What should I do? I don't know what's wrong with me?

Question

I only got like one reply, and I am suuuuuper impatient so I'm posting it again..so apologies if you have read this again.

Background:
I've always been a shy girl. I've always had a small group of very close friends and still do. I used to be bullied a lot at school for being 'emo' and 'chubby'.
I used to hurt myself a lot, attempted suicide and was hospitalized twice for overdosing.
I stopped eating when I was 15 and lost 3 stone within 2 months and those bullies stopped calling me fat and left me alone, I seemed to bond with everybody in and out of school more then (even the bullies!), probably because I felt better about myself.

I was fine for a couple of years, but recently I've started hurting myself again, stopped eating properly and have lost almost a stone in the last few weeks (I'm now 5'7" and 8st 6lb). I feel low all the time and have been sleeping around. I'm 18 and have slept with 10 more guys within the last 8 weeks. (I've had 19 in total now ....and I am ashamed.) I just can't control myself and every time I try and start a fresh, I go okay for a while and then mess up. Just I feel so insecure, ugly, huge, and out of control. Sleeping with random men is the only thing which makes me feel accepted, wanted, and attractive.

When I go out now I can't feel the cold; I feel numb and I don't even understand myself. I can't bond with any of the girls in my halls at uni because I don't feel myself around anybody. I literally think about suicide every minute of the day.

What is up with me??? :(

Answer 1

You need to find someone that loves you for who you are. Someone that you can trust. I know it may seem hard but you HAVE to. It's okay, you'll be okay. I have had eating problems and struggle with self harm too. You need to find an outlet, drawing, writing, exercising, dancing, reading, anything that can get your mind off of it. You need to have someone you can talk to no matter what time it is. Please don't commit suicide, it's not worth it and will hurt so many people. Stay strong, you can do this, you are worth the fight.

Answer 2

an exceedingly ill mama canines is an noticeably stressful subject. and that i understand your anger on the distinctive solutions which you won. it incredibly is everyday so you might want to vent decrease back to those individuals a number of your anger and frustration. So, attempt to stay calm and save your concentration on your canines & puppies. do not enable this cloud your genuine purpose - a healthful canines. And sure, i might want to correctly known this consequence. Kudos to you to your rapid action in looking after 7 puppies! it is not common! I desire that greater human beings might comprehend that there are situations that stump even the perfect of vets. whilst the calicum situation is the main consumer-friendly with those indicators, it isn't the only reason. And your dedication to this canines and her puppies is incredibly, very admirable. So, you understand which you're responding to this disaster interior the perfect way attainable. you're doing all you're able to do in an noticeably confusing subject. enable God tackle something. Peace

Answer 3

u shouldnt feel ashamed of being promiscous. believe that right now. but your replacing something thats missing from your life with sex. which is making sex a negative thing in your life. sex is should be a health fun part of ur life. so stop using it for whats missing; which sounds like selfeteem. your basing ur selfesteem on other peoples reactions to you. you have to find a way of building ur selfesteem for yourself. it can only come from within... selfrespect. i helped people who had suicidal thoughts and that helped me with mine. volunteer. helping others or nature gives u selfesteem and gives perspective: look online for charities you can volunteer with. look up art therapy aswell. channelling what ur feeling into something creative studys has shown allows the brain to process negative feelings. and enrichs the soul through self discovery. for your low mood try exercise it releases endorfins that improve mood and brain chemistry. plus its a better way to stay slim without starving yourself. healthy body equals healthy mind. also try joining groups and activities where you ll meet likeminded people or even challenge yourself by joining groups that u wouldnt normally be interested in. you need to fill your life with things that will improve your confidence and give u fullfillment and enrich you emotionally. i believe karma helped me. the more good karma you can fill your life with the better it will get.

Answer 4

YOU NEED TO LOVE YOURSELF FOR WHO YOU ARE

SOMEONE IN THIS WORLD HAS IT WORSE THAN YOU