I just want some help with these problems?

Question

Okay, so ill just start off with saying that depression runs in my family, and I am in middle school. I always have those times, maybe once a week, where I feel depressed, but it goes away. But lately it hasn't beel going away.
See, I have this friend who recently started cutting herself. That put me in the dumps, and what's worse is that I can't talk to anybody about it because only I know about it. Anyway, recently she tried to hang herself, but the rope wasn't strong enough and it broke. She told me she was going to try again, and I asked why. She made some really good points, and I agree with her on some things, but I would not ever kill myself. So there is that

Another thing is that I am havering trouble deciding whether I believe in god or not. At this point I was feeling depressed even more. Bt that's not all.
A we days ago I brought home my report card. The first quarter I got a 94 average and this quarter I got a 91 average. See, my mom has always wanted me to get the best grades, and she got really mad. She told me I couldn't spend a lot of time with friends until I got my grades up, and that she was disappointed in me. I went up to my room. This was the cracking point. I cried and cried about how I was one big screw up, and I really just felt like nothing mattered anymore. I didn't want to go to Vassar (which is the school I wanted to get into) and I just wanted to dissapear. Ever since then I have had a terrible sinking feeling in my stomach and it won't go away. I don't even care what happens in school with my grades anymore, and I don't really want anything to do with anyone.

All I want is some advice on how to handle all of this, and thank you for listening to all of this

Answer 1

94% down to 91% ???



My mom was the same way. I'd come home with an A- average and she'd be bitching at me, "Why isn't this an A+ ?" And, she was serious, too! o_0



There's no problem with you - the problem is that your mother has set unrealistically high standards of performance and perfection. You will never "measure-up" to those high standards - so you need to adjust to the idea that, no matter what you do, or how much you accomplish - your mother will still want more and better things for you. These unreasonable standards are representative of the unreasonable desires you mom has to see you succeed in life and be able to achieve all the good and wonderful things that she feels she didn't get to have. Your mom loves you a great deal, but she does not understand the damage she does to you by trying to push you to over-achieve in everything you do.



At some point, you need to "figure it out" for yourself: what is important to you? What do you want? What do you think is reasonable? Is "perfect" a "good standard" to try to measure up to? Or, will that just doom you to failure each and every time? Does your self-esteem, your status, and your value depend upon the results of your last "performance?"



No. "God" says you are good, acceptable, and perfect! Jesus Christ paid the price - all you have to do is accept it. As much as your mother loves you, and tries to express that to you - God loves you even more perfectly, and will provide even better gifts, graces, and blessings to you. We all suffer in this life - our hope is that afterwards, in the afterlife, we will have every good and perfect thing. Here, on earth, perfection is not really possible. All flesh is corrupted - but we WILL be made new. Do not make the mistake of thinking that God's love is changeable and wavering, as the love from your mother might seem like.

Answer 2

Number one you need to step in to help your friend. If there is no counsel you can go to you have to go to a parent, either yours or hers. It would be best to go together so that she won't feel abandoned and thrown to the wolves. Give her the support she so deeply needs, Let her know hoe much you care and hoe it would affect you if anythiong happened to her. About the problem with your mother .... it is her problem. If you are doing the best you can tell her. If there are things you don't understand about a subject, ask for her help in getting the understanding. As a mother of six I know how hard it is not to expect to much from a child but I also realize that if the child is doing their best there is nothing to be ashamed about. Just keep trying to be loving compassionate and supportive

Answer 3

Loolo,



I know things are very difficult for you right now. But it gets better. One day you will be able to look back on these experiences and appreciate them for what they have taught you. Don't give up on anything that is hard. Don't be afraid to fail; it's going to happen. Sometimes your life will feel broken but its okay. You aren't the only one. So find someone that loves you, like your mother, she loves you, and talk to them.

Answer 4

don't let religion get you upset... my parents are disappointed in me because Im not getting confirmed and it makes me upset but I don't want to be religious... im more agnostic. if God is there, he's there. if god isn't, he isn't. I just don't care. don't let that bring you down. I know im not depressed, but my friend has also told me that she's tried cutting and if it worked, she only bled a little. its making me VERY paranoid. when I was younger I tried to, and felt just like you do, but I feel so stupid that I did now. just talk to your mom about your grades... and say you feel a little down... and that you wanna talk to her. talking to my parents (not about my problems but about regular, everyday things) makes me forget about negative things. my mom also cares about my grades a lot... shes mad I didn't make honor roll.. honestly im not trying enough either... we all have problems though.

don't let this make you do something you will regret. you do NOT want to spend a stint in rehab.