Suicidal and needed encouragement?

Question

I'm sorry to bother you or waste your time. I'm a college aged student who lives at home.

My first boyfriend happened in may. He was my everything. I felt as if we were completely perfect for each other and he made me very happy. At the end of January, he got kicked out of school. He proceeded to dump me claiming he needed time. I tried to talk to him asking if we could still be friends. He refuses to talk to me. I have a broken heart that I can't show because my family doesn't approve due to his acne scars.

I literally have 2 friends who are mere acquaintances. I'm very kept to myself so making friends for me is difficult. I am lonesome.

I aspire to be a dentist. However, I am already a failure as I am in my second semester of college, and I have already flunked my first exam in the basics of the department.

Today, my only valentine (counting someone saying happy valentines day) was a stuffed animal my father bought me out of obligation. He knows so little about me because he avoids me that he doesn't know I distest them. I accept that he tried.

When i ask for help with my depression my mother claims that I am having a pity-party, which she doesn't realize how bad it is. I feel my life as insignifcant, as if i didn't wake up tomorrow, I doubt anyone would notice or miss me. I can't keep living like this. I am miserable. I've cried everynight for as long as I can remember. I'm tired of it.....


Thank you for your time.

Answer 1

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Meaning, you will get past this and suicide is not the answer. My cousin was a bit of a loner although he would visit and gave the impression of a happy go lucky kind of guy. He took his life 12 years ago and my gosh, it hurt. I wish he could have told us he was struggling. Suicide hurts so many more people than you can imagine. Although you think your parents aren't taking you seriously, it could be that they don't really know how to deal with it or they just don't understand how bad you feel inside. I remember being in year 10, I was so depressed but my parents would say 'snap out of It'. It was only when I sat down and wrote a letter about how I was really feeling did they really realise how much I was struggling, and It wasn't just teenage angst. I was booked in to see a psychologist ASAP. I can tell you right now, your parents would be devastated if you committed suicide, they would never get over it. Never. Your dad sounds like a total sweetie. I think, you should write your parents a letter. When you talk to someone it can be so easy to lose your train of thought. When you write it down, it's raw emotion. They will read it and realise that you're seriously depressed and get you help. Your broken heart will heal, if this ex couldn't realise that your support during his tough times would have been a good thing, then he isn't worth it. You need to remember that you need to be totally happy within yourself before you get together with anyone else, and it's possible that's how he was feeling too. I've been in a few relationships and I can tell you, broken hearts hurt. But they fade in time. It doesn't feel like that right now for you, but trust me on this - each day will get easier than the last. I would always think 'this really sucks, but I'm kind of excited to see what happens next'. Like Garth Brooks says 'I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance', meaning that, although there is pain in life, without pain we would miss all The good things that came before, and the good things that are yet to come. Taking your life means you will miss everything that's yet to come. It's like reading a book, you have to keep reading to see what happens next. Life is the same. We need to keep living to see what's around the corner. Don't beat yourself up about the test. Can you take it again? Nothing is ever so bad it can't be fixed. Remember your dreams of being a dentist - you can be anything you want to be with dedication. And you will get there. I work at a dental clinic and have so much admiration for our dentists, they're great people and great to work for!

So write the letter to your parents, get help and work hard. It's going to be hard right now because you're dealing with a lot, but in time it will get easier, I promise you. I have felt suicidal a few times in my life, but those feelings pass. You just need to hang on, and get help. Wishing you all The best.

Answer 2

Listen lovely your first love is always difficult to get over but you mustn't let it control you in such a negative way. Depression is not an easy illness to live with but it can be brought under control, I suggest that you go to see your doctor or go visit a well woman's clinic in your area. You can become a dentist if that is what you really want, your only young and time will be with you. If you don't succeed, try again and again if you have too just don't give up your dreams there yours. Pay a little more attention to yourself and be kinder to yourself, learn to like you for who you are. you are never alone and I asked the Angels to protect and guide you at this painful time. Don't look outside yourself for recognition, recognize who you are and that you have a God given right to be here. So dry your eyes, wash your face and take responsibility for your choices whether good or bad. Each day is a new day a gift live your life smile and have some fun. lots of love and best wishes to you a friend!

Answer 3

First of all i wouldnt talk to your mom(about this) mines like that about my stuff they just dont get it if they havnt been there or they dont understand. Alot of the time you need somthing your good at as a release and a source of confidence so find your talent and go for it. As for friends you pick them up along the way youl find more as you go through college and for love it can be the greatest thing in the world but it can also tear you apart i think you should worry about yourself and people will come. They always come from the most unexpected places and theyr unpredictable. For depression i dont know if your being treated but if not see a doctor if so and you just want someone there maybe look into a therapist they work wonders

The best of luck

-jack

Answer 4

Hmm..well..I think about suicide daily, and I am also a depressed cutter. I'm 14 though.



The only thing that stops me from suicide is thinking I still have a lot more life to live..and I keep thinking things will get better..and my friends and parents would be sad if if I died. Maybe you could get a pet, like a puppy. They are really good friends..my dog makes me feel better :)



Or just keep studying to be a dentist...I'm not as old as you are so I don't know if this helps but..I hope it does.

Answer 5

I am 19 years old and have been going through a situation that has controlled my life for the past 7 months. I was done wrong by several people who I considered my brothers. >okay. Chris, you feel used and rejected for the past seven months. Its hard having something on your mind every day for 7 months and on top of that living with guilt and condemnation because constantly bring up every mistake you made and how much everyone hates you. I am breaking down right now. I am trying my best to hold it together because of my family who is counting on me but its hard to live like an outcast and more importantly feel like one. I have been keeping it in but its hard. >It's okay to cry and let it out. Crying helps the body heal, never be ashamed to cry. people who feel emotional pain always try and hold it in. When my mom dies of cancer last year, I didn't cry or grieve for her until a few months later and I cried every time I visited her grave site. Do it in private if you rather but don't try and hold it in. I just started crying in my room because living with anger, guilt and shame takes a toll you. I want to give up and just lay in the bed everyday and not do anything. But as a junior in college, I really cant do that. For the first time in my life, I really don't know how I am going to make it through something. I just really need any encouragement from people to keep me pushing on. >It's good that you realize that you can't just stay in bed and not do anything, especially in college. I would just try and focus on your studies, if you can try and forget the loss of your "so called buddies" and maybe talk to someone you really trust or have the school find you someone to discuss your issues if they keep bothering you and affecting your studying and daily living. >Are you in a relationship with someone? Can that person help you deal with your emotional pain? Sometimes it helps to confide in someone you think the world of and they might pull you out of this funk. Breathe, and cry all you want to help relieve the stress and anxiety of your feelings. Your no fool, so they took advantage of you whatever it was and they let you down...you will recover from all of this, trust me.

Answer 6

make an appointment with your doctor for a check up. while there mention to him/her that you have been feeling very depressed and for how long and that it has gotten to the point that it is interfering with your life. ask him/her for help with it. there are then two options here. the first one is that he/she can offer to try and treat you (my husbands doctor treats him for depression) or 2. he/she will recommend that you go see a psychiatrist for a diagnosis and treatment. if the second option is chosen see if your doctor can't recommend some one for you to go and see. that will show your parents that you are serious. depression is a serious matter and needs to be dealt with. left alone it only gets worse. i know this because i suffer from severe depression and my husband suffers from depression. we are both being treated for it. i am being treated by a psychiatrist because i have other problems that needs to be treated by a psychiatrist.

Answer 7

I'm so so sorry to hear about that hunny but trust me things will get a lot better . Trust me . You can get through this just stay strong and please try to not have suicidal thoughts I know what it's like to go through depresion and I have attempted suicide but trust me it's really not worth it. Stay strong darling x

Answer 8

Grow up, life isn't good for everyone. It's time to put on your big girl pants and face your problems. Crying doesn't solve your problems. Running away isn't the answer and suicide is for the weak. Do you really want people to remember you as the person that was so demented and ended her own life. Think about that.

Answer 9

yay im not alone. i feel just like you im 10 and im abused every day all day. maybe this will help you just seeing this YOU ROCK! YOUR AMAZING! :)!!!!! Just remember your not alone. TONS of people are going through similar problems. whenever suicide thoughts come in your head ignore them! Just get up run around( when your exercising you body doesn't have time to be sad). There is cures for this talk to your doctor. ROCK ON! I hope you feel better! :))))))))))))))!





think about all the people who love you and if you die... they get depression to! Hope you cheer up!

Answer 10

Try to talk to your friends/acquaintances, they might turn into proper friends.



I also imagine the college will have a mentoring or counseling system, use that too, it'll help.



Also don't talk to the internet, that way trolls lie.

Answer 11

i was devastated when my first boyfriend dumped me, like you i couldn't stop crying and it took me months and months to get over it, but i did get over it. I also felt like no-one would care if i didn't wake up tomorrow or crashed my care on purpose etc. it's bullshit, the fact that you're dad brought you a toy shows how much he loves and cares about you. of course he can't relate to you, you're his teenager daughter going through heartbreak, he doesn't know what to do and if you're not talking to them it doesn't make it any easier for him. Do they really not approve bcs he had acne scars or bcs he got kicked out of school? hardly ideal boyfriend material for anyone's daughter. you're young and they are concerned that you're reaching that age where you're dating and they worry about you and the boys who might try to just screw you etc? i HATED my parents for all the same reasons and i know you don't want to hear this but time will make things easier. you will love somebody again and you will find someone much nicer than your last one. This is just a taster, no-one avoids heartache. we all meet, fall in love then split up with several if not many ppl in our lives. you'll handle each situation differently and learn more about yourself every time. at the minute it's painful bcs you've not done it before and it feels like the whole world is caving in but it will pass. I didn't get a single valentine today, my parents didn't even remember. my boyfriend who i live with told me didn't love me anymore just before xmas (probably so he didn't have to spend money on xmas prezzies) and that he was moving out but he's still crashing on the couch! i am heartbroken, we've been together 14 yrs & thought we would get married & get puppies & babies but i guess not. sounds like you're mom could be a bit more supportive but perhaps she's trying to pull you out of your black hole. try talking to her and telling her how upset you feel and that you need some support bcs you're not doing well at school also, if you reach out to them they will help you. Re-sit your exams and work really hard. give yourself something to work for and look forward to. you have to be happy with yourself, not rely on other ppl to make you happy, that will never ever work. just flunking one exam is not the end, i failed my maths exam 4 times and currently have a fantastic job which i've been in for years which people are envious of. i've had to work really hard for it but it was worth it. join a gym or yoga class or something else where you will meet ppl other than your school social circle so you can meet more people, have more friends and interests. I know it's hard but you really have to push yourself out there. if your ex dropped out of school and won't even speak to you, you have no right wasting a single further tear on him. go paint some kohl on your eyes, that should stop you crying cos you'll look like a messy raccoon if you cry, seriously sweetie, he's not worth it. you deserve better than that so kick his memory to the kerb, take some very deep breaths and move on. you can do it. xxxxxxx

Answer 12

1st love always the way,guess what!Your better than that!!Do it for u,no-one else,someone will come along when u dont expect it,so dont worry!I'm 40,single,got out of depression and got a job i love,I done that by myself,so if i can do it,anyone can.Also,dont put yourself down,be strong or you'll miss those hunks go by!!!!

Answer 13

Hey sweet heart, im 18 and and am in my second semester of college, i too have thought about eating a bullet up until the point my parents took all my guns away, then i was going to attempt suicide in my truck but i could not find a place that i could 100% die...... That being said after being forced to live because my suicide options would not be full proof nor i would have access to my guns..... I had to learn to just breath easy and try to relax, take everyday as it comes, do not look at it in the perspective of 4 more years at school just look at it as today and what you need to do today.... Next forget about your BF if he dumped you after being kicked out of college that is wonderful for you, if he had to be kicked out of college that should indicate that he is not worth your time.....k next love will find you weather you believe it or not there are prob 100 guys on campus that would love to take you out they just haven't meet you, next piece of advice is that you need to exercise and workout it will make you feel great after doing it for a while....and with your dad he loves you.. you are a piece of him and he bought you that bear because you mean something to him, believe it or not thats the truth, crying can be healthy but if you start exercising and take life on a day to day basis you wont feel so defeated, and as far as that failing the test goes sit down and write in a journal about what you find interesting in life then branch that out if it leads back to dentistry continue on and work hard on your grades.. perhaps you need to take an easier class most universities and 2 year schools offer remedial programs that will help a lot....and remember you can only pass a test if you work hard and study for it... and yeah sometimes we fail but its all about how you get back on your feet and keep going =)........ if i was not clear or you want more advice just shoot me a message or whatever ......... and lastly here are a few more things look up a couple of dirty jokes and even if you dont laugh ill bet you ll smile which is a step in the right direction, then go out with your friends to a movie or something you all want to see... for strengthening you relationship with your father if he is a sports men suggest gong fishing or shooting guns even if you dont like to he would find it great to spend time with you, if he has any hobby's ask to get involved, and if you have a dog take it for walks and cuddle with it throw the ball wrestle around on the floor with it i grantee you ll feel loads better....dont focus on love right now just get in a good state of mind eat healthy, get up early run in the mornings ... doing stuff like this will help give you a purposeful life... think of going to math and english class as a goal to and the first step of achieving your much sought after degree in dentistry. forget about boys and get yourself figured out then worry about the rest of that crap later... i wish you luck, i took my time to answer this b/c i care and i want you to beat the depression like i did, somedays you may just be depressed but that is okay cause everyone does. DONT GIVE UP KEEP GOING!!!!

Answer 14

Hi,



contact these people for help



http://www.thehopeline.com/CSDefault.aspx



its for teens through early 20s....



you can call, email, or chat........

Answer 15

never do that,, life is so important,never loose hope, every problem has a corresponding solution!!..