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for the Elimination of Sorrows>>
What is sorrow?
Perhaps nobody knows, though everybody feels.
So, what is NOT sorrow?
Because this is a question that comes from emptiness, which is why we never seem to ask it, it cannot be answered right now. That is why we may at best say that it is so nice a question that it need not be answered; rather, what it needs to be is explored as a question so as to perceive its full significance.
One who asks this question either to himself or to somebody else - with an intention to get an answer, cannot find the 'answer' because he cannot go beyond the expectation of an answer. In most cases an answer gets translated into the notion of a solution when there is an expectation of an answer. And then the mind mistakes the answer for the solution and learns to blame the knowledge by putting aside action. When the mind looks forward to a solution, it accepts the concept of problem to be true.
But in reality an answer need not be a solution to a problem. The question need not be considered a problem. The question arises because I there is a problem in the person who is experiencing the reality in a way that he thinks should have been felt in another way. It does in no way signify a problem or anomaly in the reality about which it is asked.
Understanding the real significance of a question is the best answer that can ever be honestly expected, the process of seeking this answer being the action constituting the entire range of responsibility as a human being.
So what is sorrow?
To begin with, who is asking the question? If the person asking the question is asking it about his own sorrow, then perhaps fifty percent of the answer is already received!
Does a sorrowful mind ever ask the question to itself: What is sorrow? If it did, then perhaps the mind could see the reality without having to philosophize at all.
And let us ask another question: Why do we become up and doing to do the needful to eliminate sorrow as we believe/feel it without or before even knowing what it really is? How do I determine that sorrow as I know it is harmful and not beneficial? Why do I ask questions about MY SORROWS rather than about what SORROW ITSELF is? Why do we call a feeling sorrow? We could well call it PLEASURE if we somehow failed to identify it, couldn’t we? All feelings are feelings; still why do we call one sorrow and one pleasure? If I did not give everybody a name, maybe all women would seem to me to be the same and the same about all men too. So could we identify sorrow without the name we have happened to attach to it? Could we identify it as merely one of the feelings such as envy, regret, anger, etc?
And here is what we may call Question Therapy, if you would like to call it so. It heals the mind as well as the total psyche by disentangling the creative knowledge-building process inside. It involves putting a feeling, an inner feeling, to question, so that it, while it is active on the level of the feeling, gets reflected on the level of thought and thus gets emancipated from action, when it can no longer influence action. When a feeling can no longer determine the action, it becomes an object of knowledge rather than a factor of events. Then it cannot affect the quality of living.
"What", the reader might ask, "Do you mean by influencing, then?" I will answer this question first. To influence means to affect something, to bring about a change in the way it acts or behaves or exists. For example, I expose my body to the sun for too long a time and my skin color changes. I say that sun rays have affected my skin.
However, this kind of effect does not necessarily mean an influence. We use the word 'influence' of events needing psychological involvement. For example, I go about in the sun for a long time and come back home and still see that I have a mind as I had before. In that case it is said to have had no influence on me. "What", you may again ask, "Is influence, then? I would say that an influence is the restructuring of the flow or movement of energy so that there is a change in the CHOICE or DECISION. If the CHOICE is not affected, there is no influence.
So we were talking about Question Therapy. Questioning the feeling. How? By simply looking at it. By feeling the feeling, which creates thought, and then by thinking the thought, not thinking "about" the thought.
If a feeling can be estranged from action, meaning that it no longer influences choices of action, the result of the action will not be compared with the state of mind that prevailed when the action took place. This means that there will be no compunction, no measurement of the outcome of the action. In that way a feeling ceases to be related to time, either the past or the future. The result is that then the inner feeling ceases to involve time. And then … no thought. No judgment. No focus on the outcome of the activity; only doing the activity. No plan of life in the FEELING, although there may be a lot of planning on the intellectual level. Then there is no story of life; there is only living.
True that what we are talking about may not happen so easily. But in fact, it need not happen at all if the fact is known precisely. Then the knowledge itself would transform living and life.
Putting something to question means looking at it from a distance. Psychologically this distancing means the divorcing of the feeling from choices and decisions. The intention to act gets liberated from the direction of the feeling. Freedom. In the beginning this phenomenon will certainly create some mental strain but soon a time will come when the intention itself will produce action without the counter-activity of judgment and so there will be no inner conflict. Then the intention will be holistic and emancipated from desires. Intention is the direct flow of energy, while desire is the flow of energy felt as an interaction with conditioning. Conditioning, being the past, crates a fictitious feeling of gap between the judgment of the result of action and the desire. Consequently, we suffer fictitious sorrows.
Intention freed from desires represents the necessity of action on the part of the entire universe. Then that intention is action itself. Fulfillment. No waiting for future results or the judgment of the results. Infinite amount of energy is saved. The energy that would be wasted in keeping the feeling and thinking active will come back to the source.
Then YOU are the SOURCE.
And there is no sorrow at the source.
The knowledge of sorrows eliminates sorrows.
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Recycling Emotions
What is Emotion?
A human being is, in a sense, a bundle of emotions. We have anger, hatred, envy, sorrow, sympathy, disappointment, boredom etc. These are called emotions. They are reactions of the mind to events. The events may be external or internal. For example, I may become angry because someone has scolded me or because I feel hungry. However, events arouse emotions in the mind only when the mind feels the need to react to them. So, at a more basic level, emotions are the mind’s reactions to the body’s feelings. This is why different people react differently to the same event. They way they feel the event may be different for individuals. And actually it is. For example, if I am anxious or frightened or ill, I will react to a funny comment of my friends in a way that would be substantially different than if I were not ill or happy or not frightened. This discovery encourages us to conclude that rather than trying to control emotions, it would be far more sensible and effective to understand the way we perceive stimuli. Unless we change the way we perceive, we cannot change the way emotions bring about results for us in our activities. More importantly, we need to know what perception is and why we perceive things in different ways if we want to change ourselves at all.
We are going to explore and not to accept any concept as given. There can be no textbook of the mind as far as attaining a certain state of mind or changing the mind is concerned. In such eases the approach and attitude of a researcher is better than that of a specialist. The specialist wants to teach mostly because he cannot learn any more; because he cannot bear the burden of the knowledge he thinks he has; and not necessarily because he feels that what he knows is so valuable that others will be benefited by sharing it. The specialist seems more addicted to the vocabulary of knowledge than bona-fide learning.
Usually we define anger in a certain way. For example, what Mr. X calls anger is also called anger by Mr. Y. In this ways we secure a uniform definition, no doubt, but we can hardly attain to the truth. The definition of anger and anger are two different things. The fact that they are two different things will be clear if the following question, which need not be answered, is considered:
Can a person define anger when he or she is angry?
The same structure of questioning can be used of other emotions, such as:
Can a person define envy when he or she is envious? Or
Can a person define disappointment when he or she is disappointed?
An emotion is defined only by a person who has observed the causes, activity, and result of an emotion by another person. In this way knowledge is divorced from the fact, as a result of which some people can become talking glossaries of specialized terms or jargons to stupefy others. It is easy to be a specialist by making something difficult.
While defining an emotion, such as anger, in a certain way, we happen to ignore the fact that such a definition does not represent that emotion; rather, it only refers to it. That is why the study of such definitions cannot help change life. A definition can never represent a fact. It can at best describe some features of a certain reality viewed from a specific angle. While somebody may be angry for a certain reason, another person may not be so. That is why knowing about an emotion may not benefit us. We can only ‘know about’ an emotion; we can never know it. However, we can search for it and then look at it, until, surprisingly, we are convinced that we can never see it. An attempt to see that which cannot be seen yet which seems to exist, provides the correct knowledge of ... not of that thing (because it is not a ‘thing’ at all), but of the fact which involves that perception. There can be no way more direct than this.
Can we see another person’s anger? No. We can only define it.
Can we define our anger? No. We can only attempt to see it. And only then can we see that it does not exist any more. And this is the only way of changing life.
Now the question is: What is it that we should try to see? I do not say that you need to believe that emotions do not exist. Rather, I would at best say that it will so happen that when you attempt to see an emotion you will see that it does not exist any more. You can guess the truth of it even without really making the attempt. That is because the guessing in this case is akin to the seeing. If that is the case, then we may be concerned about why we think an emotion exists. And we may close this paragraph by making the readymade answer that we think that an emotion exists as long as we do not make an earnest attempt to see it. The energy saved from the absence of the attempt to see itself creates the thought. However, again, what is it that is to be seen?
In fact, nothing needs to be seen. What is there to see if there is nothing that can be seen? Therefore, the attempt to see is the most important task in this connection. But again, if there is nothing that can be seen, and if there is nothing to see, then why is the question of seeing at all? This is a very relevant question. The answer is: There should be an attempt to see the thought that “there exists an emotion”. This attempt, if earnest, will use up the energy that would create the thought. The result is predictable: The emotion will get nipped in the bud.
But what does an emotion’s getting nipped in the bud mean? Does it mean that the energy is lost? Certainly not. When the emotion is nullified with understanding it loses its directional bias, that is, the mode of reaction, and the energy attains a state of permanency. While emotional energy is localized and space-time-bound, acting as automatic instinct, emotion-free energy is uniform, permanent, waste-free, and universal.
At this moment the reader may ask: Does not emotion mean energy, then? If it is energy, then what happens to energy when the emotion is no more? This question, if it may have arisen in your mind, will make you wiser. Emotion is not energy, although we started the article saying that it is. In fact, emotion is a specific EXPRESSION of energy, a certain, biased movement of energy. It can be compared with a wave, which is not the sea, that is energy, and still which is the play of the sea, the interplay of the sea with the wind. [to be continued]
How to Look at Emotions:
You can look at emotions only when you are emotional. But you have to acquire the ability, the eye, right now. So let us see how to look at emotions.
The practice should begin when there is the feeling of an emotion. Take anger for example. We all become or tend to become angry time and again. Sometimes the intensity is high, sometimes low. The practice is likely to be most successful when one is slightly angry. As soon as you feel you are angry, do the following things:
• Remove you eyesight from the object of anger.
• Take a deep breath and then exhale normally and try to feel relieved.
• Close your eyes and feel that you are angry. At this stage do not bother about who you are angry with.
• Then ask yourself the question:
Who is angry?
Who am I?
• Then ask another question:
What does anger mean?
• Then ask still another question:
Is anger more powerful for me?
• Give a smile and leave the place for some time if your anger has not abated yet.
By this time you may not have any more anger left. However, while this is the instant way of dissolving anger, you need to do something more on a regular basis to prevent yourself from the attack of anger. You must UNDERSTAND, and NOT JUST KNOW, why anger, and in fact any emotion, arises at all.
Emotion and Relationship:
Anger, like all other emotions, is a reaction of the mind to internal or external stimuli. I may become angry if I feel very hungry and get no food. Or I may get angry if somebody scolds me. In both the cases, anger is seen to be a way of building relationship with events. If, for example, my father or brother ... gives me certain scolding, I may not feel angry. But if the same scolding comes from another person, I may burst out into uncontrollable anger.
If, however, I could manage my anger somehow or other, in the case of somebody else scolding me, probably he or she would become a close friend of mine and I would have another relative without any cost.
Likewise, if I fail to manage my anger when any of my family members scolds me, then I may lose that relationship.
So we see that anger is not only a way of building relationships with others, it is also determined by the type of relationship that we feel we have with others. Therefore we can never manage it without knowing what RELATIONSHIP is and why there happens to be any relationship at all among people. Even if we concentrate of anger, we may not be able to manage it. Unless the origin of anger is found, there can be no permanent control over anger. And this is true of any emotion.
Thus we see that anger is a consequence of our ignorance of relationships. If, perhaps, I knew what relationship I have with you, really knew and felt, then I would not get angry with you for many of your conducts or behaviors. Again, if I knew my relationships with my son, then probably I would get angry with him in the required amount in the case of his unjust behavior with others his unethical treatment of situations, although usually I happen to be an indulging parent to him in most such cases.
On the other hand, if I knew what relationship I must build with others, with complete conviction that that is the only way of my self-fulfillment, I could understand how to react to events that they create.
However, most of the time our idea of relationship happens to be a product of our concept of life and motives. For example, we try to keep good relationships with our customers and a competitive relationship with our rivals. I do not say that such motives are either good or bad. Motives must always be there as long as we are supposed to create results by activities. But we must also ask ourselves some questions to clear the traffic jam of the mind:
Do we use our relationships to achieve our motive? Or
Do we build relationships in order to achieve a motive? Or
Do we consider building relationships a goal in itself?
These questions are very critical and must be asked and considered with an intention to compare each with the other. Not until the mind is amply disordered in the required way can there be a meaningful order established in it. Therefore, rather than looking for an answer given by another person, just look inside yourself and try to feel the import of the questions together. You do not need an answer; what you need is a proper understanding of your own mind; the structure of your own psyche.
To understand emotions is to understand life. To understand life means to see everything in its right place. If we are able to see something in its right place, it will not arouse (localized or biased) emotions in an unjust way. This point is very important. Emotion and justice. It is because of the possibility of doing injustice that the necessity of controlling or understanding emotions arises or is felt. Otherwise nobody would be required to bother about them. Certainly, we do not even think of controlling or understanding hunger or sexual appetite. If ever we do think about these things, we think of dow to possibly increase them to the fullest.
So, let me repeat, to understand something in its right place is what is really important. And that goal is achieved in the simplest way by understanding emotions in their right place. Hundreds of thousands of scientists will take thousands of years to understand events and things in their right place but a spiritual researcher can do so simply by understanding emotions in their right place. To do this he has to be very sensitive to himself.
So we conclude that knowing things in their right place means knowing emotions in their right place. Hopefully, this is true of all emotions, not just of any particular emotion like anger.
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The Mystery and Power of Patience
In the very beginning, let me tell you that patience is not a virtue. Nobody who wants to have patience in order to cultivate a virtue by following others have it cannot have it at all. Rather, the truth is that those who are already virtuous can have patience when they feel they should. And those who think they have little patience and try to have it by inculcating determinations repeatedly, hoping that they may acquire this extraordinary skill, repeatedly fail to do so, and either get disappointed or rationalize their frailty by saying that the bold need not have it. The result is predictable - self-denying impatience. So until and unless one clearly knows what patience is, one cannot have it.
There are many people who think that they have patience or who want others to think so. Maybe that is one kind of pretence or non-assertive weak-heartedness. Merely tolerating something or keeping silent does not mean patience in any way. The truth is that patience is not a virtue that can be acquired; rather, it is a state of the mind that can be and has to be discovered. It is a state of mind that helps feel and meaningfully react to the external reality without the person having to alter the choices that they have already made.
If that is so, then patience does not mean something that can be called a special virtue. If is there in everybody. Literally everybody.
And it is not a virtue that needs to be acquired. It is part of life, part of living.
Let us move slowly. What is patience? Does it mean holding oneself back even when the mind has decided to express an emotion, such as anger, sorrows etc., and thus remaining peaceful? Partly yes, and partly no. Yes because patience is a field of energy that can hold the streams of energy within its boundary for a specific time of emotional upsurge. And no because such a holding back is actually impossible in the long term, patience being no emotion itself. If patience were an emotion, it could be expected somehow or other to nullify the effect of one or more other emotion acting in the opposite direction. But it is not an emotion. It is ... what is it, really?
Nor is it the state of the absence of emotion. If it were, then it could not contain and host other emotions. What is it, then?
Metaphorically, if emotions are waves, then patience is ... not the shore nor the sea-bed nor the water nor the current, but the entire sea!
Patience is not the absence of emotions or a state of the mind resulting from the training of emotions. It is the totality of emotions. Surprising as it may sound, it is the fact. So let us move steadily, without losing patience.
What does it mean to have patience? Does it mean to postpone a decision until a latter point in time? Not necessarily. I want to kill somebody. I change my decision and decide to kill them after one month. Is it patience? Not necessarily. Patience is not doing or not-doing something. The deference of a decision to resist an undesirable stimulus is not necessarily patience.
Let us take specific examples and judge the issue in light of them.
Suppose that somebody hurts me physically. I get hurt and feel like paying the person in their own coin. However, I feel that I will not be able to go unhurt if I hurt him too, as I am weak. So I decide not to avenge myself of the hurt. Is that patience? Certainly not. Patience means refraining from expressing reactions even when one thinks that one is well in a position to do so.
Or suppose I am in utter poverty. A very pious person says, "Have patience. Maybe God will change your situation very soon." By way of acting up to his advice, I decide to have patience. Now the question is - What do I do when I have patience? Wait? Waiting is half-patience. However, I think we can anatomize waiting now.
When one waits, one only expects to achieve a purpose in the future. So, while the probable achievement is in the future, the desire is present in the mind. This is waiting. So waiting implies remaining active in the mind toward the fulfillment of an objective. However, waiting means expectation if the thing desired for cannot be achieved now for some reason or other. If, on the other hand, the desired thing can be achieved at present but still the achievement is deferred to a future point in time, then that waiting involves patience, though, in my opinion, it is still not patience in the purest sense of the concept.
Often we relate patience to anger or excitement. That is why we hear people saying, "Don't be angry. Have patience." In this case patience refers to refraining from being activated by anger. In other words, patience means refraining from reacting even when the emotional movement temporarily demands that very reaction. But, truly speaking, external reaction cannot be managed unless the internal reaction is managed. Again, internal reaction cannot be managed if it is not understood in its totality or if it is not dissolved by love arising from the heart naturally.
However, often there is seen to be little difference between love felt naturally and instinct.
Therefore, acquiring proper knowledge about emotions, their causes and consequences helps the mind automatically get liberated from the trap of automated reflexes or habits.
Talked of in connection with anger, patience involves unconditional forgiveness. If I think, "I'll react only when his behavior exceeds a limit but until then I'll have patience", then that non-involvement can hardly be called patience, because it is a planned overlooking, which is only a strategic move toward the achievement of goal. Patience, if it were equated with waiting, would mean accumulating or storing the intention to do something in the future. But accepting this concept creates a contradiction. So patience is not conditional forgiveness. After all, forgiveness can hardly be conditional.
So we see that as long as patience is considered in relation to anger, it involves forgiveness, which is attributable either to knowledge or to love.
Likewise, patience has a direct relevance to sorrows or sufferings, as we have alluded to in an example. I am suffering a lot for my neighbor's activity or conduct. But I am told to have patience and I do have patience. In that case I have to forgo some convenience. This is sacrifice. But truly speaking, such sacrifice may sometimes get transformed into a feeling of superiority or nobleness and thus become a business transaction. This is patience in the selfish sense of the term, not in the pure sense. Then what is patience proper?
At this point we can enjoy the old story of the thirsty crow which flew around in search of water and, after a long time, found a pitcher in which there was a little water at the bottom. It was very intelligent and so dropped some pebbles into the pitcher, which he collected with effort. However, when the water level rose in the pitcher he found the water muddy and instead of drinking it, flew away, disappointed.
However the second part of the story begins here… And another crow that was also thirsty observed this from a nearby place and came to the pitcher as the first crow departed. He waited until the water became clear and then drank to his fill from the pitcher. His patience made his intelligence meaningful and effective.
Patience means waiting until the situation changes in such a way that there is eventually no need to have patience. More appropriately, patience means waiting in such a way that the very act of waiting changes the situation. One who is not angry does not need to have patience for anything, nor can he do so at all. But if one who is angry wants to have patience, then he must wait until the person or situation he is angry with changes completely, so much so that he does not have to have patience any more. Thus patience, rather than being a hibernating emotion waiting to be expressed in the future, must be a self-fulfilling state of mind. In fact, patience is prayer and benediction. It is love waiting to be transformed into knowledge. It is energy that will change the definition, not the word. It is the desire not to change oneself so that the other party or the situation changes. Patience is the best performance of personal duty and social responsibility. It is intelligence pregnant with creativity, light that does not move.
One who claims to have patience must be convinced that it is his patience that will change the world that interacts with him and until such a change has been brought about, he should not think that he has ever had patience.
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The Death of Boredom
and the Beginning of
a Fresh, Curious Mind
When we find life to be comprised of events and activities of a routine nature, the old things happening repeatedly, we feel bored. Boredom is a common feature of almost every body's life. What rich, what poor, boredom forgives none. Even the most important personalities feel being limited by the nature of their everyday activities. Surprisingly, to those who do routine, technical work for most of the time of the day, their work seems to be the cause of boredom, while for those who do intellectual and creative work and are relatively free with regard to their routine, their freedom itself seems to be the cause of their boredom. Whatever one does is enough to make one feel that one would probably feel better if one could do something else time and again. Why do we feel bored? The right answer to this question will help us find ways for managing boredom and transforming it into a resource as well as source of pleasure and meaning. So let's see what it is in the mind that makes us feel bored.
Humans have infinite potential in them. This power manifests itself as intellect and creativity. Intellect is the faculty that helps us look at things from a problem-solving angle of view. It helps us search deep into phenomena and extract information from them very quickly. Creativity, on the other hand, inspires us to focus on other possibilities once a certain possibility has been exhausted. So, while intellect gives us the depth of thought, creativity gives us the breadth. Boredom has a very close connection with our inherent creativity.
Sometimes it may seem that being bored is akin to being tired or exhausted, but actually it is not. While we feel tired when we run short of energy, we feel bored when we feel a different kind of energy that we aren't in a position to use at present. Exhaustion compels us to seek escape from activity; on the contrary, boredom compels us to seek variety in it. Exhaustion is not related to the type of activity one is doing, but boredom is. Exhaustion is directly related to stamina and boredom to creativity and curiosity. Exhaustion has to do with how much of something is done, whereas boredom has to do with how often something is done. Exhaustion is a consequence of the amount of effort exerted at a stretch, while boredom is a consequence of the pattern of activity one remains involved in over a period of time. Exhaustion is felt as the loss of energy and stamina, while boredom is felt as the loss of opportunities and freedom.
If you feel exhausted, you should seek rest. If you feel bored, you should pause for a moment and look at the feeling with a firm belief that you have more diverse capabilities or interest than your present work demands or can utilize. Your boredom can pay you. Only don't get exhausted with the feeling of boredom. And stay with me for a while.
The fact that you feel bored implies that:
- you've already done or had too much of the same thing;
- a switch over to another type of activity or thing would give you a feeling of relief;
- you haven't run short of stamina but you've lost your interest;
- in your subconscious you feel deprived of the opportunity to use your idle but valued skill or knowledge or creativity elsewhere;
- somehow or other you've felt deep in your mind that your life could extend further toward newer horizons;
- your mind reacts to your idea of what you are in the language and logic of the present circumstances; and that
- there are other possibilities in your life that, though you may be unaware of them, are already in the totality of your being.
So when you're bored, rejoice! And sit alone for a while for an interview with your mind to get the answers to the following questions.
- What kind of work do I feel bored of at present - menial, emotional, intellectual, clerical, or spiritual?
- What kind of enjoyment am I bored of at present - sensual, mental, ceremonial (social or cultural), sports-related, monetary, or something else?
- A temporary switch over to what kind(s) of activity or enjoyment might help me better utilize my capabilities or give me a different taste of life?
- A temporary involvement in what dimension of experience might unleash my creative powerâ physical, emotional, intellectual, societal, ethnic, political, leisurely, or something else?
In most cases you may have to bring about a dimensional or fundamental change in your involvement. If you can do so in a prudent way, then you'll get striking results. However, for the best possible results, you have to bring about a change in your attitude. The following analytical meditation will provide you with the necessary magical power and spiritual wisdom.
Analytical Meditation
Say to yourself:
I am bored of something.
That means I am desirous of changing an activity or thing or situation or relationship.
The occurrence of one thing over a long time makes me bored.
That is why my mind looks for two, three, four ... and thus many.
True that the same type of thing loses its luster after a limited frequency of occurrence.
But who said that a particular thing is always the same thing?
Who said that a particular thing doesn't belong to different types at different times?
I am bored of the watch that I have been wearing for five years.
But am I bored of my hand?
I am bored of my house.
But am I bored of my body?
I am bored of my food.
But am I bored of my hunger?
I feel too bored of my wife or husband.
One spouse every day - after every sleep and every period of waking!
But, frankly speaking, have I ever tried to change my mother or father?
Have I ever called my brother or sister a mere neighbor?
Am I tired of the old name of mine that has been a label for me since I was born?
Did I ever complain saying: "Why don't my children change their relationships with me?
For a wise mind, only an indication is enough.
The truth is that if I am linked with something at the level of love and self, it always remains new to me.
Otherwise it has a temporary relationship with the mind.
The waves are many and fleeting, while the ocean is one and still infinite.
That with which I am superficially connected cannot hold me for long.
But I cannot also discard it because it is a necessity.
So the remedy is to identify all its dimensions and then link each dimension with a particular faculty of the mind.
A dog is usually tied with a chain.
But the best tie is the relationship.
A dog is loyal to its master.
The master is happy with the dog's loyalty.
This is the real tie.
Therefore, I can extend my life by discovering newer and newer meaning in it.
I do not want to throw away my father or mother or children because they are not the mere bodies but they are the persons in the bodies; perhaps not even the persons, but the personalities; or perhaps not the personalities, but the relationships.
Nobody wants to throw away a relationship because that is what everybody looks for.
If that is the case, then before throwing away the spouse, if ever, I will discover the person inside.
I do not have any relationship with any "body".
Rather I have relationship with the person.
I cannot throw away anything unless I have discovered how it was tied to me and why?
Even if I throw away a friend, can I throw away friendship?
No.
That is why when I have lost a friend I will look for another.
The mind abhors vacuum.
So even if I throw away something, at least the throwing should be meaningful.
It is easy to be wise in any season, any circumstances.
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The Death of Addiction to Drugs
and the Beginning of Addiction to Life
There's no escape from addiction. Whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever you have - you can't but have one thing - addiction.
You have no decision about whether you want to be addicted or not. You're not free at all in this sense. However, you have a say only in what you want to be addicted to.
We all talk and think of a concept called freedom. We've already developed a rich phraseology with this word as the foundation, namely, freedom from want, freedom from terrorism, freedom from anxiety, freedom from political oppression, freedom from diseases . . . eventually, freedom from thought and desire.
Even if we were free from all hazards of life, we could never have freedom from our concept of freedom. We can never be free from our desire for freedom. Our inner drive for attaining freedom of one kind or another can never leave us free until we feel we've exhausted all our disposable energy in attempting to achieve it.
Humans are bound so much by the thought of freedom that they're even prepared to accept death to fulfill their desire for it.
Why is that? What makes us feel bound and accept subtler bindings - often unwittingly - to achieve the freedom that we believe we should have? If freedom is not free, what is freedom, then?
Only the right answer to these questions - which are actually to be conceived as a single question if they ever need to be answered - can provide the permanent solution to the problem of addiction. There could be no issue more basic to life than the issue of addiction.
Addiction is there in everybody of us. Only what makes the difference from person to person is that this addiction manifests itself more in some people than in others. And let me tell you in advance that those in whose lives addiction has manifested itself strongly have ample reason to be identified as the relatively developed ones among mankind. Just as all types of glue can't prove to be very strong in all cases, so all people can't have the ability to be extraordinarily addicted, the question of addicted to what being an undoubtedly secondary concern.
Why, then, let me ask once more, do we crave so much for freedom? And, again, what are we really addicted? This article will show you where in your mind you have the answer.
In fact, we are, and we can only be, addicted to our idea of freedom. So if there is to be any idea of freedom from addiction then there's no choice not to say that freedom itself is the primary addiction. It is this essential tendency of the mind that gets expressed enveloped by situational agents.
In a dimension, the self is always free, whereas in another dimension, that is, in the dimension of the mind, it feels that it's not free and so looks for it.
Freedom - whatever it is - is so free in itself that it can look for itself and thereby artificially crate the concept of bondage to do the search through. If it didn't have the ability to do so, it couldn't be called freedom. Because only the concept of infinity - as it is conceived in pure mathematics - can absorb these contradictory characteristics in itself, freedom is no other than the Infinity, and addiction the inherent relation of the mind to it.
What we've said so far implies that your feeling of addiction is your unconscious love for the Infinity but you've consciously orchestrated it in a certain manner of conduct. An addicted person is not free not to be addicted. From the individual's point of view, addiction means allowing the object of addiction to have a hundred percent power over the mind, at the cost of the freedom of the mind itself.
What one is addicted to determines which side is going to remain free - the mind or the object of addiction. So let's do some analysis with addiction as it is related to the mind. Are you addicted to something - say, a certain kind of drug? Why? Certainly that's either because you can avoid a particular thought or feeling in that way or because you have certain sensations that are pleasing to you. Now sit face-to-face with yourself for a while and have an interview with the mind. If it's a particular thought or feeling that you want to avoid, then find out why you want to do so. Do you consider yourself a coward that you're afraid of a particular situation or feeling or thought? If you don't lose something, how will you gain something? If you don't let go of the small things, how will big things come to your hands?
Or if it's a thought that you want to evade, then give the matter a second thought. Are you afraid of a thought? Are you afraid of something that you created in your mind? Being the creator, do you want to flee from your creation? You created your thoughts and now they love you and can't go away from you until you love them and fulfill all their claims on you. Will you still hide yourself from them or try to hide them?
If you fail to take care of your creation, it will destroy you and try to create you anew or transform you into a creator that takes care of their creation.
Or are you addicted to something simply because it gives you pleasing sensations? If yes, then you can earn a lot of knowledge by analyzing this addiction. Any pleasure arising out of any sensations is completely dependent on the substance giving that sensation. Do you want to remain a slave to that substance? Why don't you say to yourself: "I won't allow trifling things to give me pleasure. I can't take an unimportant thing as my enemy." If, for example, a person far too small as compared to your social status or official power says to your friends and relatives that they consider themselves your personal enemies and if this news goes around in the society, then how will you feel? How does it sound when a rat publicly declares that the great lion, the King of the jungle, is its enemy?
Once you are addicted, you make your pleasure dependent on the addiction. That's why when you want to withdraw you can't escape a feeling of pain and uneasiness. That which controls your pleasure has the right to give you pain. Accept it. Shortly you'll be able to overcome its influence on you.
You must keep in mind that enjoyment is more than bodily feeling. Rather, it's an attitude. Feeling is dependent on the body, situation, and time, whereas attitude is independent of all externalities - it depends on your intention. Simply say to yourself: I'm happy simply because I believe and know I am. I'm free from the influence of any feeling. If I define my happiness and satisfaction with the color of my feeling, it will change ten times a day and I'll have to float around on a vast sea of sorrows that I'm not familiar with.
When somebody is addicted to something, they get a lot of pleasure from it. This is what should be the case. Addiction means getting merged with. It is a tendency of the mind to unify the whole universe in it and get merged with the Infinity. That's why it's not unusual that when this huge potential is completely spent on a trifling matter it should be a source of concentrated pleasure. But why look at the pleasure only? What about the other side of the coin?
Addiction is nothing but devotion transferred from the source of the mind to its surface. Somebody is devoted to what they are addicted to. Maybe this theory will seem alien to you, but it's the fact. I don't want to prove it, though, because it's you who will see it for yourself. How can I prove something to you which is nowhere but in yourself? Proof only unveils the truth, that which is already there, and doesn’t create it, just as feeling conceals it and doesn’t destroy it. So why bother about any proof? Why not look at the feeling that's standing in the way of your reason?
When you have pleasure from something, do you need to prove the existence of the object that gives you the pleasure? Isn't your feeling more than what you could otherwise indicate by a method of proof? Now do the following analytical meditation.
Analytical Meditation
Say to yourself:
My conviction is sufficient as the proof. Proof is only an indirect way to get at the truth. It seldom requires the identity of who is going to prove and who is accepting it. Therefore, when there's a problem that's dependent on the person involved in it, what solution can be there except the person's declaring themselves independent of it and thus attain emancipation?
I am the proof.
I am the answer to any question my mind raises.
I am the solution to any problem my mind creates.
I am the source of the nectar for which my mind can ever be thirsty.
I am so powerful that I can even confine my pleasure to an infinitesimal substance. This is an ability of mine, and not of the substance.
If this is true, then I am also the power that can untangle the mind from any bondage.
I am addicted to the unity of my self.
What peace, what pleasure, what pain, what suffering - all are various dimensions of my self. How can I stay away from my feelings - be it pleasure or pain? Being the totality, how can I narrow myself to a measurable bit of event or information? No journalist can exhaust the hidden message of my mind by reporting on it even for thousands of years. I am so vast that my mere existence influences the ability of the reporter.
My mind is addicted to no other than my own self.
So why should I flee from the addiction?
Rather, I confess that I am addicted to all the dimensions of my self - pleasure, sorrow, pain, responsibility, ethics, values, wealth, charity, leisure, activity, fame, infamy - everything.
I am greater than any particular thing - any particularity. I am greater than death, even. I don't need to look for it; it looks for me. I am greater than sorrow. It needs me to exist. I need not be afraid of something that is dependent on me.
If I am not afraid of sorrow, why should I be dependent on pleasure? Just as sorrows come to me, so also pleasures will ferret me out if I stay firm in the unity of my mind ï which is often referred to as equanimity. The fact that pleasure runs away from me when I pursue it proves that it wants me to feel that I could get it without running after it. If I do my duties properly but don't run after any particular thing, it will run after me for its own existence. Why should I empower something to run away from me by running after it?
I am addicted to my identity, integrity, freedom, and own knowledge of myself.
Everything else is addicted to me simply because I disengage myself from its narrow clutches.
I am so valuable that even small things try to find opportunities to imprison me into its boundaries. I am so important that even trifling things want to gain importance by getting me to own them. But I'm going to be the owner myself, not the owned.
Try the following method:
- When the usual time or need for taking the drug arrives, take something ï maybe sweetmeat or something you’re fond of ï and imagine as if you were taking a substitute for the drug.
- Once you’ve successfully transferred your addiction to something else, make the taking of the substitute irregular.
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Source:
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