How do you get rid of a negative attitude and rebuild self-confidence?

Question

I recently lost my job, lost a house I was going to buy and just can't seem to shake the negative feelings inside of me. Any advice on how to regain confidence in my life?

Answer 1

Hey Isah,



I've lost out big before, Sucks.



#1 OK to be sad, but not forever and you usually aren't because of #2



#2 OK to be Mad as he!!. helps move you to get out of being sad and on to #3



#3 OK to get even, now I'm not talking violence or any kind of vindictive behavior, but time to get back into balance.

Sometimes it helps to talk it out with someone who realy cares and will just listen and not try to solve all your problems, don't that get annoying.



#4 Make a plan, Where has all this taken you. What you gonna do now. Now that you know where to go from here...



#5 Take action, nothing like the satisfaction of taking action. This is when you realy start to get over the hump and feel a whole lot better about yourself. Everything else to this point doesn't always feel so great, But here you are now, doing something about it, getting your power back.Send out those resumes, build that savings back when you land your dream job.



#6 Keep going. Dream big because if you never dream, dreams will never come true.

Answer 2

First, since you've lost big things, lets start with the little things. Make a list of the things you have and the things you have to be thankful for. Not just material things, things that you can be thankful for. (Like a reply on this computer.)

Because you are aware of your situation you now possess the power to change it. To think positive, look to what's around you. There are many things we overlook that we are glad about. It may seem silly at first. For example, I look around me and I see clothes on the floor. It's a favorite shirt, dirty and just lying there. But it's mine, I love the color. I'm thankful for my dirty favorite shirt. I'm thankful for the floor it lies on. I'm thankful for the chair under me. I'm thankful for the sunshine shining through the window... the bird outside... the familiar noises outside... the honking of the taxi driver down the street... the laptop here... the day goes by minute by minute and with each second problems fade. Maybe new ones begin but we can deal with our everyday problems if we just slow down and take the time to be thankful for what we have, not what we could have or what we just missed. Dwelling on negative things only steals time away from enjoying positive things. Every time you're feeling negative, make a list, 10 positive things that you're thankful for. It will make a difference. And try to smile, take a walk in fresh air and breath in some sunshine.

Answer 3

Self-help books, from your local library. There are quite a variety, one I remember in particular is "How to Survive the Loss of a Love" - it helped my mom. She said it could be applied to anything you've lost.



There are also loads of books on confidence and self-esteem, though I can't remember any particular title right now.



A lot of things happened to you in a short amount of time. It is normal that you feel the way you do, but you need to get over it. If all else fails, go to therapy, sometimes you can even find some for free or sliding scale.



You'll feel better as soon as you start reading/therapy or doing anything else positive in your life!



If your of a religious faith, get to your House of Worship, that makes most people feel better. Good luck, and feel better soon!

Answer 4

Therapy. I know that some people think it's for crazies, but it really is great to have someone to talk to about your problems who won't judge you and can offer an opinion that isn't influenced by anything like being your friend (because everyone gets the suspicion that friends are lying to you to spare your feelings sometimes, right?). If you've got insurance, it's a great way to let out frustrations.

Answer 5

Inspiring music usually helps me. On a sunny day, just open all the curtains and turn on whatever music makes you feel happy. Or take a hot bath to relax. Get outside and be active. I know not everyone has a lot of free time but in my opinion the music is what helps the most.

Answer 6

my advice to you would be to go to a counsellor to talk things over i have been there myself so i understand how you feel. i would say if you have lost your job you could possibly go to college and learn something that you have a perticular intrest in and gain qualifications that employers are looking for.

you say you are low in confidence well what i could suggest is join a voluntary group of somekind or even participate in some form of excersise its really good therapy and boosts your mood up you also can meet people who have a similar intrest to you and you have something in common with them.

tell yourself i can do this and never give up no matter what stands in your way its not easy but it can be done.

another tip is you could try some kind of relaxtion therapies it provides mental well being.

i would also try talking with members of your family or freinds it will help you feel better too.

hope that helps good luck.

Answer 7

Know that there must be something great in the making.God moves us for reasons unknown to us but rest assure that HE knows what he is doing.Be a good muse and accept what he has done and still is doing.You are a strong person and worthy of His kindness.The greatest things done in life are those GOD does.Realize that you don't have total control of your life,as long as you believe that you do,you will have these feelings again.LET GO AND LET GOD DO HIS WORK!!!!!

Answer 8

Negative feelings come from negative self-talk. Whenever you hear your inner voice saying something negative, just stop and challenge it. Ask yourself if the negative thought is realistic, logical, helpful, true. You will probably answer no to all these. Once you discredit your inner voice, it is easy to replace it with positive thoughts.

Answer 9

WoW! and that i presumed sumtin became into incorrect with my thoughts! (im consistently pissed of for no reason) properly, i cant extremely say something approximately your situation yet wen i became into examining with the aid of your element i felt that it became into like an old guy or woman typing. somebody whos had to plenty hardships and somebody whos altogether unhappy.Thats what i felt. And wen i examine it i additionally felt unhappy. Like a 'why did i examine this?' form of unhappy feeling.I didnt like it. Im sorry yet i cant grant you any help and good now im going to hearken to three funcky tunes and pretend that the international is this variety of nice and dandy place the place anybody is happy.

Answer 10

neuro linguistic programming! Get a self-help book off ebay! Seriously, take some time to re-educate yourself. Can't tell you if it will work but it's worth a try. Read some 'self-help' books and try to implement changes in your thinking.



Good luck, hope it works out ok for you

Answer 11

Having my stuffed animals give me pep talks helps me keep movin'. I stare myself in the and say, Thad today will be good. Your work will fly-by, and if yu keep thinking you can get through this day and even make some progress. Also music helps me. Have you heard the song "move along" by all american rejects, well it gives some great advice: when all you gotta keep is strong, move along, move along like I no you'll do. And even when your hope is gone, move along, move along just to make it through, move along. hang in there.

Answer 12

Pull yourself up by your boot straps and refuse to give up. Laugh about any injustice, see yourself as a champion loser (for the moment). Nothing builds character like suffering, suffer enough and you have to do well. Never give up.

Answer 13

Read the Tao of Inner Peace, it's been a great help for me.

Answer 14

make a list of all the good things you have, study it, then look for a new job and house.

Answer 15

Therapy.....remember everything happens for a reason!