Please read!! I think I'm going to have a mental breakdown?

Question

I'm 19 and have all the symptoms of mental breakdown like anxiety, delusion( seeing shadow, or ghost), mood swings, disinterest in family or friends, and suicidal thoughts.
I know this is long but please read through it.
All my problem started when I was 3-7 years old, my parents were busy working. So the neighbor babysit me, and i was sexually molasted by their sons. I remember some flashbacks and felt disgusted with myself for enjoying it. Growing up I hated myself and sometime my parents too. Why do I get babysit by my neighbors, while my younger siblings lived with my grandma do i have bad luck? I've always feel a sad emptiness inside, I feel like a item and always tried to please everyone. Now i have a lot of issues, and few friends due to my trust and intimacy issue. Physical contact makes me feel uncomfortable except from my family members. I also hated my job and everyone is so nasty to me, I wished to quit but Think no one will hire me. I'm also failing college and My parent don't know any of this. I hope I can get in a car crush and died, the fact that my Molester are living happily make me angry. I am considering suicide because I have no purpose in this world, and felt only sadness and loneliness.
Also I can't get help and feel like I'm trapped!! The reason I havn't killed myself yet is due to the fear that my next life will turn out to be the exact same thing. And Ill have to relive it again for failing the test in this life.
Please i need some advices!

Answer 1

I personally believe that God has things figured out. So some uncomfortable things happened here and there and your not real happy right at the moment. Instead of worrying about everything and thinking about the past all the time, why not start thinking of whatever you would like to do and just start doing it. No matter what has happened in the past, you can't change it and it doesn't have any effect on whatever you want to do now. Nothing is stopping you except yourself. Relax, stop worrying, and go do whatever you want to do. What good is worrying about all this junk anyway? It's not helping. In fact you just said you think your going to have a mental breakdown. Doesn't seem like worrying is fixing the problem. What makes you think your not as good as anyone else? I don't believe anyone is really any worse or better than anyone else. It's just in your head. Stop talking yourself into all this junk about your past being why everything is messed up and just do what you've gotta do. You can handle it as good as the next person. Your only 19, it's not the end of the world. Don't make a big deal out of things, just relax. People to talk to and junk will show up. Not everyone you talk to is going to be your best friend. Just be patient. I like to remind myself that there isn't any big rush to do anything. Just stay calm and stop sitting around teling yourself how bad everything is. You'll be ok. Surf the internet and find a new hobby to be intrested in when you have some free time and nothing else to do. Check out some new stuff. Of course things are going to be boring if you don't make an effort.

Answer 2

Try calling a hotline or telling a parent or trusted adult your issue. You will probably be scared to do it at first, but they will be able to help you through this problem. Try going to therapy or finding someone who can help you through this. You feel like you have no purpose, but everyone has a purpose. Try to work through your problems and find a hobby that you enjoy or join a group of people with similar interests.



Please, oh PLEASE do not commit suicide! There is always a way through problems. Just think, one day you may be able to help someone else with their problem because you made it through yours!



You are able to make a difference in the world! It may not feel like it now, but it will get better!

Answer 3

I know what Im saying is going to sound crazy but you have to let go of all the negative things you have to let it come up and then let go, I used to feel like this and I finally had to start writing, I used to write, I used the writing as a way to let it go, and talking to people, like once you write think of it as it being out and it being over, Message me if you want

Answer 4

okay you arent the only one who has experienced a tragic event in your childhood that has altered your life negatively. you cannot let your tragedy consume you. your life is worth living. and once you overcome it you will see that..you are young and have much to live for, fight for your life, and fight for yourself because you deserve it, it is possible to get help, please try hard to. so you can heal.

Answer 5

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