2013-02-17 10:27:57 UTC
(People who have panic attacks will know how horrible and upsetting having a panic attacks is, so if you don’t get panic attacks don’t make a mean comment because it’s actually serious)
I've always been an anxious child and I've never liked change I prefer a routine and somewhere where I feel safe. I used to go and see a physiologist because I couldn't go for sleepovers because whenever I went for one I used to have terrible migraines and vomit and had to go home, after going to the psychologist it did help and I was able to go on the sleepover. I was in year 8 at the time. After the summer holidays to go into year 9 I couldn't go to school I was to nervous to go to school and I had a panic attack every morning so my mum made me go to physiologist again to see if there was any help, by the time I got hold on the philologist I found a way to fight my panic and be able to go to school but mum still thought it would be a good idea to go and see the physiologist and see what he/she thinks. I went to the philologist and they basically talked to me about my panic attacks and ways I could deal with it. It didn't really help at all I found the physiologist very patronizing and she didn't understand me at all.. The panic attacks I've been getting recently are more serious. Since Christmas I've been having really bad panic attacks. (please don’t think I'm psycho or anything but I've been having panic attacks about death like I'm worried about dying or a loved one around me dying. It all happened on Christmas night, I was getting ready for bed and all of a sudden I had a really bad panic attack, I told myself that I would be okay and I tried to sleep. But I was having a panic attack and I couldn't sleep at all. I went into my mum and dad’s bedroom and told them I was having a panic attack, (my mum and dad know about my panic attacks) Usually when I go to my mum and dad’s bedroom and talk about it the panic goes away but this panic in particular was really bad and it lead into me vomiting but then after being sick I managed to get to sleep.
The next day I felt tired, weak and upset after having a horrible night. I felt guilty for spoiling mum and dad’s Christmas (They told me not to be silly and I didn't spoil it at all) I didn't eat much that day I felt so tired and weak. Later that night when it was time to go to bed the panic kicked in again and I was worried about vomiting and not getting any sleep witch lead to me panicking and I vomited all night and had no sleep at all. My parents moved my mattress into their room because they thought it would make me panic less and be able to sleep. It worked, I did panic before going to bed but I got to sleep eventually. I then still had panic throughout the day and sometimes at night but it was loads better than it was on Christmas night and Boxing Day.
(Seeing as I go to school we had 2 weeks off after Christmas) – I'm usually prone to panic attacks when I have holiday with school. Because I have more time to think and I get these negative thoughts in my head and start to panic. I'm much better when I'm doing something to distract me from my panic attacks that’s why I love school so much and I couldn't wait till the holidays finished so I could go back there. I feel safe at school and I have a routine because we have a timetable and I feel more comfortable when I know what I'm going to do for the day.
School started and I didn't get any panic attacks again. I was still sleeping in my mum and dad’s bedroom but at least the panic attacks went away. I've been fine but there’s been a half term for a week. The half term started on 9th of February. I was fine on the Saturday and the Sunday and had no panic attacks. I went for a walk with my mum and dad on the Monday and still no sign of the panic attacks. On Tuesday I was meant to go over to my friend’s house but I felt anxious about going to her house so I invited her over to my house instead and we had fun. On the Wednesday I went over to my friend’s house she was having a sleepover (I don’t like sleepovers so I only stay until 12:00 am). On the Thursday I didn't do much apart from do some homework and prepared a valentines meal for mum and dad. But on Friday night I felt a feeling of dread and I felt upset and I felt very anxious I talked it through with mum and dad and I was fine for the rest of the night. On Saturday night I had a little panic attack and I talked it through. I can’t explain the feeling I just feel really upset all of a sudden and start to worry about death and it leads to me having a panic attack. Is there any way to cure it? My mum has noticed that my panic attacks get worse before I'm due to be on my period. I'm going back to school tomorrow.