My husband suffers from insomnia..what are some ways to help?!?

Question

Every night he does this..." I have to be up for such and such a time ~ IF I fall asleep NOW I'll only get 5 hours sleep"..but he does THIS all night!! Clock watching I call it!! He plays the mental head game with himself and LOSES EVERY TIME!! Then when I'm HAPPILY drifting off to sleep..I get a deep LOUD sigh from his side of the bed...and an "I'm GLAD ONE OF US GETS SLEEP!!!" Then ..."are you sleeping?!" ALL NIGHT LONG!!! About 3-4 times a week...
THis wouldn't bother me..except we have two small sons and after getting the kindergartener off to school, we still have a VERY energetic 2.5 yr old..WHO doesn't nap..who will TRASH every room if I drift off to sleep.. We have the sleep aides (melentonin and tylenol pm) and we take them at night time..I need to because I can fall asleep NO problem..BUT if I wake up..I can't fall back to sleep for SEVERAL hours!!
He has NO problem NAPPING...cause of course..I'm up watching the boys...CAN someone help?! PLEASE!(we've tried sex too!)

Answer 1

Top Ten Tips For Beating Insomnia



1. If you have an alarm clock with a large bright display, place it out of sight. The last thing you need when trying to sleep is a constant reminder of how late it is - stressing over being awake will keep you awake!



2. Eliminate as much light as possible, including light from alarm clocks and vcr panels.



3. If your sleep is interrupted by outside sounds, try masking them with the sound of an air fan, a radio tuned to static or by using a white noise machine.



4. Keep a moderate ambient temperature - if it's too hot or cold your body won't want to relax



5. Avoid stimulants such as caffeine, nicotine or alcohol. It's best to abstain from these altogether but if you can't then try to avoid them before late afternoon/ early evening.



6. Even if you're tired during the day don't take naps as this will it make it harder for you to get to sleep at night.



7. Don't exercise too close to bedtime (at least 3 hours) as your body needs time to wind down and will keep your mind awake.



8. Adopt a 'going to bed' routine, a ritual that signals your brain that the day is ending and it's time to shut down. Don't do any work or any puzzle-solving during this ritual.



9. Only use your bed for sleep or sex. Don't fill your bedroom with computers, tvs or anything not to do with restful activities.



10. If you haven't dropped off to sleep within half an hour, don't lay there stressing over it. Get up and do something relaxing until you feel sleepy.

Answer 2

It sounds like he has his days and nights mixed up. He needs to stay awake during the day time and go to bed the same time every night and wake up the same time every morning. This will help turn his body and mind around.



Has your husband seen a doctor for his insomnia? Insomnia can be caused by so many things, like stress and other physical problems as well. He really should be seen by a doctor as well and get checked out. He may have an underlying physical problem that neither one of you realize.



Does your husband take any medications? Or drink a lot of caffeinated drinks such as coffee, tea or soda? Caffeine bothers many people, especially after 5 or 6 at night. Perhaps he should watch his caffeine intake as well. Does your husband smoke? Sometimes a cig before bed causes people not to sleep. All these possibilities plus a good check up is in order. If nothing is physically wrong, then the first above paragraph should help you both.



In the meantime, you need to buy yourself a pair of inexpensive foam ear plugs. This way you won't hear him do his loud talking or loud sighing. However this may not be too practical since you have two small children. You decide that one. Or maybe you could give him some "ground rules". Tell him to come to bed with you when he is sleepy and tired enough to get some rest. Otherwise he is to stay in the livingroom and watch t.v. or something. That way you can get your rest and he won't bother you.



Good luck to you and I hope the two of you feel much better soon!

Answer 3

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Answer 4

I don't think separating is the right thing to do. When the chips are down and it feels like the world is coming to get you - that's when you circle the wagons and stick together. He is in pain (been there) and drowning in self-pity (been there too). It sounds like the majority of your (both or=f yours) are related to money, the recession, etc. Don't let that be the reason it all falls apart. You may be apart for now...He may think that he is saving you from the disaster he feels responsible for. The problems will work themselves out-they have no other choice. He's working himself out of the hole. That's how you do it. it may take a few years but he'll get right-side up again. Once he does - he will realize what he did sending you away - that will be the final disaster -he will realize then that all the other stuff - was just stuff and giving up you and the family you had together was the worst decision he ever made. So - what to do. Be there for him. Don't give up . Don't divorce. Stay together however you can. Even if he says he doesn't want you together - he does. Once things begin to return to whatever the new normal becomes - he will appreciate that you didn't give up on him. Don't let his Pride - because that is probably what has been damaged the most - be the end of what you have. Good Luck

Answer 5

First, stop that Tylenol PM right now, that can cause some serious problems for you, I am talking about health wise, not addiction.



Look at his diet, does he eat all the wrong foods and drink a gallon of coffee during the day? Ask him how much coffee or other caffienated drinks he downs daily. Bad diet can affect your sleep and overall health.



Next, tell him to stop interrupting your sleep just because he's not getting any, how selfish. And then you allow him to nap? That's part of the problem right there, if he naps for more than 20 minutes at noon. If he does this when he gets home, he is messing up his sleep cycle.



He obviously is a type A and needs some biofeed back/behavior modification to get him off this stressful nutty path that he has put himself on.



Two things; see a naturopath for some suppliments and get him into a stress reduction program. Also, if that doesn't work, he needs to see a Sleep Center to be evaluated. But my guess is he is just stressing himself out and needs to learn how to chill. Obviously he has his priorities backwards and now it's biting him big time.



Also, take some parenting classes on curbing the behavior of the kids that trash the house. No matter what age, they should never be allowed to do that.

Answer 6

Sarah Liz8 has a good list and covers all the bases that I know of. Big ones: no naps; no clock to watch; up and read (Grant's Memoirs of the Civil War does it for me) in another room until sleepy after half hour of tossing and turning. If he just lays there with his eyes closed and can watch the pattern of light from his optic nerve or imagine a dream without any sense to it, he could drift off to sleep. If he has a dream have him try to re-enter it and follow its course. Being still with ones eyes closed and not trying to solve problems provides considerable rest.



Sex is nature's soporific (sleep aid) if it can relax you—there is growing tension between the two of you that might make this less loving and less effective. Thing also have to be tense with his needing to work two jobs. Counseling might be worth considering. Also a physician might prescribe 10 days worth of sleeping pills to be taken when actually ready to get in bed just to re-establish a sleeping pattern. The long term use of sleeping pills is definitely a bad idea.



There is an OTC product 5HTP at the 50mg dose which seems to ease people back into sleep if awakened.



Good luck!

Answer 7

Don't ever take the sleeping pills route!!



1. They will damage your liver big time and you can get into serious health problems.



2. You will get hooked up on them and you won't be able to have a normal life any more if you don't take your pills everyday.



The sleeping pills industry is damaging our health by capitalizing on our ignorance, and by distracting people from effective and natural ways to deal with this problem. I had been taking prescription sleep medications [Ambien] for over 5 years. It stopped working and I simply took more. Still did not work. Nights were very difficult - medication put me to sleep but I would wake up after 2–3 hours with a strong sympathetic response (fast pulse, pounding heartbeat, wide awake alert). It was a very difficult cycle to break. I was really in bad shape due to lack of sleep.



After years of struggling I was able to cure my insomnia naturally and pretty fast. I followed the Sleep Tracks sleep optimization program, here is their official web -site if you want to take a look: http://www.insomniacure.net



Ohhh..and Good Luck!

Answer 8

You have the answer in your child. Notice how well your kid sleeps? You need to coach your husband to become like his kid---lite hearted and fun loving and he will sleep way better. Insomnia comes from a lack of peace reserves that kids have and adults need to spend time watching a great movie like Shrek many times--like kids do. And collect funny greeting cards and jokes. Think like a kid and he will sleep like a kid--and this is a fun process. I sure wish I had a kid 2 years old. You are very lucky as kids are naturally a blast and help adults get over themselves.

Answer 9

Try this:

The idea is to tone down mind and body activities hours before sleep so you will get to sleep easier...

Some useful steps:

1. Drink less coffee, tea or any other drinks that contain caffeine, especially after later part of afternoon.

2. Try going to bed at the same time every night.

3. Avoid alcoholic drinks after evening time as alcoholic drinks may cause early morning wakefulness and may wake you up after your sleep.

4. Ensure your sleeping environment is suitable for sleeping (not too noisy, not too bright, not too cold, bed not uncomfortable)

5. Avoid heavy meals hours prior to sleep.

6. Stop all mind-stimulating activities 1 hour before going to bed (activities like reading research papers, reading mystery solving books, doing your school work, solving a complicated Maths question, watching your computer, watching TV, etc)

7. Half an hour before bed, take a warm bath. Then drink a cup of WARM milk.

8. As you lie on bed, take a deep breath and as you breath out, slowly, imagine you have abandoned your body. Imagine that your body slowly 'sinks' into your bed and become 'blended' into the bed. As you are imagining, take another deep breath and count 1. * As you breath out, slowly, now imagine your body is like water ripples spreading out, slowly. Take deep breath again and count 2 and repeat the process (from the place i marked with a *). Start counting from 1 again when you reach 9 or any number you prefer...

Hope this help. Email me if you have queries.

Answer 10

Insomnia (sleeplessness) is due to stress, dietary and medical

problems. By making small lifestyle changes like having a fixed

daily routine, relaxing and eating properly, insomnia can be

cured. I found the information at http://tinyurl.com/jfzpz useful

for getting sleep.

Answer 11

Wow, this makes me tired just reading about it. You poor guys. I am so sorry. I think you ought to really go together to a good counselor that you like and start to talk about all of this. Counselors are not just for people who are standing on bridges about to jump, they are a big help to couples who are trying to sort out some unexpected challenges. Like this. And my guess is that there are now lots and lots of different things wrapped up in this pattern. It is impacting your life on every level. So you both need and deserve some objective help. Please take him with you and try this. If you can get to the heart of what is causing all of this, it will start to calm down, go away, and you will both rest a lot easier!

Answer 12

I think it may be the fact that from the 2 jobs thing he is not getting any time to wind down, everyone needs a little relax time before going to bed, I have had the same thing happen to me when i would pull double shifts, I just couldt make myself go to sleep immediatly, Good luc with this problem.

Answer 13

no pillows unless it's for good

since it's not - try talking (over the little ones) about his day

bear in mind that God blessed women with the backbone to keep the family together, juggling different hats to please everyone all the times

yep that's our job

sweetie, daily stress is not specific with gender

maybe your husband wants to vent about his day (like we do) but for some reason can't or won't

it's up to you to get inside

if you don't (or won't) he'll do something stupid because he's a man

need i say more?

show yourself strong and "make room for daddy"

no matter the cost because if you love him...it's worth it

Answer 14

Don't let him nap keep him up all day and when night comes he will be so tierd he will sleep at night

Answer 15

Try a hammer or sleeping gas...or even arsenic.





Just kidding don't really try it!