I'm worried that I may have Bi-Polar disorder.?

Question

For quite a while now I've been feeling up and down with my emotions with no real explainable reasons. At first I thought I was bringing it on myself, as I am a known anxiety sufferer, but it's never been so bad.

I've been happy all my life and am very tough through most situations. I've recently had a large amount of bereavements in a short amount of time but I managed to be strong through it for both myself and them. I felt sad, but was able to return to my normal life and laugh without any worries pretty quickly. It's fair to say that I have never been depressed at all at any point in my life as I maintained a fairly relaxed view on life (To just enjoy it as it comes).

I wouldn't say my current feelings are linked to it in anyway (The bereavements), so I was finding myself trying to get to the root of the problem. I have no problems in my life and have an easy and lovely life, and feel very lucky to be who I am. Then I started feeling quite depressed and unable to pick myself up like I usually do. Around the time I started getting these symptoms, I was leaving school which was quite upsetting to me, surprisingly. I look back now and realise how much I liked the comfort and routiness of it, as well as being around fun people on a daily basis.

I started to look up depression causes and symptoms, and being the anxious person I am, started to worry myself. I notice if I read something on the internet, however silly, I will find myself tending to think about it and consider it. I know what I am thinking about is irrational, but I tend to worry about it none-the-less. An example of this would be Solipsism. I read about it and at first thought it was quite silly, but interesting, I then found myself thinking about it and worrying that it may be true. I wouldn't say that it surprised me being who I am, as I will get myself worked up at the slightest symptoms of anything.

The Swine Flu for example, If I sneezed, I would be down the doctors almost straight away, I am extremely fragile when it comes to medical health. After reading several symptoms of depression and reading about everything that branches off of it, I found myself with quite a large knowledge and understanding of mental disorders, especially bi-polar disorder. Looking back, this is probably the worst thing I could've done, as I tend to (My family can testify) think I have them because I think alot about them.

This had been going on for at least 4 months and I still had no explanation why I felt the way I did. Some days I felt more positive, I regained my usual happiness and decided to deal with whatever life threw at me. At these points, I feel like I had beaten the depression and it wouldn't return for a long time. However, it would usually return the next day bit by bit. I think this is because I worry about what I have too much, but it got me thinking more about being Bi-Polar. I'm gonna list a couple symptoms of Bi-Polar disorder, and explain my personal experience.

• feeling sad and hopeless - I did feel like this, mainly because I worried that I would eventually turn insane as the way I was feeling felt irrational, I could reassure myself that I wasn't and it would calm down alot, regaining my positive thinking, but it would return at a later date.

• loss of interest in everyday activities - I did lose interest in some things, my love for physics for example has been completely diminished and was replaced by thoughts of Biology and Chemistry in an attempt to enter the medical world. But I find my interests have returned, except for physics. You could put that down to me just been a teenager and thinking about my options before I enter my A-Levels, but that's up for speculation.

• feelings of emptiness or worthlessness - I did start to question where my life was going and did feel an "emptiness". This was filled with aspirations of becoming a doctor. However, I did not feel worthless, I feel everyone has their path in life and they should follow it and take things in their stride.

• feelings of guilt and despair - I've never felt guilty, but I did have quite alot of despair. I believe this was fueled by my anxious thinking. If I read up of a sympom of something I don't want to have, I will dwell on it hoping I won't get it and almost make it a reality because I don't want to have it (If that makes sense).

• feeling pessimistic about everything - Half of the duration of this depression, I deffiantly have had terribly pessimistic thoughts, along the lines of there is no point in life in the end, as we all die. I notice when I go back to normal, I am much more happy and happy to go with the flow of things, when I start to return into my bad mood, I will find the bad in everything, such as a show ending.

• self-doubt - Sometimes I doubt I will be able to fight this thing, but more than most times I reassure myself that I am strong and can fight it and continue to live a normal life.

• difficulty sleeping and wa

Answer 1

You only described depression symptoms. You didn't say anything about mania which is on the complete other end of the scale in bipolar. You are talking just about unipolar here. When you lose interest in previous things in depression you don't substitute them with another subject!:D What are you on about there?!

Losing interest means all together. Where it matters not anymore. Not oh I don't like science anymore I'll do English!

Answer 2

Hello hon, you realise that you have a problem you can't cope with - have you spoke to your mam about it? I bet she has realised that you have been acting differently. Firstly don't get caught up on fitting into a particular syndrome like bipolar for example.People are people, and we are all different no one fits into a set box. It's psychologists that put you in them. Just let yourself feel how you feel and talk about it, then ride it out when it comes and goes. You can go to the doctors without your mon even minors have confidentiality in these cases ( there only exceptions are cases that break the law like sexual abuse, but even then they are deal with sensitively). I really think that you need professional help, your doctor can help you, all the best

Answer 3

I can't tell you if you are bipolar/manic depressive. I would suggest talking to a therapist. Sometimes there are things buried so deep inside we don't recognize that they are having an effect on our everyday life. things that are triggered by events in our lives. If that is the case the therapist will help you root them out and deal with them.



If there is a bipolar situation in play, the therapist should be able to see it and recommend a good psychiatrist to deal with the medication aspects of the disorder.

Answer 4

You can go and get tested to see if you are bi polar, but you are in a deep period of grieving for the loss of whomever in your life, you haven't quite figured out why you are here, you are unsure of things. Everything takes time and when we lose someone part of us dies and we change into someone a little different, maybe a deeper person, the difficulty sleeping is part and parcel of grieving, go to the library and get some books.

Answer 5

I just read through this quickly, but it sounds like depression, not bipolar. I wish I had more time to spend on this.



Your regular doctor can prescribe something or refer you to a psychiatrist



Good luck and God bless



Edit: I'm back. I was thinking about you. Just wanted to add that you should print out what you wrote here and let the doctor read it. Sometimes we forget things!

Answer 6

As someone else has said you have only described depressive symptoms here. If you are really worried about your mental health I would suggest going to your GP and talking to them. Manic symptoms are the complete other end of the spectrum.

Answer 7

please remember that depression is often about perception. how you view an event and how i view an event may be totally different and therefore have a differing effect on the way that we handle things. your problem may be your perception or in the case of some forms of depression........including bi polar........may be due to chemical imbalances in the brain.

the important thing to do is to seek medical help. there are therapies and drugs which may help your condition. but remember......it is about the way that YOU feel. don't be fobbed off by people telling you to.....look on the bright side........or to........think yourself lucky because of what you have.

i wish you well.

Answer 8

Have you been watching too much Eastenders lately??