What is wrong with me??

Question

I had depression since last year and through to arpil 06.
I had to pretend i was ok form that point because my mum and nan thought i was faking it. I had counselling appointments for about 6 months, and i had to stop them because i could deal with my mum and nan.
Now i am feeling really bad and wish i kept going to the appointmetns. I have paranoia, i am feeling really down, hate the way i look, hate everything about myself.
I cant go and see my doctor because he wont put me on medication and i cant have another counselling appointment because i have to pay for them unless my mum knows, which i cant tell her.
Im in a real mess here, i dont know what to do.
If anyone has any advice please help me.

And please dont ramble on about religion. If god was real he would have helped me.

Answer 1

I would suggest you try and see another doctor. Your doctor has no right to refuse to give you medication. I have suffered form depression myself and it was one of the worst experience's of my life. I felt nothing, i was empty nothing held any joy for me. I didn't want to be here, I just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. It took me a long time to admit that there was something wrong with me.



I got prescribed medication and it helped me, it doesn't work over night that's the only problem. It took me 5-6 weeks before I started to feel a little better and after that ever day I started to get more and more positive until I was like my old self. I was also worried about taking the medication as i had heard people saying not to take it and that it was addictive and all sorts of other things. But I took it and had absolutely no problems while on it or after I stopped taking it, so to me it was worth it.



See a different doctor there is help out there and everyone is entitled to it.If no one will still help you I would go to a different practice or make an official complaint. I know some doctor don't like to prescribe medication for depression, they don't see it as being a real illness. Depression isn't something you can shake yourself out of, people that haven't suffered from it don't understand that it's not that simple.



I just want you to know that you can be helped I'm living proof of that, things can get better and your life can go back to the way it use to be. I really hope this helps and I hope you get the help you need. Take care of yourself. Just remember your NOT alone, depression is more common than you think. Its a fact that 1 in 3 will suffer from depression at some point in their life.



You say you can't go back to the doctor as your mum would have to know. I would try and speak to a councellor at school or do you have a close friend that could possibly talk to. There is also some helplines you could call like The Samaritans.



Here are some links for sites about depression that may also help you and maybe give you some possible solutions.



http://www.depression.com/

http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/depression1.shtml

Answer 2

First of all, 16 qualifies you as an adult for your doctor, so you are not only free to make your own appointments and attend them alone, they are not permitted to disclose to your mum what you have said (Have you heard the term "Doctor-patient confidentiality).



There is good cause that they are not prescribing any medicines, in that anti-depressants can lead to addiction on them, or a dependence. If you get addicted to them, then your even worse off than you were.



You should go back to see your doctor, and explain that you still feel bad, and explain the conditions as you have prescribed. Believe it or not, they know how the body works, they have spent 6 years studying it, and the related princibles.



A councillor is the best person to talk to as they know the workings of the mind, and you can probably find there is government supported Psychologists out there who can talk to you if it comes to it.



Depression is really horrible to deal with, and I think it's even worse on your own. There is no-one you should trust more than your mother. They are there for you, they can support you when you need it, and you want to be as close as possible. I know that teenagers can see it as uncool, or that there parents know nothing, but that is sadly mistaken. Talk to your mum, explain that you really need her support here, and that you don't know who to turn to.



If they say youre faking it, then state you are serious, and that this is a major issue to deal with. If they then still don't want to help you (I am worried at that thought), just go on and speak to your doctor etc, and ignore them. If that happens, there may be another issue here, but thats a different thing.



Keep your chin up. Depression is more common than you think, and lots of people get through it.

Answer 3

Because alot of people think that everything a teenager does is for attention. You speak up about something bad at school..It's for attention... You cry...It's for attention. Such utter bullcrap, eh? Even now, with all the pills for depression, and knowledge of teenage depression specifically, older people will still believe that teenagers have no pressure on them, and therefore can't be utterly upset and downright miserable with life. It can happen to anyone, no matter what age. There's nothing "wrong" with you, other than people not believing you, and the doctors not listening to you and trying different meds. Low self esteem is very common, and is made worse when you don't have a sympathetic ear, let alone one that will listen at all. Find a different doctor, and confront your parents about it... Explain that you have nothing to gain by being an attention seeker, and that your doctor is being biased by just assuming you're faking... Good luck! I had a problem similar to this about a year ago, and I understand...

Answer 4

We all have these problems to some degree, and you sound as if you need to occupy yourself and teach yourself some positive cognitive tricks to feel better about the way you look. Your mum and nan won't be around for ever so don't worry about what they think, although I don't know what the problem is with them knowing. any how, you also sound as if you might be creative, as people with paranoia usually are. Are you artistic at all? If not you should consider taking up some sort of artisitis pursuit or hobby. I hope you can grow to like yourself more. I used to hate the way I looked, and now 20 years on I look at my old photos and realise that I was OK! Think about your future if you can, and remember pick things about yourself that are OK and focus on them.

Answer 5

Does your school have a counsellor? If so, make an appointment to see him/her. Or you may have a youth counselling service in your area, your local library should have a list of local counselling agencies. Many of them are free, so it's worth finding out what is available.



It sounds like your mum and nan don't understand what depression is. If you really can't talk to them, do you have an understanding aunt or other adult relative you could talk to. It is really important you get the right sort of support. If you feel really down, ring the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 or visit their website http://www.samaritans.org/



Good luck.

Answer 6

If you are still at school try talking to a teacher or mentor there..my daughter had some similar problems though thankfully she could talk to us about it all and her school were very supportive, organising counselling sessions at the local teen couselling centre which are free. I feel very sad to hear that you have little support from your family and this is probably why you feel so low . Without meaning to be patronising, being a teenager is full of ups and downs and hormones playing havoc with your emotions, its at times like this that you need support. Sending you cyber hugs and wishing you all the best but please please get help, if all else fails try ringing the samaritans, know its corny but they may have releavant info on call in centres for teens in your area and the call is free and condidential. Good luck

Answer 7

You want/need more concrete results than from your first councilor without fees. LouLou's suggestion of the goodsamaritian is a great choice. My group is very small but we would be delighted to help also at no cost. We looked up some foods that would improve your hormon levels and therefore reduce your stress levels. The French do not diet, rarely take meds, & walk everywhere. Diabetes is a dysfunction of hormones so do without sugar & raw honey has 2 hormone steroids that are good and safe. Raw means unheated. East peanut butter but not raw peanuts. Shrimp is a hormone food and you need protiens with fats. Turnups instead of potatoes, as potatoes with katsup. Flax seed oil & vit. B-12 will cost but don't just take vitamin pills. They can be harmful. Cook with virgin olive oil and eat olives. Rice-bran.... These are good safe and neccessary nourishment for your hormonal balances and thyroid which also plays a role in your moods. Aprocots, raw almonds, saukraut, pumpkin seeds, canned tomatoes (as unless you grow them, they haven't been kissed by the sun), watercress and drink 5 glasses a day with a bit of vinagar in it. These will aid acne and your hormones.

In order to introduce these foods to your mom's gro. list you might have to find recipies on the internet that taste good. I already like these foods but I'm not such a good cook. Salted peanuts is also good before bed as they will help you sleep.

You are doing an excellent job of expressing yourself. Write for more help, we've been mentoring for some time.

Answer 8

Greetings Daisy, My favorite cure for depression is horseback riding at a brisk trot. (laugh) in lou of not having a horse the levitators cross their legs yoga style and bounce on a mattress. The bouncing on the peanut excersize ball is not quite right for me. (as I need to land more solidly). Crazy as it sounds, the brain will float up and hit the skull gently enough to cause some reaction that is similar to laughing gas. I practiced it 30 min. at a time/day and it helped for tests and my mood. Maybe that's why cowboys are fairly laid back and happy. This doesn't cost any money. Woman we have to sometimes go to the basics on our own. You may write for more or others. This one is the best.

Answer 9

A couple of natural remedies you can take may help, such as St. Johns Wart and Omega3s. Google these along with depression to see what you can get.



Why don't you try to volunteer to help people who are even less fortunate than you; that may help you see how wonderful (and lucky) you really are.



Finally, medication doesn't fix your problems. You really need try to accept yourself; I know this is hard when the media sends those unobtainable images at us constantly. Stop looking at teen magazines.

Answer 10

i know how u feel , i think u should go and visit ur doc again, and i think u need a little bit of self confidence , look of what u have done and what u want to do in the future , to have high spirit. see what makes u happy and do it.

and daisy GOD DOES EXIST but no one take every thing . so see what u have and others can't and thank god for it and iam sure u will find alot and alot.

good luck.

Answer 11

Do you have anyone at your school you can talk to, like a teacher or counselor or principal? And why don't you take the time to be honest with yourself and your Mom? By not telling her you are not giving her a chance to help you get through this period of your life. That's what parents do, it is our job. Medication is not always the answer although it can help. You need to talk to someone...please don't wait.

Answer 12

part of what's wrong with you is that you don't feel able to talk to your mum. if that really is so difficult you should try to talk to someone, friend, teacher, workmate. you should know that your type of depression can run in families so if you could try to talk to your mum she might be much more understanding than you're giving her credit for. If talking face-to-face is too difficult, try writing it down. Be totally honest about how you feel, how you're feeling and how you really want to stop feeling this way. I hope things work out for you x

Answer 13

Thyroid disease is one of the most common health problems we face today. From a practical standpoint, there are many ways to approach this issue. Learn here https://tr.im/BgMIW



Hypothyroidism, or underactive thyroid, is a very common problem, and there are many reasons for this, including drinking chlorinated and fluoridated water, and eating brominated flour.



Chlorine, fluoride, and bromine are all in the same family as iodine, and can displace iodine in your thyroid gland.



Secondly, many people simply aren't getting enough iodine in their diet to begin with. The amount you get from iodized salt is just barely enough to prevent you from getting a goiter.

Answer 14

God doesn't give you anything more than you can handle. In the past six months my house burned down, my brother was diagnosed with cancer and my aunt was diagnosed with MS. My house is being rebuilt, my brothers tumor turned out to be benine, and they caught my aunt's MS in time that she will recover. You can handle it. It is always easy to give up.... You must fight and believe that it will all work out.

Answer 15

Maybe a psychologist? My doctor sent me to one of them and I'm on the waiting list... not sure if I have to pay or not to be honest I should have asked.

Answer 16

you sound quite young, can you talk to someone in the family about how you feel. You need to talk to someone who you can trust. dont bottle up your feelings, try going back to your gp or see another Dr at the same practice.



hope things work out for you.

Answer 17

just wake up and think positive thoughts. if anything negative tries to get in your brain immediatly think of something that makes you smile. Music works for me! Stops me thinking too much

Answer 18

Rambling about religion will definitely not help you.



If you need advise, you might not take this but ill say it anyway.



Start to have faith and you'll feel fine.



I used to hate everything about me, I almost commit suicide, I sttarted to beleive in myself and see the beauty about beleiving in everything including GOD.



God was helping you but you just failed to see it cause you dont beleive he exist.



May God Bless You!!

Answer 19

your mad if nothing is working the only thing that you can do is pray and ask the lord for guidince you pushing god a side will only bring the devil closer the devil can come in all shapes and sizes. do what you need to do for you and just have faith.

Answer 20

there must be a local teen crisis centre in your area. please phone them and get help, I'm sure they can provide whatever help is necessary.Good luck

Answer 21

nothing wrong with u .......u just relax ok.don't worry

Answer 22

First of all - I believe you and know how difficult your situation can be.



It would be helpful to know how old you are - I realize that if you are still under the roof of your parents and a minor - under 18 - then it can be incredibly difficult. Your problem is evidently intensified in terms of how you feel - due to the fact that those who are close to you do not accept yor 'illness' is real. This is common.



I do not know why you find your Doctor so unhelpful - but I am not surprised. During the last 3 years that I have been struggling with a bout of depression I have been lucky to have an understanding and helpful doctor - but I went through several befre I found someone who had the right empathy and offered support that has been helpful.



OK Daisy - I just did a quick check - and saw your post of 2 weeks back - now I see you are 16, and have additional issues that are bound to contribute to your depression. I can't tell where you live - so any advice can only be generalized - as I guess I know more about UK services than US.



It is a shame that the 'medical professionals' you have seen have done all the usual stuff and just given you a variety of chemical stuff to try and 'treat' the problem. If you have had acne problems since 8 years old then there is evidently a problem that needs resolving. This could be to do with diet or other exposure to synthetic chemicals in your day to day environment (there is an item at www.gonando.com I will link at the end of this response).



Ropaccutane is a strong treatment which is normally prescribed for difficult acne cases - but it does have side effcts - here is a quote from on credible web resource:



[QUOTE]

"...Isotretinoin can have serious side effects and its use must be supervised by a dermatologist. It is reserved for the treatment of severe acne (such as nodular or conglobate acne or acne at risk of permanent scarring) that has not improved with standard treatment involving oral antibiotics and topical medicines.



Your acne may worsen at the start of treatment, but this usually subsides within 7 to 10 days of continued treatment. In most cases, complete or near-complete clearing of acne is achieved with a 12 to 16 week course of treatment, and you are likely to remain free of acne for a long time. Repeat courses are not normally recommended, unless a definite relapse is seen after treatment is stopped. Repeat courses should not be started until at least eight weeks after stopping treatment, as your acne may still improve in this time."



MORE IMPORTANTLY the massive range of side effects are pretty awful (I guess you may have read the medicine leaflet but the resource above also includes this list of info - NOTE: Depression is a potential SIDE EFFECT read down the list:



[QUOTE]

"Warning!



Isotretinoin causes major birth defects (serious malformations of a developing foetus) if taken during pregnancy. For this reason your doctor will not prescribe the treatment to women who could get pregnant, unless the following criteria are met: At least one, but preferably two (for example the pill and condoms), effective methods of contraception must be used at all times to prevent pregnancy. Contraception must start at least four weeks before starting treatment, be used at all times during treatment and for at least four weeks after stopping treatment, even if you don't have a period. Your doctor cannot prescribe isotretinoin until you have been using effective contraception for at least a month and have had a negative pregnancy test. Your doctor is only allowed to prescribe 30 days supply of isotretinoin at a time. You will need to have a follow-up visit every month, at which you will have to have a negative pregnancy test before a new prescription can be issued. Five weeks after stopping treatment you should have a final pregnancy test to make sure you have not fallen pregnant. If you think there is a chance you could be pregnant, either during treatment, or in the first month after stopping treatment, you must consult your doctor immediately.



There is no evidence to suggest that children fathered by men who are taking isotretinoin will be affected by the medicine, but men should remember not to give this medicine to anyone, particularly females.



You should never give this medicine to another person and you should return any unused medicine to your pharmacist at the end of treatment.



People taking this medicine must not donate blood during treatment, and for at least four weeks after stopping treatment. This is due to the potential risk of the medicine to an unborn child if the blood transfusion was received by a pregnant woman.



This medicine may cause depression, anxiety, mood changes, psychotic symptoms and rarely suicide attempts. For this reason, if you start to feel depressed, or experience any other mood changes during treatment, it is important to talk to your doctor.



You should avoid exposing your skin to intense sunlight or UV light while taking this medicine. You should use a sunscreen of at least SPF 15 when necessary.



Isotretinoin is likely to make your skin and lips very dry, so it is recommended that you use a moisturiser and lip balm from the start of treatment.



You should avoid waxing any part of your body while taking isotretinoin, and for at least six months after stopping treatment, as this could cause stripping of the top layer of skin. Chemical dermabrasion and cutaneous laser treatment should also be avoided during treatment with isotretinoin and for five to six months after stopping treatment, as this could cause scarring.



Isotretinoin can make your eyes dry. This can be relieved with artificial tear drops. Ask your doctor or pharmacist for advice. If you wear contact lenses you may find that they become uncomfortable during treatment and you have to wear glasses instead. Decreased night vision may also occur during treatment and after treatment has been stopped, and can occur suddenly. For this reason you are advised to be cautious when driving or operating any vehicle at night. If you experience any visual difficulties, inform your doctor so that your vision can be monitored. It may sometimes be necessary to stop treatment.



You will need to have a blood test to monitor your liver function before you start treatment with this medicine, one month after starting and then at further three-monthly intervals.



The amount of lipids (fats such as cholesterol) in your blood should also be monitored before treatment, one month after starting treatment and at three-monthly intervals. If your blood level of triglycerides becomes too high, your isotretinoin dose may need to be reduced and you may have to go on a low fat diet. If your triglycerides cannot be controlled, you may have to stop treatment with isotretinoin.



This medicine may increase your blood sugar level. People with diabetes may need to monitor their blood sugar more frequently during treatment with this medicine. Ask your doctor for advice.



If you experience severe bloody diarrhoea during treatment with this medicine you should stop taking it and consult your doctor immediately.



This medicine is not recommended for children under 12 years of age."

[QUOTE ENDS]



THIS MEANS you may well be unsuited to this medication - especially if struggling with undiagnosed/untreated depression up til taking this medicine - which is evidentally making things worse. ADDED - AS ADVISED ABOVE YOU MUST TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT THE PROBLEM IF YOU ARE STILL ON ROACCUTANE. SHOW YOUR MUM THE MEDICINAL SIDE EFFECT INFORMATION.



There is also an articcle at http://www.gonando.com about acne - which gives a simple program that could help at least to provide some ideas about whether or not you are currently doing all you can to avoid making your acne worse.



You DEFINITELY need to find someone to talk to - and if you confirm your location (US, UK or other - country only if you prefer, State or County would be helpful - I will add further advice here or via email.