I suffered from depression when I was growing up, trauma, hereditary, or coincidence?

Question

My mother says that she doesn't understand why I am the way I am. Growing up I felt like an outsider, I was very quiet, my father suffered from depression which terrified me, there were a lot of things that terrified me and I felt like I had no one to turn to. I was afraid of humiliation. I got bullied a lot in school, my parents were having a very difficult time. There are too many opinions in this world. I am 20 years old and I suffer from headaches, dizzinesss, confusion, absentmindedness, never been in a relationship (there were many opportunities), I was a cutter because it prevented me from wanting to end my life (it gave me control). Labels are labels. The mind is a lot more complex than people think it is.

Answer 1

The debate over what causes mental illness continues, and the classic "nature vs. nurture" debate still rages on even with professionals. Most, however, agree that perhaps it is a little of both. Your father was depressed, and you are genetically related to him. This can be passed down genetically. Of course, being raised by a depressed parent can be traumatic (no offense, I am a depressed parent myself). So, really, this is something that cannot truly be answered except to say that it is no coincidence.

Answer 2

i've had some experience in dealing with this during middle school, with myself and friends. The problem could very well stem from the bullying, because in some extreme cases bullying affects the mental state of a person, causing them to feel alone, unwanted, worthless, having no real skills, etc. This happens because when we are bullied the mind believes there is a specific reason that we are being bullied, and struggles to find it and deal with it, often causing you to believe different things are true about yourself. The Headaches, dizziness, confusion, and absentmindedness could all stem from your original problem in theory, though it could also be caused by stress in the workplace, around friends and family, or possibly from various hereditary problems if someone in your family or someones suffered from said problems. As for the relationship problems, there are hundreds of reasons why this may be true, but in many cases some people don't actually have serious dating until your twenties, so it probably shouldn't be worried about just yet. You say that there were opportunities, and the reason you didnt take these opportunities could stem from nervousness, shyness, or your depression may have affected your social skills with members of the opposite sex. Cutting is something that happens to many people, and is an addiction that occurs during a state of depression and is done because it is believed to "take away the pain" although in reality it doesn't. I would suggest going to a therapist of some kind to perhaps discover the root of your problems. In my personal opinion, though i can't say for sure without learning more, you were/are depressed due to trauma, perhaps with some depression stemming from your father, in other words hereditary. Once again, i recommend going to therapy and discussing your life to find the root of your depression. I hope this helps.

Answer 3

This is a toughie, and one that it sounds like you already have some of the answers to...

1. When we are "bullied" or otherwise abused, (and that's the label for THAT)...we tend to withdraw, feel afraid, etc. It's normal, who wants to get hurt??

2. Depression CAN be hereditary, or the tendency maybe... my mother was one of 13 kids, 10 were alcoholic (which lots of people use to self-treat depression). 2 of her children were. I was one. I used to cut, and be very depressed...You can get help through a good therapist or counselor. If you don't like one, find another. Be careful of reasons for changing, if it "hurts" to work on a problem or issue, that's actually a good thing....usually.... no absolutes here!

3. All of the symptoms you describe can be from depression OR a medical problem. Get checked out by your doctor, be honest about the problems, and go from there.

4. You aren't what people "label" you as....you ARE what you want to be, can be, work for, etc. I often felt as you do, now when I hear a "label", I question if it is valid and true. I AM some of those, I'm also a wife, a mom, a nurse, a Christian, etc.....we all have lots of "good" labels!

Good luck.

Answer 4

I know that most medical professionals will say that if an immediate family member suffers from any sort of mental illness, then you will have a higher chance of developing the same problem.

That shouldn't be taken as a sure thing, but the chance is higher than normal.

So there's a good chance that if your father really was going through clinical depression, you may have been as well. That doesn't nessesarily mean that it's "hereditary", like it's in your blood, but watching him go through that had to play a good number on your psyche. Sometimes living with someone who has depression is enough to plant the seed in your own head.

I should know; my mother suffered badly all throughout my childhood years and didn't get proper help till I was in 12th grade.

So I would say it could be a mixture of both heredity and the trauma of seeing one of your parents in a deeply depressed state for so long.

Answer 5

Your e-mail sounds more like an angry statement than a question...

Bi-Polar/Depression disorders have been proven to run in families - although in the "old days" people were - as you said - labeled as being high strung, difficult, nervous, etc.

My great-grandmother suffered from clinical depession & was insitualionized for being "nervous". As a child, my mother was tied to the clothes line because she was "high strung" ... which really meant that she probably had hyperactivity disorder. I've been "moody" since the age of 12 or so.

For years I suffered with the knowledge that there was something "wrong" with me, but didn't know what it was or who could help me. My gawd... I'd go from feeling like I'd just won the lottery to wishing I was dead. Sometimes these two feelings would come every few hours; sometimes they'd last weeks. I couldn't sleep more than a few hours at a time but had tons of energy. I was diagnosed a few years ago with Bi-Polar disorder. When I read about it, the lights went on!!! They were describing me!!!

As horrible as these feelings were for me, my family suffered along with me.

Things have been much better over the past year. I've been on a medication for the bi-polar & yes, weekly therapy did help a lot. So did journaling.

Do you know that the majority of cutters are male?

People cut to release the pain... to feel alive... to see the blood & know they are actually alive... even though they feel dead inside.

Your symptoms sound like they could be panic attacks. Do you have heart palputations? Like your heart is pounding?

Finally, yes the mind is very complex, but what I've discovered over the past year is that sometimes the simplest answer is the most profound.

Take care of yourself.

Answer 6

You know, it's rare to find a "cutter" who actually understands why they cut. It sounds like both heriditary and environmental conditions caused your illness. I have read somewhere that the genetic trait suspected to be linked to Bipolar disorder is passed through the X chromosome, which means it's a given that the trait would be passed from father to daughter, whether it manifests or not. I don't know if that's confirmed, but it's likely that with a family history of depression, you would have inherited it. I might be inferring, but it sounds like your dad was very distant and your mom had a good poker face, and tried to deny your home problems. Which meant you grew up in an unhealthy situation practically without parental support, which I'm sure had a significant impact on your emotional development. And I think that would be a good starting point for recovering and getting your life back.

Answer 7

Both. Many psychologists use the "diathesis- stress" model to explain mental illnesses that may have a strong genetic component (which is basically most, if not all, of them). Basically, this says that, a person who is genetically predispositioned to an illness is more likely to come down with the illness under acute stress than a person who isn't.



And, yes. I absolutely agree with you; labels are labels and people are people -- the mind is a lot more complex than we'll ever know. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try.

Answer 8

HI,

I think it's both.....one minute I'm alright...the next I'm not...

I used to take medication when I was your age. I haven't taken any for years for my depression. I just didn't find one that worked for me. I hear other people have great success with some medications. I just never felt better or worse on the meds...the same. So I figured why take it if I wasn't even going to notice a difference. A big part of life is everyone's pretending their fine...and got it all together. You'd be surprised who doesn't on the inside. When things look too perfect in a family....somethings definitely wrong.

Eileen

Answer 9

My dad's sister was diagnosed with depression at the age of 4 years old. This was in the early 1940s, when psychiatry was a relatively new field. Psychiatric patients were locked into asylums, sometimes for years at a time. My dad's parents were poor and uneducated. To them, psychiatry sounded like voodoo. My aunt went without any treatment at all until she was well into her 20s.



Chemical depression, where your brain doesn't make enough of the right neurotransmitters or makes too much of something else, can be caused by defective genes and if so, it can most definitely be passed down to future generations. Just looking at the number of descendants of my dad's mother's grandfather who suffer from depression, it's easy to trace the genetic influence.



Sometimes a person who has a neurotransmitter deficiency doesn't suffer from depression until something external triggers it. And sometimes people whose neurotransmitters are perfectly normal and whose brains are functioning perfectly will develop depression due to something going on in their life.



When you have situational depression, talk therapy is great and may even be better for you than taking anti-depressants. When you have chemical depression, the medications help your brain function more normally. Talk therapy may be a very useful adjunct to the medications, simply because you're going to live with this disease for the rest of your life and coping can be really hard.



My aunt tried to kill herself many times over the years. She had talk therapy, which didn't do much good at all. She was on several medications that helped some. She even had shock treatments, which changed her personality and drastically affected her memory. She finally did manage to kill herself but she didn't commit suicide in a recognizable manner. She injured her neck in a fall, so my uncle took her to the nearest emergency room. The doctors told her that it was nothing serious, blah blah blah, and then they said, "but we see some bone cancer in your spine and you need to find an oncologist to follow up on this." She didn't. Four years later she developed breast cancer (another genetic problem in our family) and died within 6 months. All because when the doctor said "bone cancer," she chose to ignore it so she could die without actually having to kill herself.



I hope from all these posts you've learned that you really aren't alone. There are tens of thousands of us out here who suffer from depression. If your family doesn't understand what you're going through, you can always reach out to the people here to get you through tough times. Ask your family doctor if there are any support groups in your area for people with depression and their families. Then go, even if your mom won't go with you. You need that local support.



Good luck to you, sweetie.

Answer 10

Back when I was taking a psychology class in college we looked at the biological, psychological and social aspects of "disorders" like depression. I believe that it is a combination of all of those things in most instances. I know for me that there was trauma in my life, depression and anxiety run like wild horses through my family and socially the trauma, depression and anxiety all affected the way I could relate to family members, people in authority and with peers. I believe that in most instances depression (and other disorders) have more than one cause, that it is the interaction of several factors that develop into the illness. That's just my humble opinion.

Answer 11

Context makes all the version. If it relatively is from pal-who's-no longer-traumatized/depressed to pal-who-IS-traumatized/depressed and the 1st one has no expertise of the 2nd... no, doomed to failure. i think of a depressed individual (I easily have been one) does might desire to do issues that comprise end feeling sorry for themselves, yet that's like Step 9 whilst they're on Step one million. i've got been depressed and that i've got had depressed pals... There do come factors the place it relatively is like, "ok, heavily dude, no heavily, you have have been given to end feeling sorry for your self and bypass do A, B and C." in spite of the indisputable fact that it relatively is distinctive in case you all be responsive to you already know one yet another, and you will possibly be able to have confidence the advice is pragmatic, and there is acknowledgment of precisely how lots a doubtless user-friendly element might desire to contain. With persons it relatively is like, they don't rejoice with the thoughts or the limitations, and so on, so i could say success is uncommon, even nevertheless there might nicely be situations the place there is actuality to it.

Answer 12

Yes, possibly "biological depression." You have many depression symptoms...I am sad to hear your Mom is not supportive, and understanding, but you are old enough to do something about it on your own... Biological depression is what I was diagnosed with, when I finally got tired of feeling a lot like you do....



There is depression way back in my family. Both my only brothers, one O.D.'d on Quaaludes intentionally, because he was so depressed over his weight, of over 400 pounds, my other brother shot himself with TWO guns to his head, and my only sister, hung herself in jail, with a sheet. All were depressed, all commited suicide. I watched my mother slice her wrists repeatedly, when I was only four years old...terrifying memory. Great grandfathers on both sides, one intentionally overdosed, the other hung himself in the barn.....and one cousin, shot himself, 20 years old.



I take depression medication, and keep my depression well controlled. There is no shame in getting help from your doctor, who can decide if you can be helped with medication, and sometimes counseling is advised.



My prayers are with you. May God wrap his loving arms around you, and lift you out of this dark place, and guide you to the help you need.



((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) Jade Wind

Answer 13

You're right, the mind is very complex.



Hon, maybe you could seek some professional help? You didn't say if you were ever in therapy, but a good therapist really helps us to help ourselves.



From the description of your childhood, it is no wonder you have issues.. I do understand.. my childhood wasn't all that great either.



I was in therapy and i did work the program... anything we work at, can eventually improve... maybe not 100%, but i think that we all deserve good help.



take care of YOU.

Answer 14

Nature vs. Nurture ay, I often wonder about myself in this matter; do I have a bad temper because I was exposed to higher testosterone levels in the womb or because my father was violent? Probably both. A lecturer of mine summed it up quite nicely:

Nature/Genes gives you your degrees of freedom and Nurture/experience determines what you make of those genes.

Email me is you ever need to talk hun.

Answer 15

hi i am an italian girl. depression is only a phicological condition: if you are ready to start to change your actual negative vision, you can change really without the help of medicine.

you can change! you have to found the things that make you happy: for example i discovered my preferite things are music, colour things, animals, painting, ...

the secret is don't think: but do. think the thing you want to do and stop. you can try do don't think past negative experinces, parents and friends situations, future perfect visions, but you only think at the present. the present and stop. so every morning you can start to wake up with happy music , unwritten or turn off the light for example, programe your work or study day and start whit spring and happiness! and without any negative thinking!

Answer 16

They are all connected. Trauma causes depression and in turn, depression causes low self esteem. Depression can also be hereditary.

Answer 17

I think it may be a little of both. Genes and your enviroment affect things like depression.

Answer 18

I don't think it was a coincidence, but it could be one of the other two, or both.

Answer 19

None of the above.



Your depression is caused by your poor dietary habits that are omega 3 deficient.Most humans on this planet have this deficiency which causes countless diseases that they try to "cure"by taking drugs that only hide the symptoms temporarily.



Your mother does not have to understand why you are the way you are.You are special and she should have supported you and accepted you but the human pack mentality and her feelings of inadequacy make her act the way she does just like my mother.She probably thinks of herself as inadequate mother just because her child behaves different then others thinking "i must have done something wrong.I must be a bad mother".Your different character is NOT a disease nor caused by one.YOU ARE SPECIAL and you will grow into a strong and a successful woman if you endure your fearful peers controlled by their animal instincts.



I received the same treatment in school because i was different,special when others were not and because my behavior exposed their inadequacies so there were many reasons why i was harassed.I was/am but one of many others.Today it is different.Through my will power i have earned their fear and respect.



I too choose to be silent most of the time due to their lack of control of their animal instincts.Fear especially.It is the only way to stay alive in modern society.To wear a mask and/or separate yourself from the animals.



Depression is caused by the lack of serotonin in your brain which is caused by the lack of omega 3 fatty acids in your brain.A deficiency that most of the humans on this planet have.



My advice is that you start the omega 3 diet.I have researched omega 3 acids for 2 years and performed a very successful experiment on myself and few of my volunteer friends.Few months of the omega 3 diet i cured my stress[and/or depression] problems permanently and significantly raised my intelligence,improved memory,sight,reflexes[and many other known and unknown benefits]and without any drugs or supplements in the form of pills.



http://www.naturalnews.com/021119.html





Take two table spoons of grinded flaxseed[rich with omega 3 and cheap]a day[with a glass of water] and in a few months you will start to notice significant improvement in your mental health[you will become more psychologically stable,among other things].Use a coffee grinder.Whole seeds cannot be digested by the hydrochloric acid in our stomach only grinded seeds.A fact and not a assumption.You have nothing to loose only gain by it.There are many articles on the internet about the omega 3.2 years ago before i started the diet i did not feel so stable or happy how i feel today.



Flax is the best source of ALA omega 3 fatty acid which our body converts to more important fatty acids called DHA and EPA.For the efficient conversion to take place,foods containing a large amount of the following nutrients must be consumed along with the flaxseed:C,B3,B6 [vitamins],zink and Magnesium [minerals].I recommend 3 table spoons of flax with 100 grams[or more if to your liking] of almonds,1 kiwi every day.[do not take more then 3 table spoons of flax because large amounts can cause intestinal gases which can cause abdominal pain and/or constipation.If three spoons causes abdominal discomfort lower the dosage to 2 table spoons of grinded flax and elevate it to 3 table spoons after your body adapts to high fiber content].The flaxseed itself is not important.The omega 3 that are inside them are.



The information in the following link should provide you with the nutritional facts of most if not all known fruits and



vegetables:http://www.nutritiondata.com



You will never know if you do not try.

Answer 20

stop drinking the tap water.



stay away from fluoride.



eat organic food.



stop watching tv.