I have fallen into a deep depression after being abused by my boyfriend again?

Question

My boyfriend used to treat me like a princess, he was amazing and absolutely perfect. But than I moved in with him and everything changed. He started becoming physically abusive back in November. He punched me in the eye after he didn't get his way and he lost control. He also flew into a rage and punched multiple holes in the downstairs bathroom wall. I didn't call the cops even though his own sister wanted him locked away. She referred to him as a 'monster'. He promised he would never hurt me again after that, but he did. Since then, he has hit me, smacked me, violently pulled me out of the bed by my wrists and tried to throw me down the stairs, pulled my hair, twisted my arms and wrists, he bites me and leaves bruises, pushes and shoved me...
He's also mentally and verbally abusive.
Last night, he got physical with me again. He grabbed me by my hand and tried to rip me out of the bed and drag me out of the room. He pulled my thumb all the way back. There are little cuts all over my hand. It really hurts. Everyone in the house knows what's going on, but they just act like nothing. I think his parents are afraid of him as I am. He refuses to get help, or even admit that he has a serious problem; according to him I deserve all the abuse....
But anyway, I am in a serious depression because of what happened last night. I keep replaying what happened to me over and over again. My boyfriend said he was sorry and all that **** but I'm not over it. I'm traumatized. I am literally afraid to get out of bed and leave the bedroom....I don't know what to do. I love him, but I can't live this way, but I'm too afraid to leave him...help me...

Answer 1

This is terrible. I'm sorry you are going through this terrible ordeal. Your depression is completely understandable. He has destroyed your sense of self-worth, crippled your self-esteem and altered your sense of safety. You are not deserving of this abuse.

It is not in your power to change him. Only he can do that but he has to admit to needing to change. All of his actions are left unchallenged. He is never reprimanded. His actions are never met with consequences. He has severe anger management issues. He relies on his anger to resolve problems, most of which occurs when he can't get his way.

He is toxic and so is this relationship.

You know what you must do. You have to leave him. Do so before he seriously injures you, or worse. Do you not have any family to help you? You can't live this way. Do you live in the States? If you do, visit www.rainn.org or call them at 1-800-656-HOPE.

Answer 2

I'm sorry to hear about your childhood. A lot of people have gone through horrific things as children. My ex boyfriend was molested by his male neighbor from 12 to 15. If your boyfriend cannot be patient and understand what trauma this caused you, then he is not the one for you. Maybe he is just scared. I would not focus so much on the relationship right now as that can hinder your getting better. You do not want to become co-dependent on anyone! Life is a journey. Even pain can be beautiful in the sense it makes us grow as people. If your boyfriend is a good guy and it is meant to be, then he will come around. Don't try to force anything. Also Congrats on going to school and making something out of your life! xxx

Answer 3

You are correct in saying he is abusive, because he clearly is an abuser. And a violent one at that. You know it, and his sister knows it. Perhaps you hope he will change, but I suspect a part of you understands that it's unlikely that he will. Despite whatever apologies he may make later, I think you've seen that it's only a matter of time before he does the same things again. While he may have seemed nice at one time, and may attempt to seem nice now, like most violent abusers, he's simply unable to control his actions and emotions.



However, you have a serious problem as well : although you understand that he will continue to abuse you, like many other victims of violent abusers, you may find yourself stuck with an unhealthy dependance on your abuser, and as a result, you can't bring yourself to leave despite the repeated abuse.



Not to put to fine a point on it, this a mental health issue in itself, and something that, if only for your own safety, you deserve to get some help with.



Talk to a counselor or contact the organization in your city that helps women who are dealing with abusive relationships. Most cities have groups like this, and offer help, counseling and support for people in your situation.



You are not alone in having difficulties leaving, but for your safety and self-respect, leave you should.



.

Answer 4

OK, In my opinion pills and drugs won't help you, they will only make you fall deeper. I think you should find the inner strength and go to the police. After that you can take an restraining order against him. Here's what I think will happen if you stay, you'll lose yourself and your self esteem totally and will live miserably for the rest of your life (and nobody deserves that). I think it's time to be selfish and think only about your well being because obviously he doesn't and when loving someone you first think about the person you love and than you think of yourself. In this situation he's the one who's always thinking about himself and keeps hurting you, he does not love you any more and to capitalize that he's psychologically sick. So leave him as soon as possible and go to the police because you are in serious danger. I hope this helped, good luck and let me know what happens :)

Answer 5

"Everyone in the house knows what's going on, but they just act like nothing."

Um, well don't you think that it's time for you to do something to help YOURSELF?



I wouldn't necessarily know, but I'm guessing it's hard to break up with an abuse boyfriend for several reasons.

I know you love him, but you have to learn to love yourself. You can't let him treat you like this, it'll only make you more traumatized.



Look at it this way: He used to treat you like a princess, now he's hitting you. It's only gotten worse. So therefore, it'll only get even more worse. Don't wait until the worst possible outcome.

Answer 6

Hello, I would suggest that you choose a better name. Something that makes you feel good about yourself as a person.



You have only one course of action in your situation. Get out of it. So long as you remain where you are the abuse will continue.



And when you do get out. Don't ever go back. No matter what he says or does to persuade you, don't go back.



If you do go back once you have gotten out then you are as responsible as he is for whatever happens to you.



Get out and stay out.



And don't let him know where you are.

Answer 7

I was smacking my head as I was reading this... TELL THE COPS, TELL THE COPS, TELL THE COPS

If he leaves marks on you, take photos of them. Your family are the witnesses.

Seriously, if you don't act ASAP aka right now or tomorrow, well, you call yourself a middle class human? Or a human at all? Of a worthless animal? He's using you,

Please, think about it, you need another guy, don't regret it. The sooner the better AND easier.

Answer 8

GET BACK IN BED RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!! I NEED A ****** SANDWICH, KAY???



Are you a chicken? why did you cross the road? get the **** over here