It sounds like you have what I have – but have never been taught how to cope with it – it's a strain of autism – so mild it often gets missed and gets away undiagnosed and untreated, so does not appear on your medical record, as your symptoms of it are so mild you do not appear ‘different’ enough.
Nowadays you are not likely to get into the military or the police or the civil service with it because the United Nations World Health Organisation define it as a serious mental disease despite it having a long and glorious military, police and civilian service past because only suicidally loyal, intelligent and courageous people get it.
We were bred to be this way - like pedigree horses – pedigree esquires, bred to shield their knights, priests, kings or emperors in battle from being killed or injured. Continuity of governance for a full 20 years back from the time the status of the territory was called into dispute was necessary to call the territory your real estate and pass it on to your heir or heirs.
But esquires had a bipolar quirk - no sooner than war was over, they had no-one left to kill but each other, and they became disloyal, stupid and reckless with their lives and the lives of others - 25-30 times more likely to kill themselves than other people, for their senses jangled 25-30 more times as intensely as those of ordinary people.
Many went completely nuts and took their own lives - this concerned the knights, priests, kings and emperors they served, for it took 15 years to train an esquire, so there was a 35 year discontinuity in the knight's, priest's, king's or emperor's rule or governance, if one killed himself or herself as it took 15 years to train another before the 20 year count could start all over again.
So, as soon as war was over and peace was declared, knights, priests, kings and emperors set up pedagogic societies to teach them sustainable real estate governance. The last such of which I have detailed knowledge was set up in England by William the Conqueror on his coronation day in 1066.
He was from Normandy and promised his wife and kids that he would come home after conquering England. But as I mentioned, to claim England as his real estate and keep it in the family on his death he had to keep peaceful possession of it for at least 20 years. So he to put his half-brothers, Odo and Robert, in charge of it, as Esquires, and set up a society, that he called the County Surveyors Society, to teach them sustainable real estate governance and suicide avoidance and prevention, to stay alive at least 20 years, to collect and present evidence of their continuous possession of it to the Church in the form a survey or book.
That survey or book, now called the Domesday or Doomsday Survey or Book, although then it was known as the Great Book of Winchester, is the evidence they collected and presented to the Church, that England was indeed the real estate of the monarchy of England, so, every subsequent monarch of England after William maintained the County Surveyors Society, until it was wound up in 1997, as redundant because the strain of savantism its members had was regarded as Autism.
I was a member of that Society from birth; became an instructor of its sustainable real estate teaching and suicide avoidance and prevention pedagogy at age 50 and chief instructor at 52; and, have been coaching and counselling the suicide avoidance and prevention pedagogy, pro bono, ever since.
I taught it by one-to-one coaching and counselling until recently, when I found residual bloodlines of William the Conqueror, throughout the world, had been excommunicated by the County Surveyors Society when they won their independence, from the monarchy of England, and they were suicidally disloyal, stupid and reckless, with their lives and those of others.
This was particularly so in the US, where autistic suicides had reached epidemic proportions; Eire, where young, female, autistic suicide rates were the worst in Europe; and India, where the caste system added a disturbing dimension to their disloyalty, stupidity and recklessness.
I tried recruiting, coaching, and counselling, clients in these three countries and any others who had never even heard of the County Surveyors Society before, and wrote an autobiographical Amazon Kindle trilogy and compendium about my life and work to save having to tell the same story to every new client I recruited.
They went viral the night I uploaded them, and by breakfast time next morning, captured slots #1, #2, #3 and #4 of the Amazon UK Best Sellers list in my genre and niche and the same positions globally on the Amazon Com Best Sellers list by breakfast time seven days later.
So, Arianna Huffington, the Editor in Chief of The Huffington Post, invited me to write blogs on it for its readers, and as a result of doing that, CNNiReport invited me to broadcast in audio-video format to its listeners and viewers.
I had a leap from an audience of 10,000 on Facebook and 100,000 on Linked In who had made my books bestsellers, to an audience of 150,000,000 Readers of The Huffington Post and 200,000,000 Household based Listeners and Viewers and 100,000,000 Hotel based Listeners and Viewers.
I was swamped with so many requests for pro bono one-to-one coaching and counselling in suicide avoidance and prevention that I had think about automating my pedagogy of it, so I determined what The Huffington Post readership wanted of me, undertook the necessary research and development work with a crowd-sourced audience on Yahoo! Answers to devise a suitable pedagogy, put it on an email autoresponder system, marketing it, and began to attract subscribers.
I stored my audio-video presentation recordings on You Tube so the entire system would be free to anyone who found it there, and it saved the life of the Executive Director of the Start Up Team of a new sustainable entrepreneurship University, who introduced me to the University Director.
He recognized that many people with autism are geniuses, but many die young, mostly by suicide, and asked how we could collaboratively joint venture so the University and his group of Companies could help me save more of them.
This was a miracle sent to me by my secret mastermind team of Life, Death, Nature, Fate, Fortune, God, the Universe and All That, Whatever. I had been looking for a haven where people who had never heard of the County Surveyors Society could learn sustainable real estate governance and suicide avoidance and prevention, to replace the County Surveyors Society that taught me.
I had been impeded for 25 years by the UK Official Secrets Acts 1911-89 from discussing anything about the Society, because it had been set up and maintained by all the monarchs of England from William the Conqueror to the present Queen, Elizabeth II.
So I am going to amend my autoresponder to take account of my collaborative joint venture with the Director of the University to recommend to my Autistic Suicide Avoidance and Prevention Clients, to become Students of his University on completion of my 7StepsToSuicidePreventionIn98Days which I teach pro bono via http://bit.ly/1p7Tcl2..
I hope you sign up to it as you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. It crushes those churning suicidal thoughts you get, fixes your financial problems, raises your happiness quotient, widens your mental horizon, erases your negative ego, makes you awesome, and then makes you extraordinary. I can supplement it with a pro bono encyclopaedia of ‘the knowledge’ from which I learned to read and write to university entrance exam level, brought up to date to the modern day, if you need it. It’s part of my pro bono ‘package as many of my clients have had a disastrous academic history and need to supplement it. The university course I am offering under joint venture is a modern day version of the two I took to become a Town and Country Planning and Development Governance specialist and win an international design competition to kick start my 50 year professional working career and end it by my flagship development, to which I dedicated the last 35 of those 50 career years, attaining global renown, by being added as the primary service hub of a UNESCO Reserve http://bit.ly/1WhoZhB.
Source(s): Seventy-one years education, training, and experience in making sense of my world and place in it. Fifty years of improving the health, wealth, happiness and security of billions of other people around the world. Twenty one years coaching and counselling thousands of them in suicide avoidance and prevention.
E-mail me if I can be of any further assistance - adriant.esq@btinternet.com
http://bit.ly/1LIJOeC
http://huff.to/22W8B7j
http://cnn.it/1ZXotnJ
http://bit.ly/22KlGmz
http://bit.ly/1p7Tcl2
http://bit.ly/24JzRWC
PS – The same problem they have in the USA, Eire and India has started happening here in UK as it is a generation since the County Surveyors Society here was wound up http://bit.ly/24XtvmA.