How to tell your educated "boss" he or she may have a personality disorder?

Question

Being the primarily responsible person for a small practice, many staff members have come to me with concerns of another md owner. several outbursts, possible questionable diagnosis, never knowing which "personality" you will deal with on any given day, etc...seriously questionable for anxiety, depression and/or other personality disorder...how does one tactfully tell this person the concerns without defensive remarks, denial, and possible termination?

Answer 1

Find a new job, *then* tell him.

Answer 2

You mean YOUR educated "EX-boss"??? If your boss owns the practice...this isn't likely to go over well. Someone is likely to leave ...and it will not be the boss! If you confront...you will be the one labeled "personality disorder".



If there is a partner M.D. ...they would have a better chance of speaking to the person in question (privately). There are a million variables for what you describe. If this is a "new behavior"... it isn't a "personality disorder". Personality disorders are established behaviors. Something really seriously wrong is a possibility. It really has to be looked at by professional. Without being patronizing... be supportive and tolerant in your work role. I would be looking for another job... so you don't go down with the ship captain.



If it was a company... the company has an obligation to maintain and provide a safe, comfortable, work environment for employees. In that case, a human resource department would have an obligation and policies in place to evaluate and address issues. You are pretty much left with looking for another job.



The possible questionable diagnosis??? He/she is practicing on his/her license... not yours. (Something to think about). I am just giving you reality. Not life as it should be.

Answer 3

Use the misdiagnoses (if there are any, you only say possible questionable diagnoses, but that should get someone's attention) to report to the state licensing board. They will probably be able to see the underlying personality disorders upon investigation.



Or if all the staff leave and find other jobs, maybe the sane owners will get the hint and confront the mentally ill person. Nobody needs to put up with abuse in the workplace. You should all look for other jobs. And contact some state agency, the newspaper, the local TV station, whoever will listen, before a possible questionable diagnosis costs a patient his/her life. Do not delay.

Answer 4

I think I would have a meeting and get all the staff together to talk to this person. The person is naturally going to become defensive...wouldnt you? Maybe there is something going on in the boss's home life? I would start with the words..." We have all been concerned about you". This will open the conversation up and maybe the boss will realize that there is a problem.

Answer 5

DO you work in my office?! Hooray! Someone is finally brave enough to go in there and have this conversation!



Suggestion as to what to say: ": Well, how do you think things are going in the office? Morale wise? ...Hmmm....really. Interesting. Well, I ask because, well, frankly, there has been some discomfort among a good number of the staff, and it involves you. Now, I am not sure what is going on with you, and your personal business is your business, but when it starts to effect the work environment, it becomes our business to let you know. And you need to find some assistance with your approach to people" then mention....blah blah examples of issues like temper but don't mention specifics.....and then offer him the name of an Employee Assistance Program or a recommend a few counseling services and tell him that you expect to see results soon, set a date to check back instead of letting it slide off the table, or you will have to take some other sort of action to improve the work environment.



And if you do this, you will be our hero.



Too bad that you probably work on the other side of the country .

Answer 6

Try not to sound your bigger than the person try to act like a small, yet friendly to him / her. That is one step.



Then try to talk about what he or she thinks about the situations where he gets an outburst. Afterwards, try to see if the conversation is going somewhere and try to keep it at the same level without elevating it. HOWEVER, if he says something relating to, "Who are you questioning your boss" just say that you are just trying to help and trying to make things work more efficiency. Talking about having best efficiency and not just saying what should be done which should be explained why its the best way of doing things will give a better understanding.

Answer 7

That's a tough one, but he should really be told since he could hurt or even kill someone.



Is there anyone in the practice that is close to him that could have a serious talk?



They need specific examples. It could be a relatively minor problem that could be controlled with medication, or he may be going through some personal crisis.

Answer 8

We have a person like this in my office. My boss has just had to sit her down and tell her that her moodiness needs to be left at home or she cannot continue with the company because it's severely affecting the work of others.

Answer 9

one of my bosses is like that and I just had to tell him. One minute he was playing and joking and then the next he was hollaring at the employees infront of customers, but he recently caught me on the wrong day and he yelled one time and just flat told him he needed to stop coming to work hungover and that he is bi polar! Our Big boss I thought was going to have a problem with it but apparently since others had mentioned it. It was actually a load off for others that some1 told him.

Answer 10

In my company this situation is handled by a HR couselling session with subjects one-on-one. This is a follow-up of a 360 deg evaluation where in the "boss" is highlighted for such undesired behaviour.



If it doesnt help, corporate physchiatrists help a lot.

Answer 11

start by saying ur best friend growing up had a personality disorder, and once they saw a dr. about it, it really helped, and they were so much happier and satisfied w/ their life. if ur close w/ the boss or are someone they trust, it'll be fine. good luck! just take it slow, it's prolly reallly hard to hear something like that.

Answer 12

that is quite hard because first of all that person is your boss.

i advise you not to do it yourself. instead. a better way perhaps

is to let people outside your professions to talk to your boss about it.

an ideal person would be a close relation to your boss. you should tell that

person that many people think that your boss has a problem.

Answer 13

you get paid for doing your job and anybody with brains would never do such a stupid thing. you are no shrink, just a person that got a job offer to work. so work and stop trying to be something that is none of your damn business. if you cannot blend in and do your work, maybe you should start looking for another job that you can handle.

Answer 14

You don't.... especially if he is an MD and you are not. He is far more qualified to diagnose mental illness than you are.



You *could*; however, have another MD talk to him.



If I were you, I'd take the hands-off approach. I can't see anything good coming from it.

Answer 15

Don't...talk it over with your Human Resources person and have them talk to this person. That way this person won't know who is thinking this and can't lash out on any one person. Because honestly there is no "nice" way of telling someone they have a problem. They will get defensive.

Answer 16

You don't....find another position somewhere else. Sounds like bi-polar, manic-depressive to me. I was married to one for 14 years (yes, I am a saint according to his psychiatrist who said he is a classic case!). They often self-medicate and do not listen to other people telling them they have a chemical imbalance. I wish I had more optimistic advice for you.....

Answer 17

That is what makes him the boss. Many leaders are like that sadly. If you do value your job though, I think you should probably keep your comments to yourself.

Answer 18

Safer to report concerns to the medical bureau (esp. about the questionable diagnosis), but if the boss doctor finds out that you did it, then you are screwed.

Answer 19

You absolutely don't. It's unfortunate, but true. If you do - you'll probably be looking for a new job soon after. If you don't - you'll probably be looking for a new job soon after.



The only difference is you might get a reference out of it if you don't say anything.

Answer 20

tough one, i dont think that there is a way to do it without reprimands, you cant just tell the boss that he/she is crazy.

Answer 21

boss, you got a personality disorder

Answer 22

do it the day before you quit haha

Answer 23

bad idea

Answer 24

Go to his face and scream "Queer!"

Answer 25

You just don't!

Answer 26

you dont

Answer 27

just tell her or him