how do i forgive myself, others?

Question

i have had a horrible habit of holding on to anger and hatred towards the people that have did me wrong. i also have alot of anger towards myself that i hold on to. how do i finally let go of my anger and forgive myself as well as others?

Answer 1

I write a lot when I am angry. It helps me to get everything down on paper so I can really see what is going on.

Ask yourself WHY are you angry and if the anger is worth the emotional energy you are putting into it. Be honest with yourself, which is hard to do.

Do you talk to whomever made you angry or are you just keeping it a secret? Talking with them may help you. They may not know they did anything to upset you. But don't be confrontational about it. That puts them on the defensive and makes them harder to talk to.



Remember these three things:



1) S**t happens, life goes on. EVERYONE on the planet has had bad stuff happen, and life still goes on.



2) Don't sweat the small stuff and everything is small stuff.



3) Will it really matter 100 years from now?

Answer 2

Hey, guess what? If you're really serious about it, a 12 Step program can help you out.

Someone directed me to Al-Anon a few years ago, saying, "It'll help you learn to deal with people."

Al-Anon groups are traditionally there to help people whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking or drug habit, BUT where the books say 'alcohol,' you can simply substitute with 'people, places, and things.'

It takes strength of characted to go through this stuff, though. You'll want to find a sponsor eventually, maybe, to help you get through the stuff, but only if you can handle brutal honesty. This actually begins with brutal honesty with yourSELF.

You obviously see something wrong with your grudges, otherwise you wouldn't be here posting about it, right? So I think you'll be okay. If you can devote the time to yourself, all it takes is some insight & a lot of good reading & journaling; I used to sit in a restaurant for a good 6 hours every morning drinking coffee & writing, and it's really amazing what it did for me.

Look into it.

Answer 3

You need to find skills for releasing anger. Strenuous exercise works for me. Loud music sometimes helps. Some scream into a pillow.



Emotionally, you have to learn how to just say "screw it" and move on.

Answer 4

Ask God to forgive you! He's ready and willing...in fact, He all ready died for you and your sin, since he was perfect, so now, if you just ask, he will forgive you! when you know that, and if you just rely on GOd, he will help you to forgive others. i'll be praying that you can let go of your anger :)

Answer 5

Don't react.



And every person you see, you see his face and say i should respect this reason for reason x.



This way you will get rid off the negative vibes.

Answer 6

hey sven please replace your avtar with the one you earlier had ... and about your problem ... hit your pillow real hard ... beat it up ... shout at yourself at the mirror ... kick nothing ... just do a kicking movement with your legs ... shout at your reflection about things you always wanted to say but never did ... and do it out loud ... and finally ... laugh out loud like crazy ... i might sound insane ... but it helps ...

Answer 7

Hey,get a guitar,learn how to play,and write a song.



e.g. "I hate myself for loving you",

"I love to hate you","I hate everything about you",

"makes me mad...(many songs)","it makes me angry"(cranberries),etc. etc. etc.!!!