Is there a difference between getting involved and a listening ear? ?

Question

Hello,

I thought getting involved is actually getting participating in a drama or situation with body and I thought a listening ear is actually just listening to somebody vent. 

Why are text messages differcult to understand. I just wanted somebody to hear me out about somebody who put me through a deep depression and it still eats me up inside since that situation and all I wanted to do is vent? How is that involving somebody? 

A therapist listens with a listening ear and gives advice but won't contact somebody I have a problem with. I just want to vent. But a family member shuts me down and says "I am not getting involved". I didn't ask for them to get involved, I just want them to listen and ask me "Are you OK?" 

5 stars for best answer. Is there a difference or is it the same. Because that wasnt my intention to "involve" them. 

Answer 1

A listening ear should certainly mean just being prepared to hear the person out and have a good think about what the other person said.



It wouldn't hurt to ask if the person now wants your comments on what they've told you but don't rush in with the advice unless they actually ASK for some.  Many people have felt obliged to advise and then been told to mind their own business.  



Wait for the other person to say "What you do think I should do?" "Or how can I stop this happening?" or "How can I put this right?" etc.



A definite question needs a definite answer but if you are unsure as to whether or not that is what the person wants just take your time and see if the other person says something like "How would you deal with that?"  or "What do you think I should do about it?" etc.  If the asker does not make it clear you could then say "Are you wanting my advice on this?"

Answer 2

"Won't contact somebody I have a problem with."  Why would they?  Therapists list and offer advice when indicated.  "I want someone to listen to me."  Your parents don't know what's going on unless you tell them.

Answer 3

Venting to a listening ear is fine, as long as the recipient is willing.

Getting involved can include forming an opinion and perhaps treating others differently based on what they have heard.

Your relative did not want to listen to your vent. They did not want to form an opinion or take a side and are not a trained therapist so may find this difficult.

It is all about consent and they were not consenting to listening to you vent.