I hate myself?

Question

I hate myself?

Answer 1

you have to learn to appreciate your good quality, everyone has worth and strengths, you just have to find it. You probably have a chemical unbalance that creates these feelings, you should get professional help and be open to it..



good luck, stay strong

Answer 2

just go near a river, listen the water flow,, repeat it every day,,you will feel your soul relieved

Answer 3

Oh my gosh!! i cant believe what other people put on here and what they told you!

I am really sorry for what you are going through! This will make you into such a strong person, which you already are! I have gone through the same thing. And just to let you know, drinking, cutting, smoking, sex, or drugs will not help you! it will make things only 10 times worse. I started smoking, drinking, cutting myself, and had problems with eating disorders when i was 13. Now i have to deal with the cravings of ciggarettes, the scars on my arms(that people judge me by), and the little excess wieght from drinking adn messing up my diet. You may want to resort to some of these things but they are really just going to bring you down more.

Some things that could help (which i did) is to keep a journal (like a diary, but i never liked the name "diary" lol) and i wrote down EVERYTHING. Everything that happened or anyting that i was feeling. I didnt write in it everyday, just when big things came up. But it gives you a chance to look at what you are thinking and doing, and analyze if they are really helping or hurting you. It helped me a ton!

Another thing that i did was lay on the ground. It sounds wierd but it is so nice to just get away from everything and just relax in silence for a little bit and concentrate on nothing. It really brings you down to earth! (both mentally and physically)

I know what your going through and i know its very hard and that it will never end. IT will end! eventually. I do have scars from my past, but they did only make me a stronger person.

I also got a pet fish! And it made me happy. Just to see how carefree it was made me want to be like it.



I know that you can get through this! Just believe in yourself and never let go of the things that you believe in! I you want happiness in a world that puts you down and makes you feel like s***, you need to look beyond the people for help. You need to look inside yourself and find out who you really are and what you stand for and believe. I truly wish good luck to you, and if you want to talk my email is [e-mail]. I hope that i helped

Answer 4

screw the counselor and everyone else who put you down. you are going through a hard time in your life and killing yourself is no way to deal with it. I know it's hard, even though i have never experienced something like this. I really don't have an answer but you have to find something good in your life, it may be hard but try it. Find one thing that you like about yourself, and focus on that. forget everything else and focus on what you are good at, or something that you like about yourself. Please try it and please dont harm yourself.

Answer 5

god loves you.and come on here,we will make you feel better-I hope!!

Answer 6

You'll feel better this summer. Try to read a good book once in awhile and have a hobby you like. Remember, you have food, clothing and shelter. Many children in the world are starving and homeless. Try to learn about faith in a God. He might help you sometimes.

Answer 7

You need serious help! No one on Yahoo can help you with what you are going through, you need to see a psychiatrist........SOON!

Answer 8

I know this may sound stupid but have you thought of going and talking to your local vicar...you sound like you just need someone to listen to you and accept you for who you are...the doctor and the psychiatric nurse have seen you as just another job....i'm in no way religious but the idea of talking to a vicar comes from knowing that he will listen to you and have some good advice and this will make you feel that you have at least one person who will respect you and so lifting your mood

Answer 9

How about you work on Something tp improve yr feelings and yr health?.. How about a plan?.. Try to go on a trip...Try to watch Comdey Tv Episodes.. it helps .. to make yrself feel better.. and eat less...Remember there r always ppl you're so important to them,,,.. Dont waste yr life on Being depressed....

xx Have a good day xx

Answer 10

Well......Without knowing you and your history it is very difficult for people to give you constructive answers.

You don't really say what it is you want...just a rant about how awful you are ...how fat you are..and a little about your eating and mental health problems. You haven't even said what age you are but I'm guessing your in your teenage years.



I've been a Psychiatric nurse for probably as long as you've been born and it's not an easy job...The mind is a strange thing and changing peoples perceptions is difficult...Me telling you "No your not awful or fat" just isn't going to do it ...is it?

So I think you have to go back to your doctor or nurse and tell them HOW YOU FEEL and WHAT YOU WANT TO CHANGE....

You haven't asked for help from what I can see and are too angry blaming others for not recognising your distress. Your poor mum hasn't got a clue what is happening to you...she's probably besides herself with grief watching you self destruct and too scared to say anything in case you rant at her...



Write down how you feel..

how long you've felt like this?

Were there any "triggers" for how your feeling...did something happen around that time?

Why do you feel you have to be punished?

What ACTUALLY have you done that makes you feel punishment is necessary?

What do you think wuold make things better for you ...don't answer "By dying" as thats not an answer.



Once you have all the questions answered....and don't answer them "I deserve to be punished because i'm bad"...That's not an answer either....Go to someone who you can trust...there will be someone...most likely your mum and go over them with her. She'll probably be able to make more sense of how your feeling if she knows why your feeling so awful.



I'd like to say that i've seen loads of young girls with symptoms like yours...some have been abused..WHICH IS NOT THEIR FAULT...

some have come from broken homes and feel unloved because a parent left..WHICH IS NOT THEIR FAULT...and some get bullied by peers and made to feel worthless...WHICH IS NOT THEIR FAULT.



So again..without really knowing what's made you feel so bad about yourself..it's difficult to get to the bottom of it....

But I bet your not fat, ugly or awful...just needing help finding the right road.



Good luck with your search of who you are and who you can be.

Answer 11

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Answer 12

Being a psychiatric nurse i hope I can help. It sounds as if you have had a bad run of people offering unhelpful or bad advice. Don't let that put you off people i general as most are genuine.



You have a lot of emotion in your question and it would take forever I'm sure to explain everything in detail. What you need to focus on is what right now is making you most unhappy. Then work downwards through the list. If you feel everything combined is hurting you then nothing will be resolved. You need to be strong in deciding what is the most painful thing in your life and face it head on. You will need support (family/friend/s?). Or a counsellor/therapist to guide you through this turmoil. I suggest making a list. Put as the title Ten things I hate about myself (yes just like the film). Put no 1 as your worst enemy and go down to no 10 as your least. It will take 5 seconds or 5 days to do this but once you have the list you can really start.



Once you have identified these hates then you must have a plan to beat them. Nothing can be gained by this and you must reaffirm every morning and night that you will succeed.



You must talk to people as much as possible about how you feel. Do not retreat into a silent world. If you are not happy with therapists/doctors then ask to be more clear in their answers. Remember they cannot solve your problems only you can do this. But if you have an action plan like the one above then you cannot fail because as each task is completed you are already a success in life. And nobody can ever take that away from you. Unless you let them...... So be strong. Wishing you good mental health and happiness.

Answer 13

Poor love, I am so sorry, really I am. I've been there and done that, believe me, and wouldn't wish it on anyone else. I'm sorry your mother is so unsympathetic, I was the family scapegoat, I had the mother from hell, and she did real damage to my self-esteem and to my life. The person who "saved" me was my grandmother, who I will always remember with great love and affection, and I think I am a better mother and a more understanding person because of what I went through. (I could write a book, and maybe one day...) On the other hand, health professionals are not always helpful. I went to see a psychiatrist who told me to get more self-esteem, and I felt like saying, OK then, I'll go and buy a packet from the supermarket, as though it was that simple.



Is there no-one else in your family you can trust and confide in? If there isn't, it doesn't mean you are a bad person, rather that you are unlucky. I also feel that you need to ask yourself why you think you should be punished. Just because you "feel" bad doesn't mean you "are" bad. You come across as an intelligent and thoughtful person. Do you have an activity you love (such as sport or music, for example) that gives meaning and structure to your life, or a career ambition, or do you lack a sense of direction?



If you are into self-help books there's one called "Overcoming Low Self-esteem" by Melanie Fennell , which I found useful, and which might help you to put things into perspective.



Please remember that there are people out there who do understand and care. I hope you find them. I'm not a religious person in any conventional sense but I believe, seek and you shall find, ask and you shall have, knock and it shall be opened to you. Good luck and take care.

Answer 14

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Answer 15

Hey there its seems you r having a pretty rough time right now.

I'm not sure where to start , there seem to be many issues going on at once, I knw it doesnt take a genius to see that im just not sure where to go with this , but i can see you really need help and must feel awfully lonely and betrayed in all areas, in one way the way your being treated is bad by the health professionals, and in another if its anything like england im not suprised, unless of course you are in the UK then say no more....

Isnt it possible to see your counsellor sooner and express theres an urgent need ?

Im sure your professionals have seen to all this , but the chances are there must be a trigger for all this stuff and you need to look back and see the root of the problem, way back in your life perhaps that triggered the self loathing etc, you can cover up the symptoms but they will manifest in other ways until you deal with the root of the problem..

In the mean time , try to focus on things that even just make you smile a little, treat your self in any litfle way you know escape to your favourite place to just try to relax and give yourself some head space even praying meditating what ever your thing is.....in the end if you can learn to remove the focus from yourself, as in a kind of distraction after dealing with the root cause , which would tie in with the self harm and the eating disorders and the suicidal tendancies , you r counsellor should be able to help you with this .....

I hope this isnt too much waffle .....best of luck and please try to think even if you hate yourself there are many others that dont hate you and dont think your worthless, so for them even your mother , who you may be angry at just now dont do anything to dramatic.

take care .

Answer 16

The thing I would like you to understand is that this is a black spell in your life but you will come through it. You may not feel very strong at present but you do have the inner strength to lift yourself out of this rut. Some things you need to do this include regular exercise, a role to give you a sense of purpose in life, lots of sunshine and fresh air and some good food. That doesn't have to be fattening food: do what I just did and buy yourself a juicer so you can have some great tasting drinks, or explore the exotic fruit section at your supermarket. If you are in a rut, the best way to get out of a rut is to do something you've never done before and then you can stop telling yourself that life is this awful cycle going around and around, same old thing, day in & day out. Life is not meant to be like that. If I spend lots of time indoors (and as a teenager I didn't get out very much) then I do become stale and if hours pass by in which I accomplish nothing, I get down about that. If you are similarly stagnating then do something worthwhile. Personally I get satisfaction from growing things: there was no garden when I came here.I live in a regenerated street off an industrial estate, formerly occupied by travellers and so our garden was full of nails, broken glass and rubbish. I've bought a garden fork and removed all this stuff by turning the soil over and over. I've planted hundreds of flower bulbs, and seedlings indoors. I never had the interest when I lived at home: perhaps because everything was already perfect and so what use was I? I didn't used to think the way I do now. I had my head in the clouds and thought of being an artist, poet, a minister (which may shock a few people on here!). Now I have become incredibly practical and down to earth in my approach to life. The thing about being a teenager is that unless you're one of these amazingly inspired people who has a plan for your life that you've actually thought through and set in motion (I wasn't) ; then your life hasn't really got going yet and so it can seem very empty and dull. When you fly the nest (I did this a whole lot of times but I think this is the one!) then survival itself becomes a challenge and at this point you are flying, all by yourself and it can be frightening at times but it can also be a whole lot of fun. This is what you must look towards: yourself as an independent woman, making it in life.P.S: "SKIN" is the book I'm reading right now. I don't know if you have any brothers but this is about a young lad watching his sister suffering from anorexia. It's by A.M.Vrettos, publishers Egmont, ISBN: 1-4052-2328-6. Egmont are on the web too (www.egmont.co.uk).

Answer 17

Your mum told the rest of the family because it was probably pretty obvious from your behaviour (and your appearance - you mention eating disorders) there was something wrong and it was causing them concern. It's probable your mum told them so they would be more understanding - although having been through depression, it's impossible for anyone to understand something when you don't understand it yourself.



You will tend to look for the most remote sign of anything that supports your self-image, which could be why you only remember one sentence out of all that every nurse has ever said to you. It's almost impossible to say anything to you that you won't try to turn against yourself.



You are a lovely human being - Really, you are.



Any time you feel you need a hug there's one here (((((((((((you))))))))))) - Just imagine that's where you are.



This is not the sort of place to go into this, there are too many weirdos out there who think it's funny to kick someone when they're down.



Remember it's depression and you share it with millions of others. You're not mental.



You're beautiful - live, breathe and be happy. Someone out there needs you. Don't let them down.



Stay away from the loonies on here who make out they know it all - Talk to Samaritans.

Answer 18

Hi, SH2007



You seem to be bombarded with advice, so here is a poem I'd like to share with you. If you hadn't posted your question it may never have been written. So if you like it, it's your poem; enjoy.



Dreams of Yesterday.



We walked to day by the Thames, my wife, my daughter, and I,



And as we walked we saw the dreams of those who'd gone before.



Over on the Teddington side was a fine house

set in a lawn that swept down to the stream.

It looks so fine and idyllic, like it's been dropped down from heaven.



But I bet they still squabble about the TV remote control

and tell their children to eat up their greens.



Then there were those sailing in yachts.

I don't know how they did it. The day seemed as calm as could be.



In Canbury Gardens we sat on a bench and munched biscuits

in the shade of a London Plane tree,

not far from the bandstand where in a more refined time,

it would have been just the place to be, listening to the band.

Even though there is memory, there is still opportunity.



The daffodils that a month ago had heralded the coming of spring,

were now finished and gone, only stalks and leaves remained.

But there were Prunus in bloom, a mass of pink blossom, enlightening a bush.



In time the breeze that blew the sails will blow the petals off the trees.

But what they shall never know is that they were part of my dream today.



Dooney

2007/04/07

Answer 19

i know how you feel, i have went through and still am going through the same thing.



As long as you set yourself a positive goal eg some one in the family has just given birth or going to you look after the child which distracts you for a short period of time then you focus on some thing else.



That is how i mostly get through. Although most days i wish i were swallowed alive or something.



I however have never been to a phyciatric nurse but i have been told to go. As long as you look deep inside and find at least one thing you like about yourself wither it is the colour of your eyes or something like that.



You should not punish yourself by self harming, it's taken me years to figure that out now i'm left with the scars. When you feel suicidal ping an elastic band on your wrist (although it is also a way to stop smoking it is quite successful as it slowly stopped me self harming).You are not the only one who is going through this, there are many people all over the world.



Maybe by talking to other members in the family your mum is getting ideas in how to help you, as most people do not know how to react to one of their children becoming suicidal, have an eating disorder, but most know what to do about anxiety but some don't. I am not trying to give your mum an excuse for breaking your confidence but maybe that is the only way she feels she can handle the situation by seeking help from other family members.

Answer 20

Listen...



You do not belong in the gutter, and you don't deserve to die!



Your GP hasn't been helpful, and the psychiatric nurse has not treated you in a professional way, there are good people who can help you, but unfortunately you haven't found them yet.



Childline would be a good place to start



Phone [phone]

http://www.childline.org.uk/



Also you can email the Samaritans, or phone them



Samaritans



Phone [phone]

email: [e-mail]



Mind are a national mental health charity, the website offers a search facility so you can check to see where you nearest local organisation is.



http://www.mind.org.uk/Mind+in+your+area/



I work for Mind in my town, and as well as offering a drop-in centre and tenancy support service we have a young persons service as well. Give your local branch a ring and see if they have a young persons service, or depending on your age, if you can use any of there other services.



The Mind website also offers information in an easy to read format and might help you to understand your depression, anxiety and eating problems. Also what help you should look for and where to start.



As others have suggested, you should go back to your Dr's surgery and make an appointment with a different GP. I think you need to do this as soon as you can, tell them it's an emergency and don't let them fob you off. As it's Easter you won't be able to do that until next week now, but does your town have a surgery that offers a walk in service while ordinary surgeries are closed?



Try the NHS direct website, or phone them, they will be able to answer that question for you



NHS Direct 0845 46 47

http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/



Please, please try any or all of the things I've suggested.



You deserve and need help.



If you are still at school is there a teacher who you feel comfortable enough with, to confide in?



If you are at college, do they have a counsellor for students?



You've had a bad experience with a friend you trusted and confided in, so sorry about that, but sometimes they find things just too hard to deal with and in the end have to back away....... I've had that happen to me lots of times! It doesn't mean that everyone will do the same though, so maybe there is someone else you think you might be able to trust. Try gently testing things out first before you tell them everything, that way you might just 'know' that it isn't the right person before saying too much.



I'm now over 40 and have suffered from depression since being a teenager. I've had different GP's, counsellors, CPN's (community psychiatric nurse), psychiatrists and a whole range of other health professionals all trying to help me. There will be some who understand you more than others, some who you will find eaiser to talk to as well.



For the past 10 years I have had the same GP and he is very understanding and helpful, so please try seeing another one, and hopefully, you too, will find one who is better for you and you're needs. Explain the treatment of the nurse and request to see a different one.



Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself in this way, it is your right. Being a teenager does not mean that you should receive a poorer service, or that you can't complain.



You obviously need help from someone before you see your counsellor again, as it sounds like it is some time away.



People who have never thought about suicide in a serious way, or haven't been in that much turmoil that they considered it as a real option have no right to judge others.



You are not a 'stupid teenager', you are a real person, with real needs.



Your Mum is wrong, you have not brought any shame on the family................. in fact she is the one that should be ashamed. If you can, try to show her some of the information you get from where I've suggested. She needs to change the way she thinks about you and your illness. Which definitely doesn't include telling everyone about it.



My parents still don't fully understand me and my illness, but I've just learned to live with that, and know that it is there problem, not mine.



I hope you can get some help, and try some of the things I've suggested.



You are worthy of getting all the help you need!



Trust me, as someone who has experienced some of what you are going through, but who has made it to over 40 - which probably sounds ancient to you......... lol



Take care.

Answer 21

Hi pet, hope your feeling alittle better already, i must say it is heart warming to see all this love and advice opening up to you, your not alone you know! depression and other related conditions effect tens of thousands (if not millions) world wide... Can i just say having just read through peoples answers that about 10 or so where very much less that helpul and a couple rather sickening, the morons that posted them wanted to shock, thats how these sad creatures get their kicks, pethetic idiots... I think 10 is an intresting number here because the way i see it these crettons represent 10% (and probably a good deal less) of humanity, the scum precentage!! Hopefully without sounding too pious that leaves the rest of us, people who can and do care for others.. You know i have a gut feeling your mother is a good woman, is it at all possible to make "peace" with her! it might well be the best move you have ever made. Take care of precious you........x

Answer 22

wow, you sound just like I did when I was 19. I think that you would be in you teenage years. Why because these are quit common feelings of young people. I can tell you this take the time to make others feel better,friends, people at the hospital volunteer work even at an old folks home. It is this way that you will feel better about yourself and other will feel better about you and also you will see that their are others worse off then you and at the same time you will be too busy to think about your own problems and soon before you know it you will much better yourself. Still time to time you will hurt and feel bad but so does everyone else in this world. Keep in mind you are never completely alone. Put on your happy face and get out there for others so you can help yourself ;)

Answer 23

Wish I had the answer for you, to some extent I can understand where you are coming from. I've had an eating disorder for nearly six years now and not had the nerve to speak to anyone about it. I've read websites, registerd with online help groups but felt unable to talk to friends and family as to be honest I feel unsure what they'd say and feel it's a weakness within myself. - Daft really. You are obviously so much braver I only wish the people you had confided in had been more supportive. Try to remember that however you are feeling now is not the way you will always feel, emotions are very much controlled by our environments and actions. I'm guessing that like me you have an adictive personality and tend to go for all or nothing. This would mean that if you're on a downer, that is the direction every aspect of your life will take. Please don't think that suicide is the best option - beginning to feel in control and being able to throw the hurtful words people have given you back at them would surely feel so much better. I really think you have done the best thing by talking to people about your feelings and problems, but remember that they do not hold the magic answers. Believe me I know it's not easy but set yourself small targets and recognise when you feel slightly better. Small steps is the only way, by what you've said it will take a long time to gradually feel better about yourself. In the meantime try to stay positive and keep pushing the health professionals to help you - it is their job to help and support you through recovery, infact remind them of that next time you're told you're told it's just a phase. - Whatever they want to call it you need help to feel better, but try to help yoursef too. You're the most important one in this situation, recognise that and do whatever you can day to day to look after yourself too.

Answer 24

Hi. First of all, I'm really sorry you're feeling the way that you are. It's awful to feel that bad about yourself - I know this because I've suffered from depression on and off for years.



I do have a few practical ideas which you may find helpful. Please give them a go and see if they help you. There are probably no miracle cures that are going to make things wonderful by tomorrow, however there are practical things which can help you cope and improve.



* Talk...

Talk to friends, talk to family, talk to anyone who will listen. When I was younger and living with my family we had a pet dog - I used to talk to him! It helps because in explaining to others how we feel we get a greater understanding of it ourselves. You've already taken a helpful step by talking to the Answers community in the way that you have.



* Be creative...

Write or paint or play music or do anything. Express your hopes and fears and anxieties in some way. I was recently told by a psychiatric professional that while you are engaged in a creative activity you relieve the feelings of depression. It works for me.



* Find the positives.

When you feel low and depressed about a particular thing or situation, try to find a positive that can be gained from it. For example...I was in a situation where I was too depressed and unwell to cope with work so I was unemployed. My natural reaction was that this was an entirely negative and awful thing . But I learnt that only by having that time off was I able to devote the time and resources to getting the proper treatment and get on the road to feeling well again.



* Get proper treatment.

Your doctor tells you that your depression is just a phase? How would you react to a doctor who told you that a broken leg was just something which would get better in time? You'd report the idiot for malpractice and change to another doctor. Depression is an illness which is recognised by any competent medical practitioner and should be treated as seriously as any physical ailment. Change doctors if you can. Seek help - you need it, you deserve it and if you persist you will get it.



* Remember...

...that people care. Look at the number of responses you've had to your message. (OK a few are negative or unhelpful but you always get morons and you sound far too smart to pay any attention to them!). The majority of people out there have given up a little of their time and energy just to help a total stranger. Isn't that great?

People can be unkind, or hurtful - but it's often accidental. When this happens don't let it grind you down. Learn from it and try to move on. You mention a friend who has let you down. Maybe it's possible to patch things up? If so that will be good but if not you can find other friends. Things can get better - believe it because others who have been in your situation know that it is true.

Answer 25

You know, the most important thing I can say to your right now is, you are not alone. So many people feel like you do. I know that doesn't make it any better, but it may help to know you are not a freak or someone to be hated, you are suffering from a medical condition, and that is clinical depression.



Your doctor should be taking charge of your treatment, but unfortunately most GPs don't know much about depression. Just remember you are special, you are the only 'you' there has ever been, and you will get through this.



Keep going to see your counsellor, he or she should be able to give you support. It's a shame you can't get to see him for a few weeks, can you ring him up and get an earlier appointment?



Friends will let us down, as will family, most people don't understand depression and are scared of it, and they will show that fear by being very hard on you.



If you feel very down and ever feel suicidal, make sure you get help. The Samaritans are very very good, here is their website:



http://www.samaritans.org/



Take care of yourself xx

Answer 26

I always say life's tough for everyone. My little boy died a year and a half ago. It has destroyed my partner and me. My partner now has similar feelings to you. It's very hard for people around to continually support someone who suffers from depression. It's not they don't want too they just can't understand. I can't with my partner. Trying to kill yourself would be the worst thing ever. I don't mean for people around you I mean for you. There's a big world out there and you need to get in it and find something to achieve. Don't waste your time with hospitals, doctors and nurses there pretty much all the same. I've took my partner to all of them no less than 50 times in the past year and a half and we've found the same they don't give two hoots. Your in control, your in the driving seat. grab life and live it. I know i'm making it sound easy but believe it or not I did and it worked, I'm training to be a nurse and my partner: After our little boy died, he lost his job of 22 years and then spiralled downwards into weekly suicide attempts. We are trying so hard to get back on top. You can do it. Think how you can become a better person, look into it and do it. Don't allow anybody to guide you, guide yourself, then you can look back at the end and say i did this i taught myself i know ........... this now and with the help of nobody. Don't rely on others it doesn't work. Rely on yourself and you'll be fine. Trust yourself and no-one can break your confidence. Take care.

Answer 27

I was sort of like this once but not to the same extreme as you are, but I never told anybody and definitely did not go to a counsellor. I thought of all the things I did have - family, clothes, warmth, shelter, intelligence, friends, my health. Comparing my life to those of children in Africa, people who are abused or bullied or people who have just lost a family member or close friend made me see how lucky I am. I am guessing you do not have all of those things I mentioned, it does seem you have nearly all of them though.



Also try and stay busy, commit to something and make it your goal to be really good at it. Take up a sport for example, it would solve the weight problem (if there is one), take your mind off any worries you have and you could maybe meet some new friends.



Tell your mum how you feel about her telling all of your family members and that you are not doing this for attention. The psychiatric nurse sounds dumb lol, obviously knows nada.



Good luck, and I am sure there are plenty of people on here who would listen to you. Including me.

Answer 28

U.K.

Samaritans 24 hr. Helpline. 0845 7909090.

U.K

MIND Mind Helpline 0845 766 0163 Open Monday to Friday 9.15am to 5.15pm SANE (http://www.sane.org.uk) SANELINE - 0845 767 8000 Open 1pm-11pm 365 days a year ...



"Happiness is the pursuit and achievement of attainable goals."

Someone once said.

I don't know how this will help you, but, just try taking your mind off your worries for a while, distract yourself, do something different.

Stop thinking about the "big picture" and your big worries. Try and do one little thing that goes right: go to the garden shop and get yourself a bulb to grow. Try a Hyacinth bulb, they smell nice and can be grown in your room in just a small glass vase (no earth needed!)

Or get some pens/paints and draw//paint out your feelings.

You have a talent for descriptive writing, you have described your situation with feeling. Write a short story?

It is rare to find one person who can manage all your thoughts,it is always advised that when a person is suicidal, then the person they confide in should tell others, or the burden is too great on them. -But of course this has shattered your trust.

Find another "therapist" if you aren't happy with the one you have.

Take an evening class in a subject you like that has no exam pressure.

Buy a paper , and do the crossword ( start with "The Sun" -it has the easier crossword, with the added bonus of 2 sets of clues with the same answers.!)

You are brave for putting this question up. You are taking steps to look after yourself by this, and this is all you need to do. Take little steps , do little things, just for now.

Good Luck : )

Answer 29

A) Call The Jeremy Kyle show? For all his faults his team are there for people who want help and support.



B) You seem to be trying to address a lot of issues at the same time, but they will all be driven by one underlying one that is causing the others.



Even though you might not know what it is give it a personal name, an identity, and it will give you a single thing to fight against. That "thing" you have created will send you a lot of negative messages but every now and then you will reject one. Remember that, a small win, but a win none the less.



Picture the "thing" as throwing stones into your pond and causing ripples that fan out in all directions. Those ripples are what make you feel bad. Now picture your hand reaching out, maybe just once a day, and clutching the stone from the sky and stopping it falling in the water.



For once, that once, you've stopped it, capture the moment in your mind, smile, a lot, over react, feel good, mega, hyper, embed that feeling inside you.



Accept that for the moment you will only stop one stone a day but think ahead to tomorrow and imagine how good you will feel then when you catch another one.



When you are ready catch 2 a day.



In a few weeks time begin to estimate how many stones are thrown each day. Maybe say 24 a day. It has taken you maybe 3 weeks to catch 3 a day, so you are 21 v 3 down.



BUT 3 weeks ago you were 24 v 0 down.



At your rate of progress at say 1 extra stone caught a week you will see that in another 10 weeks you will be WINNING, and it will be 13 v 11 to you!!!



How good does that make you feel?!



For now just focus on catching that first stone, not on missing 23, and when you catch that first one celebrate, look in the mirror and see a chink in the armour that is currently imprisoning you - a chink that wasnt there before! From that chink see a blinding light, and every time you increase your caught stone count see more chinks, more light, more you.



Be well

Answer 30

I know exactly how you feel

im feel exactly the same, some days i can bear being myself but others i just want to rip my skin off and be someone else

Theres not really much i can say to help seeing as im in the same situation but i know what u mean, i havnt told many people cos they just think its me being a typical teenager. It annoys me tho because if an adult has the same problems its completly different.

You sound as if you dont really know why you feel like this and but im guessing your family and friends have a lot to do with it. The only way out is to become more self confident, if you do that then everything anyone else says wont matter and you can start your long journey out of the tunnell and find light again...cliched i know...but thats how i think of it.Good luck

Answer 31

Oh jees no wonder you feel so bad right now.

{hugs} it's not nice feeling like this is it. I wish some people would understand that you DONT want to feel this bad and you can't help it.



I think a start would be to write a list of everything that's getting to you - and I mean everything, even if it's just seemingly daft little niggles. Then work through the list and try to resolve them. I think the people around you are just frustrated because you're obviously in a lot of distress and they don't know how to help.



I felt like this last week. I cried and sobbed and felt a bit better afterwards. Anything's worth a go right? It might not seem like it right now BUT there are people who love you and care about you.



I raised my own self esteem by doing training courses and getting qualifications, plus it's a distraction from the pain.



When you feel so bad try to go for a long walk to clear your head, the sun works great fo making you feel better.



I sincerely hope you feel better soon hinny

Answer 32

You need to see a professional. If possible see one of the other Doctors at the surgery or go to the A&E department!

My daughter has a similar condition and she's NOT a silly teenager (She's old enough to be the mother of one) There is help available and you need to talk about your feelings, so don't wait for the next appointment with a councillor phone and ask for an urgent appointment and explain exactly how you feel when you see the Doctor or Councillor (write it down as you did this question if it helps) Good luck to you and remember it's not your fault you feel this way! It's the chemicals in your brain that cause clinical depression!

Answer 33

Oh babes, i'm so sorry you're feeling so low and alone. I wish I had the answer for you. All I can say is, you have gotta start by helping yourself. I seen some of your other questions and you seem to be sooo badly sad and depressed. You need to confront your demons from the past and the present, tell yourself that they're not worth wasting your youth and life over because you know what, they are so not worth it. You seem like such a wonderful, beautiful person. You need to realise this, identify and enhance the good things about you and the good things in your life. GET A NEW DOCTOR! I'm telling you he/she sounds like a right assh**e. They're supposed to be there to help but some doctors are such egotistical, rude pri**s. I have the same problem with my last doctor (and that's why he was my LAST doctor). Your Mam hasn't been very supportive of you. You have tried and were let down. I think now that you need to wait for her to come to you, hopefully understandingly and supportively.

As for your friend, I know it may seem hard but you should try to give her as much time as she gives you. Listen to her as much as she listens to you. She must have problems too. The best thing for you to do is to contact the samaratins over the phone for a non-judgemental, helpful and understanding person to listen and advised you on your situation.

You sound like a sound, intelligent, great person. Life is only beginning for you. Suicide is NOT the answer. It is a very drastic measure to take and you are stronger and better than that. You are in control of your faith and life, be what you wana be darling. I'm sorry if none of this makes sense, all I know is that you are brilliant and beatiful and life will re-pay you what it has taken from you if you give it a chance.

E-mail me if you want to chat. Please, I'm not just saying it, Please do e-mail me. I would love to talk to you. i live in Ireland too. Honey bunny take Care of yourself, I hope you got some kind of answer here that will help you xoxoxoxo

Answer 34

Poor you A real cry for help. I just wish I could be there for you. I have teenage children and would hate to think they had this pain and nobody was there to help them.



One thing I do know is that you are very clever, Look at your question and I am sure if I knew you I would think you are realy pretty and not at all fat. As a teenager I was fat and hated it but do not feel I was as desperate as you are. My advice has to be to tell someone how you feel. If you cant why not print out your question and give them that. I am so sorry that your doctor does not seem to be taking you seriouly again I suggest you show him this question.



I wish you so much happiness for the future I an sure you will get throyght this but I know only you can help your self

Answer 35

You sound really really low, my heart goes out to you.

My daughter is 27, has had an eating disorder for years, at least 14 years; has attempted suicide twice.

currently, after four months of antidepressants last year, she was finally stabilized on Prozac. the year has been filled with me and her husband battling with mental health services to get her the right treatment. She now sees a psychiatrist once a month; sees a counsellor twice a month; sees an eating disorder specialist twice A YEAR!

I don't know where you live, but I can recommend a new book by a G.P. called Harry Barry, called "Flagging the Problem" in which he explores the roots of depression; his views are refreshing and encouraging to anyone who is depressed. He believes that most depression has a physical cause; in my daughter's case, her brain does not produce seretonin, the "happy" chemical; so we had to find ways of boosting the production of it. She is now taking high dose fish oil capsules, and is well.

I greatly sympathise with the lack of support you are getting. One doctor we saw told me my daughter was "a spoilt brat" and having "tantrums".I work in the health services, and had the knowledge to challenge him.

Don't be too hard on your mum; she is probably worried sick about you, and she needs support too. Why not accept from your family that you need help? My daughter has so many guardian angels now that she will never get so ill again!

The world seems very black and hopeless to you now - but please take heart from my story. A year ago, my daughter was a hopeless, weeping wreck; I feared that she would succeed in taking her own life.

Today, she is stable, driving a car, going back to part-time study, and able to function.

Take heart.

Answer 36

You need to forcus on something postive, even if its only small and break down life into small pireces you can manage. Congradulate yourself you have survived the last hour/day and only ask yourself to get through the next hour, couple of hours or so.



Write out all you feel and keep on writing to its all out and you have nothing left to say for now and then burn it and go for a walk or to do something fun.



Self harming is going to achieve nothing and does not really change anything. You need to find support and people that care.



Why should you need to be punished what have you done that is so bad? You seem to have set yourself unrealistic goals.



Why not find a youth club you could join. Look up some ways to exercise on the web and see which you might enjoy then try it.



Also try to build in as much routine as to you can into your day, routine makes us feel secure because we know what is going to happen next. It also means you can mentally tick of the bad stuff you dont like doing and look forward to the good stuff.



Go to the libraury and borrow some life stories it will help you see other people have felt like this and survived and if they can you can.



You could also get some self help books people will be more willing to help you when they see our helping yourself.



Try and do something nice for one person each day, even if its only opening the door for someone or a friendly hello. It will make them smile and make you feel better about yourself because you have given someone else some pleasure.

Answer 37

take a deep breath. try a fresh start, go 2 new places, meet new people, get new clothes, relax and read a good book or have relaxing baths.do things u enjoy doing, give yourself something 2 look forward 2 once in a while like a holiday/outing. try looking in the mirror and compliment yourself and ignore the bad points, if u feel confident it shows on the outside. Maybe change your normal routine to a new one so everyday dosen't seem the same. think 2 yourself that suicide is like giving in and that u can prove 2 everyone that u can do it. there are lots of people in the world worse off, suffering from starvation and absolute poverty. Never give up

Answer 38

I know how you feel because i myself have depression,anxiety disorder and an emotional eating problem. It's tough to live with these things on a day to day basis but the only reason i'm still here is because i've learnt how to think positive,it's not easy and it takes time but i'm trying to see the good in everything and looking forward to doing little things,such as watching a favourite movie or taking my neices to the park,i tell myself that life is too short to be depressed and that i wont be alive forever so make the most of the time you got,hope that helps x

Answer 39

Hi Hunny,



I am sorry u r feeling so depressed, being a teenager is a hard time, with all those hormones rushing around can make even the simplest task a hard one, i suffered from anorexia, bullmia and depression in my teens brought on by abuse and the death of my mother.



How i got away from that deep dark hole? Well when the hormones calmed down i decided to help others in my situation, and with the wealth of knowledge and trauma i had been through, i began to see that even though what i went through was horrific, i got through it and i was stronger and that i could make a difference in someones life, and i have done that many times over.



And you can do the same!! visualise ur life up till now and draw a line under it! say that today is the day it all changes and gets better, and it will! I do even now have my bad days days when i dont want to get out of bed and i want to just disappear. and on those days give in and let it consume me but the next day i get up feeling better, knowing that, that day is gone and today is another day to make a difference!



Good luck x

Answer 40

I think you have made it through the first step as you recognise that you don't like the person that you are.



Only you can make all this go away, that's by taking each day at a time and doing something challenging to you each day. Being thankful for making it through the next day.



I think you don't really want to end it as you have gone to the trouble of seeking help



Its not always going to be like this, one day you will wake up and realise that you have things to be grateful for.



Sometimes parents don't always say the right things. But you are clever than that. I think you need to tell them that you are aware that you have your bad days, but you need encouragement to get through this. Know that there are good days to be had to.



Join an internet forum where you can shout out your views.



You could try seeing a different doctor to arrange cognitive behavioural therapy which is know to work



I advise going to a gym to improve your body, at first it will be hard, but it will be something to give you extra happy endorphins, you will notice your body looking better as time goes, will be an opportunity to meet new friends that exercise there.



Theres a good book below which may help you

Answer 41

You need to speak to a different doctor at your practice. You can usually specify who you would like to see, but you may have to wait a bit longer for the appointment. I get depressed and I went to see Dr A, and as I was telling him my problems, he was just staring around the room like a kid, not even listening. I asked to see Dr B and he was great. You need to say about how useless the psychiatric nurse was, and making you feel worse for the visit. They're not all the same, there are good ones, but sometimes you need a few visits to figure out who's good. I've also phoned the Samaritans. the one I spoke to mostly listened, but that's what you need by the sound of it. Do you feel any better that so many people who don't know you care enough to take time to answer your question? If it didn't matter, no-one would have bothered, but at least 180 people have. At least 180 people care about YOU. You stick with it, cos it DOES get better, and obviously you are intelligent enough to seek help.

Answer 42

hey sweetie, sounds like you are having a rough time of it. first thing I would say is change your doctor and counsellor. They don`t sound like they are helping at all. My mother suffers from depression and although she seems to be doing well now, due to the incompetence of the health service at the time, it has taken nearly all my life for her to get to the stage she is at now. So you need to push for the help you need and keep pushing for it, the mental health service is there to help and if you push hard enough you`ll get the help you need. Either speak to your doctor again, or try and speak to another one. Try checking with your local council or health service as to whether there is a counselling service available to you without going through a doctor. I know my area has one.

Secondly, its awful to hear how much you hate yourself. You need to try and focus on the things you like about yourself, no matter how little they are, and take your thoughts away from the things you don`t like. easier said than done I know, but I promise you its all in your head. Forget what your mum said, how can you be a shame to your family, unless there is something you haven`t mentioned, the only thing wrong is your depression, and that is an illness that can be treated. Self harm is not the answer, it will only make you look at the scars and hate yourself even more. My mum used to burn herself with cigarettes on her arms, and now she regrets it, as the scars are still there. I know everything I`m saying you probably have an answer for, but you should try and get more help, its not something you can get over on your own. You at least need someone to let steam off to or talk to. Good luck honey, keep pushing!!

Answer 43

Baby Girl, just look and see how many people have left you words of encouragement. If you were worthless we would not have taken time to tell you that you're wrong, and that you're PRICELESS. We can't always help what we encounter in our lives, and we have to learn how to cope with what ever we're dealt. Suicide is not a means of solving anything. And, please do not contemplate it as a way to get back at those who have hurt you or abandoned you. Our parents don't always understand us, it's hard cos they're so close, it's easier for someone else to be objective, and more diplomatic, not taking sides, you understand. We all want you to believe that what you're feeling is able to be overcome, and that not every nurse or GP or psychiatrist is the ONLY one who can help. They are like a pair of shoes, it does not matter what size it says on the shoes, you have to try them on to make sure they're a good fit, and walk around in them a bit to make sure they're comfortable, am I right, you know I am. You asked a question, and look at how many people are telling you not to give up, to persevere and keep trying until you find the right people to assist you in repairing your broken angel wings. Don't worry about what other people say, I'm guessing that your mum is frustrated cos she can't make what ever is hurting you stop. We don't think you're lying or worthless or any of the negative things people have said to you. And there are more of us saying so than otherwise, so we must be right! You don't have to be punished, don't punish yourself by allowing the pain to continue. Make the decision to take control and do what ever it takes to be well again. No one can do that for you, you have to be tough and do it! Be strong for yourself. We all know you can do it, and we believe in you. Don't do anything that will jeopardize your future. Nothing is forever, everything we go through is just a temporary situation. Good luck to you, sweetie. Many people have given you good resources, please check them all and you will find the right one for you. We care for you, take care of yourself!

Answer 44

I have been through this all myself when I was 20. Now 22 and doing much better. My advice, move away, get a new job, get some new friends and leave all the **** behind you. Us depressives can never stay still and I had to come to terms with that. Forgive people for what they have done, go to AA, work the 12 steps, learn to understand who you are and come to terms with it. Believe in a power greater than yourself and that everything happens for a reason. Live it, enjoy it, think every day is your last and do everything you want to do, if you want to kill yourself do it after you have done everything you want to do first, experience life and see whether you really want to stop living, you have nothing to lose. Stop punishing yourself for being who you are, help others and feel better about being who you are. Start to love those things you now hate, no matter how hard it is. Learn about your condition, study NLP, get a pet, smile!

Answer 45

The Mind website also offers information in an easy to read format and might help you to understand your depression, anxiety and eating problems. Also what help you should look for and where to start.



As others have suggested, you should go back to your Dr's surgery and make an appointment with a different GP. I think you need to do this as soon as you can, tell them it's an emergency and don't let them fob you off. As it's Easter you won't be able to do that until next week now, but does your town have a surgery that offers a walk in service while ordinary surgeries are closed?

Answer 46

I don't even know what to say... I hate myself as well. You sound like a pretty nice person... I really want to help you, but I can't. I have the same opinion of myself. I have issues myself, and everywhere I go I cause trouble. I feel terrible for you.

My personal opinion is that you need a friend. Someone supportive. Someone who can help you carry through life. I know you might ask me something like; "But I'm horrible. Even my family doesn't like me. HOW will I get a friend?" And I'm really beyond sorry, I don't know an answer to that. I can't make any close friends myself. I'm really sorry. I feel your pain.

Answer 47

This review saddens me and I only read the first few lines to come with a plan on what you need to do. You probably have so many things buzzing around you, you don't know what to do. Your confused, sad, nervous etc..right?



Anyway, you probably feel that seeing your counsellor is that one chance to pour your heart out and you feel better afterwards.



What you need to do, is you need to start being happy again and loving yourself. Easier said than done. Join a new club (what are you good at? Tennis? Badminton?) and then your soon meet new friends. Make arrangements and go out with them on week days, when you have their trust your soon find you can open up to a lot more people and that you won't be as lonely.



When your happiness has returned so will everything else. You must deal with this before anything else.



Find a way to control your anxiety like somebody else said, sit by a river and relax. Go to the park, shade under a tree. Go on holiday...whatever gets you going and puts a smile on your face!

Answer 48

I hate myself too. I always ask why I belittle myself. I do it because I became the epitamy of everything I hate. I can't stay faithful. I ruin every oppurtunity to not sleep on my moms couch. I just got dumped and I was told I was the worst human being alive. That no one had done this person as dirty as I did. I hate myself truelly. I am negative, I hate life. I envy everyone elses. I compare myself to everyone else. I am 25, most of my friends are engaged can keep a job and almost done with school. I can't keep jobs,boyfriends ****, not even appointments. I don't think there is anyone that hates themselves as much as me.

Answer 49

Oh heck honey,

I just wrote you a long answer and then deleted it by accident.... who knows it may turn up but til then let me remember...

Firstly I think you are really brave for posting the question - there is a little bit of you that obviously wants to survive and doesnt want to hurt yourself and thats the bit you need to develop.



You are asking for help rightly and the unfortunate thing is that the people you have asked have , in your eyes let you down,



Your GP doesnt sound too helpful - so is there another GP in your practice you could go and see ( GP's do vary in their sensitivities and expertise. )



You need counselling to get your head around what is happening. Lots of people feel the same as you do right now and they do get past it.



Sometimes it happens that you will disagree with people that you want to agree with you! That doesnt mean that they dont care about you or that they have given up on you- it just means that they have another point of view, a different idea on what is happening, and although it might be annoying sometimes its worth going with that for a while just to see where it leads. Thats not to say you are wrong and they are right - or vice versa, just that its always worth a look to help you understand why you are where you are right now..



I'm not a mum but I think its great that you confided in her and it was the right thing to do.



Playing devils advocate here but I get the feeling that your mum listened and just didnt know what to do. If she didint care she would have done nothing with the information you gave her but instead maybe she thought "i dont know what to do with this" and so she asked other people in the family what could she do to help you?



I think you have made a really big step in asking for help, help is out there, you really aren't on your own - you have 46 answers to your question from perfect strangers (ok maybe not perfect...!) who care about someone they have never met and wont ever meet.



If it gets really s*** , if you fell there is noone then please call The samaritans - google them - you dont have to talk you can email them and they will help. Or child line ( you dont have to be a child to call them). Take care of you x

Answer 50

You really do need to see yr GP and tell them how you're feeling.

I have suffered from ALL of the things you mention here at one point or another. I've had all kinds of therapy....tablets....etc etc and at some level that made me feel crap in the first place cos I would think stuff like 'see, it's only me who needs therapy, everyone else can cope...why am I so crap' etc etc. Last year however, I again went on a course of antidepressants AND a course of therapy, both of which have helped me immensely.Another thing that helped me was someone telling me that I wwasn't crap unless I thought I was....and really deep down I knew I wasn't. I'd never killed anyone...never even hurt anyone or anything! and if you think about it, how many people do you know that ARE crap...that have done some bad/nasty things in their life...and they don't beat themselves up about it. They just get on with it.

About feeling fat.... I'm feeling very fat right now!!! It seems to be an in built part of female life now!!! It's something you'll be able to have a giggle about when you're feeling better. I still have my days of feeling crap about myself BUT I now also have my days when I just don't care.....it's normal to have lummpy bits and wobbly bits! It is not normal NOT to!!!! and just think what these real stick insect types feel when they sit down....it MUST hurt if you've got bones for a bum!!!!

Please get help....keep writing on here if you need to....you know deep, deep down that you're a normal, good person :)

Answer 51

I know how you are feeling but death is not the way out all that will do is hurt anyone who cares about you. People don't understand what goes on inside our heads. what you need is a friend you can talk to man or woman you just need to talkto someone. And I don't think they need a degree to help. ya right listen to the idiot that wants to die because he lost his family in a fire four years ago. But I'm still here tring to help people with there problems so I can forget mine. You have a good life waiting for you alll ya have to do is except yourself for what you are and forget what everyone else thinks it is your life. If you want to be happy just make it so love. You are incontrol of you and if you put yourself in the gutter thats where you will be. like someone said go see the ocien or a river it is very sothing and calming. Keep your head up if I can make it you can luv. Jim Ps if you want a pen pal I'm here for ya !

MY E-MAIL is on the site below JIm

Answer 52

Don't hate yourself! You are precious no matter what! You have a right to feel the feelings you feel. No one can tell you what you should or should not be feeling. Try to focus on all the positive things because I know there are positive things about you. Suicide is not the answer! but I can understand how you would feel that it is. There was a time in my live I thought the same. I am sure you are a beautiful person and you have a brain and are intelligent. Be determined to prove to everyone (including yourself) that you are a 'worthwhile human being' because you are!!!

What you believe you will achieve so believe in yourself because you are the only one who matters!!!

Answer 53

I know its easy for me to say but try and think of all of the positive things in your life. I'm 22 and i recently lost my dad to cancer and thought that life sucked and that life was unfair, Ive taken a lot of hurt and an awful lot of pain in the last few months and its taken every inch of my being to see that no matter what life through as you you have to get on with it. Although i don't know you I'm sure your a good person, your healthily and have a full and successful life to look forward to. Life is far to short to be thinking so negatively, surround yourself with positivity, take up a new hobby, meet some new people. Theres only only of you and its up to you to make the most of what Little time we have. I know its hard but you will come out of this, it may sound harsh but theres always someone who's worse off than you. I hope u start to see life a little differently, its really not that bad. xx

Answer 54

Hiya, first of all **** happens, its not a nice world, n u need to cope with it best you can a bit harsh but that is life.

Obviously u r not coping very well, ignore all the cunts on here who add their stupid little remarks to make you feel bad and start to make positive changes in your life.

You need to get some type of emotional help, there are plenty of support groups on the net/ a CARING Dr/ friends/ family etc or even just drop me a line.

You also need to start taking care of your self, there have been many different pieces of research conducted that state exercise can combat depression better than pills so get out in the fresh air n exercise, also try and focus on the positive things in your life- a roof over your head- your health- your job-the fact you do not live in a war torn country basically anything you feel thankful for. i am not trying to make light of what you are feeling by any means and still think you should seek help

take care joey x

Answer 55

Oh Honey. It sounds like you have some serious issues going on. You have to work on the underlying cause of your problems. The Depression, Anxiety, and Eating Disorders are just complications from the real problem. The first thing you need to do is call your counselor and tell her that you are having a crises. You need to see her within the next 24 hours or so. Have you ever been on anti Depressants? if not you should consider talking to your doctor about being on something. You need a counselor that will not try the band aid approach and only discuss the obvious issues that you are struggling from but those lying under the surface.

You need to work on your sel-esteem and confidence. these are things that you can do on your own you don't need anyone else.

As for your friend. it sounds like you may have wore her out. think about it if you had a friend that always came to you with her problems and complained to and such it would be hard to always be there for her! right? She may have been having some problems of her own and felt that she needed some time to deal with her issues.

Your mom may not be equipped to help you with your issues and may have been trying to confied in other family members to know what to do to help.

That is not to excuse what she did, only to try to help you see where she may have been comming from.

You need to Find another Dr. that will adress you and your issues seriously. and you may need another counselor as well uf the one you have now is not helping you in the way you need.



Please don't think suicide is the way out. It is a Perminant Solution to a temprary problem



I hope I helped you.



please feel free to message me if you need anything

Answer 56

First of all stand up & say f..k 'em all!! At the top of your loudest voice possible I am going to be happy or atleast die trying!! I think U have to touch inside your soul but more imp act straight away. Today in fact. Be hubristic to your demons that they will not take you without a f..king fight! No one deserves to die for being who they are. First try maybe going 4 a run but push yourself to a pulp. Hit trees & draw blood if you have to. With all that anger & hate you have 4 yourself make it anger to your feeling sad. Re-direct your negativity to positivity & keep at it. It is your desire to be out of this rutt 4 YOU f..k everyone else!! Remember those around you may not be assisting as they see you as a sad person inside. Find new friends / environments that have no judgement of you. Remember F..k 'em all but have strength. When you are through all this, which you will, you being a victim in life does not mean you make another a victim!! That is v.imp as your anger will become determination, happiness & honour 4 yourself & others.

Answer 57

It is so nice to see that so many people care about you. Almost everyone is asking you to look at your self and solve the problem. I do not think that it is your fault that you do not like yourself. I think it is the media and advertising that makes most of us to feel the similar way. But most of us do not find the language to express it as you did. My suggestion would be – Do not look at yourself for now. Try looking at others. Try to look at people who have worse situation than you. People, who cannot eat, do not have a place to live, do not have a family, people who sleep in the street in the rain and cold. There are many people around the world who are leading a miserable life that you would not even imagine. If that makes you too sad than for a short period of time look at the beautiful creatures in the nature, how they are created, their details, their combination of colours, their designs! Try to do something for others. Even if it is as small as carrying a heavy bag for an old person! These may sound silly but trust me and start it, once you get the taste you will feel like you will never get tired even if you get a life of 200 years!



I hope these ideas would help. Don’t hesitate to mail if you need more support!



May ‘Allah’ help you!

Answer 58

hey, hey,

don't feel like that. if you need help anyone here, i'm sure is willing to help you. first off, though, even if you suffer from depression, you need to look at yourself in a positive light. im sure that you are an extremely beautiful girl and i am sure that if you start thinking positively and shut out the negative, you will start to feel better. Have you heard of the law of attraction? it states that if you think something and beleive it, it will in some way come to you, or at least closer to you. just look at everything in a positive manner. i know it sounds hard, but i know you can do it! a great friend of mine told me: "Everything will be alright in the end, if everything is not alright, it isn't the end"... this doesn't mean suicide or self mutilation. just try and get through this "down-spell" and youll make out ok. i hope this helps good luck to you and i hope you have a better day tomorrow.

sincerely,

Devin

Answer 59

Sweetie don't listen to all these awful comments. Why do you have such a poor perception of yourself? Perhaps you need to see a different doctor and tell him/her exactly how you feel. You seem to have sunk very low. Do you have periods where you feel really really happy and then sink back down again? You self esteem seems to be really low as well.

I know what you mean about feeling uncomfortable in your own skin. I too feel this way but I believe it is the way I see myself. Everyone else seems to see me differently. I'm trying to look upon things in a different light. Take the attitude if you don't like what you see don't look.

REMEMBER you are a beautiful individual, no one else is exactly the same as you, you are unique. You deserve to be loved and appreciated for what and who you are. Also remember you are never alone! People don't seem to understand how you feel and just think you can snap out of it and when you don't they get frustrated.

Answer 60

I am so sorry you are hurting right now. I went through depression as a teen but got through ok. Now I am a mom to 4 girls and a boy. Try something opposite to emotion to help. Try to remember what once gave you joy and make every attempt to do it. Read funny books, watch funny movies. Usually when we are down we dwell in the sad stuff. Laughing can do wonders. Depression is very real and very difficult no matter what age you are. Go to an art museum, listen to up beat music. Go for a walk in a garden, read the bible, smell pleasant smells like lavendar or go to store and try some new perfume testers. Trust me with time this uneasy stage will pass. I tried suicide several times as a teen but thank God I did not succeed. I now have beautiful children to fill my life. I do not take meds now but take 10 1000mg of fish oil to balance my emotions and it works wonders but is not an overnight cure. Fish oil takes about a month to work. Hope this helps.

Answer 61

You have had so many answers that shows how many people out there care about you and what happens to you. Your Mum is probably desperate to help and does not know how that is why she has told other members of your family she cant cope on her own.I think the person who suggested going along to a church and talking to the pastor has the right sort of idea it would help you and you could help them help others as well,you are not a bad person you do deserve to be loved .It is hard for your family to help you at the moment a pastor or or person in the church could help you and someone with your experiences could be a great help to others, with my love and best wishes Lucy

Answer 62

if i were you, I'd go see a different doctor. depression is very real, and usually isn't a PHASE you'll grow out of. the good news is that over time you will learn how to handle the bad feelings you are having. i was diagnosed at 14 (I'm 34 now) with chronic depression. there are times (like now) that you may feel everyone is "dumping" you. if this is the case, then it's time to meet new people that actually care about you and your feelings. it is hard to overcome depression on your own, and you shouldn't have to handle it alone. find a counsellor or a crisis phone line in your area, and keep talking to people. there are tonnes of professionals out there that can help you. it may take time to find the right one, but don't give up!

you are NOT alone in your feelings. i give you credit for having the strength to admit you need help! most people are too chicken to admit what you are feeling. you may not realize it right now, but you seem like a strong person who can get through this.

sending lots of hugs (if you want them)! good luck, and continue to be strong! good luck

Answer 63

They're not all the same, there are good ones, but sometimes you need a few visits to figure out who's good. I've also phoned the Samaritans. the one I spoke to mostly listened, but that's what you need by the sound of it. Do you feel any better that so many people who don't know you care enough to take time to answer your question? If it didn't matter, no-one would have bothered, but at least 180 people have. At least 180 people care about YOU. You stick with it, cos it DOES get better, and obviously you are intelligent enough to seek help.

Answer 64

Someone I know that's very close to me in the family has depression and the way they deal with it is they write a list of the things they're good at. Or they write a list about what other people think they are good at. They read it every night and persuade themselves to believe it & they say it sort of helps, you could give that a try. I feel sorry that you're family don't believe in you....you're way to freedom will only be found with your family's support. Try and bring them back round again. The person I know who has depression has had it for almost 2 years now but I swear I see a change. Good luck and don't stop trying! xXx

Answer 65

Try looking for a tape with the sounds of nature on or a thundery nigh or maybe dolphins and the sea or somethink then sit in a room on your own with a few sented candles play the tape and listen to it for 1 hour or so whilst cuddleing up with your blanklet a cup of hot chocolate a warm bowl of soup and a hot warter bottle this should help u feel very safe and relacsed good luck

Answer 66

Sweetheart we all have problems in life and some much worse than others. You just seem not to have had the support you need. Its a good thing that your reaching out to get answers and i wish i was qualified to help you through them all but i'm not. Eating disorders are not just a phase, i know and have heard of people that have had disorders for years. And as for a nurse telling you your a stupid teenager is wrong and immoral. As for your mother she is probably under an imense amount of pressure but thats no excuse for telling you your shameful. You need to seek help, many charities in the uk are free and 24 hours a day help line but i dont know whether you live in the uk. Suicide is Never Never an answer believe me try to put that completly out of your mind. Human beings can be very dissapointing but i assure you there are people out there that will help you. I would say you need to sit down and write a letter to your mother telling her how you feel inside and how much you need her to help you. Are there any teachers at your school that may be sympathetic? I know this may all be words to you but there are good people out there and you also sound like one of them. Remember that soon you will smile again. PLease please find help research on the internet for charities in your area that specilise in this, confide in your family too as ultimatly they love you. Remember there are others out there that have been through this and know how you feel and can help you. I wish you the best of luck and hope that in a few years time you will look back at this stronger and more confident. x

Answer 67

hunni, if ur mum didn't care, she wouldn't let u live there still, i don't think she thinks ur a shame on the family at all, i think she just doesn't understand u, and doesn't know how desperate you are, go to your doctor, and ask them to refer u to another counsellor, and explain things properly, also, exercise is good for depression, it stimulates the mind, body and soul and makes u feel good, take one step at a time, and try to achieve something, something little, change the things you do everyday, like take a different route to work, go for a walk, when ur in ur room, instead of listening to music read a book, or write one.each little step u make will make u feel better, and that's a small achievement, when u wake up, look in the mirror and say: i am worth something, i matter repeat that everyday, u drum it into urself and gradually u will believe it, make it ur mission everyday to find something to make u smile and eventually u will become so obsessed with finding something u will forget ur sad, good luck, i wish you well

Answer 68

Check out the Mind organisation group they run walk in centres for depression and anxiety. I had seven years of major anxiety and depression and they helped more than the doctors. Hating yourself is normal when you suffer from depression but it can put you in a place that is hard to get out of, you can start thinking that everything you do goes wrong and that it's all to much, well this may seem true but it's not. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. We are all thinking of you ( Me and some others that suffer as well ) Try to love yourself. Good luck from some friends :>

Answer 69

I am so sorry you are being treated in such a way, if the Psychiatric nurse said such a dreadful thing that person should be reported (the down side to reporting someone in the psychiatric sector is it can adversely affect the way you are treated). I don't know which country you are in but in the UK there is an organisation called the Samaritans, they can be contacted 24 hours a day, they are trained and will listen, what you tell them is confidential.

I hope that you get the help and support you deserve

Answer 70

i know how you feel i suffer from depression and its not funny but if you have a church or should i say a chapel close by why don't you go there and make friends i dont have any faith in doctors all they want to do is use you like a guinea pig to taste out all those drugs they have that make you feel ten times worse than you all ready do every day when i get up and try and fight it there is always some one or something that knocks you down try not to look on the dark side of life but try and think that there is always someone out there worse of than you why dont you get a little pet to care for and love they will give you lots of love back i wouldnt be with out my dogs they are my rock and my life you are not a shame on any one and your mum had no rite to say that perhaps she was just angry with you they say you always hurt the one you love keep your pecker up and go down to your local chapel and talk to the minister there and make some friends take care and god bless it sounds to me reading about your back ground on all your other question that this goes back some time you are a 20 year old who has got all her life ahead of her so why dont you go and do that nursing course you wanted to do go for it it may just be what you need to get you on your feet show your mum that you can do it now come on dont be silly do your hair and get out there and fite that big world out there i dont like to hear a young girl talking like you are you have so much in life to live for i wish i new what part of ireland you live i live in wales but i have a cousin with a large family liveing in donegal

Answer 71

Hi



i don't know if you are in the UK but if you are really depressed and feeling suicidal then I suggest that you go to the nearest "walk-in" centre or Casualty and ask for a CPN or an assessment for your illness, the other ways to get help is via a Social worker doctor or at worst the police. Other sources of help may be Mind or Mencap.

Answer 72

Please read this. I promise that you can do ANYTHING. Miracles happen every day. Get a good job, Believe in yourself, and make you dreams real. I've never given up and because of that, I've become really successful. With the help of God and talking it out with the right person, everything fell into place. There is ALWAYS something or someone who can help you. You just need to talk it out. Talk to the guidance counselor at your school, or anybody that you feel like you can trust. Everything gets better. It did for me! I used to be so depressed and thought i would never be anything good or have a nice life. I realized that i had to make a change. I realized that if i wanted something to happen, i had to make it happen. So i did. I did things i loved, i talked to God, and when your under 18, you dont have that much freedom as you would at 18. Just wait youll love ur life. Get a good job, believe, and you can do anything

Answer 73

When you feel low and depressed about a particular thing or situation, try to find a positive that can be gained from it. For example...I was in a situation where I was too depressed and unwell to cope with work so I was unemployed. My natural reaction was that this was an entirely negative and awful thing . But I learnt that only by having that time off was I able to devote the time and resources to getting the proper treatment and get on the road to feeling well again.

Answer 74

To be honest with you....., - the answers aren't here and there is no help, and there is nobody to go to.....



I myself have been in exactly the same situation as you in the past (6 years ago). People are always going on about it, 'if you're ever in any trouble, have problems and need any help, don't be afraid to ask for it'.... I finally listened to others and thought I'd swallow my pride and ask for help, and guess what happened - everyone I turned to ran off, I turned to professionals, they were only there as they were paid to - they didn't care, offered sod all advice and were of no use at all.....it got to the point where one day I was in the college toilets and i burst out crying - i just cried, on and on,......forever.....actually, it was about two hours straight - I was practically bawling in there, all I could keep crying out loud was ' oh help God me, oh god help me please....' - anyone who came in, hastily walked out immediately.....I could hear someone outside the toilets and I was sure it was one of my teachers - I heard him say ' god, someone's really bawling in there'......I didn't intend anyone to hear this or wanted any attention...but noone came to check if everything was alright.......I nearly died that day.......the fact is, no-one really cares, - whatever they say........after the two hours when I came out - I was surprised I hadn't topped myself there and then......I too was suffering from severe depression then......I didn't go to the doctors, they can be pretty unhelpful.....i didn't go to anyone in the end........



Listen, the only one you can rely on is yourself, the only one who can help is yourself, if you don't help yourself, no-one can, if you give up, then it's the end and that's it.........don't worry about what others say.....only you can do what you know you need to do....if there's something you want to do in life and you care enough about it then you keep yourself in order and look after yourself and then you can do whatever you want. Remember, you are the one in control, and you are the one who can make the decisions. You have a choice - of course, there are always consequences - but whatever they may be - it's up to you, don't give yourself the excuse to place the blame on others - you always have a choice and only you can help yourself. Already, you are showing strength by coming on here and confronting the issue - good luck! ( I hope this has help, if you need a chat - feel free to contact me)

Answer 75

I've been through a lot of that.



After a car crash, overdose, a lot of wrist-cutting and feeling alone, I eventually got much better. I realised hurting myself was a waste of time. I don't want to go down that road again.

I'm trying to sort my life out and I know it will take time.



You aren't a bad person and have a lot of potential. I think if you are determined to get better and live a happy life, things will start to pick up for you.



Learn to ignore the negative crap that people say to you. You'll become a stronger person.

Answer 76

you know what, it seems to me that alot of kids about at the minute atre bleating on about being 'depressed' or suicidal and all that crap. No wonder your mate dumped you if all you wanna do is moan and talk about yourself.

Get a goddamn grip girl, you live in a rich country, your safe here, you can get an education, get a job, have a life, all without fear of starvation or inequality. If you think your life is so crap then why don't you use your computer to right now have a look at some websites on third world countries, children being sold as sex slaves, countries where you would be forced into marriage at as young as eight, where there is no clean water and you know that you are likely to die if not in childbirth then of some other completely preventable disease.

There are people so poor their children work 16 hour days sorting through huge piles of rubbish to find metal to recycle, people with so little they abandon children to orphanages because they can't feed them, and these babies don't even cry because they are left alone so long they learn there is no point to.

Don't you dare sit there in your warm house on a computer that cost more than a family of four in Vietnam survive on for a year and moan about how hard your life is. You want to see and feel REAL pain? Watch your babystarve to death because you have so little to eat your body can't make milk. The teenagers of this country disgust me, they commit vandalisim that we then pay for with huge council tax bills, then they expect to be given evereything on a plate, then sit around crying no one loves them if they aren't the centre of attention every minute o the day.

I tell you what sweetheart, get a plane ticket to Romania and have a little look at the orphanages there, I have pictures I cn email you if you want to see REAL depressing stuff, like kids who don't know how to walk when they are THREE because they have never been let out of the cots where they are rammed in ten a time.

WAKE UP, look around you at this amazing country you live in, there is a world of opportunities for you here, don't sit back and wait for it to come to you, go get it, and STOP being such a stupid little pathetic selfish self centred fool. go to Africa and come back and tell me YOU have problems, yeah you do have a problem, and it's not knowing how lucky you are.

Answer 77

You've already had lots of advice and tips so what more can I say?



I see that you're a good contributor to YA and have reached Level 3 with 21% Best Answers. Well done!! This is something that you're good at and I'm sure there's loads more!



Seek different professional help, particularly with regard to counselling. Keep on contributing to YA and find other interests too.

Answer 78

whenever you feel down try and think back on the things that used make you feel happy and make you smile, such as songs you used listen to or a movie you have seen.

as regard to the "friend" that dropped you, srew them they obviously are not a real friend so you are better off with out them.

i know this might seem stupid but you should give it a try...google "slink" and the results should come up, slink is an online magazine for teenage girls that you might enjoy, it also has a "i love me" section that you might find helpful. it has a positive thoughts generator, happiness help, and feel better factfiles.

i really hope this helped, remember

**dont worry...be happy**

Answer 79

hello there, I like to give you some advice. Why don't you go to the near charity place there is, like child welfare, elderly home or even a animal compound and offer your services free of charge to help the people or animals that are in a worse state than you, then you see exactly how lucky you are to be in the position you are in . There are people and animals out there with bigger problems than you and by helping you will built your own confidence and see the world and your body in a different light.

Answer 80

I hope you can get beyond these things your feeling and start to feel good about yourself soon, you don't want to die or hurt yourself, you just want these sh#@ feelings to stop. Try and start telling yourself that your not below or above anyone else and walk down the street looking straight ahead not at the ground, tell yourself your strong and be strong.. Give yourself a go at the positive and good things for 1 year so as to get used to it, Because after that you can always go back to feeling the way you are now,BUT i bet you wont want to by then. So give that a go, don't keep hurting yourself.. You will be OK....

Answer 81

It is obvious you need help and these people shunning you are making things worse. Worse of it all is these are the sort of people you expect to trust and rely on to help you through difficult times and are totally unprofessional. My heart goes out to you. There is a man called Jeremy Kyle who is excellent at helping people in their time of need. He never judges people and he will treat you with respect. He can put you in touch with a great psychotherapist called Graham. Get in contact with Jeremy Kyle through his website. Don't give up hope. I know you can beat this. No-one deserves to feel like this. I wish you all the best and hope you eventually find happiness. Good luck, stay strong and be happy.

Answer 82

Don't give up, you need some positive events in your life. I have a girlfriend who was, and to some extent still is like you. It is very hard to be with someone like you, it takes a lot out of you. You just need someone who will listen to you, not judge you or critise you. You in turn need to recognise that you have a problem, you need to be honest, first with yourself, and then with others. I expect you have been like this for a long time, and now it has become the norm. Good luck, thinking of you.

Answer 83

May be of no help, but I have been in your shoes , I was told that no one can not feel fat , to say that it is an emotional issue you have with yourself , self esteem its really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel where living in t , with me I try hard to pull on my life skills, I have learn over the years , of high low moods , all they offer me is medication that I do not like taking so I ve had cognitive recognise physiotherapy, sadly at the end of the day we can only change are self, if we want to , as you can’t help someone that won’t help themselves only give them advice that’s why recognise therapy help me



Wishing you all the best for the future

Answer 84

You must be going through such a hard time in your life. Can I assure you things will get better. I will guess you are between the age of 13 and 22. You cant blame your mum for telling another family member. Remember parents are only human, she was probably just looking for advise herself. I can promise you you will come out of this episode a stronger person!! Look after yourself, and stay strong!

Answer 85

have you tried calling the Samaritans? i dont know the number but i am sure they have a website? please dont suffer in silence any longer and give them a call. your mum does not sound very understanding about this. if you were my daughter i would be very worried about your mental health! you dont say how old you are but you could ring childline maybe? has something in your life triggered this depression? do you have any friends? i know its not very hip but do you have a local church? you could speak to someone there and make friends? if they have a local youth group. best of luck to you. and chin up. the teenage years are often the worst. xxxx p.s volunteering is a great idea try your local charity shop. or special needs centre. my daughter has down syndrome and there are lots of teenagers who help out at the childrens centre which she attends every month and they have a great time helping others in need.

Answer 86

I had a very similar problem, my mum didnt seem to understand either! I got a puppy and prayed! Plus seeing a good therapist. It really did work. I felt like I had someone to talk to in god and the puppy meant I had to keep going because I had to look after her. it will pass, trust me. If you simply are open to help and try to look on the bright side, hard and all as it seems. if you see something as good today, you will enjoy two things tomorrow! Honestly, if you believe yourself you will get better, it will make it a lot easier. Good luck!

Answer 87

heya. ok im a 15 year old boy and i dont like to say but im a bit fat as well. i know what u feel like: and sometimes it can really really hurt deep down. But i just feel that if people dont like me for what i am, then why should i bother with them? i bet you're a really nice girl, and u seem like a loyal friend: someone who people can talk to. i know im sounding a bit weiiird now, but just stop hating yourself. there are many people in the world that love u, and doing this to yourself never helps. i know it hurts, but ask yourself: do YOU really hate yourself or is it just some idi0ts that have somehow made u think this.



i know that im sounding poxy now (!!!) but i want you to stop this, cos you dont deserve this, and you're not going to give in. i want you to wipe away those tears foreeeever, admit that you are a wonderful nice girl, and put a nice BIIIIGGGGsmile on your face!!!!!!!! (sorry im a bit crazy when in comes to typing!!!)



BTW look 90 people+ have stood by you on this site alone! it just shows that people do care about u, and theyre ALL saying not to do something like that

Answer 88

honey us on yahoo can only advise, i had the same problerms a few yrs ago. maybe change doctor? are u on any medication if not see if a doctor will help with that to take the edge but u need to find the root cause of these problems. if u are on medication perhaps it need changing. or go stright to a and e at the hospital tell them how desperate u are. i wish u all the luck to be happy in the future xxx

Answer 89

Look at the world in the news; wars, murders, greed etc

are everywhere, most citys are like sewers! Ask yourself ' am

I not so much better than that ?' I believe you are and eventualy you will realise this too and accept you have an important part to play. Feel free to mail me if you would like more guidance on beeting depressive disorders.

Answer 90

I agree with everything that Girly - gi said in her answer, I to have been where you are and it's the worst feeling in the world. your mother was wrong saying what she said you are not shame on your family seems to me your mother doesn't care what you are going through and that's sad, all your family members can't all think the way your mother thinks , find a family member that understands, he or she will be supportive. anyway do everything that girly - gi said to do . I believe you will get through to the other side where you can be happy and where you won't hate yourself anymore. If you want to talk please do just leave me a message. take care and I'm thinking of you. be strong.

Answer 91

first of all write a list of things that you like/dislike about yourself. then work your way through it 1 step at a time. set yourself goals and try to achieve maybe 1 a week. stop hating yourself, because thats not good for you. havent yu heard the saying beauty is within. stop putting yourself down and think good thoughts about yourself.ask your friends to go to the gym or swimming with you. thats a good exercise which will help with your weight and also give you a different outlet. ask your mum to sit down with you and explain to her how let you down u feel about her attitude and telling other family members about your predicament. although shes probasbly trying to help and this is her way of doing it. anyway hope this helps good luck

Answer 92

hi,



Don't be harsh on yourself. Obviously you need someone to talk to about what ever is bothering you. It could be something in the pass that have triggered the way that you are feeling and also about your eating dis-order. Is there anyone in your family that you can confide??? How about a close friend??? I think you need someone to listen and also you boost your confidence. It will take time but am sure that you can beat it! Believe in yourself.

Answer 93

Just spend time to think of all the good points about yourself and look around you and see how many people are worse off than yourself. Be brave, be positive. Relax in a nice, warm bath. I find that very helpful if I am feeling depressed.

Answer 94

i feel down about my self from time to tim. it use to be really bad 4years ago, and i wanted to kill myself cus i had gambled £19000 and i had to pay it back with interset, which added up to £65000. i decided to o something to start too get me back on my feet, so i got a tattoo of a Pheonix. the pheonix always rises from the ashes an thats what i will do one day and you will to. gt a good routine going and you will feel you are getting better. the simplest things are the greatest things.



p.s. i also listen and read the lyrics to some great songs that make me feel better, try them



What a Wonderul World

The Master Plan

Alway look on the Bright Side of Life

Answer 95

there are good things in this world to focus on, I used to feel the way you do and I'll tell you it's not easy to get out of but there is light at the end of the tunnel, it just takes a lot of hard work and you have to do it for yourself I'm afraid, i started by smiling at the new flowers on the trees at spring, i know it sounds a bit off the wall but if you find at least one thing to smile at during the day then work your way up to two, even if it's not real the more you do it the easier it will become and the more it will become real, there are good things about you, look at those...you know when you need to reach out to people, you have courage, you wouldn't react the way that others have to you?...this shows compassion and empathy- you have more good qualities than you know, look deep enough and you will find them.

i found that meditating gave me a sense of peace with myself, get a couple of guided meditation tapes/Cd's to follow and it takes effort but believe me if you want to succeed and feel better about your life you'll find the right way for you, it's about changing your internal dialogue and thinking positively

Answer 96

Dying is never a solution..Life is definitely a bumpy ride..everybody has some problem or other..they are imposed on you, to make you strong..not weak..Whatever your problems are, there is definitely a solution..Everybody is unique in their own way...I am sure you like some of yoru charcters..think abt them and try to gain some confidence..The pressure which you have now is just a phase of life.. I am sure when you live upto it..and when you look back these days in future..you will feel strong and satisifed to have crossed them with brave hands..Try to spend time with what you like to do..

Answer 97

I have a friend that suffers with several of your problems, I can understand where your coming from. You need to get a new doctor the one you went to see is very irresponsible, they are their to help you but seem to be doing the opposite.



If you have MySpace go to this page:

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=107290884&MyToken=ed63d6c1-9fb1-4d4a-8c5f-dd0d1b7b7e1d



the guy is amazing.



I don't know how counsellors work, if it's possible could you make another appointment sooner. Best wishes.

Answer 98

I know exactly how you feel. There are times that i feel like that myself. I don't get help for it nobody can really help you but yourself. You have to learn to take things people say with a pinch of salt. Remember people who insult others definitely have low self-esteme's and it makes them feel better about themselves when they run you down. As for the nurse who called you a stupid teenager she needs help herself. She should not be in that job if she cannot control her emotions. Your Mum should not discuss you with others however much pain she feels. Get yourself a diary that can lock and write your thoughts and feelings in there everyday, anytime of the day and you will feel better getting rid of negative feelings. You can write to me anytime when you feel down and out and i really get so angry when someone calls another stupid. Try and enjoy the rest of the weekend, get yourself some good books, books i think you will enjoy and will appeal to you are books written bySophie Kinsella she writes books with the titles, Shopoholic, shopoholic and baby etc etc. They are fun, funny and she does things we can just pray we could afford to do. Spending, spending and spending. The letters she writes to her bank-manager is hilarious. Let me know if you enjoy them ok.

cheers for now and chin up.

Answer 99

go back to your gp and get a second opinion.



try again to get into a psychiatric ward, so they have a chance to diagnose anything that might be of a psychiatric nature.



you might have ocd, with or without depression.



there's no reason to hate yourself. try to learn to meditate, it will calm you and help you slow down your thoughts.



not all mental health professionals are the same, most of them are great at what they do, considering psychiatry is really only just over a hundred years old. the health professionals are human and so are you. don't be so hard on yourself, nobody is perfect.

Answer 100

do you know what captured prisoners do, when they are beig interrigated by the enemy, they look at the interrigator and imagine him with a dummy in his mouth and chocolat aver his face, because thats how most of us used to be, if you keep doing that pretty soon you will be very confident, then you change your image altogether. dress walk and talk like a company director, go to a town where you are not known for the day and try out the new you.

Answer 101

Maybe you should put on some strong music, Rock for example and just wear yourself out by jumping up and down. It relieves my stress it sounds stupid but you know. I'm not as upset like you though, I've thought about killing myself and running away and stuff before aswell, my dad used to hit me and worse. But i knew he loved me he just had anger problems, but that doesn't matter, my dad used to go out running and stuff he used to come back in a happier mood, and if you say you feel fat well, running or atleast excercise like swimming which is relaxing would be good. I'm sorry about your friend by the way. I know how it feels when your mum tells other family members about how you're doing all this and that, my dad does that too, and i desperatly want to live with my mum at times but i cant because she lives in a studio flat, cant afford nothing else! dont kill yourself, there is a really good song by My Chemical Romance I would recomend their site to you here it is http://www.mychemicalromance.com/

go to the songs at the top and click to "Famous Last Words" There are some really good lyrics, the song goes "I am not affraid to keep on living i am not affraid to walk this world alone, " and i try to relate it to myself, it works, it makes you think i might come through this world and have a really good life at the end don't end it before you can live it properly. Creating dreams is good to, I want to be like Avril Lavigne when I'm older it gives you something to look forward to, I love her songs and the way her lyrics go, I like to relate myself to her songs aswell.

http://www.avrillavigne.com/

Songs like this are good for the mind i think, they help me, hope you read all this and go on the site and so on. If you want me to give you anymore tips e-mail me! you can get through this be strong!

Answer 102

i kind of know how you feel. i hate myself lso, unfortuantely. my therapist says i discount the positive. it's really immature of me too. i have social anxiety. it doesn't matter how good my day is, once something happen, say i run out of things to say when talking to someon, i feel like a total loser. i am so afraid of rejection that i dont have many friends. just some old ones. its all the little things about myself. but seriously i feel bad that those people said you were lying and you are to blame for your problems. i actually just said this to someone else. they are just rationalizing. they do not want to believe that bad things happen to people for no reason because theyare araid that it will happen to them. also i suggest you see your therapist every week. i am going tomorrrow and i love therapy. also your mom is a jerk sorry. you need to find some support somewhere join something if you arent too anxious. and know that at least the people on this site support you. keep talking on this site also. my therapist actually suggestedi do it.

Answer 103

I felt like you five years ago. The fact you have put this question on means that you want to change so belive me YOU WILL.



You need to draw a line under all the negative thinking you are doing so here is what I did. Don't just dish it but give things a go and see if slowly you feel a bit better.



Volunteer - just an hour a week - to help out for a cause which you would enjoy. I did at a riding stable which gave kids with disabilities a chance to ride. I also spend an hour a week walking dogs at a local centre for lost dogs. It made me realise that I really had very little to complain about and also that just giving one hour really made a difference to these kids. I began to feel ashamed at all the time I had spent thinking and complaining about myself. There will be places like that near you for sure. Just give it a go.

Answer 104

i know a little about how you feel there are days when i feel worthless and that i would be better off dead,i know that you feel that there is no reason for you to get out of bed each morning,but please believe me that you were put on this earth for some reason. i find it helps me to go to my local church, some days i go and site in a corner of the church and have a good cry i always ask god if he wants me dead and although he never answers me there is a part of me that will find some reason to get through today, just focus on one day at a time and soon you will get a better outlook on life, i wish you all the best for the future, Please keep in touch with us we are all friends here.

Answer 105

You must have something that you love, like a tv show or book. If you feel like killing yourself think of those things that you love and think how horrible it would be to never see those things again.

You could ask your counsellor to increase the frequency of your sessions.

Don't give up, honey!

To the person who said the asker is attention-seeking, don't be so stupid! They are just in need of help.

Answer 106

I know that you can get through this! Just believe in yourself and never let go of the things that you believe in! I you want happiness in a world that puts you down and makes you feel like s***, you need to look beyond the people for help. You need to look inside yourself and find out who you really are and what you stand for and believe. I truly wish good luck to you, and if you want to talk my email is [e-mail]. I hope that i helped

Answer 107

adolescence is a hard phase to go thru, I'm a teen myself and i know how you feel and wat you mean. My sis was having eating disorders and was self - mutilating herself. Once she understood that you shouldnt care wat people thought of you she stopped trying to hurt herself. Your mom is really wrong to treat you like this you should talk to her tell her how you feel. she must be feeling as down as you are maybe coz she loves you so much and wouldnt bear to lose you. My mom acted like that too smetimes but she cried every night over my sis. remember everyone is beautiful in his/ her own way and I'm sure that you are a beautiful person. just continue seeing your doctor and try to cooperate more dnt try to rebel coz the doctor is not trying to hurt you even though you feel like that. listen to the doctor and everything will be fine. make your mother proud, combat that eating disorder and live your life coz its a beautiful world out there. Good luck darling.

Answer 108

don't go as far as to comitting suicide. it's not the answer. you have to find the inner strength within you. eat properly, 3 times a day. and why do you think you need to be punished?! you probably haven't even done anything wrong. just try to be confident and live life to the full.

Answer 109

Go and see a different doctor, confide in another member of your family who may be a little more understanding than your Mum.



Start liking yourself, you have everything to live for, you just need to believe it.



Please see someone soon, there are other people out there who can help you. What have you done so wrong that you feel you deserve to be punished?



Good luck, I hope things work out for you x

Answer 110

you are a beautiful person you just need help to realise this

go and see a different doctor we all have a purpose in this world you can make a difference to your life and someone Else's but first you need to sort out yourself and get proper professional help don't ever give up you are as important as every one else there is no one better than you we are all equal

Answer 111

:( Sounds like you are in a pretty bad situation. You know I've been there too - if I was the last person on earth I couldn't have been more alone - sounds like you are feeling the same way? I'm sorry I don't really have an answer for you cos I'm 23, safe and making a go of my life as much as I can, but I still hate myself. But I can tell you what I do know helped me. It really really sucs that there are far too few people who care about young people who feel like you do - wether it's because of depression, abuse, or anything else, some people just seem to think that we are a waste of space! I know it's really hard, but try not to get too angry with them for letting you down - what's important is getting good help, or helping yourself. Try not to be too hard on yourself - I don't mean about the big stuff - the reasons why you feel like this - I'm not going to tell you that you shouldn't hate yourself, not cos you should but because that would be v hipocritical of me. What I mean is the small every day stuff - take really small steps - go down to the shops tomorrow and treat yourself to something you'd like - a magazine or something like that, or do something that you enjoy even if it's just for 10 minutes - remind yourself that you did a good job doing that cos if you're anything like me it is extremely hard to let yourself feel happy! Think about what you really really want - is there somewhere you'd be happier living? Maybe if you can think of the future there's a job you want to do? Try to find out about how to get there. Doing voluntary work has helped me more than anything to get my confidence up, get out, meet new people, do stuff I never imagined before and to stop me thinkin bout the bad stuff for a while too. I couldn't think of a future for a long time, but knew I was always interested in plants - now I'm going to go to the himalayas in the summer to study them! That's something way beyond my craziest dreams, and nothing big got me there, just lots of little tiny baby steps. There are lots of charities that can help you too. The first place you should look is childline (if you're 18 or under) - they can talk stuff through with you but they can also put you in touch with heaps of organisations that can help you. They are really nice there - I used to be mute but I wrote to a councillor there for a while and she was really nice - she was really the one person who didn't ever let me down. Some other places that helped me a lot were fairbridge, bernardos and venture scotland, though obiously it would depend where you live. I think that meeting other people like you can also help a lot.



I get the feeling I'm spraffing a lot and I hope I'm not making you feel worse instead of better so I'm just going to shut up now, but please remember that honestly honestly your childhood is not "the best years of your life" (I used to be terrified thinking it gets worse?!?) - and honestly it takes a long time but stuff honestly does get better when you're older and you can do what you want. I'm thinking of you xxx

Answer 112

My mate was exactly like you are now, but she got through it by going to see a councellor regulary and she was put on tablets! it really helped her alot and she is now the happiest woman alive! so dont do anything suicidal because you are going to get better, it just takes time! You do deserve so much more than you think, you shouldnt hate yourself, thats just gonna make you alot worse! i hope you get better soon!

Answer 113

*** God put YOU on this earth for a reason!*** If u are fat then so what, i am also fat.. you must just learn not to worry about it. dont care about the bad things people say to u. I learnt in life that it is your own choice to enjoy ur life or not to. just look how many people have replied to you on the net, i wish i was as popular as you! No one has even written anything to me... Remember it is ur choice to ENJOY ur life, no one else can make that dicision for u. So SMILE becoz YOU r worth it!

Answer 114

get up every morning and say ooh I feel good I feel good it does work really keep doing that every morning you must start feeling better about yourself no one should feel bad about themselves all the time, my husband was given tablets that made him feel bad every morning before he got out of bed he started moaning. I STARTED THIS I FEEL GOOD thing and he soon started smiling and the moaning stopped everyone deserves their own points of view babe you seem to be getting a bad deal do not worry you will be feeling better soon start eating healthy meals, get over this disorder that is what drags you down ,please try babe, soon good food will help heal your wounds try helping others that will help get your self esteem back .try try try that is all you can do good luck with a new and happy life

Answer 115

i know you may find this hard to hear but it is time to take responsibility for your feelings and behaviour. friends, family and professionals can only do so much.

I'm not surprised your friend found it difficult to support you what was she gaining from the relationship? were you giving her any support in return? it doesn't sound like it.

you do sound young so your feeling will change as you get older if you will let them. it is time to develop new coping skills that will serve you into adulthood rather than harming yourself.

it sounds like you may have borderline personality disorder and the best way to deal with this is counselling which i know you are attending. stick with this, i know it can be hard when someone is off sick or on holiday etc but this is a fact of life. people who are trying to help you have their own lives and problems too. try to remember that.

good luck.

Answer 116

Okay well to be honest im really sorry this is happening to you.. But I mean, Its only going to help if you let them.. And i think if you start to believe in yourself.. You can ignore what they say. And in my opinion i just think they're saying its just a phase because usually teenagers get them, which i don't think its right to just say that.. I really hope you feel better

Answer 117

I just want you to know that I will be praying for you. I don't know whether you believe in God or not, so even if not, be assured someone is thinking positive thoughts about you and for you.

I really hope that you start to feel better. I can empathise with many of your feelings and pray that you will recover

x

Answer 118

if you want to talk to me about it let me know. i used to be a cutter and went through what your going through.



the majority of people don't understand and are ignorant because they just don't understand.



this is a very personal issue and you have to work it out for your self. i offer my help if you want it [e-mail]



if you just want to talk let me know. letting a stranger know is better then someone you know.just talking about it and expressing your true feelings helps. anyone who attacks you or is aggressive in there manner is no use to you.



its very hard to get out of this feeling, even when you do, its easy to slip back inside.



rare is help with people like doctors and religious people. they just alienate you, in my experience anyway.



i understand the suicidal and self harm, he need to escape and hide. im sure you have the void feeling, emptiness. its horrible. you feel like you want to explode.



i know your pain, in some way atleast. give me a shout if you want.

Answer 119

hope this helps you, my daughter has the same problems she's 23 this year even my X partner now whom ive just kicked out, used to have ago at her about her weight and call her names and say its all her fault for loosing her babies all cause she's over weight, ive always told her she hasn't a problem, its people out in this world that have a problem, she has a heart like yourself and full of beauty, keep your head up high as you can stand taller then all the others.

Answer 120

You poor thing!!!

Everyone has replied to you with words that will try to make you feel better, so I won't do the same.

I want to send you something, here it comes, are you ready for it????????????

I big, warm, friendly cuddle.

I wish I could do it for real as it breaks my heart to read what you have written.

Try to think of something ever day that makes you smile, a puppy dog or a childhood memory or something you would love to do in the near future.

Take care of yourself sweetheart, things will get better xx

Answer 121

I wish I could help you, I really do. All I can say is that talking to people, even here online could help, or push you in the right direction. You can add me to you Yahoo messenger if you want to chat whenever. I'ma good listener and a good chatter too. If you ever want to talk.... [e-mail]

Answer 122

Please, please, please go see a PROPER psychotherapist.

The very fact that you are sharing this hurt with us means that you dont really hate yourself. If you did you would not be looking to improve. You hate the way you feel. That is true. But that is not the real you. There is a beautiful person in you just screaming to get out. Dont ever lose sight of that. Hold onto that thought. Help her find her way home. She needs you to be strong.

Love you

Answer 123

listen i myself suffer from depression. I have been on many different medications and i promise you things are going to get better. some people just dont understand that there are different levels of depression. I am now older and have children- two of them and im about to get married and if you had asked me if my life was going to be like this 3 years ago i would not have believed you but listen to me sweetheart, things do get better and god you will love life. i promise you that you will be happy oneday!

Answer 124

Findout first that why are you hating your self? Human being are with their own type of life style. So firstly develop your confidence, contol yourself, find out helpful friends and stuggle. Plz don't worry. Storms come and go. Keep patience. AND YOU WILL OVER COME.

Answer 125

Sending u a big hug. I think you may need it. I know how you feel. I have an ED, often feel like hurting myself and am not a great fan of myself....but I know things can and do get better. If you want to talk to someone who understands and who will be here for you please email me.

Answer 126

hi dear

i suffer half the systems you have spoken about

i can feel for you

i have tried hurting myself and i realise stuff done is not to hurt or bring shame to loved ones...its just something to make our attention go to other small things which helps us to forget our bigger stressful thoughts for a short time

i dont if this might help....it will purely depend on you....but trust me if you try doing it putting your (wandering) heart and soul to it it would help you to calm down.....take up some extra curricular activities like singing dancing or drama etc or sports....take up something that you had really loved doing in the past as a kid but due to academics wasnt able to continue....take up a hobby learn through professional trainer (though no stress of exams and all just for the love of it).

and dont worry about your mum and family...i'm no1 to comment but i know that if i were in front of you, you would have said that you no longer care the way used to....finding hope is not always easy...pamper yourself, even if you dont think you are worth it still pamper yourself....go for spas if you enjoy it(not smthng i like but just struck me sm ppl really like it)

okay all the best dear hope you read wat i wrote....take care...and remember...crying is not always a bad thing many a times it makes us even stronger

Answer 127

Why not help out in a local spastic hospice.



You'll see all the residents who are TRAPPED in body's they can not control, who are intelligent & happy, then hopefuly you'll KICK yourself out of your wallowing self pity & be thankful your like you are.



get out into the country side, it's spring...! anjoy life to the full, live in wonder

Answer 128

Wish I could give you a big hug little one........Don't worry everything will be alright......honestly.



I am not qualified to give you advice but I can chat to you. You did right to come on here and I must say it also took some nerve to do so as I am sure you knew that you would get the odd scarey answer....I am so glad to see that there are lots of lovely people on here who are sending you good thoughts.



About your mum.....Maybe she is scared too....she might not know what to do to help you feel better and although it seems wrong she may have talked about you with others in the family to see if someone else had something helpful to say. And I'm sure your friend is kicking herself for letting you down.



Look pet, everyone feels awful at times and I know it isn't helpful to tell you that things will get better when you feel as though you are in a black hole with no light at the end of the tunnel, but believe me things DO get better. I don't know how you feel about religion but I believe in Angels...now no sniggering young lady...I found that my Angel helps me whenever I ask for help, honestly. Just try it a few times and see...can't hurt can it. Another thing I find helpful is remembering what my mum used to say when I had worries. She would say "Everything passes" and she was right. remember the last time you felt down and thought there was no hope of ever feeling any better........It did pass didn't it....and eventhough you are feeling less than happy with your lot now, you know it will pass. That eating disorder....just get shut of it...you are the boss here and I know you can do it. If you look like your avatar you are beautiful and if you don't then I know you are as beautiful inside..so let it shine. Look, I am supposed to be careful of my diet because I have a silly problem with my heart, and would you believe it, the very things I am supposed to stay away from are the very things that call me. Sometimes I slip but I start all over again. I wish I was stronger but none of us are perfect. For instance, I just love Stephen Fry and would have thought that he was happy now and had no worries...but nooo. I watched him in a snatch of an interview the other night and he had a very poor opinion of himself. Now I cannot remember his exact words but the jist of it was that sometimes when he looked in the mirror he only saw a great lump of lard....something along those lines. Now if Stephen can feel like that at times then so can anyone else . It is the new programme that Billy Connolly's wife is doing. It has some smart title that I don't recall but she will be interviewing Sarah The Duchess of Kent, Sharon Ozburn and Stephen Fry, among others. Keep an eye out for it and you will see there are lots of people with all sorts of things on their mind. Will make you feel lucky to be who you are.



Try not to think of yourself too much love...know its easy to say but try. I used to blush for no reason at all and it spoiled my teens no end. I finally turned it around when I heard something on the radio about people who thought everyone was looking at them and watching everything that they did were really selfish. That shook me I can tell you. After that I couldn't have cared less what they thought about what I was wearing or how I looked and it worked. I still blushed but in a ladylike way when I was embarrassed and was often complimented on it by the gentlemen....I know I have prattled on, but as I said, I am not qualified to talk about depression but I think if you look around you you will see things aren't really too bad...And remember Everything Passes and try talking to your Angel. I will be thinking of you....And wishing you well whenever I think of you....You are not alone hahaha. God Bless x.



Forgot to tell you that you might find it helpful to take some Evening Primrose Oil capsules and some B Complex (that is only vitamin B) I have always taken them along with a VitaminE capsule. A big plus side effect for me was that I look years younger than I am. x

Answer 129

first of I'm sorry you feel this way, but don't let life or people get you down. life's hard in fact " life's a *****" but i bet you have a lot to give. life is full of obstacles trying to knock you down but stand tall because you ARE much better than that, then you will get through this a feel much better and stronger for this. hope this helps you on your way.

Answer 130

I'm not sure there's anything anyone can do - I've known the feeling, and despite anything that anyone said, or anything that I told myself, it was one morning during a break at college that I felt something snap inside my mind and found that I suddenly BELIEVED that I deserve to be happy. I hope the same sort of epiphany happens for you.

Answer 131

Hey, you have a lot of problems but hurting yourself won`t make them go away.

You need someone who will listen to you without judging. Phone either the Samaritans or Childline and they will listen and put you in touch with agencies to help you.

Go back to your mum and calmly explain your feelings.

Answer 132

I have been to my doctor..lets just say they are all less than helpful..infact i was told i would grow out of my eating disorder, it was just a phase.. was then sent to a phychiatric nurse for being suicidal and she told me that all "stupid teenagers" thought suicide was a way out.. oh and also accused me of lying and said that i was "throwing everything back in her face"...just because i wasn't agreeing to the statements she was making about me! Oh and someone i confided in for months and who supported me completely dumped me as a friend, my mum said i was a s

Answer 133

LETS FIRST FORGET WHAT FRIENDS AND FAMILY THINK ABOUT YOU

YOUR MOTHER OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD BE SUPPORTING YOU NOT RUN YOU DOWN

DONT WORRY WHAT THEY SAY OKAY

YOU HAVE A FRIEND IN ME FOR A STARTERS

BOTH MY GIRLS ARE BIG AND THEY DONT TALE NOTICE OF ANYONE

WHAT PEOPLE SAY IS WHAT THEY ARE

MY MUM WAS FAT MY GRANNY ETC

HEREDITY

I DONT KNOW HOW OLD YOU ARE

FORGET THE DOCS AND PSHYCHO'S THEY WILL END UP PUTTING YOU AWAY IN A MADHOUSE IF YOU KEEP UP

ONLY YOU AND YOU ALONE CAN FIX THE WAY YOU FEEL

MY EMAIL IS

[e-mail]

LETS START BY EMAILING EACH OTHER AND GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER

I AM A MOTHER AND FROM WHAT YOU TELL ME IF YOUR OLD ENOUGH TO GET AWAY FROM THEM GET AWAY THEY ARE ONLY MAKING IT WORSE FOR YOU

LIFES TOO PRECIOUS TO EVEN ATTEMPT TO DO HARM TO YOURSELF

HEAD HIGH MISS

MAKE YOURSELF BETTER THAN THEM

SHOW THEM BY CHANGING YOUR ATTEMPTS TO LIFE

YOU DIDNT MENTION YOUR FATHER-WHERE IS HE

CONFIDE IN NO-ONE TODAY YOU CANT TRUST ANYONE

I NOTICED IN THE PAST YES WHEN YOU TELL PEOPLE THEY LOOK DOWN ON US

YOUR NOT ALONE

AS FOR LYING -TAKES A LIAR TO KNOW A LIAR!

WATCH YOUR DIET FROM NOW ON

HAVE YOUR BREAKY CEREAL GLASS OF ORANGE JUICE AND ALWAYS GO OUT FOR A WALK AFTER EACH MEAL

THE STOMACH OPENS AND WANTS MORE FOOD IF YOU KEEP EATING AND THATS THE REASON ONE PUTS ON WEIGHT

HAVE SALADS FOR LUNCH-NOTHING FRIED FOR EVENING MEALS LOTS OF GREENS AND LESS MEAT-YOU WILL SOON FEEL BETTER-EAT FRUIT ALSO TO REPLACE THE EVENING MEAL IF YOUR USED TO EATING MORE THAN YOU SHOULD

I'LL EXPECT TO HEAR FROM YOU- SO CHIN UP AND SMILE -YOUR BETTER THAN THOSE THAT DONT LISTEN OR THINK THEY KNOW HOW YOU FEEL

I WANT TO TELL MY GIRLS THEY ARE OVERWEIGHT BUT I DONT-I DONT WANT TO UPSET THEM AND HAVE THAT PLAYING ON THEIR MIND WHEN THERE'S BETTER THINGS TO THINK ABOUT

TAKE CARE

Answer 134

get a self help book like creating self confidence and just tell yourself i am a wonderful woman infront of your mirror repeat this until u love urself and get a hobby a fun one that will give u confidence

good luck

take care

x

Answer 135

I'm sorry you have to feel this way and that you feel now one is helping you, i wish i could help you as i had a sister who felt somewhat the same , please try and get another doctor to help you or try the Samaritans if you are in the UK, remember doing something stupid will not help, i hope you get through this good luck.

Answer 136

Dear i hate myself too, but because i'm a crying girl, i'm very intelligent but i don't know why i feel like ****.



you should come with a doctor.



your family should know about this. thalk with all the people around you.



good luck, be happy, no matter what anyone can say about you, you sould be a nice person, just take care and dont you like to come to mexico? haha because i have to come to England and right now.



Just feel better girl!

Answer 137

I really like your efforts in explaining and still trying to communicate with others. I truely believe you're on your way , since you keep analyzing and you can show some rebellion against bad environment and wrong help. Please, keep trying. I read all sorts of reactions here and it shows that some people really WANT to help you. You'll make it. You'll go through.

Answer 138

Want to eat some delicious Paleo recipes as soon as tonight? Go here to get your awesome Paleo cookbook today https://tr.im/EjUxG

You're going to love the amazing Paleo meal ideas in there

Answer 139

I Dont realy no what to write to help all your problems go away but if u do want to talk to someone dat will listen not judge and wouldnt say its phase then chat whenever im always on [e-mail] just so we can chat.

Answer 140

hey,,

listen,,,wenever u feel low ,,,look at ppl below u,,, suffering due to starvation,water, money,security problems,,, today you are in a much better situation and nothing is lost,,,yesss u need to overcome your eating disorder, which you can with a little bit of smart thinking and slowly but steadily improving your diet quality,,,these things don't happen overnight,,,be patient and positive ,that you will definitely succeed in your endeavour,,,

and above all remember, nobodys perfect!!

Answer 141

girl number one you are a human being and you should always feel good about your self ignore any fools. try to look into the mirror and say im beautiful and do things to make yourself happy and not for any body else.

Answer 142

EYA HUNNI,I HOPE SUM1 CAN GET U SORTED U RELLI CUD DO WITH GOIN 2 THE HOSPITAL N GET U CHECKED UP 2 C IF UR OK,N EVERYFING WOT GOES WRONG U SHUD TRY N FIX IT OR FINK OF THE REST OF THE POSITIVE FINGS IN LYF IT RELLI WORKS TRUST ME,JUS FINK HAPPY N Y DONT U RELAX IN THE BATH BECOZ IT WILL DRAIN ALL UR SORROWS AWAY I HOPE I HELPED X

Answer 143

Your depression is a cry for help. Don't let the devil overpower you with the desicion on dying. Let God help you and guide you through your life and everything will be fine. You're a delicate creature that God create. Don't let the devil take that away by killing your self. Go to church and ask God for his help and I'm sure he will help you through what ever problems you have. And also, you should start reading the bible and you can find answers that will amaze you and change your mind about life. Good luck and may God bless you.

Answer 144

Dont kill yourself. Your worth saving. Death is not an escape. ive been there myself(sucide) and I got through it and live is alot beter for me now. I know what it feels to have your friends turn on you when you need friends the most. those friends are beter to be your enemies than friends. Try meating new people. I use skype. spend some money on yourself. I dont know what to say just please dont kill yourself.

Answer 145

I know what your going through and i know its very hard and that it will never end. IT will end! eventually. I do have scars from my past, but they did only make me a stronger person.

I also got a pet fish! And it made me happy. Just to see how carefree it was made me want to be like it.

Answer 146

Please do not hate yourself. We all go through rough patches in our life. Please find someone to talk to (someone who is not judgemental and will not turn on you) Have you tried contacting the Samaritans? I believe that they should be able to help you.

Don't give up

We all have negative views about ourselves. None of us are perfect- we just have to find a way to get through the seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks and then months and years

Answer 147

omg you've been through soo much! you don't desrve to be punished for anything, your doctors and that are retards, i think they've forgotten what it's like to be young! i use to think i was fat and ugly and use to get depressed and it took until i got a boyfriend to get over it. i really hope things work out for you!!

if you want to talk and have msn, [e-mail]

Answer 148

I advise going to a gym to improve your body, at first it will be hard, but it will be something to give you extra happy endorphins, you will notice your body looking better as time goes, will be an opportunity to meet new friends that exercise there.

Answer 149

PLEASE PLEASE TRY AND SEE THE POSITIVE SIDE TO LIFE. MAYBE THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU ARE TOO NEGATIVE AND SEEM LESS THAN UNDERSTANDING. GO OUT THERE AND FIND SOMETHING WORTHWHILE TO DO, SOMETHING POSITIVE. EVERYONE HAS GOOD POINTS AND WE CANNOT ALL BE HAPPY ALL THE TIME OR WE WOULD NOT APPRECIATE IT.

BEING A TEENAGE IS A VERY DIFFICULT TIME AND A LOT OF YOUR THINKING IS TO DO WITH YOU HORMONES AND NOT YOUR ACTUAL PERSONALITY.

I WISH YOU WELL IN FINDING MAY PATCHES OF HAPPINESS IN YOUR LIFE.

Answer 150

hi,



i know what you are going through. I'm going through tough things with my family right now and i'm bulimic too

i just got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and i weight 92 pounds only



plz talk to your doctor and pray to god too



there is hope 4r u

Answer 151

Hi babs. Occupy your mind, read call a friend sit on the internet a talk to lots of people, watch tv, dvds, I suffer from mild depression that ain being treated but i know what its like. you have to try to occupy your mind.



If you feel you need to check your self into a & e. Let em sort you out.



Absolutley no one deserves to die. everyone is hear for a reason ok. You can email me if you want and then ill email you my personal email addresss.

Answer 152

Little one,

Decode this lyrics "Everything is beautiful "

Listen to "Mr. Tambourine man" with "The power of love" -

"Sing" - "The song of Freedom".

Listen who is communicating with you out there.

Pay attenetion ot the lyrics.

The message is in the songs for you.

Try and go to the nearest library in your neighbourhood.

Go and deposit and update your data bank.

That will help you solve your misery in planet of apes.

May even come across Merlin's magic wand.

See what attracts you to those books.

Take a peek and borrow it and bring it home and have a good time with it.

Will help you solve your misery out there in planet of apes.

While with those books.

Listen to all those love song passes-by your daily lives.

Can create wonders for you.

When you pay attention to the "Words" out there in planet of apes.

Don't give up hope on living.

Life is worth living for.

Only in seeking what you have lost with time in planet of apes.

Give it a try and don't live in misery out there in planet of apes.

Answer 153

the people who care for and are there for you are important keep them close because they are the ones who truly care and love u

It doesn't mater what help you are receiving, if u r ready to accept help then it will help

If you aren't ready no one can help

Ive been in similar situation long ago

good luck be strong

Answer 154

We haven't got a right to hate ourselves because every one of us is a marvelous creation of the universe and we are here for a purpose. Try to find that purpose and see if that helps. One day you'll find someone who loves you and cherishes you for who you are.

Answer 155

Hurting yourself is not the way to go.

Just relax and get your closest friend and talk through everything with her

Answer 156

Hang on in there & don`t do anything rash you may surprise yourself in a couple of weeks time when this phase passes.

Answer 157

Is there no one you can trust to talk to?

there are youth centres,school councilor,confidential help lines to help you through this.

i hope you find someone



dont give up:)

Answer 158

wow u have had lots of answears my gal so we do care. 1st u need to rite down the root of y u feel like u do. then do a wish list of things to make u fel good and eat. i sugest see a dif canceler

Answer 159

Don't be so negative. there are people that are starving and poor that can't afford the food you buy. you should be grateful for having family and yourself.

Answer 160

I think there is alot of truth in that Glenn campball song, " you got to try a little kindness".

Answer 161

Dont like the way you look? Do something about it. I used to be fat, so I pulled my socks up and did something about it. If you feel you need to be punished, inflict some pain on yourself by working out and im not talking about some pansy **** 30 minutes on a treadmill. Im talking punishing excercise, pushing yourself until you vomit. Worked a treat for me.

Answer 162

firstly...your mother needs a kick up the backside for not listening & trying to help you through your troubles..she should realise that your child is your most precious thing in the world! - do you have a favourite auntie or somebody you can confide in?



teenage years are hard..and we all go through that 'hell' with low self esteem & hormones raging...but it does pass..i promise.



in england we have a group called the Samaritans...and you can ring them anytime..about anything - why dont you try them? its true what someone said...people on yahoo arent really able to help you...except to say - one day...you will look back at this dark time...and wonder what it was all about. i wish you well honey...truly..life will get better for you - try not to be so sad.

Answer 163

things can always be worse darlin i no thats not much of a consolation to you but believe or not they could if you want to talk e mail me darlin but try not to feel bad about yourself darlin i look forward to hearing from you if you want

Answer 164

Don't be silly. where about are you residing? If you are in London then I can meet you up and we can talk about it. You are too young to die and ignore all those who are harassing or bullying you. Find new friends and sort out your life.



Hope this helps.

Answer 165

aw you need some nice friends, talk 2 me anytime if you like

Answer 166

Kill yourself because its not worth the pain. I would do it but I love my life :) Good luck

Answer 167

you need to realise that you have one life to live b and its entirely up to you if you want to spend it feeling sorry for yourself or accepting who you are n being all you can be.you need to take a step back n think bout people who are going through suffering you can never imagine and ther not wallowing in self pity.im not saying ur problems arent as biig all im saying is dont take life for granted.there is so much for you to do, to achieve n to be n every minute spent wallowing in self pity, is aminute off ur life.you know wat i say,smile n say you know wat ill never understand life,but im alive n im gona make the most of it!!!!!love yourself babe cos aint noone in this whole world like you,not a one!

Answer 168

You can never change the way u are but u could work things out better

Answer 169

i felt like that once for a little while but one day i woke up and was happy with me

you ll have that day

Answer 170

But I bet your not fat, ugly or awful...just needing help finding the right road.

Answer 171

Go back to your doctor

Answer 172

try this site below



http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/faq/self_help.htm



i really hope you get through this tough time..good luck.god bless and take good care of yourselff

Answer 173

ooooooo...... i think u have a physicological problems.

u must find a friend that u believe, trust and to talk to before it getting worst....







gOOd LuCk!!!

Answer 174

You are not Fat, look in the mirror and tell yourself

I AM PLESANTLY PLUMP, repeat this and don''t look back lol.

Answer 175

try nd put some make-up on nd look i da mirror nd say i don't hate myself nd i look pretty xx

Answer 176

Try checking out this website and see what God thinks of you. http://www.fathersloveletter.com/flltextenglish.html

God bless

Answer 177

i dont hate you............remember a lot of people have things worse, look at tthe up side and concentrate on the good times.........

Answer 178

Why hate yourself, there are loads of people out there that will do that for you.

Answer 179

Sleep with me before you doing anything rash.



This might not solve your problems but it will certainly solve mine !!

Answer 180

STOP THINGING ABOUT YOURSELF. THINK OF WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO IN THE FUTURE. START PLANNING ON IT NOW. DONT WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY TO YOU. GET ON WITH IT PLEASE. GOOD LUCK. HAROLD XX

Answer 181

Please calm down... many people can help you... but you need to be a little bit stronger and fight for love yourself and realize your dreams....



Bye =)

Answer 182

I give longs answers, Not this time. You need to feel greatful... have you got ten finger and ten toes? If you have you also have two arms and two legs and the ability to count.



There are people I don't need to mention that have none of this! I am getting sick of hearing these words 'self harm' 'depression'! You should try living...



I want you to go out and find me two blades of grass the same!!!

Answer 183

I know how you feel.

Answer 184

you will grow out of it, and if you don't then your whole life is just going to be worse and worse...it's your choice.

Answer 185

Hang in there

Answer 186

I don't like you either, cos you're too pretty

Answer 187

Turn to jesus he is the only one that Cetisfies!!!!!!!!

Answer 188

YOU ARE IN NEED OF LOVE.IF SOMEONE LOVES YOU & YOU BELIEVED AND TRUSTED SUCH PERSON YOU WILL BE ENVIED FOR GOOD HEALTH & HAPPINESS .fIND THAT GUY!

Answer 189

you should read the bible , pray and go to church it can turn you live around! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SO SMILE JESUS LOVES YOU!

Answer 190

cheer up mate,lifes too short!

Answer 191

embrace your depression. alot of people do. they call it emo!

Answer 192

be strong and live....... life can be good.......from Liverpool, England

Answer 193

jesus loves u ...... just the way u are talk to him xx

Answer 194

..please take heart..despite your overwhelming problems there is a light in the end of the tunnel..



..just, "Enjoy Aja..."..

Answer 195

So do I.

Answer 196

J

Answer 197

go kill yourself

Answer 198

Make everyone happy, go hang yourself.

Answer 199

You need serious help if this is true. Go to a hospital! You'll find someone that can help you if you kep looking.

Answer 200

no , it not a solution hate our self .. smile to days ; days smile to you ..

Answer 201

You must be American,

Answer 202

Dont worry kiddo, you are not alone. I hate you too and I dont even know you.

Answer 203

Depression

Depression is very common and everyone feels fed up, sad, unhappy, miserable at times. Sometimes we know that there is a cause for our depression - maybe we have just broken up from a relationship, maybe someone we were close to has died, we may have failed exams, we may be ill - but other times there doesn't seem to be one cause - it may be a build up of problems, feeling unable to cope with life and we are not really sure why.



When depression is very severe some people can feel that life isn't worth living, they want to die. When depression doesn't go away it is important to ask for help. It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help but a sign of strength to recognise that you have these feelings and are unable to cope. Many people find at some stage in their life that it is hard to cope as well as they used to. You don't have to be strong all the time - recognise when you are finding it difficult to cope and need support.



People can get a variety of symptoms when they feel very depressed.



General feelings of unhappiness which don't go away.



Having no interest in life.



Finding it difficult to concentrate and make even easy decisions.



Having no feeling of enjoyment in life.



Not wanting to go out or mix with people but spending a lot of time on your own.



Feeling very tired and having no energy.



Finding it difficult to sleep and waking up frequently during the night.



Having no appetite and eating very little



Losing self confidence and feeling worthless.



Being very irritable, anxious, impatient.



Feeling very negative about life.



Having suicidal thoughts.



If you are depressed don't bottle it up - it is important you talk to someone - family, friend, teacher, youth leader, GP, organisation, helpline etc. - anyone you feel you can trust If you don't share how you are feeling you may find yourself using unhealthy coping strategies which will in the long run only add to your problems and make you feel worse - some people may start drinking alcohol more, may take drugs, may start self harming and cutting themselves, may stop eating or binge eating and making themselves sick.



You may find that counselling will help you as this will give you a safe space to talk to someone who is especially trained. This will help you to say how you really feel inside and the counsellor will work with you to help you find solutions and healthy coping strategies and to look at the reasons behind your depression. This will give you a better understanding of your feelings and some support in working through anything which is troubling you. If you find that counselling doesn't work for you then it would be an idea to see your GP and discuss with him other ways of helping you with your depression.



Talking to others and counselling and therapy can help but to pull yourself out of a depression you need to do a lot of work yourself. When you are depressed you may feel you have no control over your life but you do still have choices. You can choose to stay depressed and not eat properly, not exercise, stay in bed all day, etc. or you can choose to try and help yourself to get out of the depression . If you take care of yourself physically it will help you to feel stronger emotionally and to cope more easily with life. Just as a car needs petrol to work properly so does your body need nutrients from food so although you may not feel like eating please try and eat healthily and drink plenty of water.



Sometimes when we are depressed life can seem very negative and black - it can be easy to forget that there are beautiful things in the world surrounding us. Try and get out each day into an open space, park, forest, lake etc. and just take in the beauty of your surroundings, and try and be at one with nature. This can help keep things in perspective and lift your mood.



Set yourself small goals - maybe each day try and write down something you want to do the following day and try and follow this through. The more active you are the less time you will have to focus on your depression. Try and interact with other people when you can as if you totally isolate yourself and cut yourself off from the outside world you could find your depression gets more severe.



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What Can I do To Help Myself

Don't bottle things up - find someone to talk to about how you are feeling.

Make sure you get plenty of exercise and plenty of fresh air. You will find that even if you do a quick walk every day and a short period of other exercise each day you will start to feel physically and emotionally stronger and more able to cope.

Make sure you eat a healthy balanced diet - eat little and often and don't skip meals. If you are not eating properly you will feel more depressed and listless.

Try and keep busy - to keep your mind occupied.

Do things you enjoy to relax, treat yourself and take care of yourself.

Try and get to bed at a regular time. If you find it difficult to sleep listen to the radio/TV/read and you may find you drop off to sleep more easily.

Don't resort to unhealthy ways of dealing with your problems like drinking, taking drugs, cutting, eating disorders.

Ask for help when you need it.

Try to stop thinking in a negative way - when you think a negative thought try and replace it with a positive one.

If you need a hug ask someone you trust - this can make you feel that someone really does care how you are feeling.

Remember depression is very common - you will not always feel like this - you will come out of it and be able to enjoy life.



If your depression is severe and you are having thoughts about harming yourself or ending your life it is important you talk to someone immediately about how you are feeling. If you are a child or young person speak to your parents about how you are feeling. They would want to know how you feel and to support you and look at ways of helping. Talk to your GP and make him aware of what is going on for you. It is very difficult to deal with severe depression on your own - you need help and support and in some cases your GP may advise medication.



ENDING YOUR LIFE AND HARMING YOURSELF IS NEVER THE ANSWER. YOU HAVE YOUR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU AND WILL NOT ALWAYS FEEL LIKE THIS.



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Agencies which offer support and information

SupportLine Telephone Helpline: 020 8554 9004 (Helpline), email [e-mail] - Confidential emotional support to Children Young People and Adults. Also keeps details of agencies, support groups and counsellors throughout UK.



Association for Post Natal Illness: 020 7386 0868, www.apni.org, [e-mail] - To advise and support women suffering from post natal illness. Running a network of volunteers to support sufferers throughout the UK.



Aware Defeat Depression: 08451 202961, email [e-mail] - Support, information or a listening ear for all those affected by depressive illnesses.



Breathing Space: 0800 83 85 87 (Area served SCOTLAND), www.breathingspacescotland.co.uk - Helpline for young men 12-40 years who are experiencing difficulties and unhappiness in their lives and for their friends and family.



CALL Community Advice and Listening Line (Wales): 0800 132737, www.callhelpline.org.uk - Mental health helpline for Wales providing confidential listening support service.



Childline: 0800 1111, www.childline.org.uk.



Crossline Central: 0845 658 0045 (Area served SCOTLAND) - Christian based helpline and counselling service for the general public and people in crisis.



DABS Mail-Order Book Catalogue: 01709 860023 - Wide range of books including those on depression, self esteem assertiveness, self harm, child abuse.



Depression Alliance: 0845 123 2320, email [e-mail], www.depressionalliance.org - Confidential listening and support service. Also offer a range of information on depression and treatment options. National network of self help groups for people experiencing depression. National pen friend scheme offering support and fellowship to people with depression and their carers. Quarterly newsletter, booklets and leaflets on depression.



Depression Alliance Scotland: 0845 123 2320 (Area served SCOTLAND), email [e-mail], www.dascot.org - Telephone information and other support for people affected by depression. Information about symptoms and treatment, listening support and signposting to other agencies.



Depression Support Group Association ( London based): 020 7328 8391, www.depressionalternatives.co.uk - Helping people whose lives have been distorted by insecurity, loneliness, shyness, unsatisfactory relationships to find alternatives to depression. Groups in London convened by professional counsellors/psychotherapists. Meet in a friendly, sociable environment and offer members route to a more fulfilling life, develop self esteem and confidence and learn how their emotional needs can be met more fully. Fee £15 per week, concessions students/unemployed. Also run Shyness & Social Anxiety Programme and Personal Relationships programme, Men's Group to strengthen men's sense of themselves. Also individual therapy.



Fellowship of Depressives Anonymous (FDA): 01702 433838, PO Box FDA, Self Help Nottingham, Ormiston House, 32-36 Pelham Street, Nottingham NG1 2EG UK wide self help organisation made up of individual members and groups which meet locally on a regular basis for mutual support. £10 yearly membership (reductions for those who cannot afford that amount).



Get Connected: 0808 800 4994, email [e-mail], www.getconnected.org.uk - Free telephone and email helpline finding young people the best help whatever the problem. Can connect a child or young person to any UK helpline where appropriate.



Hope in Crisis Telephone Line: 028 9446 9990 (Area served NORTHERN IRELAND) - Christian based organisation offering listening support and ministry for anyone in crisis.



The London Shyness Clinic: 020 7289 4317, www.shyness.co.uk - Therapy and counselling to overcome shyness and gain confidence.



Manic Depression Fellowship: 0845 634 0540, email [e-mail], www.mdf.org.uk - Advice and information for people with manic depression and their families, carers and mental health professionals. Supply a range of information leaflets, books and tapes. Network of self help groups for people with manic depression, relatives and friends. Self management training programme.



The Maytree: 020 7263 7070 - Sanctuary for the suicidal offering befriending and support (based in N.London).



The Mental Health Foundation: 020 7803 1100, email [e-mail], www.mhf.org.uk - Publish a booklet 'Understanding Depression'.



Meet A Mum Association: (MAMA) 0845 120 6162, www.mama.org.uk, email [e-mail] - To support mothers and mothers to be by putting them in touch with other mothers living nearby. Also provide one to one support and social activities.



Mind (National Association for Mental Health): 0845 766 0163, email [e-mail], www.mind.org.uk - Publish booklets relating to Depression.



Muslim Youth Helpline: 0808 808 2008, email [e-mail], www.myh.org.uk (Area served London). Helpline providing culturally sensitive support to Muslim youth under the age of 25. Outreach services including family mediation, face to face counselling and befriending.



National Youth Advocacy Service: 0800 616101, email [e-mail], www.nyas.net - Provides information, advice, advocacy and legal representation to young people up to the age of 25 through a network of advocates throughout England and Wales.



Premier Lifeline: 0845 345 0707, email [e-mail], www.premier.org.uk/lifeline - Christian run helpline offering information and a listening ear to the general public on a range of emotional and spiritual issues.



SAD Association: 01903 814 942, www.sada.org.uk - To inform the public about seasonal affective disorder. To support and advise sufferers of the illness. Limited light box hire scheme. Supply contacts list for members.



Samaritans:0845 790 90 90, email [e-mail], www.samaritans.org.



Self Help Services: (Manchester area) 0161 226 5412, email [e-mail], www.selfhelpservices.org.uk - Run over thirty support groups for people with mental health problems or are in need of emotional support, including groups relating to depression.



Stress Anxiety Depression - Confidential Helpline: 01622 717656 - Advice, information on self help strategies, relaxation, exercise, nutrition, cognitive therapy etc.



Voice for the Child In Care: 0808 800 5792, email [e-mail], www.vcc-uk.org - Telephone advice, information and advocacy services for children in care. Helpline for care leavers - 0808 100 3224. Visiting advocacy service for children in secure units and other residential homes.



Who Cares? Linkline: 0500 564 570, email [e-mail], www.thewhocarestrust.org.uk - Helpline offering information and support for young people who are or have been in care.



Self injury / Self harm

A large proportion of calls and emails we receive at SupportLine are from people who self harm, the majority of whom are young people. Many of these have suffered abuse - emotional, physical and/or sexual. These callers present as having little or no self esteem, no value, no sense of worth and see themselves in a totally negative light - often reflecting that they are 'useless', 'worthless', 'a nothing'. On talking to these callers it comes across loud and clear the person they really are inside - compassionate, caring, sensitive, talented, a good listener, has a good sense of humour, is always there for others etc. It is so sad that the person cannot see that for themselves - cannot see themselves as others can see them.



Many self harmers find it difficult to verbalise how they feel, and may have blocked off or detached from their feelings of pain, hurt, anger, etc. Self harm can be used as a way of feeling something physically which they are unable to feel emotionally. It is not uncommon for a person who self harms to say they are not angry yet in reality there is often an enormous amount of anger inside which they are turning inwards on themselves.



Self harming is a way of coping - for someone to stop self harming they need to have help with finding other ways of coping, and ways of getting in touch with their feelings in a supportive environment. Anyone who self harms may need help with building up their confidence, their self esteem, their sense of worth so they can begin to see themselves in a realistic and positive light. When a person truly values themselves it is not so easy to harm and abuse yourself - when a person values themselves it is easier to start to take care of yourself, to start to see yourself in a positive light, to start to like yourself.



If you are self harming at the moment I know nobody can just tell you to stop doing it until you can find other ways of coping, and other ways of letting out your feelings and begin to value yourself. Please take time to read the following information which can give alternatives to self harm and advice in relation to keeping yourself as safe as you can. If you have been abused please take time out to read through the abuse pages on this site. You can learn other ways of coping and can start to value yourself. You may need a lot of support and help around you so please ask for it. Please don't self harm in secret, locked away, isolated and alone. Nobody should ever judge you for self harming - at the moment you are doing what you need to do to cope, to survive in the world - but there are other ways.



There are also a number of websites listed here which provide information and support for people who self harm. Many sites which provide excellent support and information to sufferers can also bring up immense feelings of sadness. It may be best therefore to choose a time to access sites when you know you can call someone or be with someone for support afterwards - even if you just need a hug or to hear a friendly voice. When you feel sad - look after yourself, cuddle up with a blanket, hot drink, cuddly toy, pet, look at photos and pictures which help you to feel safe and bring a smile to your face, you may have a safe box with objects to hold which feel good, velvet, pebbles, shells, playdough etc., and remember to access help you need to ask for it and try all the resources you need to in order to get the help you need.



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What Is Self Injury?

'I think control's a big thing, when you can't control what's happening around you…you can't control pressure from outside, from society but you can to yourself.'



Self injury is something you do to damage your body as a way of managing expressing intensely difficult feelings, without intending to kill yourself. Some examples include cutting or burning yourself, bruising yourself, taking tablets, pulling at hair, or picking skin. It can go on for years without being fatal and it is more common than a lot of people think.



Self injury is used mainly to keep feelings under control, rather than to get a response from other people. Many people have difficult times in their lives and feelings can be hard to put into words. Sometimes the only way to manage the intensity of what you feel is maybe to hurt yourself. When hurting yourself becomes a way of managing these pressures it means there are other things wrong in your life that need sorting out. Self injury can become compulsive - a way of coping, because the underlying issues haven't been sorted out.



For a lot of people trying to stop self injury without having any other ways of coping with problems is not realistic. Without help, feelings can build up and you can end up doing more damage to yourself. It can be frightening becoming aware of how you feel, and why, but if you can do this you can begin to work out where you mean to go from here.



It might be helpful to identify parts of your life that may be causing you difficulties:



What was happening when you first began to feel like injuring yourself.

Are you always at a certain place or with a particular person?

Have you been having frightening memories or thoughts and not been able to tell anyone?

What would help you not hurt yourself?

Is there anything else that makes you want to hurt yourself?

It's important to think of ways that minimise hurting yourself more than you intended. Using drink or drugs when you feel like injuring yourself is particularly risky.



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When you feel like hurting yourself what other ways of managing could help fora short while?

Writing about how you are feeling.

Curling up with a blanket, hot drink, by breathing and relaxing.

Listening to music.

Tearing up telephone books, newspapers.

Punching pillows or cushions.

Going for a run, brisk walk, dancing, any form of exercise.

Talk to a friend - have a list nearby of people you can ring.

Keep your mind busy - to distract your mind from harming yourself.

Carry safe things in your pockets - stones, pebbles, crystals.

Get a red felt tip pen and mark yourself as if you were cutting - this may give you similar relief.

Try aromatherapy oils e.g. lavender oil and breath it in - this can help you to feel more balanced and calm.

Try elastic bands around your wrists and flick them when you feel like cutting. If you need to feel sensation when you self harm try holding ice, brushing yourself with a toothbrush

Take a cold shower

Bite into something which is strongly flavoured, lemon, peppers etc.

Use play dough to give you something to occupy your hands.

Have a relaxing bath, treat yourself.

Do deep and slow breathing.

How do you feel?

Upset… you can't keep your feelings in, or maybe you can't let them out.

Helpless… you don't know what to do for the best.

Guilty… because you can't stop harming yourself, even if you want to.

Scared… because you don't know why you do it…it's getting worse.

Ignoring how you feel… it's too frightening…you don't know what you feel or how to deal with it.

Depressed… about anything ever getting better.

Lonely… no-one seems to understand.

Trivialised… in case people think you're just attention seeking.

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Are you worried in case no-one will listen?

There are lots of reasons why you could be worried about telling someone:



You might not know why you do it.

Embarrassment or shame… people might see it as attempted suicide.

Guilty… for worrying people.

People being angry with you, because they think you didn't need to do it.

Being judged… being seen as attention seeking, suicidal or manipulative rather than doing what you can to cope.

They might tell someone else… who you don't trust.

You will be made to stop using this way of coping… before you are ready.

You might not know what your feelings are; they just feel like a big pressure.

What do you find difficult about telling someone?

How do you get help?

'You've got to want to be able to do it, have the support of as many people as possible and bring it out in the open and not hide it from people'.



We all need help and understanding from other people sometimes . It can be hard to recognise when you need to involve other people. Talking to someone might help you feel more able to cope. You might wish you could express feelings more safely, or want to find ways of keeping them under control.



Try and talk to someone you like and trust . This could be a parent, carer, friend, friends parent or carer, teacher, school nurse, youth worker, counsellor, social worker, doctor, relative, helpline.



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Who Can You Trust?

Write down the reasons why you should or shouldn't tell people. It can help you decide and be clear about what your worries are about telling someone.



Where and when would you tell them?

What would you say?

You could practise saying it out loud, or with a friend.

Picture how these people would respond if you told them.

Is there another way you can get the response you need?

Is there another approach you would feel more comfortable with?

Writing a letter to someone you trust may help you express what you want to say without worrying about the other person's immediate response.

Think of a plan to look after yourself if they respond in a way which isn't what you'd hoped for.



Remember the first person might not be able to help, so be prepared to try again. Unfortunately you may meet some people who respond in a way that makes you feel worse. Remember people who respond like this may be finding it hard to manage how they feel too - it's not your problem, so don't take it on. Perhaps you could try telling them they are not helping. If they don't listen, try and find someone else who will. It can take a lot of courage and determination to keep trying, but you will find the right person in the end.



If your health or safety is at serious risk the person you tell might want tocontact your parents or carer. You may need to speak to this person first about this and explain you want what you say to be confidential.



Self Injury and Suicide

'I don't cut myself to kill myself, but sometimes it can get like that'.



You might have mixed feelings about wanting someone else to help, or wanting to be left to try to control your life on your own. You might want to control when you hurt yourself but at the same time be scared in case your life is at risk.



If you know you could be in danger of killing yourself it might be an idea to write down a survival plan of what you can do to prevent this.



Who can you phone?

Is there someone you can tell?

If you can't ask for help yourself, is there someone who could do this for you?

When you feel like killing yourself it's hard to remember anything good, or that anyone has ever said anything nice about you.



When you are not feeling suicidal, write a list of what these good things are. Keep it with your survival plan.



You could also keep photos or other reminders of good times - feeling so bad will pass. These suggestions may help you through it.



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Agencies which can offer Support and Information

Bristol Crisis Service for Women: 0117 925 1119 Helpline - Fri & Sat 9pm-12.30am, Sun 6pm-9pm, email [e-mail], www.users.zetnet.co.uk/bcsw - Focus on self injury and provide information and publications.



British Red Cross Society: 0870 1707000, www.redcross.org.uk - Free training in camouflaging scars.



Childline: 0800 1111



DABS Mail Order Book Catalogue: 01709 860023 - Wide range of books relating to self harm, child abuse, self esteem, depression, etc.



National Self Harm Network: PO Box 7264 Nottingham NG1 6WJ - Survivor led organisation, aims to bridge the gulf in understanding and to campaign for the rights of those who live with self harm. Leaflets have been produced for those who self injure and health care professionals. Email [e-mail], www.nshn.co.uk.



Project Spear: 01793 520111, email [e-mail], www.projectspear.com - Provides information and support on self harm.



SASH (Survivors of Abuse and Self Harm): Send sae for enquiries - 20 Lackmore Road, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 4PB, email [e-mail] - Offer support, friendship and understanding. Allows those who self harm to communicate their feelings and thoughts on a one to one basis in writing. Free membership £5 annual fee for quarterly newsletter.



Self Harmers Support Group: 020 8591 6025 - Support and information to those who self harm. Support Group meets in Barking, Essex.



Self Help Services: (Manchester area) 0161 226 5412, www.selfhelpservices.org.uk, email [e-mail] - Run over thirty support groups for people with mental health problems or are in need of emotional support including groups relating to self harm.



SupportLine Telephone Helpline: Helpline: 020 8554 9004, email [e-mail] - Confidential emotional support for Children, Young People and Adults. Keeps details of agencies, support groups and counsellors throughout the UK.



ZEST (N.Ireland): 0287 126 6999 - Telephone counselling and other support services for individuals who self harm or attempt suicide.



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Useful websites

www.aest.org.uk - Site for survivors of abuse, also deal with self harm, self esteem etc



www.havoca.org - For survivors of abuse, also deal with self harm



www.justlikeme.org.uk – Self harm site for your people



www.mentalhealth.org.uk - Includes information on self harm



www.myfriend-myenemy.com



www.ncb.org.uk



www.nice.org.uk – National Institute for Clinical Excellence - national guidelines relating to treatment of self harm



www.palace.net/~llama/psych/self



www.recoveryourlife.com - A Suffolk based Self Harm community site offering support, companionship, information, advice, forum, message board



www.selfharm.org.uk



www.siari.co.uk



www.selfinjurysupport.co.uk



www.survive.co.uk - Information relating to self harm



www.why-me.org.uk - Young people's site



www.helplines.org.uk - Website of the Telephone Helplines Association giving information on helplines across the UK.



Useful book

The Scarred Soul: Understanding & ending Self-Inflicted Violence by Tracy Alderman - Publishers New Harbinger Publications: ISBN 1572240792

Click here to read more or buy this book



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What can i do to help a friend who is self harming?

It can be very puzzling why someone would hurt him or herself. The following can help your friend feel more supported and more likely to get help. Remember:



Keep an open mind.

Your friend will be concerned about what other people think, and will have taken a risk by telling you.

Show your friend that you care by making time to listen and take what they say seriously.

Help them to find their own way of managing their problems, including worries that don't seem to be connected to self injury (they might not want to handle things in the same way as you would).

Try to help them identify who can help (you could offer to go with them to tell someone or offer to tell someone for him or her).

Carry on doing ordinary activities you do together.

Don't tease them - your support will be very valuable.

Your feelings matter too.

Your friend might tell you that they are hurting themselves, and ask you not to tell anyone. This can put you in a very difficult situation. It's natural to want to help someone but it's up to him or her whether they feel ready for further help. It would be better if you could work out together who the best person to tell would be, but you might have to decide alone.



You might have lots of feelings about your friend. These could include:



Upset - because they are hurt.

Worried - you're not sure how to help.

Anger - that they could do something to hurt themselves, or at whatever has made them feel so bad.

Frustrated or helpless - because you don't know what to do.

Wanting to take care of them all the time.

Shocked - at the injury, or you didn't know they felt so bad.

Confused - because you don't understand why.

Resentful - that they hurt themselves even though you are trying to help.

Guilty - for feeling you don't help them.

Scared that your friend might damage him or herself seriously or even die.

Responsible for how your friend is.

Scared about involving someone else and scared if you don't.

Remember: Look after yourself - this can be a lot to go through on your own and even people who are trained to work with people who self injure need support from other people.



Try to carry on with your other activities and relationships.

You don't have to be available for your friend all the time.

If your friend hurts themselves it is not because of you.

If you can show your friend that you can look after your own needs, it can help them begin to think that they can do the same.



People who self harm often suffer from low self esteem and a counsellor will also help you to build up your self esteem but it is important that you talk about the reason why you are self harming.



Suicide

If you are feeling suicidal now you may be feeling very alone, lost, frightened, confused. You may be feeling there is no other way out of your problem, difficulties, worries, feelings, or whatever reason you are contemplating taking your life.



It may be that at the moment you are so overcome with feelings, sadness, despair, that you are not able to think clearly about other possibilities, other solutions, other alternatives, other ways of coping.



Suicide is very final - if you succeed in taking your life - there are no second chances and nobody really knows what will happen when they die. It may be difficult to take in at this moment in time but the feelings you have at the moment may be temporary - you may not always feel like this. There are people who have been in the exactly the same position as you and have somehow found the strength to come out of it and have gone on to find happiness and fulfilment in life and to be able to cope with life more easily - they have found alternatives to suicide and were glad that they did not take their own life.



You may feel like this now because the pain you are feeling has become unbearable. Just talking to someone else about how you are feeling can take some of that weight off your shoulders. There may be other things you can do to help yourself cope, to change things, to survive. It is incredibly sad that you feel so bad that you want to die. You may be telling yourself that other people would be better off without you but other people would not want you to take your life.



You may feel that nobody cares about you anyway but there are people who will care if you allow them to care for you. I care deeply that you are thinking of ending your life, that you see no hope, no alternative, but something so final as death.



You may be trying to convince yourself that your loved ones would be better off without you but if you were able to see the devastation that it causes families and friends of people who commit suicide you would not think that.



If you cannot see for yourself a reason to carry on living try and give others the chance to explore with you whether they can help you to see if there are any reasons for you to carry on living - give someone a chance to do that for you. You have nothing to lose. If you are determined to kill yourself there is no hurry - there is no need to take immediate action. Give yourself the next few days to see whether there are any alternatives, talk to a friend, a relative, a helpline, a counsellor, look at some of the websites where other people have felt suicidal but found alternatives to killing themselves. There are alternatives to suicide so give yourself some time to find some support, some help with coping and talk to others about how you are really feeling. Allow others to care for you just as you would if your best friend came and told you he/she was suicidal - talk to yourself as you would a friend.



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Agencies which provide support and information

SupportLine Telephone Helpline: 020 8554 9004, email [e-mail] or write to SupportLine at PO Box 1596, Ilford, Essex IG1 3FW - Provides emotional support and details of support groups, helplines, agencies and counsellors throughout the UK



Calm: 0800 585858, www.thecalmzone.com - Campaign Against Living Miserably Help and support for young men aged 15-35 on issues which include depression and suicide



Premier Lifeline: 0845 345 0707, email [e-mail], www.premier.org.uk/lifeline - Helpline providing a listening service, information, emotional and spiritual support from a Christian perspective



Samaritans: 0845 790 9090 (1850 60 90 90 Rep. Of Ireland), email [e-mail], www.samaritans.org - 24 hr helpline offering emotional support for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which may lead to suicide



Youth to Youth: 020 8896 3675, www.youth2youth.co.uk - Help and support for young people up to 19 years



Useful websites

www.metanoia.org/suicide



www.theblackdog.net - Supportive site for men who suffer from depression and/or suicidal thoughts



www.touchingminds.org - Peer support for those who suffer from mood disorders



See pages on Depression for additional resources



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How can I help someone who is suicidal?

If someone tells you they are suicidal do not dismiss their feelings but take what you are being told seriously. If someone puts enough trust in you to confide his/her innermost feelings you really need to listen to what is being said.



A person contemplating suicide is often in enormous turmoil inside - perhaps at one moment wanting to die and the next to live. He/she needs to know that someone has listened to and heard their pain, that someone can recognise that he/she is in pain and hurting so try and empathise with the person and repeat back, acknowledge the pain and hurt they are in so the person knows you are trying to understand what they are feeling.



If the suicidal person gives you a reason for feeling this way don't dismiss it that it isn't serious enough to kill himself/herself over. The fact that the person is feeling suicidal means that in his/her mind it is serious enough to not want to live anymore.



Allow the person to talk openly about how they are feeling, how long they have been feeling this way, have they made a plan as to how they will commit suicide, what do they think will happen to them when they die, etc.



Try to encourage the person to seek professional help in order that they are giving someone the chance to explore with them what is happening for them and to see whether they can help the person to see alternatives to suicide.



Show the person you genuinely care - this can often be enough in itself to prevent the person from taking their life at that moment in time.



Remember that you can give a person caring, support, time, patience, empathy but that person may at some stage still make the choice to end their life. If you try to help someone who is suicidal and they take their life it is their responsibility and choice to do that. If someone is that determined and set on killing themselves there is not a lot anyone could do to prevent that and you must never take the guilt or blame on your shoulders. All you can do is do your best for that person but some people can have all the counselling, medical intervention, support from family, friends etc. but still make a choice to end their life.



If you are providing support to someone who is suicidal do not forget to get support for yourself as well.



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Help for those bereaved by suicide

If you have lost someone through suicide the pain is unbearable and the constant question of 'why' goes round and round in your head.



It is common for anyone bereaved by suicide to blame themselves - maybe I should have given the person more time, maybe I didn't listen enough, I should have picked up on the warning signs, I had a big row with him/her before he/she committed suicide, if only I had come back home earlier, if only I hadn't gone out, if only, if only if only.



There is also so much anger - how can he/she have done that and left me. There are people who think that suicide is a cowardly thing to do and an easy way out. However, if you were able to understand the intensity of the pain that the suicidal person feels and the immense struggle they have with what they are going to do - in no way is it an easy way out.



A person who is suicidal is so overwhelmed with feelings of despair and hopelessness that the intensity of their feelings takes over everything else. At that moment in time they honestly feel that their loved ones would be better off without them, they may feel a burden or that their problems are a burden to those around them and may not be able to think rationally about what their loss would really mean to others.



You cannot live your life thinking what if I had done this or that because at the end of the day if a person is determined to commit suicide it doesn't matter how much support and help they are given - they may still feel that the pain and hurt they are feeling is so intense and overwhelming that they at that moment in time cannot see any way out of - in some cases whatever you may have done or said or may not have done or said - it still may have not made any difference to the way the person was feeling inside and to their choice to take their life.



The person who has died would not want the loved ones left behind to live their lives feeling blame, guilt, bitterness but would want their loved ones to move on with their lives. The person did what they felt was best for them at that time. The people left behind can rationalise that it wasn't the best thing to do but the suicidal person was at a stage where they could not see that for themselves and may have felt that by ending their life they were saving others around them from hurt and pain. The last thing they would have wanted to do was to cause you more hurt and pain. A person has to find an alternative way out for themselves - if they cannot see that - nobody really has a right to judge them as nobody else is feeling what they felt, nobody else could see what they could see, even if they seemed happy and coping on the outside, nobody could see what they were feeling on the inside - nobody was living their life but them.



If you have been bereaved by suicide please ensure you get as much help and support for yourself as you can. There is still, unfortunately some stigma about suicide and it is so sad that families, friends, often feel they cannot talk about the person who has died in case other people will start asking questions and not be understanding. It is something that will always be with you so make sure you surround yourself with as much support, love, care that you can in order that you are not going through life with this on your own. There are resources on the internet, helplines, counsellors who will support you and work through your feelings with you.



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Agencies which provide support and information

SupportLine Telephone Helpline: 020 8554 9004, email [e-mail] - Provides emotional support and details of agencies, counsellors, helplines, support groups across the UK.



Child Death Helpline: 0800 282986, www.childdeathhelpline.org.uk - Helpline for anyone affected by the death of a child of any age. Advice, information, listening, befriending, referrals and face to face service by arrangement. Staffed by bereaved parents.



The Compassionate Friends: 0845 123 2304, email [e-mail], www.tcf.org.uk - Helpline and support services run by bereaved parents. Support to parents and their immediate families after the death of a child of any age and from any cause. Local contacts and support meetings, befriending, phone and letter contact, leaflets and publications, postal library, retreats and an annual weekend gathering. Compassionate Friends have a sub group called Shadow of Suicide for parents and families of children who have taken their own lives.



Cruse Bereavement Care: 0870 167 1677 - Helpline offering listening support and practical advice related to bereavement. Puts people in touch with local Cruse branches which can provide individual and group support.



Lewes District and Wealden Mind: 01273 488660 Run Assist programmes (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training), email [e-mail] - Provides practical training in preventing the immediate risk of suicide for caregivers - anyone to whom a suicidal person may turn to for support. (This is not a helpline service.)



The Samaritans: 0845 790 90 90, e mail [e-mail], www.samaritans.org - Provides emotional support. 24hr service.



Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide: 0870 241 3337, email [e-mail], www.uk-sobs.org.uk - National helpline and other support services run by a self help group for people bereaved by suicide. Helpline provides listening support and will put people in touch with their nearest local group. Monthly group meetings in various locations. Bereavement pack and literature for survivors. Conferences and support days.



WAY Foundation: 0870 011 3450, email [e-mail], www.wayfoundation.org.uk - Self help support group for men and women under 50 whose partner or spouse has died. Telephone support network of local members. Email support forums. Membership £10 per year.



Winston's Wish: 0845 2030405, www.winstonswish.org.uk - Support for bereaved children and young people.



Some local groups and phone support for those bereaved by suicide

Despair After Suicide: 01772 760662 (UK wide Helpline)



SOBS Support group and helpline (NE England & Tyne & Wear)

0191 417 4133



Norfolk & Norwich Suicide Group: 01603 410172



Take My Hand Support Group: 0114 279 6333 (Sheffield)



Leeds Loss Group: 0113 305 5313



London Bereavement Network: 020 7700 8134



Bereaved by Suicide: 01252 661002 (Hampshire), www.bereavedbysuicide.org

Useful book for those bereaved by suicide

A Special Scar – The Experiences of People Bereaved By Suicide by Alison Wertheimer - Publishers Routledge: ISBN 0415220270

Click here to read more or buy this book



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Useful Websites

www.childsuicide.homestead.com - For parents and families attempting to survive after the tragedy of their child's or sibling's suicide.



www.healingthehurt.com - Online support group for those who have been bereaved by suicide. Visitors are invited to share stories, feelings, to give and receive online support without judgement. Discussion Board, dedications, (tree, flower, ribbon, light a candle for your loved one).



www.metanoia.org/suicide - Help, support, information for those bereaved by suicide.



www.papyrus-uk.org - Prevention of youth suicide: will help parents and carers of young people who are suicidal to make contact with appropriate sources of support.



PLEASE GET HELLP

Answer 204

work for the samaratins, you will make everyones problems seem trivial and make them feel better.

Answer 205

I think you need medication.

I'm not being rude.





Or





You want attention.

Well, that's how it seems because you added those extra details...Wanting people to say "no,you don't belong in the gutter"....



Or atleast that's how I percieve it.