anyone know anything about aspergers? any advice greatly welcome?

Question

I have some problems with my boyfriend (we are 28) we have been together 5 year and live together and are very happy together but I have always noticed that he is different to other people emotionally.
He is highly intelligent but when we have a domestic dispute or an argument he seems to regress to having the mental age of a young teenager, he'll be stubborn, selfish, won't consider anyone else's point of view, he'll sulk for days, say the meanest things about me and our relationship, he feels NO sympathy or regret for the things he says. When someone cries in front of him, including me, he will say they are faking emotion and that he just doesn't understand why they are upset. Arguments can get blown out of all proportion and usually resort to him giving me the silent treatment for days on end until HE decides to come around, there is no reasoning with him when he gets like this and he just turns into the most petulant difficult person ever even though we are best friends, have a rock solid relationship and can normally share anything with each other.
I sometimes think maybe he has aspergers, his range of emotions just seem so much more different from everyone else's and his reaction to certain issues is just very odd - he will act like he doesn't know me if we have an argument and just puts a wall up and treats me like a stranger.
On a good day he will admit that maybe something is wrong with his personality and that he just feels "bad" inside and sometimes even says he feels "dead" inside.
he can also lose his temper quickly at the oddest things and gets frustrated easily saying that he just doesn't understand a lot of social situations but then this temper may only last an hour or so and then he'll be ok again
I'm not looking for relationship advice but just maybe some pointers on this type of behaviour? thanks very much

Answer 1

Hi, your boyfriend does not sound like he has aspergers syndrome. It sounds more like he has a mood disorder, something similar to bi-polar only whats termed 'rapidly cycling'. what this means is that he can go from feeling good and everything being okay to being very annoyed and angry almost at the flick of a switch, this can last from a few hours to a few days and then he comes out of it and gets okay: in fact I would dare to say things are more than great, they will be wonderful. This is when he is on the 'upswing'. Rapid cyclers can be drained and left emotionally withdrawn by their mood swings and really while its not as chronic as manic depression, it is equally destructive to the individual and any relationships he/she may have. I speak from personal experience, I am a rapid cycler and your bf sounds like I was before I got help. Try and encourage him to get some professional help, for his own sake... it doesn't get better on its own, but with medication he can lead a very very normal life, without the tantrums, anger and bad feelings. I wish you all the best of luck.

Answer 2

I find Byron Katie very helpful. Her worksheets are on her website.



In terms of Aspergers, I would be unsure.

Everything I know about Autism or Aspergers I know from "Kyle's Treehouse" and "The Sonrise Program" but this would probably be more relevant to children. I'm not sure!

Good luck with everything!

Love and light!

xxx

Answer 3

I work with someone whith Aspergers, and he's the oddest person Ive ever seen. He's quite smart about alot of things, but he's spectacularly ignorant when it comes to dealing with people. He says and does things that most people wouldnt even think of, then acts surprised when someone gets upset. Its like he doesnt "get it" when it comes to dealing with people.



Everything about him seems geared to maximum offensiveness. He has poor hygeine, is heavy handed and clumsy, talks loud and incessantly. I have seen him belch, fart, and floss his teeth while talking with a customer. Yet, at other times, he's extremely detail-oriented and obsessive.

Answer 4

properly, in my examine on asperger's syndrome (that i've got merely study up on line an prolonged time in the past), is that many times the syndrome is latest in youthful toddlers, yet via fact the toddler grows up, they might desire to study the social manners and proprieties that with the aid of the time they're an person, the syndrome is enormously diffused (sp?), and perplexing to inform. usually psychologists can pinpoint if an person has that syndrome with the aid of asking approximately their childhood. in spite of the indisputable fact that, i think of if somebody reads the record of each and every of the indications until eventually now latest technique the asperger's syndrome questionairre the psychologist provides them,... that's enormously person-friendly to assert what have been the indications - narrow hobbies (as an occasion, remembering a itemizing of dinosaur names, yet no longer fascinated in any respect in anatomy of dinosaurs, the place they have been got here across, what time sessions each and every lived in, and so on. in basic terms a itemizing, and not the rest), difficult to socialize, state-of-the-paintings vocabulary at a youthful age, and so on. with indicators various from toddler to toddler -... in case you assert stuff like that to a psychologist, you would be particularly categorised. i think of if he hasn't been clinically determined yet, permit him confer with a psychologist until eventually now understanding something approximately this syndrome. permit that's a honest prognosis without analyzing any lists of asperger "side consequences". that's genuine, some human beings desire to be clinically determined with this syndrome in basic terms via fact "extreme IQ" corresponds to this syndrome, yet no longer all toddlers have that situation, and it specific as hell isn't exciting to no longer understand a thank you to socialize reason you look like an alien, and you merely don't get social situations. all in all, asperger's syndrome is an extremely gentle situation of autism, different than without decrease in intelligence.

Answer 5

See http://myweb.usf.edu/~begeiger/as-symptoms.html & http://www.aspergers.com Google: "asperger's; partners" and ask there. There are courses, where Aspies are taught the interpretation of social cues, and behaviour appropriate to certain circumstances. Google: "asperger's syndrome; training courses (your location)"