Should I be concerned about his behavior? (Advice please) TIA?

Question

My son has been making a lot of comments about strange thoughts that he's been having. Twice today he's told me that he just felt like grabbing something to quote "hurt" himself with. He says it jokingly like he was just bored and that was the first thing that came to mind.

Aside from a few accidental scrapes and burns he hasn't done anything to deliberately hurt himself as far as his father and I are aware. Still this little comments/jokes about, "do you ever have an urge to just using a pin to stab yourself, nick the tip of his finger with a razor, staple your wrists etc." this is the type of things he comes up with.

Part of me wants to believe he's just being a teenager with a wild imagination and very bad ideas to quench his boredom as my husband puts it. The other part of me is concerned that he's even thinking these things, let alone telling me about them with such vivid description.

If anyone else has a teen around his age (16) with similar behaviors, please advise. TIA

Answer 1

Too many instances about hurting himself for it to be "wild imagination"

They are all based on him self harming

and too serious to pass off as "jokes"

Its a cry for help



You need to at least try and talk to him about this

Next time he makes a comment like

"do you ever have an urge to just using a pin to stab yourself"

You stop what you are doing, give him full focus and ask him

"no, I never have, what makes you ask that"?

and see if he is willing to open up

if he says no and laughs it off, cite the last thing he said on a similar vein



if he wont open up to you, you may need to engage a mental health professional

Its daunting I know, but you need to help him

now

Answer 2

OF COURSE YOU SHOULD BE CONCERNED!!!!!!!! You need to get him to a child counselor ASAP!!

Answer 3

your husband is right,

someone a man best but you can,, need to get with him and you both do hard manual labor all the time -- this helps a lot

do not point at work and tell him to do it, it must with a adult side by side,, dad uncle you. weeds yard cleaning ,, hours and hours of it.

and the one thing you do not want to deal with,,, he is frustrated (He is 16) and there is little you can do other than pay a profession or semi-professional to take care of him. The problem is a prostate is ready every 3 days at the least. As well this is part of the need for a real caring person (girl friend) and a pro is not that person, is he (be truthful) not attractive? personality?

this is a reality check



NEWS ALERT SPORTS IS NOT A ANSWER

Answer 4

I doubt anyone can tell you whether or not you should be concerned, because each situation is so different. He could be sending up red flags. It's equally possible he's figured out that these comments get your attention and its a form of power play. Have you noticed any other unusual behavior?



My suggestion is get him into counseling, because it solves this either way. If there's a legit issue, obviously you'd want some help. If there's not a legit issue, he won't want the counseling, but you'd be teaching him a very good life lesson. His words have consequences.

Answer 5

Please get him evaluated. I dated a guy who would ask questions like these. He committed suicide. I later discovered that these questions were his way of assessing my reaction to his death. Healthy people don't ask questions like that. My boyfriend didn't seem upset or unhappy because he was an expert at hiding it until it was too late.

Answer 6

Yes you should be concerned about these statements he's making. If he was just joking then he would't be saying it so much. He's crying out for help even if he does not realize it. He's afraid of your reaction or backlash that may result from this.

Answer 7

Coming from someone who doesn't have kids but has wrestled with depression:



I find this worrisome.I cycle in and out of depression, and sometimes it's really bad. When I thought about doing something to actually hurt myself, it was scary. Later on when I had a thought about hurting myself and it wasn't scary anymore, it was really scary.