boyfriend of one year is crack coccaine addict. i need your help urgently xx?

Question

booyfriend of one year addicted to crack coccaine.

i recently moved in with him, and already its starting to wear me down. he only does it once a week as he doesnt have the money. i dont want to give up on him as there are so many good things about him and we love each other. he doesnt even look like a coccaine addict, he is smart and clean. very intelligent. his family all died one by one and this triggered his coccaine use. he said he has been alone for so long. i want to support him but i feel like i cant start telling him what to do and that he could die. how can i be there for him but yet not let him think that i agree with drugs or that its ok. its so hard but i want to show him im not giving up on him.

Answer 1

If you boyfriend is a crack cocaine addict you cannot take him seriously. It is likely you don't even know the real him. Help him and support him out of the addiction, but by no means trust him. Crack cocaine users are generally liers and devious.

Answer 2

Thank goodness there are some people here speaking sense to you. I have never dealt directly with this type of addiction, but I consider it pretty harsh to say that a human being does not deserve love because they have an addiction problem. This person 'gets wrecked' once a week; how many other people get totally bladdered on booze (at least)once a week - or stuff their already overweight bodies with a(nother) Kentucky Bucket? All of these negative activities affect the persons' health and the quality of life for those around them, yet these people aren't necessarily socially ostrachised. Views and people are easily manipulated and socially conditioned to accept certain things as ok, and others as not (excess food and alcohol are apparently acceptable nowadays but it is not acceptable for someone to smoke a joint occasionally); people don't always have the intellect to think for themselves outside of these socially conditioned views. Should people addicted to drugs really be deemed unworthy of love? Addiction comes in many forms and those addicts need not only the will to change, but often the support of loved one to help. I am not saying you should stay with him, personally I would give him an ultimatum and if he doesn't stop then he probably cares more about his weekly fix than you. You can't help a lost cause, but you can support some one you love through a difficult time. Nuff said. :O)

Answer 3

I think the best way to try and talk to him about it is to tell him how you feel by stating before what you say "I feel" or "My feelings about this is" instead of saying "you need" or " I can't". It won't make him feel as pressured and he will look at you instead of trying to look within himself.



The second step after this is trying to see if he is willing to stop on his own or considering therapy/ seeing a psychiatrist. Also if he is willing to possibly go to rehab for it (which is a last resort because not everyone needs a facility to rehabilitate).



I'm sorry to say, but another thing you can do is threaten to leave. If that doesn't work, I'm don't know what else to tell you dear. You might have to leave him.





I hope he kicks it and I wish you the best.





By the way, don't listen to the others. You know what love is and those other fools just think that leaving him will make it better (leaving has to be your last resort though) but in the end it might make him so much worse and I'm sure that it would cause some serious guilt.



I know because I had a serious problem with alcohol that caused me to do some seriously hurtful things and my fiance forgave me and was by my side to pull through it.



Call his friends and any other family and let them know.

Answer 4

He needs to have an assessment done. I was amrried to a man the same thing, but eventually the cocaine won the battle. He spent so much of our money. Taking checks, using my debit card. Best thing to do is decide to you really want to have to hide your purse everynight. OR the dvd player goes missing in the middle of the night. I know you want to help him, but i assure you this disease of addiction progresses and people who use become vampires of your emotional and financial help. My husband spent about 25,000 and left all the debt to me in our divorce. this was in 4 yrs. They say don't leave me i don't have anyone else. Truth is they could have friends but they put all their eggs in one basket. By the way my ex husband is still very close to his smoking buddy. They have had a long relationship of using together. Longer than any other relationship in his life. I know they still use.

It has ruined his relationship with our son as well. And there is something mentally odd about our son, I think partially due to his fathers drug use. AND CRACK HAS A 99% relapse rate. Thats what finally got me over the hump. I read that and thought what the hell am I trying to hold up a sinking ship for?

Answer 5

I had a crack cocaine habit starting when my nan died.You have to give you boyfriend an ultimatum,either he stops drugs or he loses you.My family gave me that choice and I knew right then I had to stop.Be serious with him and if he loves you he will do the right thing.He may be able to get help from his doctor as well but considering how addictive people say crack cocaine is it is not the hardest thing in the world to give up if you are determined to do it.

Good luck.

Answer 6

If he doesn't have anyone supporting him, then even if you couldn't take it anymore (and you care for him, which it appears you do) you have to be there for him. How do you know how often he does it? Why aren't you there that one time of the week to stop him? I'm not that much of a cocaine addict expert but once a week doesn't seem like the addiction is that strong. Which would be good news of course. Sounds like your love and devotion would be enough to stop this horrible habit. If not, then he needs to be put into a program where people with experience will be able to help him.

Answer 7

if he loves and cares for you he should seek help to come off it, this is not a good start in your relation,what if you start a family not the kind of life for children to be brought up in, it could be your money that is next.we all lose family members this is no excuse,some lose them through drugs, don't let him be one of them, as you state it is starting to affect you and this is once a week on it if he got more money would it be 3-4 times a week, if he does not stop and refuses help move out and move on, this i know would be hard to do but may make him change, as you state he is intelligent let him know what he has to lose, don't you be the loser, if he cares about you he will seek help

,there is plenty of help out there for him. If he will not change get OUT, find a new lover.who will care for you more than drugs. ............ BE STRONG x

Answer 8

Tell him to quit or you'll leave. If he doesn't then leave. If you do leave him then he may open up his eyes and realise that everyone has problems but we aren't all using them as an excuse to do crack. And at least you won't have to ruin your life by picking up the pieces of someone else's mess. You are too kind and see him as a victim of circumstance. Really he is a victim of his own stupidity. Did he honestly think that doing crack would bring his family members back or make his life better?

Answer 9

This has got to be a quick post but i just go to say dont listen to all those fools saying hes a loser becuase he takes drugs.

You and i both know thats not true right?

your just gonna need to be their for him and get him to cut down on the cocaine, especialy if hes doing it to supress emotions.

A therapist could help but sure enough if theirs enough love between you's you wont need one.

Take care and all the best.

Answer 10

You may have to Try and talk to him about the proble. Maybe suggest counseling. But remeber, as his addiction grows he will become more stressed and also more desperate to get his fix when he has no money. He may resort to crime, and stealing from you wont be that hard as the drugs will overide his love for you and his morals.



All i can sugest is try to get him to get professional help. And i do wish you good luck. I haterugs and drug dealers as they destroy so many good people and they would gladly kill so called "friends" if they owed them cash for drugs they had pruchased.

Answer 11

You need him to get professional help.



If he doesn't it could really pull you right down too.



Support him but make sure he is trying. If not, as hard as it seem you need to get out!



All the best.

Answer 12

Hello, Louise, from England.



I think you already know the answer to your question, don't you. I feel you are simply seeking confirmation of your feelings on the matter. I can sympathise greatly with your suffering at this time.



Louise, this relationship is going precisely nowhere. Get out while the going's good.



You deserve better - so go for it!

Answer 13

If you want to stand by him, tell him you want him to get help from professionals. If he reacts badly to this, then surely in the long run, he would be greatful if you contacted professionals to get him help. Look at it this way, if he had more money, he would most likely be taking crack most days. It's going to be hard for the both of you but it's the best for everyone. Hope this helps

Answer 14

seriously...you just need to be straight with him. tell him to get his life together or your gone. PERIOD no questions asked. tell him your not against him and you love him..want to help him etc....offer to get him into some treatment. if he declines or doesnt follow thru with it...then get away before it brings you down too. this is bad!! my mom is a drug addict and if they dont want the help there is not a thing you can do to help them. i can understand you wanting to stick by his side...and i think you should at first. but dont waste too much time cuz it may already be too late.



best of luck to you and please take my advice. you cant wait on someone to change if they have no plans to.

Answer 15

He isn't an addict if he does it only once a week. You don't need our help you need to get rid of your boyfriend. He is clearly intending to carry on using crack so there really is no basis for a relationship - he will eventually end up using it more and more.

Answer 16

You know he is a loser, get rid, move out, move on. Addicted to crack because his family all died one by one? As opposed to died all together? By that reasoning everyone whose family had died would be addicts.

Answer 17

He needs professional help. People take drugs because they are weaker than those who do not. The affection of one other human being will not sort him.

Answer 18

It will tear the both of you down. That can be a 'choice' as far that you can speak of choices when an addiction is involved. I am sorry.

Answer 19

You are incredibly stupid and naive. Ditch him now because anyone who is a crack addict is a waste of space and he WILL ruin your life.

Answer 20

well he obviously started from losing his family and as you said, that hes been alone. well i think its best if you let him know youre there for him and reassure him he has your support. so maybe he wont feel so alone. then i think you need him to agree to maybe like therapy or counseling , they know how to deal with those kinda issues

Answer 21

First of all. Is it Crack Cocaine or just Cocaine because they are two different things.



If its Crack Cocaine then i would recommend that you get him to seek help from a therapist



If its Cocaine then just get him to cut down bit by bit then get him to change it to sniffin paracetomol and then take it down to calpol and see if that works. OR try takin about 4 pro plus tablets to get him "buzzin". If these dont work just go seek help.