I just want to be happy...only I don't know how and I need some help?

Question

I feel really ugly almost all the time. I have a crooked tooth that my mom always nags me about, saying that I should have had it pulled before I got braces. It makes me feel so ugly because she says it to me at least once a week. I wear my retainer still and whiten my teeth but she still upsets me when she says it. I am almost 17 but I am only 5'4 and when I wear my school uniform people think I am a freshmen or in middle school. My older brother is always nasty and swears at me and tells me I am such a loser and I have no friends and thats why I left my old school...but the thing is that I never even talk to him, I do nothing to deserve it. I have been feeling really bad about myself lately so I haven't been eating much. I only eat tea, cheerios, granola bars, protein shakes and fruits and veggies. I am trying to workout more because I feel like losing a little weight might help, but I doubt it will. I am 108 lbs right now and I feel really ugly. My hair used to be long and curly blonde like Taylor Swift's...then I had a breakdown a few months ago and dyed parts of it purple and pink and blue. Then to fix it I dyed it auburn, it makes my eyes look greener and I feel like it gave me a fresh start. I am unrecognizable now, especially if I straighten it so that makes me feel better, like I am not the same person I was last year at my old school.

But I still feel really fragile, emotionally. Earlier this week I brought home a painting I did in art at school to show my mom. My teacher said I had to bring it back the next day because she wanted to put it in the town art show and I was really proud of it but when I showed it to my mom she didn't even care. She said something like yeah that's good and then went back to watching t.v. Today I came home from school and was walking up the stairs to my room but tripped on a shoe I didn't see and I just sat at the bottom of the stairs crying, not because it hurt. I felt so worn down and ugly and like no one cares about me. I have felt like this for a long time but this was the first time I cried specifically for that reason.

A school dance is coming up and I am not going, I don't even have anyone I would go with anyway. I have never had a boyfriend but I can't blame guys for avoiding someone like me. I spend most of my time doing homework at the library or practicing guitar or horseback riding...all things I do by myself. On my drive home I passed my old high school I transferred out of. Everyone seemed prettier and happier than I remembered but I was still the same quiet girl no one cared about or remembers. Over the summer I remember this lady sitting next to me at the dentist asking me if I was a model and she said I should try it. I feel nothing like the person I was over the summer, like that person doesn't even exist anymore and I kind of scares me. I just want to be happy again, only I don't know how and I would really like some help.

Answer 1

Wow!

I think you are making a big issue, basically out of nothing. You are what you are. Rite??

Why think negative. This happiness you want others to help you with, will only come from inside YOU.

Self confidence is what you lack. Appreciate who you are and never compare yourself with others.



Remember no one is perfect! Talk to your mother ans share all your problems with her and explain to her that you want her help and support. I am sure she will understand.



Think about the positive things in your life! There are millions of people without clothes, food and shelter.



Learn to be Thank full!

Answer 2

For the longest time I had felt the same way, and trust me things got better. I bought a camera and turned tO photography as my release from the world. I would be taking a picture of a shoe and I could find it beautiful by just the angle it was taken at. I also turned to drawings, I would draw how I felt, and it almost always had a quote to go with it. Eventually I started showcasing my items and met people that felt the same way I did, both with my emotional troubles and with photography and drawing. Hun, it gets better. Find something you really enjoy, and find people who feel the same way. That's how I pulled through.

Answer 3

First of all, you need to stop thinking that you're ugly. I would probably talk to your mom about getting some help, her answer may surprise you. Your weight is below average for your height and loosing weight would be unhealthy. I am 107 and 5'3" so thats defiantly not anything you need to worry about. It also sounds to me like you have depression and maybe a mild eating disorder, which is nothing to be ashamed of. Trust me I have had almost the same thing happen to me before. I cried myself to sleep countless nights because of what I thought of myself. Talking to my friends and my psychiatrist has really helped me and I think it would help you to.

Answer 4

try to find someone talk to someone you trust anything to get it out it feel amazing. I know what its liek to be worn down day in and day out.. and about you feeling bad about yourself i feel like that all of the time i just find something one little thing i liek about myself and focus on it and try to make way with the rest untill i find another. i have a brother liek your but he used to hit me now he verbally abuses me but you are compleatly right you did nothing to deserve what you got dont ever forget that.. your so much better then what your getting and waht you are feeling.



if you want to talk about it e mail me ill try to help ( [e-mail])

Answer 5

I'm so sorry and go to get help