It is a choice, but so is "suffering" Life isnt fun all the time for anyone. I think almost everyone has issues at sometime that lead them to thoughts of suicide. But usualy things change, people get a second wind and move on or change directions. You have the choice to dwell on problems and let them get to you, or to just accept it as things that happen, and either file the problems away for awhile, or deal with them and get them taken care of. You dont have to allow things to bother you so much, If you re too sensitive about things other people do and say, you can accept that some people do and say mean or upsetting things. That is their action, not yours. If they put you down, it is only their opinion, not neccesarily the truth. They are probably disturbed more than you are. As long as you are doing your best, and being a good person, you can hold your head high and know that you arent contributing to the problem. When you throw away your life, you are wasting the opportunity to do things you cant even imagine. Helping someone who really does have no options. Not to hurt your feelings, but I really dont think your suffering has reach a critical level. Someone who is in constant pain, has bad teeth that cause almost constant agony, or someone really suffering from cancer, or has no warm place to live or cant get food. If you think you have it bad, you havent looked around. think about how your parents would feel if you took your life, they would miss you and probably blame themselves that they couldnt keep you happy. Personaly I think you are experiencing the hormonal tide that effects people your age, and it makes you feel forlorn and sad. It aint the end of the world tho, and it does go away. Instead of throwing away your set of helping hands, go find someone to help. That can be your reason for being here, if you cant find another one. I dont feel sorry for you, I feel sorry for the people you arent helping. You are probably pretty, and have all your appendages, and are strong and limber. go rake someones yard or walk their dog, because they cant. When they thank you, and appreciate you,then you will feel that you have some purpose. I am sure you could walk right down your street and find someone who needs you. That is the help you need, not seeing some shrink who will tell you a bunch of crap, and take your cash from you for it. If you want change, change things. If you feel that humainty isnt good, make it better, one kind deed at a time. The world is still wonderful and magical, you just have to look at it that way. When you drop your bag of sorrows and frustration, and pick up and carry a big load of self responsibilty. you evolve, and will never be the same. I think you really need to read what people have written here for you, and not just ignore them becuase they arent the same view you are holding. Most of us have been through this. Then we graduated, found love, had a child, etc, We experienced life, and found it to be bittersweet, but invigorating. And often rewarding. You will too.