me and my fiance want to have kids, hes got adhd and i think bipolar and he also has PTSD. Should i have kids?

Question

he has ADHD and PTSD i think his dad has bipolar too. i know his grandma has bipolar they took her thyroid out and she got it.
so i was wondering i love him so but i don't want to have my kids grow up with mental problems and such. i don't have add or anything of that sort, so should i have kids and take the chance? or talk to a doctor and see if my kids will have this disease? well my fiance says hes not sure he has it he said "he might and i guess the adhd balances it out' but he ddoesn't act like his grandma, who has bipolar he just acts hyper not up or down, so he also has flash backs so what should i do? should we find out for sure if he has bipolar and go from their?

Answer 1

Hi,



I have no Idea about your problem dear. but i am writing because I want to say you that I am so thank full that there are people like you, who can love unconditionally. you are simply amassing!



I think there is a fear chance that your children may have a disease inherited from your boyfriend. however I believe with a hart so big, you will be able to cope it! In the other hand do not forget that there are many "Healthy Parents" who have children with special needs. So its just a matter of Luck. How ever, may be you could have a higher chance of having a problem. In that case be prepared for that. ok?



However, its better if you seek professional help here. those people are trained in these matters and can help us a lot in this kind of situations. Even if your children have these kind of problems, modern medication and therapy may help them a lot if started in early stages. i know that those kids will be lucky to have such a loving mom, compared to most of American families.



However, having kids can be fun, but challenging. So you may have to take extra weight in raising them, even if they are healthy. be prepared to that.



Write back to me if you want to discuss this matter with some body. however I am not the best, I know.



Good bless you.

Answer 2

You can't go looking for whatever diagnosis you want. Just because your son has been difficult to raise doesn't mean you can decide he has some disease and then try to find some way to medicate him for it when people who know better than you, professionals, disagree with your hypochondriagnosis. Bipolar disorder is not known to manifest itself until young adulthood, at about the age of 19. After all the special schools and psychiatrists and everything, I think anyone would assume the role of troubled child and create these tendencies within him or herself. Imagine a day as your son. It is so hard for someone in his place to feel 'normal' for even just a few seconds when his life is so full of counselors and therapists and foster homes. You did, however, do a great thing by refusing to have him take whatever ADHD drugs at such a young age. Doctors can't help but spew this nonsense when their books are essentially advertisements for drugs.

Answer 3

Psych illness is genetic (but for PTSD something has to happen for it to start). Don't let anyone else say otherwise. There are some "nurture" elements to it but genetics are key.



Really you are talking about new age eugenics, something that is happening more and more. And that is a heavy burden for anyone. I would certainly see a doctor to see if he can give you an idea of the chances. It is better to see a doctor so you can talk face to face and he can ask questions and so on. And getting a correct diagnosis for your relatives would help you make up your mind. So I would highly recommend it.



But I do not think it is ethical for ANYONE to tell you what to do. There are always risks when having kids. I have known a doctor asking bipolar women not to have kids- and more often they get VERY mad.



See some doctors, get a correct diagnosis, and just try to make the best decision. Don't let a statistic get in the way of family unless YOU truly believe it is the best thing not to have kids.

Answer 4

Most psychological problems are not primarily organic, so the chances of your kids being bipolar, having ADHD, or having PTSD are slim. The challenge will be for you and your bipolar fiances to raise the kids in a way that is emotional well rounded and constructive. If your fiance largely lives in one of two extremes -- mania or depression -- he'll have a hard time being a great dad. But, even if that's the case, if he works at it, he'll be able to manage the symptoms through various techniques (such as deep breathing and meditation), therapy, and maybe medication. If your fiance has remained committed to the relationship with you then it sounds like his bipolar disorder, if he has one, is not that severe. But, given his PTSD, he should certainly go for therapy. PTSD was caused by real events, something he needs to explore emotionally in order to recover from.

Answer 5

What is the matter with you people? You act as tho her fiance' is some crazy mental patient. Your prejeduce amazes me! I have ADHD and Bipolar. My mother was Bipolar, schizo, and a range of other things. I am just as normal as you, only I have a few more off-days. I have had a stable relationship with my fiance' for 8 years and have cared for my twin sons, with never any problems. Yes, some cases are much more severe.. but this doesn't really sound like one of those. Only she really knows that. Shame on you, and your ignorance.



As for your question, I know nothing about genetics.. but I know there is always a chance. From experience tho, (one of my sons is hyperactive) raising a child with ADHD can be a handful. They run all over. When you turn your head for one second, they take off. They disapear in the store (mine loved to hide in the clothing racks) and all they want to do is have fun. You have to be more firm with them, enforce the rules or they'll walk all over you.



But, they are just as smart and creative.. if not more. My son (with adhd) is 6 now. He plays piano, guitar and drums. He loves music. He composes his own! His twin doesn't have the same desire. I don't know if its the disease, or just coincidence.. but he's a gifted boy. Don't count people short because of a label.

Answer 6

ADHD and bipolar disorder are genetic, but there's a chance that your child may not inherit them. PTSD is not genetic, but your child may model after their father (ex: The father is afraid of snakes due to a traumatic incident and screams every time he sees them; the child will then learn to do the same.) The good news is that all these disorders are treatable and there's a chance that your child may not develop any of these disorders.

Answer 7

bipolar disorder is said to skip generations, but i'm not sure if the scientific community knows that much about the genetics of bipolar disorder. and it's said bipolar disorder can develop, depending upon a person's history.



the main issue i'd have in making a committed relationship with someone who is bipolar, is to make sure they get a proper diagnosis and, if needed, follow their mental health professional's treatment plan.



i'm bipolar, and i know how important it is to take care of ourselves. i have had to work hard to manage my illness, and doctors have worked with me to find the right medications. i also seek therapy when i need it... sometimes we do... but it depends upon the person.



since bipolar disorder is a mood disorder, a person can go from depression to manic states (in varying degrees). these mood swings can lead to agitation for some, and personally, i believe it's important to be able to manage our illness if we are going to have children.



take care.

Answer 8

me & my fiance both are bipolar and he has ADD, he got a vasectomy years ago (before he met me) but if he didn't we would have had one child - neither of his kids have a mental illness, they are completely fine.

Answer 9

if you don't mind having kids and raising them alone, then go ahead. your boyfriend is to mentally sick to be there, the stress of the kids will end your relationship and yes they could turn out with the same diseases as he has. why is YOUR self esteem so low that you'd be with a guy with so many mental problems?