does having bi-polar disorder cause you to forget things?

Question

hi everyone, im 16 and my parents are divorcing. growing up my mom swore up and down that she did NOT have bi-polar disorder. just recently she got diagnosed with it. when i was a little younger she would beat me, say mean things, and try her best to put me down. although i havent forgiven her yet, i dont mind talking about it with her around. i have calmly tried to bring up times when she would hit me and she doesnt remember them...not at all. she tries to tell me im wrong, but its hard for me to forget those moments because theyve mentally scarred me. my question is is this part of being bi-polar, or is my mom faking all this? my mom acts like an extremely immature 13 year old, its hard to reason with her and so i just end the converstaion right there. thanks for anyone who can help :D

Answer 1

People can tend to "remember" things differently than the way they actually happened, especially if the memories aren't good ones or ones that put them in a bad position.It can be called selective memory and is really a form of denial. She may really not remember the things that you bring up because she has convinced herself that it just didn't happen because of the guilt she feels about the past. Probably best for you to let the past go, you won't "win" any arguments with her about this . Talking about it with her around implies that you are talking to someone else in front of your mom about situations that are best kept within the privacy of your home and although it doesn't bother you I'll bet it does bother her so it might be helpful to not try to get your "digs" in and be the mature one in trying to get past this. I'm not telling you what to do here just offering suggestions to help..remeber this is a medical condition that she is dealing with and she doesn't always have control over her emotions... just like a 13 year old. I live with someone who is bi-polar too and I know that it's not easy sometimes.The best of luck to you and I hope this helps even just a little.

Answer 2

Your mom sounds troubled. I believe she's saying she has never hit you b/c she's in denial over what a bad parent she is and she is not ready to face what she did, so she is wants to just say, I never hit you, ever. i say this b/c my mom abandoned me at birth and she denies it to this day. she is also bi-polar. she doesnt want to own up to anything bad she has ever done.



Parents are not perfect people, no, but it sounds like you should stick closer to your dad at this point since your mom has some issues to work through.



Beyond bi polar disorder, parents make up excuses for why they did or didnt do something and they lie sometimes too. My dad lived w/a woman (who he wasnt marrried to, and she wasnt my mom either.) for 11 years, and when i turned 21 and moved out of the house w/my boyfriend, he was upset at me for "shacking up". Um, what was he doing for 11 years? What kind of example did he think he was setting for me? i mean, this woman lived w/us since i was 4 years old,



I am getting off topic but I am just saying parents make excuses for why they do what they do, they lie sometimes, and in the case of bi polar disorders, theyre definitely not stable. I think you should handle the relationship w/your mom very carefully and see if you can go live w/another family member it at all possible. you need somebody to talk to about all this. See if theres anybody else in your family you can confidentially talk to, or maybe a counselor or teacher at school. you need to get this off your chest, not let it build up and hurt you. you must let out those negative feelings and look for positive role models so you can move towards a brighter future. You can do it, I know you can.

Answer 3

Being Bi-polar just means that your moods are constantly a rollercoaster. One minute you can be screaming and yelling and the next be totally happy and calm. If she doesnt remember doing it there could be other disorders she may have.

Answer 4

so are you 13 or 16 not that it matters but you gave 2 different ages & i was just curious why~what she[your mom] was experiencing during your attacks was her in a manic phase & she may not remember her actions while unmedicated~i once knew a woman that went through a manic phase that was about 9 months & when she came back she realized she was married~so maybe she is for real when she tells you that~it does not excuse the point of her verbal & physical abuse she bestowed on you~and as far as mature 13 y o I certainly never met any♦