I need some help with my depression, where do I go now?

Question

Apologies for the length...

In October last year I was sectioned, I had depression and had tried to kill myself several times. I realised I needed help and went to hospital and they put me in a psychiatric hospital. After being in there a couple of weeks I asked the doctor who was in charge of my care what I needed to do to get out of there. He said when I show 'no signs of depression' I can leave. I asked him to clarify as it sounded completely unrealistic for me to have no signs of depression, surely everyone has some signs of depression, he confirmed what he'd just said. After a few days of sulking and not wanting to be in there I decided I just had to tell them what they wanted to here so I could get out. I was resigned to having to deal with everything myself rather than get any support.

So after being in the hospital for about a month they let me go (this was the middle of November) from the start of December I was planning to kill myself on New Years Eve. I had fallen behind on my rent and was asked to leave by the 1st January. I overdosed on New Years Eve (Paracetamol, Valium and Vodka) and when I woke up the following morning I had nowhere to go. I wandered the streets for a while and then late that evening went the A+E. I was in hospital for 10 days, said what I thought they wanted to hear and then left.

I was being looked after by a crisis team - they came round most days for a couple of weeks. I told them I was fine. I wasn't but again I was telling them what they wanted to hear after being out of hospital for 5 days I stopped eating and drinking for a week (trying to kill myself), after not eating or drinking anything for 7 days I drank something, realised I needed help and called them. They came round to see me and talked to me. 3 days later they discharged me and put me in the care of the local mental health team.

I have seen a doctor from the mental health team once since then (about a month ago), I have ignored their calls (they have sent police round on a couple of occasions as they were concerned about my safety).

I had a letter from them last week saying I had an appointment with a doctor the following day. I called them and said I am fine and I don't want any help and got a letter a couple of days later saying I was discharged from their service and back into the care of my GP if I needed any help.

Then last week I took an overdose (paracetamol) I haven't seen anyone but I assume that as it's more than a week later I haven't done myself any damage.

This morning I woke up and decided I needed help, I got a GP appointment and saw a doctor at my local surgery. I said I needed something for depression and to help me sleep. He sent me away with a prescription for a tablet that will dissolve in my mouth to help me sleep and told me to keep taking the medication I had been prescribed a month ago but take it in the evening and it would help me sleep. I told him the thought of taking those tablets makes me feel sick. He told me to try to take them anyway. I had previously taken a look on the internet about the medication I'd been prescribed a month ago (duloxetine) and knew these wouldn't help me sleep if anything they would stop me sleeping and got the distinct feeling he was trying to fob me off.

I left the surgery feeling rubbish but still in a frame of mind where I knew I needed help. I called NHS Direct, got transferred to a nurse who basically said when I said I needed some help and seeing a GP din't help that 'a GP is a gatekeeper to all our services'. I ended the call there.

I feel like killing myself most of the time. I know I will end up doing it if I don't get some proper help when I'm in a frame of mind like I am now trying to get some help.

How can I get help??

Answer 1

You need a good reason to live.



Friends of mine were set free from depression after they called on God to give His Life.



I have several testimonies:



Wendy - In the year 2000 I was suffering severe depression. I was

unemployed for over seven years. Everything seemed helpless and

hopeless. Everything that I had tried either didn't work or only worked

for a short time.

I believed in God and Jesus Christ and that I could pray to Him to

help me. I had been doing that for years, but it seemed He wasn’t

listening. I was very unhappy and felt I was slipping away and I didn't

want to lose my love for God, I would rather die than lose that.

I decided to pray once more and ask Jesus to plead my cause

before His Father and I wouldn't stop saying Abba Father until He

helped me. My tongue started speaking in a language that I never

learnt. I thought at first I had lost my mind because I didn't

understand what I was saying, but then the scripture came into my

head " The Holy Spirit makes intercession with groanings that

cannot be uttered" I was filled with a tremendous feeling of relief, joy,

light and indescribable peace.

I wanted to know more about this Holy Spirit. A week later a couple of

people showed me in the Bible that you can receive the Holy Spirit

and speak in tongues and it was a promise for today.

I was baptized, I got a job and I feel much better about myself

because I am needed and appreciated. It was like He has put a new

song in my mouth and heart, even the praise unto our God.



Video testimonies:

http://re-acts.com/convention2011.htm



.

Answer 2

There are many people you can turn to, for example, asking your GP to refer you to a councillor. I know it sounds horrible, the thought of it, but venting your problems will take a huge weight off your shoulders. Also finding something to do in the meantime could help your mental well being, finding a hidden talent or hobby, writing, painting, something that releases the pain you're feeling. You should definitely get help, and if you feel like your GP is messing about with your health, ask to change and explain why you want to change.

I hope you get better soon, take care of yourself and keep on trying to get yourself happy and healthy again, good luck.

Answer 3

sadly many psychiatric ward environments are not the therapeutic places they once were due to financial cut backs i.e. most wards do not have sufficient staff so the minimum of services are offered.



at one time there were wards for people who needed rest retreat and therapeutic input but now they seem to have become temporary holding bays for people at risk to themselves or others. Neither nursing staff or patients want this scenario but this is what we are faced with.



I would suggest you go back to your GP and ask to be referred for cognitive behavioural therapy or request this of your care coordinator if you are still under the care of the mental health team.



If you are willing to make a commitment to therapy i.e. prepared to attend regularly and work on your problems outside of session you stand a better chance of getting better and will develop some tools to understand and respond to suicidal feelings when they occur. If you decide to take this path you will find the experience of this very different to the type of help you have had so far because its about you learning to take back responsibility for getting better. You will gain insight into how your thoughts affect your emotions and behaviour and learn to challenge your own thought processes and respond differently when the **** hits the fan so to speak, at least give it a whirl before you decide theres no way forward.

Answer 4

Well, how old are you?



If you're in your teen years, then you should go to a residential treatment center or a therapeutic boarding school for a while. Or like a program connected to the mental hospital...daily therapy and such.



If you're an adult you should find some programs like those^

Its good that you want help, that's a good sign.



I'm sixteen and currently looking at therapeutic boarding schools so I don't end up being suicidal again. Good luck to you

Answer 5

You list about twenty skilled people that have tried, in the only way they know, to give you help and support. They do it for a living but anyone in that kind of job does it because they care. You seem to have blanked them all, lied to them and dumped their advice and care.



Show one ounce of willing and a modicum of honesty and you will be overwhelmed with care and support.



So make your mind up, do you want help or do you want constant attention? People tire of drama, people thrive on caring and sharing and progress.



All sound harsh? Wear their shoes for a day.



Depression is debilitating, it can be medicated and folks can work to leave it behind. There is so much to see and do in this world. I recommend that you change tack, start recovering, start exploring and start looking outwards instead of the lonely and barren inwards view.

Answer 6

My heartfelt condolences, sincerely. I can honestly say I KNOW what you are going through. My mother passed away on May 24, 2004, then while still grieving for her, my niece and two nephews were killed in a tragic car accident on June 26, 2004. I know that I still feel very sad at times, five years and I still have moments where I cry, we will always remember the ones that leave us, our tears are for ourselves, we feel abandoned, and at times alone. You can only keep moving, keep breathing, eventually, some days will seem like you are your old self. Good luck, and again my condolences.

Answer 7

Omega 3's 3 pills a day to start every day for 1 week. It cured my depression. Just make sure it has no crap fillers or excipients and is purified free of PCBs and mercury. Not jsut fish oils (cod liver does NOT work, I switched to that and became suicidal again). It needs to be high in DHA & EPA.

Answer 8

i think you should go back to the hospital you were at because that seemed what was best for you. Also if you end up going again you shouldn't tell the people what they want to hear because your only hurting yourself. I wish you luck and hope that you get better and get the help you need (: