How can I overcome my shyness?

Question

How can I overcome my shyness?

Answer 1

Get a job working with the public. It helped me a lot :o)

Answer 2

I was really shy for a *long* time. Mainly because I have a hard time thinking on my feet when in a conversation. I'm not witty on the go, even though I can write witty material (you can take your time after all). I oddly enough found that through having a management role on an IRC network, I realized and learned, I'm never going to meet these people. It didn't matter if I told them where to stick it when they deserved to be told so, they weren't going to beat down my door and clench their fists, wave them in the air, scream back at me and go home. That's an expensive frustration fit. Knowing this helped me be freer with those around me and I became more outgoing. When I become depressed I notice I become shy again. When my depression dissappears, I become outgoing and talkative and I'm better at thinking on my feet again. Best thing I can suggest is join a theater group; or if you aren't ready for that, try role playing online. (AOL used to have some rp groups, and I know City of Heroes/Villians has RP groups, Everquest/Everquest II, World of Warcraft - all have RP groups and servers, they are MMORPG games. And these helped me become comfortable in my own skin and my vivid imagination). Being in theater for four years of high school (and some other summer productions with local groups) - that helped me a lot. Not only was I faced with my shyness and learning how to *belt* my voice so a large auditorium full of people could hear me speak, but I no longer had a mousey voice that crackled with uncertainty and lack of self-esteem as I talked. My voice became stronger and it sounded as if I had all the certainty and esteem in the world standing behind it. I moved to backstage, and learned the ropes to management type positions like Assistant Director and Stage Manager, and these also helped in overcoming my shyness, even behind the scenes. I was responsible for making critical decisions during tournaments when time was running out and our play had five more minutes left, but the time of the tournament only allowed one more minute or disqualification.



I can empathize with your situation. Having shyness always made me feel like I was outside a group looking in, regardless of how I was treated. As I overcame it, I began to see myself on the inside looking out. And knowing your accepted is a great feeling, something my shyness kept me from feeling for a long time. Being a military brat prolly didn't help (we moved *a lot*) I still have trouble making friends without the fear of losing them again. But I guess I realized that it was okay to lose them after a while. It was part of growth. The friends that stick around will make that effort to remain close even if you do move away. And those were the ones that became important to me as my shyness lifted.



I hope some of these suggestions helped. =) My apologies this was so long (I can't write less than a paragraph - *ever*!)

Answer 3

Remember other people feel the same way even if it doesn't look like it. Lots and lots of people feel shy.

Apparently Mark Twain said,

"Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth."

which is dead easy when you're on your own, but not so easy when other's are around!

I really know that sense of awkwardness and fear of making a fool of yourself, plus the thing about not knowing what to say.....

ummm... but so what? People do silly things, put their foot in it, not know the right thing to say. It doesn't matter - you're not doing it on purpose and people understand that. Much, much worse are the people who are mean and calculating, who couldn't give a damn about how others feel.

Just be yourself. Next time you really want to say something take the plunge and remember the world won't end if it doesn't come out quite how you wished it would. My mum always said people are far too busy worrying about how they appear to be worried about how you appear - and she had a good point!

Keep practicing a little bit at a time - there's no rush. I promise you it gets easier over time. At one time I was too scared to open my mouth in public, nowadays I teach - which means I have to open my mouth in public! (That didn't happen overnight of course.) Good luck and keep chipping away at it. After all, you have as much right as anyone else to be ok with who you are.

Answer 4

Talk to people..don't be afraid to talk about your opinions and stuff. If you have something in mind, speak up about it..maybe the other person is thinking the same thing..you both may have the same intrests but may just be scared to talk...Think of it this way, if you talk then you may end up making friends and enjoying yourself, ALTHOUGH if you just stand there you may end up looking foolish (since you aren't speaking) and you might not enjoy your day or make any friends..its definetly better than being bored..AND most people will probably want to listen to you..but you gotta speak up first! :D



You might be shy because you don't know the person and therefore aren't comfortable with them...if that's the case, get to know the other person by asking general questions.."Hi, How are you?" "What's your name?" and so on...



All in all, relax and let the words flow out of you mouth...don't hold yourself back! Hope that helped!



Good Luck! :D

Answer 5

You need to confront it head on. In other words, force yourself to be more open with new people even if it requires being a bit artificial at first (putting on a face). It will be difficult, but over time you'll adjust and realize you're not as shy anymore. You'll hear a lot of other advice, but the fact is, you'll always be shy unless you push yourself in social situations more than what you feel naturally inclined to do.



I like the first answer about getting a job that forces you to interact more with people. You'll be more likely to force yourself out of your shell more if your job and paycheck requires it! :-)

Answer 6

A drug or being with another person may take away your shyness.

Shy people, or people with social anxiety are no better or worse then someone who is not shy.

It takes a whole lot of different kinds of people to make up a whole world.

Answer 7

recognize that despite your fears of people, meeting people and talking to them won't make you die.



start meeting people. Make sure that every day you say hello to a stranger. Some times it will go well, some times it won't. Reward yourself for the effort, not whether it went well or not.



The point is that by meeting people over and over and over, your anxiety about meeting people will decline because it's something you are used to doing. Practice makes it better.

Answer 8

Just start saying "hi" to people. Maybe join a club or find a group that shares the same interest. When you take one step outside that box the others will be easier. :)

Answer 9

this may sound hasty but be the most unshy person do everything that you might be shy about doing go out and be the most outgoing person you can be. it may be scary but just dive head first into the terror of being outgoing. it helps. it will make you not shy and less afraid.

Answer 10

realize that even if she says no, it's not the end of the world.