Suicide
If you are feeling suicidal now you may be feeling very alone, lost, frightened, confused. You may be feeling there is no other way out of your problem, difficulties, worries, feelings, or whatever reason you are contemplating taking your life.
It may be that at the moment you are so overcome with feelings, sadness, despair, that you are not able to think clearly about other possibilities, other solutions, other alternatives, other ways of coping.
Suicide is very final - if you succeed in taking your life - there are no second chances and nobody really knows what will happen when they die. It may be difficult to take in at this moment in time but the feelings you have at the moment may be temporary - you may not always feel like this. There are people who have been in the exactly the same position as you and have somehow found the strength to come out of it and have gone on to find happiness and fulfilment in life and to be able to cope with life more easily - they have found alternatives to suicide and were glad that they did not take their own life.
You may feel like this now because the pain you are feeling has become unbearable. Just talking to someone else about how you are feeling can take some of that weight off your shoulders. There may be other things you can do to help yourself cope, to change things, to survive. It is incredibly sad that you feel so bad that you want to die. You may be telling yourself that other people would be better off without you but other people would not want you to take your life.
You may feel that nobody cares about you anyway but there are people who will care if you allow them to care for you. I care deeply that you are thinking of ending your life, that you see no hope, no alternative, but something so final as death.
You may be trying to convince yourself that your loved ones would be better off without you but if you were able to see the devastation that it causes families and friends of people who commit suicide you would not think that.
If you cannot see for yourself a reason to carry on living try and give others the chance to explore with you whether they can help you to see if there are any reasons for you to carry on living - give someone a chance to do that for you. You have nothing to lose. If you are determined to kill yourself there is no hurry - there is no need to take immediate action. Give yourself the next few days to see whether there are any alternatives, talk to a friend, a relative, a helpline, a counsellor, look at some of the websites where other people have felt suicidal but found alternatives to killing themselves. There are alternatives to suicide so give yourself some time to find some support, some help with coping and talk to others about how you are really feeling. Allow others to care for you just as you would if your best friend came and told you he/she was suicidal - talk to yourself as you would a friend.
back to top
Agencies which provide support and information
SupportLine Telephone Helpline: 020 8554 9004, email info@supportline.org.uk or write to SupportLine at PO Box 1596, Ilford, Essex IG1 3FW - Provides emotional support and details of support groups, helplines, agencies and counsellors throughout the UK
Calm: 0800 585858, www.thecalmzone.com - Campaign Against Living Miserably Help and support for young men aged 15-35 on issues which include depression and suicide
Premier Lifeline: 0845 345 0707, email lifeline@premier.org.uk, www.premier.org.uk/lifeline - Helpline providing a listening service, information, emotional and spiritual support from a Christian perspective
Samaritans: 0845 790 9090 (1850 60 90 90 Rep. Of Ireland), email jo@samaritans.org, www.samaritans.org - 24 hr helpline offering emotional support for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which may lead to suicide
Youth to Youth: 020 8896 3675, www.youth2youth.co.uk - Help and support for young people up to 19 years
Useful websites
www.metanoia.org/suicide
www.theblackdog.net - Supportive site for men who suffer from depression and/or suicidal thoughts
www.touchingminds.org - Peer support for those who suffer from mood disorders
See pages on Depression for additional resources
Loneliness
If you are feeling lonely you need to establish the reason for your loneliness. You may live on your own, have experienced a relationship breakdown or may have been bereaved and are looking for ways to make new friends and improve your social life. Getting involved in voluntary work in your local community is a good way of meeting new people, finding a sense of purpose by helping others. Local hospitals are often looking for volunteers to help visit patients or run the hospital shop. Local charities are often in need of volunteers to help staff charity high street shops.
You could also think about joining any clubs and societies relating to any interests/hobbies you have e.g. If you are interested in sport find out about local clubs, if you are interested in drama and theatre find out about joining a drama group or helping out behind the scenes at a local theatre. The local library, town hall information office or local paper often keep details about clubs and societies.
If you are suffering from depression and/or mental health it may be that because of your illness you have become cut off from family/friends and have become isolated in the community. You may also lack confidence and self esteem, suffer from anxiety, and may find it difficult to make friends or socialise.
It may help talking to a counsellor in the first instance and start trying to build your confidence up slowly - talking to the local shopkeepers, staff in the post office etc. just to get yourself used to talking to people and making conversation. It may help you to find out about assertiveness or confidence building classes which are often run by the local colleges or adult education centres and have a look at the pages on the website relating to self esteem, anxiety, depression as some of the resources mentioned on these pages may be helpful to you.
Adult education centres and community centres are worth checking out to see if there are any classes you may be interested in or hobbies you could take up. You may think about taking classes learning computers or a new language.
For young people there are many clubs which meet in a friendly social atmosphere while learning a variety of new skills and helping in the local community - Scouts, Girl Guides, British Red Cross, St. Johns Ambulance, Police Cadets etc.
If you are aged between 18-35 years the National Federation of 18 Plus Groups run clubs around the country where members meet in a social atmosphere and arrange a variety of activities.
Round Tables, Rotary and Inner Wheel Clubs are also an excellent way of becoming involved in the local community and at the same time meeting new people from which friendships may evolve.
back to top
Agencies which may be useful to you
Age-Link: 01895 676689 - To act as a community resource for the elderly isolated housebound. To establish groups of volunteers who will take out, entertain and befriend people who have little opportunity of leaving their homes without help. Arranging a variety of trips, visits and recreational outings.
Association of Inner Wheel Clubs in Great Britain and Ireland (clubs for women): 020 7834 4600, www.association-innerwheel.org.uk, 51 Warwick Square, London SW1V 2AT - To promote true friendship and the development of acquaintance as an opportunity for service and the betterment of social conditions. Voluntary work includes hospital work, caring for sick, needy, handicapped, young and elderly people according to the needs of the community.
British Red Cross Society: 0870 1707000, email information@redcross.org.uk, www.redcross.org.uk, 9 Grosvenor Crescent, London SWlX 7EJ - To provide caring and emergency service to those most in need in their local communities through some 45,000 volunteers and staff.
Depression Support Group Association (London based): 020 7328 8391, www.depressionalternatives.co.uk - Helping people whose lives have been distorted by insecurity, loneliness, shyness, unsatisfactory relationships to find alternatives to depression. Groups in London convened by professional counsellors/psychotherapists. Meet in a friendly, sociable environment and offer members route to a more fulfilling life, develop self esteem and confidence and learn how their emotional needs can be met more fully. Fee £15 per week, concessions for students and unemployed. Also run Shyness & Social Anxiety Programme and Personal Relationships programme. Men's Group to strengthen men's sense of themselves. Also individual therapy.
Friends of the Elderly: 020 7730 8263, email enquiries@fote.org.uk, www.fote.org.uk - To support older people, often frail, confused or with dementia, to maintain a level of independence and choice by providing a complete range of services for them - provides home visiting services, runs day centre facilities.
Girlguiding UK: 020 7834 6242, email chq@girlfuiding.org.uk, www.guides.org.uk, 17-19 Buckingham Palace Road, London SW1W OPT - Enables girls and young women to fulfil their potential to take an active and responsible role in society through stimulating and enjoyable activities. A challenging programme enabling girls and young women to explore and achieve in a supportive environment, growing in self esteem and confidence.
Long Distance Walkers Association: 01732 883705, email ramblers@london.ramblers.org.uk, www.ramblers.org.uk, Bank House, High Street, Wrotham, Sevenoaks, Kent TN15 7AE x- To further the interests of those who enjoy long distance walking, promoting organised challenge walks.
London Wildlife Trust: 020 7261 0447, email enquiries@wildlondon.org.uk, www.wildlondon.org.uk, Harling House, 47-51 Great Suffolk Street, London SE1 0BS - To promote nature conservation within Greater London. Managing nearly 60 wildlife sites, running public participation surveys and other activities for the public, also junior Wildlife Watch groups throughout London.
National Association of Clubs for Young People: 020 7793 0787, email office@nacyp.org.uk, www.nacyp.org.uk - Over 3,000 throughout the country - programmes include sporting, creative, adventurous, training etc. Training is offered to club members for their personal and social development, to senior members in leadership skills and to volunteers in practical club management.
National Association of Women's Clubs: 020 7837 1434, email nawc@tinyworld.co.uk, www.nawc.org.uk, 5 Vernon Rise, London WC1X 9EP - To provide facilities for social life and opportunities for informal education within the means of all women. The individual clubs are self governing. Programmes include facilities for a good social life, classes and demonstrations on a variety of crafts etc. and speakers on a wide range of subjects.
National Association of Widows: 024 7663 4848, email info@nawidows.org.ukk, www.nawidows.org.uk, 48 Queens Road, Coventry CV1 3EH - Provides support, advice and comfort to widows. To offer a social and educational life which is within the means of widows.
National Federation of 18 Plus Groups: 01531 821210, email office@18plus.org.uk, www.18plus.org.uk, Church Street Chambers, 8-10 Church Street, Newent, Gloucestershire GL18 1PP - To provide an independent social club for anyone within the ages of 18-35, helping young adults to develop a personal philosophy and social understanding. Groups are financially self supporting and have no allegiance to any political, religious or other body. Members are given the opportunity to participate in a wide range of activities, carried out in a friendly social atmosphere. The activities programme is arranged by the members for the members with the emphasis on widening personal interest and social circle. Have groups around the UK. Contact Head Office for information pack and details of nearest group.
National Federation of Solo Clubs: 0121 236 2879, Ruskin Chambers, 191 Corporation Street, Birmingham, West Midlands, B4 6RY - Provides social events for widowed, divorced,separated people and other single people at 64 clubs nationwide. Activities include holidays, day trips, dances.
National Federation of Women's Institute: 020 7371 9300, www.womensinstitute.org.uk - Monthly meetings, demonstrations, speakers, activities, learning experiences.
National Association of Round Table of Great Britain and Ireland: 0121 4564402, email hq@roundtable.org.uk, www.roundtable.co.uk, Marchesi House, 4 Embassy Drive, Calthrope Road, Edgbaston, Birmingham B15 1TP - Association of Clubs for young men aged 18-45 years that provides a selection of social and community service related opportunities for its members. Meetings include speakers, activities, entertainment, quizzes, debates, meals.
National Women's Register: 0845 4500287, email office@nwr.org.uk, www.nwr.org.uk - Meet other women and make new friends, informal lunch discussion groups, social activities, quizzes, correspondence magazine, postal book group, penfriend scheme.
Police Cadets (for young people): Contact local police station for details of the nearest Police Cadet Scheme.
Ramblers Association: 020 7339 8500, email ramblers@london.ramblers.org.uk, www.ramblers.org.uk, 2nd Floor, Camelford House, 87-89 Albert Embankment, London SE1 7TW.
Rotary International in Great Britain and Ireland: 01789 765411, email secretary@ribi.org, www.rotary-ribi.org, RIBI, Kinwarton Road, Alcaster, Warwickshire B49 6PR - Business and professional men helping in the community and social activities.
SA-UK (Social Anxiety UK): email contact@social-anxiety.org.uk, www.social-anxiety.org.uk - Volunteer led organisation, news, advice, info, meetings, chatroom, forums, support/social groups, info on cognitive behavioural therapy.
Scout Association: 0845 300 1818, email info.centre@scout.org.uk, www.scouts.org.uk Gilwell Park, Bury Road, Chingford, London E4 7QW - To promote the development of young people in achieving their full physical, intellectual, social and spiritual potential. Non formal personal and social education through outdoor adventure. Creative activities and community service.
Single Concern Group - (Person to Person/Future Friends): 01643 708 008, PO Box 40, Minehead, Somerset TA24 5YS - To help lonely, and socially isolated people and to address the problems and concerns of single people in general. Publishing a number of regular magazines enabling people to get in touch with each other and with professional and voluntary workers who run a help service and a phone link. Concessionary subscription rates for disabled and unwaged people.
SPICE UK: 0161 873 8788, email info@spiceuk.com, www.spiceuk.com - UK’s largest multi activity, adventure, sports and social group. Adventure group for ordinary people who want to do extraordinary things. Activities each month, subscription charge.
St. John Ambulance: 020 7324 4000, email info@nhq.sja.org.uk, www.sja.org.uk, 27 St.John's Lane, London EC1M 4BU - The uniformed members of St. John Ambulance operate worldwide as unpaid volunteers who save lives, care for the sick and injured and relieve suffering. They operate coastal and river patrols, assist in hospitals and with many community social services for the sick, disabled and lonely. Cadet divisions for 10-16 year olds and the Badgers for children aged 6-10 year olds.
St. Vincent de Paul Society: 020 7407 4644, email info@svp.org.uk, www.svp.org.uk, 5th floor, 291-299 Borough High Street, London SE1 1JG - To support the needy and marginalized by person to person contact. Activities include helping the elderly, sick, unemployed, lonely, bereaved.
Volunteering England: 0845 305 6979, email volunteering@volunteeringengland.org, www.volunteeringengland.org.uk - Provide information relating to volunteering and details of volunteer bureaux across the country.
Useful websites