Suicide is running through my mind..?

Question

So, I've had a pretty ****** up life. My mom and dad and aunt are all drug addicts, and I've been raised by my grandparents.. I have no one here for me, life is hell. I was already set up for failure with having both of my parents gone, and I just feel like I have nothing to live for. On top of that I'm gay, so I get constantly made fun of for that. Nobody at my school likes me, and I smoke everyday just to try to make things a little better. My UA came back and it was 1753, which I guess is a high UA. I feel like all I do is **** up, I went from having a 4.0 to straight F's after smoking weed, now all these thoughts race through my mind and I feel like I'm never going to be anything. I've been clean from cutting for months now, but things are getting bad again.. And with self harm thoughts, come suicidal thoughts. I feel like I would just be better off dead..

Answer 1

Life can be so hard on some and so easy for others.Never give up on life,you will find happiness when you are of an age to go out where you want whenever you want'Your sexuality is not an issue.Sure 30-40 years ago it would have been much much worse however most people are accepting homosexuality so dont be brought down by narrow minded bigots.School kids will always pick on anyone who shows any change from the norm however even them when they mature will regret how they had treated you.

Stay strong,you will have a happy and rewarding life,you must try to be positive and see the good things in life even though it is tough at the moment.

Best wishes,have a happy life.

Answer 2

You Are Weak, Birds Kick There Young Out Of The Nest To Survive, They Are Not Titi Fed Till They Drop, Gazelles Need To Be On The Move Shortly After Berth, Or They Become Diner. Look At Animals Get Your Inspiration From Life Its Self, Life Is Not A Free Ride, Its A Fight. Peter Gore Seer.

Answer 3

Suicide is never the answer. There are people out there who love you and would hate to see you out of their lives. I may not be any help but trust me, everything will be okay. Just think positive, don't think about your past, move forward, and your thoughts will go away from suicide. If you really have to, tell someone about this problem.. tell like a school counselor. So what if people think your gay? There's nothing wrong with that. This world is tough, everyone has to become strong to live thru it, even if it means going through suicidal thoughts. (EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY, TRUST ME 😀😀)

Answer 4

Suicide is never the answer youll hear it everywhere.God created you for a purpose despite any failure you feel.your better and important than taking your own life.Im sure your pain is great but if you work through it maybe youll help someone else down the road.Despite all the bad that took place in your life you do matter and there are people who care and love you.you may feel alone alot but your not.Many deal with feeling this way i myself have been here alot and im trying to work out all my stuff like you.try to find a good therapist and dont isolate to the point its unhealthy.Prayers

Answer 5

You are thinking your life sucks and you don't have much to live for, but that is not true. That is the depression talking. Depression is a disorder that can be successfully treated and your feelings will greatly improve. I know your thoughts aren't accurate because you are too young to know what your life will be like. If you were 30, that would be one thing, but you are still in school and not knowing what your adult life will be like. In your past you have not had much control over the direction of your life. In the future, you will have much more control over things, where you live, where and if you go to college or get a job, and so forth. My advice, get into counseling and see a Dr. about trying a anti-depressant medicine to see if it helps. Just because the depression is due to a hard life, doesn't mean it isn't real depression that could be helped by medicine. A person should exhaust all options before they decide to kill themselves, don't you agree? Things will get better, I can almost guarantee that.

Answer 6

oh sweetheart. I'm sitting in my bed right now at 11pm and I saw your question and I wanted to answer it for you. I've been everywhere you are all the way to the hospital from jumping in front of a train. First thing is first, you should stop smoking weed because you said you started failing after smoking. I'm 19 now. I was diagnosed with clinical depression sophomore year. I started cutting, smoking and I was in an abusive relationship on top of it all and in 2016 I couldn't graduate because I failed English so I has to do it over the summer. I failed all my classes at college last semester. As horrible as it all was, I feel okay now. You are so precious. I don't know you. I don't care that you're gay. I care that you're alive. Keep trying. Write down three things you're happy for each day. Excercise more, get counseling and feel better. Do it for yourself. You are so amazing. Suicide isn't the answer. You only get one shot and one life. Be yourself. BE HAPPY. ❤️ I'm praying for you.

Answer 7

Listen, I m the same, but you know what keeps me alive?? This might not sit with you right, but, God doesnt accept suicides spirits back into heaven. The bottom line of all life is there are 2 sides, negativity and positivity. God is the king of positivity, and the devil is the king of negativity. All humans are spiritual beings, you can either be positive or negative. In positivity you are with God, and negative, you are with the devil. Suicide is negative. YOU wont be affected by your suicide, you ll be dead, you wont care, but it will affect loads of other people, which cause negativity. So, you dont have a place in heaven if you commit to suicide. IF you are gonna kill yourself, go and see the world first, live to the max, and do good for everyone you know. and if that doesnt work for your spirit, do it. I can safely say you ll feel better if you do all those things though. DO NOT LEAVE THIS PLANET WITHOUT SEEING IT FIRST!!

Answer 8

I agree with John 100%. The past year for me has been tough to say the least. I can somewhat understand how you feel; being a teenager in a place where you feel you don't belong; feeling helpless because you're still young and you don't have the freedom to change/fix some of the things in your life that make you feel miserable; having no shoulder to cry on and little to no support in your life; not being able to do well in studies because of everything.



This is just a phase in life that we're going through. I'm trying my very best to get through it and stay strong, I always remind myself that this life is worth fighting for. What matters isn't where you came from, it's where you're going. Set goals for yourself and strive to achieve them. When life kicks your *** (boy has it kicked mine in the last year lmao) you get right back up and you NEVER back down. If I can do it, so can you.



If you wanna talk,vent or you need advice, you can email me at [e-mail] and i'll always be there to listen.

Answer 9

I know everyone will tell you this, but it is true. Suicide isn't worth it.



A wise man once said that every life is unique, is special. Life itself is such a miracle, that every death is like the death of an entire universe.



I am not going to tell you about how it will hurt everyone around you, even though it will. I don't think you want to hear that right now.



The greeks believed that your luck was like a gian wheel. At any point in time, there is a point on top, and a point on bottom. Everyone is on the bottom sometimes, and it takes work to get to the top. But you will get there.



Life isn't easy, and it sounds like you have it rough. I have never been suicidal, so I can't relate, but I know that your life has a hell of a lot of value. If you want to prove those asshole bullies that you are better than them, start by standing back up when they beat you down.



You don't have to listen to me. I know I sound stupid. But lf I can help one person out, then life ain't so bad.

Answer 10

You know, the mind is a powerful thing and the truth is that it can make us or it can ruin us. NO ONE IS SET UP FOR FAILURE. Someone once said that Life is not interested in ruining you IT IS SIMPLY INDIFFERENT and that things merely happen to us. It is our mind that plays these role to ensure that we succeed or that we fail. I have gone through a fair share of problems and felt like committing suicide for more than i can count but it was due to the torment i was going through and most importantly, the state of my mind. I have gotten to understand that WE ARE MEANT TO FIGHT WITH EVERY SINGLE STRENGTH WE HAVE. You have to fight back. I have understood that everybody goes through a hard time and we have different life experiences that takes us to the lowest points of our lives. EVERYONE GOES THROUGH THIS BUT WITH DIFFERENT STORIES AND EXPERIENCES. But the funny thing here is that if you feel that your parents weren't up to this so you are bound for failure then that would be your life and you feel that you are not good enough, then that would reflect in your life everyday. So i need you to believe differently(Because it all starts in the mind) and to fight back and GIVE A DAMN TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS. Choose a goal(Anything you might have loved as a kid, when growing up or even now) and recycle your pain and channel all these negative vibe into a positive success by working on something and being good at it. It would increase your self worth and value. And every other thing would simply fall into play(not immediately but eventually and gradually). SO FIGHT BACK. SUICIDE HAS NEVER SOLVED ANYTHING IN THE REAL SENSE. We might not see you again, but we don't know what your consciousness is like wherever you are after that. PLEASE DON'T DO IT. FIGHT IT.

Answer 11

I've been feeling suicide too. I'm 29. No relationship with my parents or family. They were physically and emotionally abusive to me so I cut them out of my life. My wife is sick of my depression. Today she called me an Effin pitiful turd and I need to stop putting my depression on her. She can't deal with it anymore so she wants a divorce. I have no one to turn to or talk to, even my own wife won't listen to me. When I told her Im feeling suicidal she just said it's you're life and you can do whatever you want, I don't care.



For some reason I'm still here. I don't know why. I hooked up a hose from my exhaust to the window on my car. I just couldn't turn the ignition on. I have no family, friends, a wife that hates me, a really shitty job. If I can be strong enough to stay alive maybe you can too.

Answer 12

Sorry that you’re struggling. Your life is precious no matter what issues you’re facing. Please get some help right away -- tell someone who can assist you with how you are feeling. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (bit.ly/1lYmABO) operates toll-free, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Just call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Their TTY number is 1-800-799-4TTY. Your courage to live and face life’s challenges will inspire a lot of people. Be strong and take courage.

Answer 13

I do not know why you have such misperceptions whereas in my friend circle there are 2 gays and they are being treated special. I am not kidding but by living with them we have grown up a lot mentally. Whenever some of the classmates use to make fun of them , they use to take that very nicely and in a very unique way accept it. Also Smoking weed is not that bad if you do that in limitation.

Dude - You have been sent to planet earth because you are lucky, dont be so weak and lose like that. We all know you are stronger than that.

We all have been through that phase of life but it is important to move forward and find out a beautiful phase that is coming for you in near future.

Talk to me if you want. Hope to see next update soon...

Answer 14

Your are beautiful! You are valuable! You matter! Don't take your life. Your life means something to someone. If you do so, someone is going to be hurt. Do you want to hurt someone? I'm sorry that you're going through all of this but there's hope. Ignore the negative comments of others. People are cruel. Don't let their negativity get to you. Be the strong person that you are. You're not a screw up. Your grades have fallen because your focus has shifted to your pain. Pray to God and allow Him to guide you in the right direction. Seek inspiration from others who are where you want to be in life and continue to block negativity. People who constantly seek to harm others are the problem. Give your self more chances. You can be successful. :) You can have a happy life. If you want it, go after it and make it happen. Go for the good things you want. Remember you are beautiful! You are valuable! You matter!!! :)

Answer 15

I'm very familiar how you feel and I have to give you few words of hope based on my experience. You truly do not know yourself until you try to live in different environments. Food here in the west has been known to alter persons perception about their sexual orientation. Yes, believe it or not if you are fad certain foods and certain chemicals it can alter your perception of your sexuality and orientation. You are on a very good track you have realized what is causing your suffering, it is your environment. So what you should seek is a totally different environment. Opposite of what you are in right now. GO to Russia, China something other than the western world which is pretty much the ghetto version of the USA. Stop thinking about suicide because that is a sin per bible i.e. God. Your parents are not the ones who brought you to this world, its God. God gave you this life for you to learn from it so learn from it but do not damage the gift (life that God gave you). How would you feel if the gift you gave someone was trashed? It would upset me for example so do not upset God. Prey to God to guide you and remember, when you re going through hell, keep going....

Answer 16

I feel you. Most of the things I can relate to. But what I do is i think of the future. Think positive, think about you going to college, having awesome friends, a good life , after college, traveling the world, etc. this always helps me knowing there's hope for that and the time will come. You just have to believe you can do it. Say you'll get through it even if you don't believe it. Trust me you will! Try to lessen down all the negative thoughts and do things you love to make you happy but also responsible things that you wouldn't want to mess with for the future.

Answer 17

Please don't commit suicide. I know how you feel cause I also have a ****** up life, but still suicide isn't the answer. Once you leave home and can build up a life for yourself things will get better I promise. Concerning weed, I smoke pot daily but if you do it in a smart way it shouldn't interfere with your schoolwork, only improve it. Try finishing your homework and only smoking pot after it's done. That way it'll be more enjoyable and help you relieve stress during exams/stressfull school situations. You can do it, I believe in you

Answer 18

Sometimes the life we've created (or that we feel we were handed) becomes unbearable. DO NOT quit! Trust me things will change. Lark said it well. i would like to add that it is precisely that feeling that you can't do anything to change your circumstances that causes you to think about ending your life. It's a lie! You CAN change things. You just need to be willing to make the necessary changes. Usually it's out of fear of change or hurting others that we think we can't, but you CAN and you MUST. Sometimes a little pain and discomfort now is necessary for happiness and reaching whatever it is you desire in the future. We get so lost in avoiding immediate discomfort that we can never reach goals that require delayed gratification. In the mean time talk to someone. We all need love and support. There are folks on here willing to listen, Including myself.

Answer 19

Let it run through and out the other side. There is no future in suicide. There is no hope, no happiness, no chance of doing good. Someone out there needs you as a companion. You need to love yourself so you can love another. No one said it would be easy but we all have the same battles which make us stronger. To give up inspires others to do the same thing. There is no gain in giving up. I need you to live.

Answer 20

This horror will grow mild, this darkness light;

Besides what hope the never-ending flight

Of future days may bring, what chance, what change

Worth waiting--since our present lot appears

For happy though but ill, for ill not worst,

If we procure not to ourselves more woe.

― John Milton



This basically says that while you live there is hope for a better tomorrow. As long as you do not do anything to increase your misery, you can survive what you already have. If you could not, then you would already be gone.





This keeps me going on my dark days.



Even if society as a whole cannot accept you for whatever reason and you feel alone. There is always someone out there who can love and accept you as a flawed Human Being. And we are ALL of us flawed.

Answer 21

You have a lot on your plate and life can be very hard. You do however also have some really good qualities. You are reaching out for help and there are lots of people willing to give you a hand up. You have shown the ability to earn a 4.0 grade average and can do that again with effort. You have refrained from cutting for some time and are to be commended. Hopefully you see a good therapist to help with your outlook on life. You can set your own sail independent from you aunt and uncle. I would encourage you to reach out for professional help, see a school counselor, and sit down and set some goals to improve your future. You have the power to overcome this and can work through this difficult time. Surround yourself with people who encourage you and ignore those who try and drag you down. Keep reaching out and live!

Crisis Counselor TO

Answer 22

You need to set some goals in your life both physical and mental strive to get top grades in your studies and accomplish a goal physically maybe run a 5 minute mile for starters, also learn to play a musical instrument. By doing these things you'll be achieving much more out of life and you'll also meet more people.

Answer 23

I feel so bad for you!! That must be so horrible having all those addicts around you. But suicide is certainly NOT the answer!! Grades can always be improved. They are never permanently failing. Once you improve them, see if you can get out of that environment and get away from those people!!



You deserve a happy, stress free life. Don't hurt yourself. People care about you. Good luck with those grades!! I KNOW you can improve them :)

Answer 24

You don't say how old you are.



Get a job and be responsible for yourself. Move away from all the problems. Be alone, if you can't be with others. It's YOUR job to repair your life, not other people.



Nobody says that you MUST be sexual. You must eat and sleep, thats all. Get your priorities straight.



Suicide won't punish those who you feel are responsible for your present situation/condition. Fix yourself.



Good luck.

Answer 25

If you have nobody who is really going to care you don't eat food for them do you what ever you do don't be a problem and go in the woods are something don't do it in sombdys house jump off a building be the best way but before you do make for sure you take out all the ones that made you decide to do it first good luck may God be with you

Answer 26

What you are feeling is temporary, you are depressed. See a doctor ASAP and get anti depressants and counselling - they can really help ! It also helps to exercise, eat healthily and take EPA fish oils and a good multi vitamin. Your grandparents obviously love you, and I'm sure other people do too.

Try a new hobby or evening class to have fun and meet new people and take time to relax each day. It will get better, I'm here to talk if you want x

Answer 27

Everyone's life is fvcked up, and we all fvck up sometimes. But, we all tough it out. People in Africa, the Middle East, and other parts of the world would trade lives with you, and none of them think suicide. I don't like my life, but I would rather be alive to experience it than be dead. Does being dead sound good to you? No. But, that's what you are thinking to do. Be dead. For what? Just because your mom and dad smoked before? And, so, you're gay. Everyone accepts that now, so what's the problem?



Live the life you want, but don't kill yourself over it.

Answer 28

Suicide Will never be a good answer to life problems. I have a lot a friends who have tried to kill themselves and it hurts friends and family. And even if you live with your grandparents it will hurt them deeply. These bad times for you will pass by just let life go on. AGAIN Suicide is such a bad thought.

Answer 29

You need to get professional help right away! Suicide is NEVER the right answer! You need to see a psychiatrist, break the weed addiction(you might need the help of a doctor for that) and you need to realize that even though things look bad now, there have been people who were worse off and built lives they were happy with, you can too!!! I will keep you in my prayers!!!

Answer 30

When you feel trapped , as you seem to be, in a world of pain, it is sensible to find and escape. You have already shown courage and a will to live by ceasing to cut but in order to take the next step towards a better and happier life I feel that you need to reach out for the adult help and support that your family cannot provide.

Speak to a teacher or school counselor being as honest as you have been here. You have intelligence and courage and huge potential do not waste them.

Answer 31

You know you are smart, life can be a f uped game . Stay away from the drugs that will not make anything better trust me. for now as best you can stay away from the family. think of what it is at this point that you would like to be doing.there are many people you can help at any age a good person is a good person and we all need them and do better when they are around. you are young and have so much to offer all of us you just don't realize that yet. In time you will. look at the people who are good around you you may not know them all but they are there. To me you are a person God put on this earth and is hoping you will find YOUR path what makes you happy. I am not someone who is going to push God on you in any way. I think what I want to think about God and he wants and love's everybody. That is how my God is. Please don't be another good person to leave to early in life.You have to much to teach others about.

Answer 32

Im in the same situation as u. My mom died when i was 8 from a drug overdose when she was 30 and i havent seen my dad in about 12 years due to him having issues with alcohol and am also being raised by my grandparents. Ive felt this way before but please dont do anything to harm yourself. I know how much life might suck right now and u might not feel like u will go anywhere but just please stay alive so u can see how much better the future could be for u. Please stay strong. I bet ur parents would want u to succeed and live the best life that u could.

Answer 33

1) Quit smoking weed. That'll make you suicidal.

2) Quit smoking tobacco. If you want to smoke cigarettes, just kill yourself now, it's faster. Cigarettes are for losers.

3) You don't need parents to have a great life. Find something other than smoking and get your grades back in line.

Answer 34

sorry that you’re struggling... your life is precious no matter what issues you’re facing... pleease get some help right away -- tell someone who can assist you with how you are feeling... the national suicide prevention lifeline (bit...ly/1lymabo) operates toll-free, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week... just call 1-800-273-talk (8255)... their tty number is 1-800-799-4tty... your courage to live and face life’s challenges shall inspire a lot of people... be strong and take courage...

Answer 35

I'm sorry you are going through so much stress and negativity in your life. I would suggest you look for a support group for people who are also gay. Or a group of smokers. Or a group of people who have parents who are drug addicts. I know how it feels to want to end my own life but each day I meet a new person who I can relate to. It will get better. Bless you.

Answer 36

Suicide is never the option. I've lost 10 good people in my life this past year and many pets. I've thought about it but seriously it's not the answer.

Answer 37

Things are going to get better even if they seem hopeless. For example, I have a relative who was sentenced to life in prison for murder even if he was innocent. But he stayed strong and after 14 years, he was released because the witness recanted. Another example is Mandela who spent around 30 years in prison. He stayed strong and he was finally released and managed to become president of his country and did a lot of good and had a great and happy life because he decided to stay alive.There was a time, I felt hopeless and miserable, now I am very happy I decided to stay alive..

Answer 38

Being selected as a best answer is also running through my mind

Answer 39

Suicide is never an option don't even think about it. Just think, you don't want to be like them, you are not going to be like them. Just think about your future, to be able to look back and see everything you have done. Just think that you can be better. Is not gonna be ok in one day. and so what if you are gay, **** them. Take a deep breath, with me it helps to write. Write everything you feel if you don't want to talk to anyone yet. Everything is going to be ok just don't go to that dark place that has you thinking like that. Look for help you are never alone.

Answer 40

Suicide is never solution of any problem. Think positive, think about your friends and your awesome life.God created you for a purpose despite any failure you feel. You enjoy your life, you are not alone in this world many people are faced various problem, if every people think suicide is only solution of their problem then no people leave in this world. so suicide is not solution of your problem.

Answer 41

So you are just going to give up? Yes, things are not good for you but things are not good for many people but they do not give up. Many people love you especially your grandparents who have probably given up alot to bring you up. Are you going to now throw it back in their faces? There are many people dying of cancer and would give anything to be healthy again and yet you are healthy and are contemplating ending your life..sorry but its selfish! There are organisations that can help you but at the end of the day, it down to you to sort your life out. Are you going to let these bullies win, because if you commit suicide, you have let them win. Do you want to end up a druggie lke your parents? Give up the weed as it only makes you feel worse and stop the self harming. Go and see your Dr and ask for help. Take control of your life and work hard at school and eventually you can get a good job and a better life. You never know what good things are waiting for you in life but its up to you. Oh and yes I have been there and its takes hard work and determination to sort your life out but it can be done. Good luck!

Answer 42

I know everyone will tell you this, but it is true. Suicide isn't worth it.



A wise man once said that every life is unique, is special. Life itself is such a miracle, that every death is like the death of an entire universe.

Answer 43

Life can be so hard on some and so easy for others.Never give up on life,you will find happiness when you are of an age to go out where you want whenever you want'Your sexuality is not an issue.Sure 30-40 years ago it would have been much much worse however most people are accepting homosexuality so dont be brought down by narrow minded bigots.School kids will always pick on anyone who shows any change from the norm however even them when they mature will regret how they had treated you.

Answer 44

This is gonna sound horrible but people have had worse lives then you. Get clean go to school and have a life you still have the future ahead of you some people aren't that lucky

Answer 45

If you were to do that then you let them win. The best thing you can do to pay them back is by living well. Doing the best you can to take care of yourself and your life. You are worth if you want to be. But you have to look inside your self and find the reasons for liking yourself.You are better than they are because you still care.They do not. Please don't allow them to take you from the rest of us who still do care. They are winning and we are losing.We need you to help us fight the good fight. To keep on caring.So many do not. Please don't let them take another one. Dear friend. Look up narcissism and psychopathy.I think it will explain a lot.

Answer 46

well , sir...with your kind permission- you're young enough to be my son- to begin with...

you're at the utmost age of growing and flourishing in every way-on one hand- and a very difficult age too, on the other hand...

it sounds to me you're depressed and traumatised deeply and severely enough -and it's clear why...

there has /ve to be some other way out for you...

suicide should NEVER-EVER be the answer...

I beg you- from the depths of my heart and soul:refrain, repeat-REFRAIN from ANY form of even trying to self- harm or take your own life - whatsoever...

Answer 47

Well at least. You have an ability to run and walk. You can read and write. You can see and you can hear. So what ? You are not in a Wheel Chair or you are Physically disabled. Are you unemployed ? Are you having financial difficulties ? Are you broke ? ?

Answer 48

Have affirmations, Fill yourself with positive vibes none the less what the world throws at you. Don't underestimate yourself. All shall believe the potential one carries. Rise up buddy, there is so much more to life than what our young blind eyes see. Over time we will start to see the bigger picture. There is greatness in your future, as long as thou believes.. Good luck, and may the lord above all bless you.

Answer 49

I don't smoke cigarettes but thanks lmao, I never said I needed parents to have a good life, I'm just saying it's ****** I don't have them. And I am trying to stop smoking weed, I'm in True North.. But I guess I can't even try to get a little help on here without people belittling me

Answer 50

Therapy

Answer 51

Like they say...suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Life is fought, but you will one day do fantastic things in this world. Keep your head up.

Answer 52

Don't kill yourself or you will ended up going to hell . These are trials on your life. Don't be down . It is not like you had the only one who had a problem in this world. You need some positive attitude .

Answer 53

Talk to your school counselor. You need professional therapy if you have suicidal thoughts which are a symptom of depression

Answer 54

Suicide is a sin that will punish you for eternity, you need help, instead of asking it here, you need to call 911, & have the Police come & check on you.



That's all I can say, & god bless you :)

Answer 55

sometimes the life we've created (or that we feel we were handed) becomes unbearable... do not quit! trust me things shall change... lark said it well... i would like to add that it is precisely that feeling that you for the life of me cannot do anything to change your circumstances that causes you to think about ending your life... it's a lie! you can change things... you just need to be shalling to make the necessary changes... usually it's out of fear of change or hurting others that we think we for the life of me cannot, but you can and you must... sometimes a little pain and discomfort now is necessary for happiness and reaching whatever it is you desire in the future... we get so lost in avoiding immediate discomfort that we can never reach goals that require delayed gratification... in the mean time talk to someone... we all need love and support... there are folks on here shalling to listen, including myself...

Answer 56

i'm very familiar how you feel and i have to give you few words of hope based on my experience... you truly do not know yourself until you try to live in different environments... food here in the west has been known to alter persons perception about their sugarual orientation... yeah, believe it or not if you are fad certain foods and certain chemicals it can alter your perception of your sugaruality and orientation... you are on a very good track you have realized what is causing your suffering, it is your environment... so what you should seek is a totally different environment... opposite of what you are in right now... go to russia, china something other than the western world which is pretty much the ghetto version of the usa... stop thinking about suicide 'cause that is a sin per bible i...e... god... your parents are not the ones who brought you to this world, its god... god gave you this life for you to learn from it so learn from it but do not damage the gift (life that god gave you)... how would you feel if the gift you gave someone was trashed? it would upset me for example so do not upset god... prey to god to guide you and remember, when you re going through hell, keep going............

Answer 57

your are beautiful! you are valuable! you matter! don't take your life... your life means something to someone... if you do so, someone is going to be hurt... do you want to hurt someone? i'm sorry that you're going through all of this but there's hope... ignore the negative comments of others... people are cruel... don't let their negativity get to you... be the strong person that you are... you're not a screw up... your grades have fallen 'cause your focus has shifted to your pain... pray to god and allow him to guide you in the right direction... seek inspiration from others who are where you want to be in life and continue to block negativity... people who constantly seek to harm others are the problem... give your self more chances... you can be successful... :) you can have a happy life... if you want it, go after it and make it happen... go for the good things you want... remember you are beautiful! you are valuable! you matter!!! :)

Answer 58

i feel you... most of the things i can relate to... but what i do is i think of the future... think positive, think about you going to college, having awesome friends, a good life , after college, traveling the world, etc... this always helps me knowing there's hope for that and the time shall come... you just have to believe you can do it... say you'll get through it even if you don't believe it... trust me you shall! try to lessen down all the negative thoughts and do things you love to make you happy but also responsible things that you wouldn't want to mess with for the future...

Answer 59

i do not know why you have such misperceptions whereas in my friend circle there are 2 gays and they are being treated special... i am not kidding but by living with them we have grown up a lot mentally... whenever some of the classmates use to make fun of them , they use to take that very nicely and in a very unique way accept it... also smoking weed is not that bad if you do that in limitation...

dude - you have been sent to planet earth 'cause you are lucky, dont be so weak and lose like that... we all know you are stronger than that...

we all have been through that phase of life but it is important to move forward and find out a beautiful phase that is coming for you in near future...

talk to me if you want... hope to see next update soon.........

Answer 60

One is either too brave or too cowardly to commit suicide or One is either too brave or too cowardly to NOT commit suicide.



Either way, suicide is a matter of mistaken identity.



You must eliminate the confusing paradox.



If you must kill anything, kill the attitude that makes suicide an option. Then you will be the master of yourself.

Answer 61

Just eat green peppers...trust me it helps😊

Answer 62

no

Answer 63

If life is hell, how does dying compensate? Get yourself together. Face your fears, have the courage of your convictions. You don't die to make things better for yourself or anyone. I know it may be hard for you to understand right now. And I will grant that you might have a hard time. But it's a permanent solution to a temporary condition.

Answer 64

ASK JESUS FOR GUIDANCE AND STRENGTH....FIGHT OFF THOSE WRONG THOUGHTS..

Answer 65

I guess something within you is wanting change and you already know that what your are doing is not working.



So I guess could you could take a leap of faith and talk to your Doc. Sometimes it helps to voice some thoughts. Maybe short round of meds might help you.



Your grand parents obviously wanted you, in regards to your parents it their own pain that cause them to medicate in that way, really they need help too. But only they can do that. Despite you being pushed aside they probably have no idea because of their own suffering. Maybe one day the will get clean and realise. For now, all you can do is focus on your life and and things you have power over to change.



Try and be kind to yourself, it worth a try.

Answer 66

I'm praying for you……Please think twice and try your best to face the difficulties in your life!I'm sure if you make an effort to live a better life,everything you missed in the past will come back in the future,just like Vivian Daly in Orphan Train.

I am a high school student from China,and since I entered the school,all my classmates laughed at me because of my strange behaviours.My grades dropped rapidly,from the No.1 in 800 students to the No.500.However, every time I walk out of my classroom,thinking that it's time for me to end my life,there's always a sound talking to me,saying that I shouln't leave the world at such a young age.

That is my English teacher.The moment I met her 5 years ago ,we became good friends immediately.She is so kind that every time I think of suicide,her warm smile will flash through my mind,which encourages me to stay positive and brave.

That is why I don't give up ,even though everything seems hopeless.There is still someone who cares me and loves me,why must I choose to leave the world ,leaving her feeling sad?She loves me ,and what I can do to reciprocate he kindness is to stay alive and keep up my courage to get over the obstacles.

You say that you are raised by your grandparents---It's certain that they care you,even though the love is hidden in the bottom of their heart instead of being told to you directly .If they don't,why don't they leave you alone?Even though they don't treat you so well,look at the 120 answers------Apparently ,there are many people who share the similar experience and understand your feelings to some degree.There 're also many people who want you to stay alive.Do you think that it is absurd to leave the world after receiving so much help from others?

Even though the whole life seems to betray you,there is always someone who loves you,no matter you know or don't know.

And,If you want to start from the beginning,there are many things to do,which are very easy.For example,smile to a stranger while taking the underground,take a small trip to relax yourself and keep diary.

Remember that it's never too late to start your new life,and I'm sure you can make it !You are brave !

You can email me at [e-mail].I'm willing to make friends with you!



God bless you.

Answer 67

through your suicide mind in drain.

Answer 68

please don't do it, because my cousin made a REALLY bad choice 2 weeks ago



:(

Answer 69

Once you commit suicide. There is no going back. I can't imagine or presume to be in your shoes, but you don't want to die. Life ALWAYS, and I say ALWAYS gets better. If not now, then in a month. Year. Don't do it. Please!

Answer 70

This is your story buddy god created you for a reason and this is the way he chose you to be never give up on life you'll find happiness best wishes

Answer 71

take small steps like start by quitting the weed because that isn't helping with all these thoughts and perhaps see a specialist through school or college your gp can recommend one too

Answer 72

Don't do it. If you do, you can't come back. At least not physically. Seek help, a therapist, medication, yoga, exercise etc. You are loved and you can overcome this.

Answer 73

1) quit smoking weed... that'll make you suicidal...

2) quit smoking tobacco... if you want to smoke cigarettes, just kill yourself now, it's faster... cigarettes are for losers...

3) you don't need parents to have a awesome life... find something other than smoking and get your grades back in line...

Answer 74

Dont u dare be a product of What people would EXPECT OF U SHINE ON MY FRIEND.FLY from the coup,get away from all who brings u down.I do KNOW how u feel really but one day I said to myself around17 I left and stayed with good people got a job bought a car and I traveled on ? That day saved me ....but, dont trust everyone tho

Answer 75

we have to keep our mind on

other things like run a block

jog a block, cook something new.

make a new friend, I'm your friend

hi friend write some more Ok hi.

Answer 76

I'm going through this too, well some of it like tho suicidal thoughts and selfharm thoughts if u see this please text me on Skype or kik (both trouble3874) I'll help u as much as I can.

Answer 77

I know people in Africa who never had a chance to school,go to bed hungry most of the time,live without electricity or running water...BUT THEY ARE HAPPY.





Read your bible,it will make you happy too.Start in the book of John.

Answer 78

Let it run out of your mind, and off a building.

Answer 79

NO! Suicide is never the answer! Talk to someone you are very close to.

Answer 80

call a crisis line, eat something if you feel hungry, go for a walk if you must wait for a bus thats delayed to get you to the ER for psych services. Good luck.

Answer 81

Stay strong man I'm feeling same

Answer 82

Right. What's the meaning of living such a futile life. Go die. No wait, let me tell you something. I love you, stay.

Answer 83

Okay let's just talk I might be gay to and I might have depression and I'm 13 just add me on snapchat at( miguel.magana24) or DM on Ista grand at(miguel.11.fun) and just talk

Answer 84

Suicide is not perfect solutions of the problem. The solution is the patience of mind.

Answer 85

Don't kill yourself because eventually your situation will end but it's up to you to not be soft.

Answer 86

Drink a few beers and have a laugh

Answer 87

stop being a pussy, we all have been through some ****. but suicide is not answer.

Answer 88

Many feel the same today with Trump stealing the Presidency. Just do it.

Answer 89

other people have the same problems or it happens to people but they work through it

Answer 90

I don't want to deny what you say here. Just for my curiosity, please tell me . Now (at present) at what speed it is running through your MIND.

Answer 91

message me if you need someone to talk to, i've had alot of the same issues... we can talk if you need it will get better though, I know you hear that alot but it will

Answer 92

Praying you won't

Answer 93

I hope he's not carrying scissors!

Answer 94

Its not worth it man

Answer 95

keep running keep running

Answer 96

No don't do it

Answer 97

meditate, leave the meat alone , just nuts and fruits ,



and watch your whole aura change.

Answer 98

Why

Answer 99

Yeah. I read the book too.

Answer 100

http://viid.me/qanrCq

Answer 101

call this hotline (911)

Answer 102

Well you better catch it

Answer 103

it is very bad,,but why are u suicide ,,i hope you are not yet it...

Answer 104

That terrible.

Answer 105

Please talk to Jesus...No one will ever love you more. He created you for a reason....You are special, unique, choosen... YOU WILL WIN!!!!!!

Answer 106

sounds as though you are right.

Answer 107

Well good for you.

Answer 108

Please, stay alive. You were put here by God Almighty for a purpose. He loves you and has great plans for you.

Please watch and listen closely - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmROrArQFkk&t=615s

Answer 109

Can I have your room?

Answer 110

Your not alone

Answer 111

Just do it pussy #noballs

Answer 112

Kill yourself

Answer 113

try this website http://bit.ly/2au1qS5

Answer 114

this is hilarious

Answer 115

do it

Answer 116

oh no

Answer 117

Life will get better, please don't give up!

Answer 118

please be strong and ask god for help.

Answer 119

Please call a sucide hotline...

Answer 120

dont do it wtf bro