Why is it that I can help everyone else but I never help myself?

Question

Lets just say I'm very 'self-punishing'. I don't know why - it's not low self esteme I don't think, it's all these irrational feelings of shame. I can nearly always help my family and friends out when they need advice or an explanation (in relationships, schoolwork, career etc.) and (I think) I offer good answers on yahoo too. Sometimes even my teachers come to me for advice! But when it comes to my problems I can never find an answer or way around it. I just end up making things worse for myself - sometimes deliberately. Why can't I help myself the way I help everyone else?

Answer 1

I am exactly the same. I think that when you help other people you are not emotionally involved, or processing in your emotional mind like you would be when you are suffering with your own problems. You can take a step back from others problems and see them with a clearer head and more rational than you would your own. x

Answer 2

The hardest question of all: what are your issues? To be able to truthfully answer that in the silence of your own heart takes tremendous courage. For example, I often help others, almost daily, just like yourself, but I have two issues which I need to work on: learning to drive a car and getting my teeth fixed. Everybody has stuff they are working on. It's called Life. I will soon need false teeth. What fun. But you know, I am actually looking forward to being able to smile again with a big full smile like I used to. And learning to drive? That's a "keep practising" thing, all the way.



So you can also help yourself, but the trick is - listen to what you tell yourself. You give yourself great advice, but you don't listen. Give just a bit of that creative energy an ear.

Answer 3

Hey,



I am like you too in many ways. I think its because you don't believe that the advice you give others will work for yourself and you don't really believe in its worth in helping your own situation. You know that the advice you give others is probably the right thing to say and do and they thank you for that because they were unableto see it themselves but you also don't hold much value in the routine answers that you give to others because it really means nothing to you, the words are empty and meaningless when you apply them to yourself and you don't think that all the common sense ways to help yourself are any good to help you?



This is a guess because this is pretty much the reason why i think that i can help others but not myself.



Best of luck

x

Answer 4

i think it is because when u help someone it's easy to give advice. but when it comes to yourself it is harder to push yourself into doing something.



hope this makes sense



oh and try going with your first instinct or if you can't get yourself to help yourself its not a bad thing to ask for some help from friends and family

Answer 5

Here's an idea: meet someone like yourself.

You'll help each other, and everyone else too. What a wonderful couple you'll be.

Answer 6

maybe your subconsially not wanting to help yourself because you feel like you shouldnt. your probably searching for someone or something sand when you find it other things will all fall into place.





so you wont feel like you need to help yourself anymore. try to find out what it is that your missing and get it

Answer 7

Its called transference - you can transfer all your anxieties etc. onto someone elses trouble its a diversion from your own.

Answer 8

you dont listen to yourself (your gut) and do things anyway even though you know you shouldt. control your actions

Answer 9

A Lazy Do-Gooder is what you are