I screwed up my life badly, I can't take it?

Question

I shouldn't have stopped studying after high school, I know that now. However, I was depressed because of loss of a friends (best friend actually) during the last year in high school, and I just didn't have the will to live, let alone study... Anyways, now I'm 21, and I'm just embarrassed of working minimum wage jobs. It's not the actual salary that I'm working for that I'm embarrassed about. It's about WHAT I'm doing. I was nearly a straight A student who was always taking part and succeeding in math, English and physics competitions. And I'm doing the same job as someone who didn't even go to high school (cashier, laborer etc.). Those are really not the people I belong to... :( I get discriminated, bullied and made fun all the time by every single person I worked alongside with, because I like spending my free time practicing programming, doing math or reading. Worst part is, I can't even afford a place of my own. And every time I come home, my parents call me a failure. Remind me how I should have gone to college or something... My friends too. But that isn't making anything easier for me. I just want to end it all, really. For the past few months, all I could think about is suicide. I even attempted one. I drank 6 sleeping pills, alongside a whole bottle of vodka. I've got no idea how I survived... Help?

Answer 1

You did not screw up. All you did was not go to college right after high school. You got a job instead. Do you know how many people would think themselves lucky to do that? Your problems are minor and are all in your head.



If you have a community college near, register for one or two classes. This will get you back into studying. You are only 21! Not 81. You have your whole life ahead of you.



Since you like programming, also see if there is a technical college near where you could take some classes. You could be finished in two years and get a much better paying job.



When you start classes, you will meet more people that you have things in common with, and you won't feel like such a loner or outsider.



Good luck.

Answer 2

Hello there,



You are stronger than you think. This is only a temporary situation. You have a purpose in life just like everyone else. So tell yourself that, and don't believe anything less. I had lost friends, I am on academic probation with the chance of being kicked out of college, I had depression, and etc. but I don't look at every thing I had experienced as a bad thing. Things happen for a reason, it's up to you to keep it moving. As for the job situation, sometimes you have to start out small, before you can get somewhere. You are only 21, and you are still considered a young adult, you can always go back and recurve your education. There are 50 year olds that I know, that are doing so.You just need to stay strong, because your situation could always be worse than what it is.

Answer 3

Get your GED. There are many places to get your GED and I think one of them is on-line. Our library offers classes so check there. I think Paolo may be wrong on the joining the military as they now want everyone to have a high school diploma. During WW 2 they took males at 16 and even younger if they lied about their age. Here is this excerpt from Military.com: Sgt. 1st Class Richard Teunis, a recruiter for the Army, claims that "instead of being able to talk to 90-percent of the population, you could only talk to 50 percent or maybe less than that." The caliber of each applicant has increased, and a GED is no longer enough to enter the military. If individuals do not have a high school diploma, they are encouraged to obtain about a semester's-worth of college credits before reapplying.



You are too young to have screwed up your life. You have years to make changes. You have job experience. You are older and wiser. Your study habits will be better than those in high school. You can probably breeze through your GED. Then apply to college and live there or nearby so you won't have to live with your parents. You can still work while in college. Colleges have jobs for students so apply for one. If there is a community college in your town, go to it as it will be less expensive. You don't want to incur much student loan debt. Maybe if you went to a local college you could live at home and your parents would get off your back.



You were a good student once so you will be again. Don't give up as you have a lot of potential.

Answer 4

Do you want to go to school? Do you have a idea what you want to do..I don't think it is fair to push kids right after high school to University let them take a year off but have a job and see what kind of job you can get without higher education. Depending what you want to do. No push on you, take your time to think about it as that will be the job the rest of your life.Think of what interests you, things that really get you going and you think about more then anything else. My ex got a job at a large warehouse for a huge company he started off making 22.00 a hour and now makes 55 thousand a year not breaking his back. These jobs are around you just have to look around and search. I have 2 friends that finished College and could not find a job in their field they work one of them at their dad's furnace biz the other a manager for McDonald's but his pay is pretty good. You have to check the need for what you are taking in University or you are wasting your time as there won't be any jobs.

You can do this i know you can find something you really like, check if there really is a need for it and go for it..

You will be making a lot more money then me;) But i get payed support from my ex too so i am fine, do it k:)

Answer 5

Hey you're only 21! Relax it'd never too late. But I feel you, I sometimes feel the same way because I see my friends graduating etc. And I'm stuck at home since we're stationed in Germany. I feel my life is at a halt. But it's not late believed me! If you WANT IT you will do it, don't make this an excuse and go out there and prove your parents wrong! Again your young relax you can't have it all at once. Build your entire slowly..... but that's only if you're really willing to work for this. Best of luck ❤

Answer 6

Do not get on any prescription drugs. Trust me, you will become dependent on them.



Just start studying again? You're ALWAYS growing up. There's always time to study. I didn't start my new career till 27 years old. I work in IT fixing computers. Started out making 35k and went to 55k in 1 year (hard work, research, asking for more work to do, and job hopping unfortunately).



You can do it too. Your life isn't screwed up lol, you're only 21?

You're not the only person working minimum wage jobs. Why not work your way up into a company?

Say you work at Target or Floor & Decor. Work hard, get promoted (lead, assistant manager, manager/key holder). When corporate comes by show them you're enthusiastic and motivated... Move to a corporate environment making 100k+ a year. That's more than MOST people make. Is corporate Target still too embarrassing?



College won't put you there automatically. And you can get there without college.

Answer 7

If you don't like your job, try self employment. While you still have the support of your parents may be best opportunity because you have the biggest thing covered that prevents most people from ever trying to start thier own business. Surviving if it doesn't work out.

Even if you have to stay at your current job, you can honestly tell people you are only there as a means to cover your expenses while you grow your company and you are living with your parents to minimize your overhead during this time.

If you're good with numbers, have decent writing skills and the ability to do some research, you might try making some money by selling stuff on eBay or the like.

About 5 years ago, I bought a bag of 20 "power and balance" bracelets from a direct from china site for about $39.00 with free shipping. I sold them on eBay $21.95, buy one get one free with free shipping. My profit was about $8.00 per bracelet. I bought and sold 50, then 100 more bracelets before the fad ended and I moved on.

Answer 8

Ive been there. Twice. Being young the only thing i could find were pills. And if you last through it youll regret it that much more. Vomiting uncontrollably, shaking, anxiety, hospital for days, police investigations, mental hospitals afterwards. As much as you think nobody cares, that's when you have to. You have to care enough for yourself not to. And if that isn't a strong enough motivation, find something that is. This is when a therapy dog will do a great deal. They'll depend on you to always be there. Get a dog. I'm telling you, it'll save your metal and physical health.

Answer 9

Your only 21. You can still turn your life around a lot. I know of someone who took a bottle of sleeping pills and still survived. I'm not sure about you but I believe that seeing as you drank all the Vodka and sleeping stuff and you still survived. You were meant to live for some reason. You may not know that reason now but I know you will soon enough. Just stay strong and don't try anything else.

Answer 10

Don't worry about what other people think about you. What other's think of you is of no consequence to you. What matters is what you think of them (Gore Vidal). Also, if you are happy with who you are and what you do, what other people say, won't even matter. The problem is when you start thinking they are right, then that will depress you and put u in a bad mood. So ignore them. This is ur live, live it fully and with purpose. Besides it is not about u so much, it is more about serving others. Once you find the purpose in life and you start serving others then u take urself out of the equation, and you live a more rewarding life.

Answer 11

I can relate due to the academic grades which is why even as an undergrad, I can't seem to picture myself with menial jobs although I've worked for numerous minimum wage jobs in the past. If you don't want to remain in the same situation, you have to help yourself. See if you can learn skills that will lead to good paying jobs. You can next work on earning a college degree afterwards.



See 10 Online Places to Learn Valuable Job Skills, for Free - http://bitly.com/20HehQG

Answer 12

You are very brave to reach out for support, especially when you are feeling like no one is in your corner. If you are feeling suicidal tonight, please reach out and talk with someone or contact a suicide prevention line.

Suicide is never an answer to your problems. It is a Permanent solution to a Temporary problem.

You have many options to go back to school! You are a very intelligent young person and even though you have been side-tracked by depression, it is never too late to get started on making your future better!

You may need to get some treatment for your depression before tackling the school issue. Treatments for depression include: medication and counseling. Make an appointment with your family physician to get an evaluation. Sometimes, there may be other medical reasons for an ongoing depression.

Counseling is another great option. If you have health insurance you can see what providers are covered. Otherwise, many counseling centers offer affordable counseling for those in need.

Once you are feeling better you can begin to make a plan for finishing your education. There are grants and other options to assist those with financial need. You can also take classes online or attend a local community college to get started on a degree. As you continue to work towards your goal, you may find scholarships and other avenues to help pay for you schooling.

Remember, it is never too late to move forward. You are obviously very bright and getting your degree might help you feel more fulfilled. If you need more support and or referrals for further help, keep reaching out!



LP, Counselor

Answer 13

OK, so return to a junior college or even your local university and go pt. Then keep your job and do both. Who care s what THEY think , who the heck are THEY anyhow?You are very young still. The college also has access to housing referrals and a counseling dept as well as Financial Aid which you could qualify for and then live in a dorm or rent w/ a college roomy and then do your 4 years of college and decide whether you will go into teaching science or math or whatever you desire. You sound to be like a Very Smart Cookie. Please "Accentuate the Positive" and Ignore THEM.....Keep Going Strong---Army Strong even the military is an option if you dont go psycho???They too can help train you. DO NOT GIVE UP on YOURSELF!!!!!

Answer 14

Join the military. My dad droped out of high school. He joined the military and after 20 years of service he's getting retirement. At first your going to get an estimated 8 dollars a hour but the pay is going to get much greater once you rank much. If you're scared don't worry. The chances of you seeing battle are slim. After you retire you could get college degree.

Answer 15

I find the best thing to do when you discover a "mistake" is to correct it. You can decide to go back to school now. Sit down with a counselor if necessary, but figure out what kind of job you would like, what has good opportunities and good pay. Find any financial assistance you need and start taking classes. If you feel lost, planning all this will give you what you need to stop feeling that way. It will give you not only a plan but a sense of purpose.

Answer 16

Maybe look into getting a job at a restaurant or even a bar ,you can make tips it can be a fun enviroment and most of those kinda jobs (server,barback,busser even)have flexible schedules so you can go to school in the day. At 21 you have alot of potential your life is just beginning ,don't let ppl get you down ,focus on your own happiness, don't do things to make others happy ,do things to make yourself happy because you will never please everybody!

Answer 17

You shouldn't best yourself up. Your 21 if you want to go back to school.. GO. What's holding you back. Show all those people that have something bad to say about you that you can do it. There are tons of o online schools and tons of tech schools you can attend. All you have to do is start calling and filing out applications. Talk to advisers. They are there to help you get in and started. You can do it I believe in you. And you should too. It's never too late.

Answer 18

Your life is much better than mine. I am 21 and graduated college but due to depression I never looked for jobs in my major in college. I have never worked in my life so no one wants to hire me I wish I had that minimum wage job that you have. I am a college grad with no employment. I am the one who should kill myself. At least with a minimum wage job you could probably afford a prostitute while I cannot due to not having a job. I am very depressed so it makes it even tougher to get a job. Since I don't have any money I cannot pay a prostitute and I have to jack off three times a day and I am very horny that I wish I was dead instead of being jobless and sexless. I should be making 60+ k a year and instead I am a horny jobless bastard.

Answer 19

Why not go and take student loans out if you have to? ? Stop self pitying yourself and make a change in your life. You're only 21, you're so very young!! Do something with your life, go to college.

Answer 20

You are 21 and your whole life is ahead of you. Work during the day and go to night school at night. It is hard, but you can get your life back on course. Lots of people work and go to college at the same time.

What bothers me is that you have invited the spirit of death into your life by trying to commit suicide. You are blessed to not be a cripple or mentally disturbed. Suicide attempts often make life worse for a lot of people.

I want you to say out loud "I cast out the spirit of fear and the spirit of death in the name of Jesus." Surely, you know who Jesus Christ is; if not you need to learn real quickly. You are tormented with your own self hatred for not doing what you should have done. Self hatred is a sin. So ask God to forgive you and start to realize what God says about you. He says you are wonderfully and fearfully made and that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Fill your mind with the Holy Bible and what God says about you. This will give you courage to stand up against and overcome all the obstacles in life.

Answer 21

You are still young. I went back to college at 29, and now I have a degree in computer science. Don't let people get you down. Go to school and make a lot of money; them rub it in them faces.

Answer 22

Stop surfing the net. This will save on some money. Get a programming course, not online, okay online if you are ready.. But get a programming course, or pursue a degree in Math. Become a teacher at high school, or just get a job as a programmer.



First do this and the rest will follow.

Answer 23

Go to a community college and get a better job.

My niece's first husband was like you but never came out of the 'dark'. He also go upset about having minimum paying jobs....however, he never did anything about it - just more drugs and death.

Answer 24

You sound confused and emotionally exhausted. maybe even depressed. Stress and depression are common but easy to treat. Find a good dr. and ask for Zoloft. It takes 2-4 wks for your body to adjust during which time you will have trouble staying asleep. But, after that, you will be a whole, new, happy person.



Take night or weekend classes. You deserve a much better life and higher-paying job.

Answer 25

Get into therapy; you can get a GED in a short time; you can get job training for a higher-paying job. You can go to college, in person or online, at night and on weekends. Where there's a will, there is a way. Good luck.

Answer 26

You're so strong i wouldve never lasted so long with such people or such feelings on my head. But youre only 21!!! Its FAR from over :D

You still can go to college and prove just how amazing and strong you are!!! Who cares about your parents? If they are not supporting you **** them! Youre not a **** up! Be proud of how far youve gotten. Go to college if you still want to, if you dont, then dont go and live your life :) good luck!!!

Answer 27

Life is long . seems that you will have time to remedy any mistake you may have made .By the time you are 60 you will have not only cleaned up the mess you made as a youngster but two or three others that have popped up between there and here . and here is ( your future ) relax and enjoy the ride . smile and have fun with it . people like happy people more then they like money . make sure you keep your dentist appointments smiles require teeth .

Answer 28

It's not to late! You can catch up with your studies. Find out about night school in your area. Put all your energy in to your future. You can do it. Good luck x

Answer 29

Don't worry. I used to feel this way too but then I realized life is futile no matter whether or not you succeed. This thought comforts me when I worry about my many failures in life.

Answer 30

well , with your kind permission- you're young enough to be my son- to begin with...

you're - still - at the utmost age of flourishing in every way-and a difficult age-too-on the other hand...

you probably need the professional help of a psychologist or psychiatrist thereof-in real life-in your area -someone skilled in treating people of your age- with no further delay...

but you also need tender, love and care...

you made a mistake everyone of us could have made in the same setting...

and something essential has to change in your life: your attitude, sir...yeah...

you've got to boost your self- esteem and self- confidence... ypu've got to learn to love and respect yourself along with respecting others...

you've got to set clear limits to people..limits not to be trespassed...about bullying for instance...

by the way-you're getting bullied due to your doing your best to improve your professional future...

I'm proud of your doing it... and steps have to immediately be taken to stop the bullying ..whatever it takes...including involving law enforcement as needed...

you're NO failure - whatsoever...nor will you ever be... unless you want to... which I hope you don't...

you've got to stop seeing yourself as a failure - to begin with...

be so kind -please- to understand, heed and comply with the wise German proverb:'' lost money? lost NOTHING!

Lost courage( to get up after failures , go on and make your dreams come true)? lost EVERYTHING!''

Stick to life...timely get the help you need... and may life come your way...may it smile to you in return...may you overcome your life's hardships..may you make all your dreams come true...the best possible, dignified way...here-in this world...

be so kind to understand you did nothing that wrong that it couldn't be fixed...

be so kind to do yourself the favor to see yourself as you provbably are: just another unique unrepeatable pearl of humanity -therefore entitled- at least as much as everyone of us- to a normal, happy, dignified life...

and -as such- you're NOT dispensable , sir...

some years ago-a 40 years-old man- more or less - suddenly lot-one day- both his wife and his 4 little daughters who were-all- ruthlessly murdered...

well, NOT just he didn't commit suicide, but- instead- kept working as a school teacher(!) , then later on remarried and is now a father again- of a little boy...

true story...

he was able to rebuild his life from rubble...

What-in the name of The Lord- makes you think you won't be able to overcome your life's hardships- whatever they be?!

may you stay forever- blessed and kept safe and proof from all harm...

Answer 31

bad things happen all the time. standards cannot apply to everyone. Don't feel bad, it happens all the time. Love will set you free. Dreams, hopes, we stand together as one.

Answer 32

You really are stronger that you are, just keep working save some money, have confidence ,I think you can be really really successful even without going to college, but if you like it you just go there, you are still so young

Answer 33

Move to a new town start over

Answer 34

So, go to college now and pick up your life and education where you dropped it (at age 18). If you need help to do that, go and see your doctor and tell him/her how low and miserable and useless you feel.

Answer 35

Get your life back using cds by Bob Griswold.

Answer 36

Do whatever you need to do to survive. This world is unfair and you must face that. Everybody must. Get help, get it from anyone or anything you can.

Answer 37

You survived your sudical attempts because you are worthy to this life. Suicide is not th way

Answer 38

maybe you reach working year 7 which is sabbathical year.

bible says to take sabbathical leave in working year 7.

info : http://wortel.ucoz.com/7years.txt



programmer job is depressing because programmer job

has sedentary lifestyle.

aerobic exercise / moving around is the medicine

for depression.

benefit of aerobic exercise

(

from

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurobiological_effects_of_physical_exercise#IGF-1_signaling

from 'Neurobiological effects of physical exercise § IGF-1 signaling' in

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insulin-like_growth_factor_1#Aging

from 'IGF-I' in https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casein#Autism

) :

- improved stress coping

source :

'improved stress coping, improved cognitive function, and increased neuronal

activity (c-Fos and BDNF signaling).[12][13]'

in https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurobiological_effects_of_physical_exercise



- cure depression

source :

'A number of medical reviews have indicated that exercise has a marked and

persistent antidepressant effect in humans,[4][16][17][18][19][20] an effect

believed to be mediated through enhanced BDNF signaling in the brain.[8][17]'

in https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurobiological_effects_of_physical_exercise



a programmer may get bullied as well.

colleagues may snoop your computer-monitor, checking what

code you are writing now.

competition in programming job is worldwide, supply for programming job

seem to exceed demand.

accounting job maybe is still in-demand.

but who wants to study tax-code and do accounting math anyway.

example of bad programming job :

'fully conformed to the contract' in

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leidos#FBI_allegations



company review in www.glassdoor.com has review about job position

often complain about bureaucracy in programmer job.



addition 6 may 2016 ---

physical exercise, diet tips which maybe helpful : http://wortel.ucoz.com/loseweight_gainmuscle.txt

Answer 39

Without taking prior permission, if you do such mischief or misadventure, it will definitely happen. At least in future please take prior permission from me or your beloved parents before venturing such a risky job.

Answer 40

21 is not too late to go to college. Check out "low interest student loans; college; USA; Oprah" at

https://www.google.com.au/search?client=opera&q=low+interest+student+loans%3B+college%3B+USA%3B+Oprah&sourceid=opera&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8



Suicidal thoughts are a symptom of depression.



Use the effective natural core treatments for depression at * http://your-mental-health.weebly.com/1.html & read page B (Note the post about MEDICATION & DEPRESSION). Although it's sensible to go to a doctor for tests, be aware that you are likely to be prescribed antidepressants; I advise saying "thank you, doctor", and pocketing it for possible use later, if needed (hopefully not). Double blind studies have shown that, statistically, antidepressants are only slightly more effective than a placebo, but with risks, and side effects. Most people who are depressed would be far better off trying the natural/alternative treatments for at least 3 months, to see if they work for them, rather than accepting the risks, and/or side effects of medications, and even if insufficient, (unlikely) maintain the core treatments, Omega 3, & optimise vitamin D levels). Identify the cause: http://curetogether.com/depression/ig/treatment-effectiveness-vs-popularity & http://extrahappiness.com/happiness/?p=4218 and if applicable; http://sfhelp.org/gwc/wounds.htm If using a RECOMMENDED * brand of St. John's Wort (take with meals to avoid possible stomach upsets) view the websites about it on page B*, and if also using UP TO 50mg of 5-htp daily - http://www.foodforthebrain.org/content.asp?id_Content=1635 refers- in addition, (or UP TO 200mg of 5-htp if NOT using the wort. I note with interest that in the study referred to, 300 mg of 5-htp was used) take with a very low protein meal, to maximise the amount crossing the blood/brain barrier, with no, or extremely little protein 2 hrs before, to 2 hrs afterwards. I suggest beginning with 50 mg on the first day, and if no adverse reaction, keep increasing it until reaching the desired level, to let your system accustom itself to it gradually. Google maximum safe dosage. Alternatively, use SAMe (S-adenosy-L-methionine) but nothing else. Has the advantage of working more quickly than St John's wort. Use only the butanedisulfonate form in enteric-coated tablets, or in capsules. The usual dosage is 400 to 1,600 milligrams daily, taken on an empty stomach. Take lower doses (under 800 milligrams) once a day, a half hour before the morning meal. Split higher doses, taking the second a half hour before lunch. I'd avoid medications, except as a last resort, and even then, only use temporarily, as they don't address the causes, merely (imperfectly) treat the symptoms, and carry risks, and side effects.



Learn and employ the relaxation techniques (begin with Progressive Muscle Relaxation) and the EFT variant for use in public places, in case it is needed there. More, such as Yoga Nidra (a series of easy mental exercises only; no bodily flexibility is required) are shown on pages L, & B, at weebly.com.

"Even if we have some vague idea that we are not our feelings or our thoughts, when we are experiencing painful feelings or painful thoughts, we believe we have to feel them or think them just because of the fact that they are occurring to us. But painful feelings can be indirectly controlled by physical action, and changing our present thoughts for different thoughts (since feeling occurs as a result of thinking.)

Painful thoughts can be directly controlled by choosing replacement thoughts for the ones that are troubling us. Sure, it takes some practice to change a habit of suffering. But it can be done. Of course it can't be done if we choose to believe that it can't be done. But, since the choice is ours, why not choose to believe it can be done, and do it?". Read: "Lift your mood now." by John D Preston, Psy.D. 2001, New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 5674 Shattuck Avenue, Oakland. CA ( for depression; short 5 - 10 mn chapters, easily employed immediately), & Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think by Dennis Greenberger and Christine Padesky, & "Feeling Good." The New Mood Therapy. Harper Collins.1999. ( updated sequel to his US bestseller about treating depression & anxiety; very comprehensive), by David D. Burns, M.D., & Change Your Thinking by Sarah Edelman, & Healing Depression & Bipolar Disorder Without Drugs, by Gracelyn Guyols, & (for females only) "Eight Weeks to Vibrant Health: A Take Charge Plan for Women to Correct Imbalances, Reclaim Energy and Restore Well-Being" by Hyla Cass MD and Kathleen Barnes, from your bookstore, Amazon.com or BarnesandNoble.com.

Answer 41

thinks positive

Answer 42

Do what YOU want its your life!

Answer 43

We can't help you, but a qualified counselor or therapist can. Please see one.

Answer 44

.