anonymous
2011-08-29 09:08:57 UTC
I'm a 20yr old girl and very very confused.
i was diagnosed with depression in 2009 and got given 20mg citalopram, then a few months later got put on 40mg as these had no affect...then at around january this year i came off them completely cause they was NOT helping me at all, or even made me worse!
the feelings i have been getting are bizarre and don't sound muxh like your typical depressed person :/ i get..
Anger, paranoia, anxiety, deeeeeep sadness ( to the point of wanting to kill myself) i worry to much, i imagine things that are not there..like not hillucinations but i could be in bed with my boyfriend, and get up in the middle of the night and suspect someone is in the room ( i don't actually see anyone) i cant even walk down the street on myown with out thinking everyone is judging me or thinking everyone is out to get me! is sounds so bizarre but these are my honest feelings... sometimes i'll even lock myself away from my friends etc for weeks or even months cause i think they all have it in for me! :/
i never went back to the doctors cause i didn't think he would understand and thought they would maybe stick me back on the citalopram.. i hate feeling like this and would do anything to be back to normal cause it's taking over my life. Ive tried so hard to block it out and carry on but it always come back and hits me harder... i just want to know if anyone else has felt this way and had a diagnosis at all? i will go to the doctors when i pluck up the courage i just need some sort of insight of what this might be.
p.s sorry about the spelling and stuff i'm not too good at this kinda thing...x