What can I do? I'm fucked up everything?

Question

I'm 18 I feel sad and anger most of the time. I cry everyday. I'm afraid of public I'm scared when people staring at me and I would think something wrong on me. I feel so guilty. I fucked up everything. I just hiding inside my house doing nothing. Now I've been thinking how should I end my life and try to cut myself.

I hate everything even myself. I think I'm the biggest loser in the world. I fucked up everything. I hate when people laughing I would think that they are mocking on me.

I don't know who can I talk to. I told few friends once and they thought I'm nut. My family members knew I'm depressed but I can't really talk to them. They think depression is kind of crazy I heard them talk about that. They even yelled me as freak several times. I thought my heart was literally breaking. I'm getting worse everyday.

I don't know what am I thinking and what I want. I feel so lost. I feel like shxt. I don't know who can help me. Pls don't ask me search help from therapist every single time when I start talking about my problem I just end up crying. Besides, my dad won't allow that. He thinks I'm wasting his money. He's right I'm a piece of shxt. I should fxxxing die.

Btw, can you tell me am I crazy? I don't have any vision or hearing any voice. I just can't control my feelings. My siblings and parents told me that I'm crazy.

Answer 1

I know how you feel. and you are not crazy... I am sorry that you have no one to talk to. I am lucky and I have very supportive friends my family I don't feel comfortable talk about these things seems that my mum threatened to put me in a mental hospital when I was only 15 and all I did was not listen to her.



You do need to find someone that you feel comfortable with you might want to go behind your parents backs and go see a professional about how you are feeling.

You are also at an age where you are at the folk of the road, it is a confusing time for you.

Just trust me I was like you at a point scared and felt alone and now I am married with a beautiful baby and most of the time when I get depressed my husband doesn't understand and get stupid about things but I have a really good friend that I can always cry on her shoulder and get everything out... even if I sound stupid myself.



I think your family should go to the therapist though they seem to be the ones that are ignorant, they need to understand that depression is not something that is something you play around with its someones mind... and your emotions run wild and you can even hurt other people while having it or yourself.

But don't give anyone the satisfaction of being right about you being crazy and killing yourself. Try to be strong even when you feel weak you are so young you have a long life to live... and just remember that you are important and you need to maybe think about making a fresh start making new friends who are going to be true to you!

I hope this helps you, as I said I have suffered from these feelings

Please don't hurt yourself. You can never take back killing yourself just remember that its a one way street.

Answer 2

First of all you are not crazy and are not worthless in any way. But it sounds like you are suffering from depression and although you've said that a therapist isn't an option, talking to a counsellor will not only help relieve some of the stress and anxiety that you go through but they will be able to prescribe you with anti-depressants which will help to get you feeling great again and you will be able to gain control over your life.



Depression isn't "crazy" at all and is actually just to do with chemicals in the brain, Anti-depressants help to even out the chemicals and help you to feel like yourself again.



I would advise you to talk to a family member or friend who you trust and who will listen, and explain how you feel and that you want to seek help, even getting an appointment at your local doctor or another professional will really help you as they know what you're going through and get you on the road to feeling better.



Good luck and I hope everything works out for you. Stay Strong <3

Answer 3

This Site Might Help You.



RE:

What can I do? I'm fucked up everything?

I'm 18 I feel sad and anger most of the time. I cry everyday. I'm afraid of public I'm scared when people staring at me and I would think something wrong on me. I feel so guilty. I fucked up everything. I just hiding inside my house doing nothing. Now I've been thinking how should I...

Answer 4

Your just suffering with depression, you need to go see your doc tell them how you feel and they will help you, and you will feel much better and be able to face the world, they can get you some counceling to if you think it may help gl its common lots of people feel that way your not alone.

Answer 5

ok ok i know its a hard thing to do but say to your family that your going to kill your self BUT DONT KILL YOURSELF. by saying that you are going to kill your self your family will be scared and get you support and make you a more open person to society