pull yourself together - suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. gosh only 36 girls turned you down? my goodness. The problem is you let little stuff destroy your confidence. You don't have to be approved of to be ok, and you don't have to perform to be ok. You are ok just being you - and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
Ok your parents are dissapointed, so, ok.. let them express their disappointment buty ou dont have to turn on yourself.
ok a girl rejects you - well quit seeking their approval. - once you are ok with you being you you'll do better with girls. that means you haven't found the right one yet. I didn't meet the right girl until I was 28 and it wasn't from lack of trying either. They weren't right for me and Valerie was. God knows who is right for you. Trust Him. Tell Him your struggles.
Get exercise, sleep, and good nutrition, get sunlight - go outside, enjoy yourself. Enjoy every day you have.
get rid of negative thinking - which is why you are where you are. You need to affirm yourself , and think how you want to be and not necessarily how you are. Ok so what you are this or that - you dont' have to always be that way. right? Focus on others and listen to what they are saying, but you don't have to take it so hard. Just allow them to express themselves.
You need to be ok in your own skin - with or without a girl. A girl will find you more appealing if she can't break you by disapproving of you anyway. So , she doesn't approve of you, so?
you need to develop a confident , capable self image in the worst way.
Everyone will tell you you need psychiatric help - well I say to be aware of this - try to do the best you can without doing that, but if you need to then do it. My concern is that once you get psychiatric help then you are labeled mentally ill and then you have to bear teh weight of being mentally ill and the doctors will keep you on pills all your life and you dont' need that.
maybe just take a deep breath - pray - ask God for help. One day at a time. Ok today is hard, but tomorrow will be better. Be an optimist. It's gotten me through many trials.
It isn't how many times you get knocked down that counts, it's how many times YOU GET BACK UP.
Be tough, be a man,
and as God would say
Stand up and gird u p your loins like a man -
Be strong in the Lord and in the POWER of HIS MIGHT (not your strength but HIS) -
He is able to deliver you. You can't do it, but HE CAN.
you need to find your own contentment, and not base it on everything around you or you will be unhappy forever.
don't compare yourself with others just with yourself.
what you say is what you get - how are you talking? are you saying things that are negative? already you are talking about killing yourself - do you have any idea how powerful your words are?
By the time I was your age I had already been tortured - I lived through it. and you can make it through this too - but I never wanted to kill myself. I was determined to make it one way or another.
Go talk to some 100 year olds, and listen to their story - and listen to their suffering.
But they made it that far..
Go talk to some POW's and listen.
people suffer. it's part of life. But you can make it and rise above it all.
it's all part of making you who you n eed to become.
you are a young man, be a man. you don't have to remain a boy - grow up and be a man.